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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26019844">Rush</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeMann66/pseuds/LeMann66'>LeMann66</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Rush [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Fandom, Sanditon - Jane Austen, Welcome to Sanditon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:06:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>143,089</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26019844</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeMann66/pseuds/LeMann66</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlotte and Sidney hook up for a one night stand. </p><p>The morning after, Charlotte finds out that she is the new head mechanical engineer for Sidney’s families formula one team. </p><p>What will happen as these two work together?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Rush [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1963108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>971</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>689</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Carried Away</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She was already firmly on her way to being drunk as she ordered another shot of tequila from the bar. It had been quite the week and Charlotte just wanted to feel something other than sadness- even if it was the piercing burn down her throat.</p><p>Charlotte Heywood had just left a five year relationship. She was always scared to start a new and even though she knew Connor and her were toxic together, the pain of the change had clung to her like a bad smell all week- her face deep in pints of ice cream and red raw like the sun at sunrise, as she mourned the beginning of her freedom at the cost of her safety blanket. Conner was that boy. The one who fancied you in high school. Who kissed you hard behind the gate of your house. He was the boy from her home town of Willingden. They’d grown up together. They should of made it. 

Yet they didn’t. </p><p>Running the back of her hand over her forehead, Charlotte threw back her shot and ordered another one- picking up a lime wedge and shoving it in her mouth to suck on as she looked around the busy club. Her best friend Clara had insisted she come out tonight (making the journey down from London just to accompany Charlotte) and now Clara was nowhere to be seen. Probably off in a bathroom with someone, Charlotte laughed to herself (it wouldn’t be the first time it had happened). </p><p>Turning a little too fast, Charlotte felt her head spinning slightly, as she stumbled over her own feet. Focusing on the ground in order to balance herself, these shoes were too high, Charlotte said to herself as she looked at her black high heels and felt her hand brush against the hand next to her. </p><p>“Hey, you okay?” The voice danced in her ear, as the music somehow got louder. </p><p>Looking up, Charlotte steadied her vision as she was certain she was imagining things now. The man placed a firm hand on her waist as he helped her stand up taller. Gently moving her towards the bar, Charlotte watched him. His black shirt was rolled up at the sleeves and the buttons were low enough to give a glimpse of his chest. He was tall with chestnut hair that was shimmering almost like gold in the club lights. Surely he was too good looking to be real. </p><p>“Umm... yes?” Charlotte almost asked, unable to take her eyes off of him.<br/>
“I’d offer to get you another drink but-“<br/>
“A tequila- I’m celebrating my freedom!” Charlotte asserted, bending over the bar to grab the bottle that sat behind it herself. </p><p>Pulling a shot glass for them both, she stayed leaning against the bar as she handed him an overflowing shot glass. </p><p>“Cheers!” They said in unison.<br/>
Placing her empty glass down on the counter, Charlotte titled her head towards him, biting her bottom lip, “what’s your name?”<br/>
“Tell me your and I’ll tell you mine,” he smiled at her, finishing his own drink and gently putting it down.<br/>
“Your the guy who had his hands around my waist first, I think you should go first,” Charlotte joked.<br/>
“Technically you touched my hand first when you nearly fell flat on your face,” he laughed, looking around the club as if he was searching for someone. He moved forward slowly so he was just a single breath away from her, “Sidney. You?”<br/>
“Charlotte,” she said, her chest moving up fast as she tried to steady her breath.<br/>
“And what freedom are we celebrating today, Charlotte?” Sidney asked, pouring them both another glass.<br/>
“That I finally dumped my jackass boyfriend- now I just need to forget about him,” Charlotte laughed, chucking the glass back in one swift move and then hissing as she felt the all too familiar burn.<br/>
“Well,” Sidney said, leaning against the bar and facing her, “you know the best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else.”</p><p>Charlotte almost chocked as she looked at the serious look on his face. She sobered almost immediately. </p><p>“What?”<br/>
“Hey,” Sidney laughed, shrugging as he called the bartender, “it’s just what I’ve heard.’ </p><p>Biting her bottom lip, Charlotte watched as Sidney ordered a round of drinks to be sent to a table somewhere. As she inspected his face, she was certain he was familiar but she couldn’t quite place it- especially not in her half conscious state. Running her hand through her hair, she thought about what he said. It had been a while since she’d done anything- Connor never seemed in the mood anymore. And.. well she was looking at him. If his face looked that good, she could only imagine what was underneath all those clothes. Plus, she’d never had a one night stand before. Surely this was a right of passage for everyone in their 20’s. </p><p>It would be insane of her to pass up this opportunity with such a man. Not to say Conner was an unattractive man. No he was rather toned from his days working on the farm, and he was fairly tall. But he was.... a boy Charlotte thought. The guy from the bar... now he was a man.</p><p>“So what’s your plan for the rest of the night?” Sidney said looking at his watch, “it’s only midnight but I’m about to turn into a pumpkin,” he laughed, “Big plans for tomorrow and they’re going to test me at every point.” </p><p>He had moved closer to her and now Charlotte was wondering how she was supposed to resist him when he was so close she could practically smell his musky scent.</p><p>“Well,” Charlotte said, she was feeling bold as she trailed her fingers over his covered chest and up to his collar, “if the pumpkin is feeling bold, is this Cinderella allowed to come home with him?” </p><p>Sidney looked at her in surprise for a moment and Charlotte was sure she’d done a stupid thing. He chuckled, clicking his fingers at the bartender and grabbing hold of a black coat- his eyes not leaving Charlottes once, “lead the way.” </p><p>***<br/>
Walking into his apartment first, Charlottes hands gripped tightly around the collar of his shirt as she pulled him along with her. His eyes were dark and expressive, and as he moved closer, his eyes fell on her lips, but before he touched her, he hesitated. He wanted her to move. He wanted to be sure that she wanted him just as much as he wanted her in that moment- and so he waited. With a quick glance, he noticed that her eyes were also on his lips, her mouth open, her breath hitting his face and then she rose on her tiptoes.</p><p>Immediately, Charlotte steadied her breath as she felt his tongue slip into her mouth and Sidney, as if she didn't weigh a thing, lifted Charlotte up, his hard cock pressed directly against her sensitive middle as he slide the hem of her short dress up. As Sidney deepend their kiss, Charlotte arched her back against the wall to pull him closer to her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him deeply, her fingers gripping his hair and latching onto his neck.</p><p>The car ride had been short but was long enough for her to sober up slightly and as his lips moved to suck the crook of her neck and his hot breath lingered like a golden tattoo, she was sure she wanted to do this. </p><p>Sidneys hands made easy work of the straps of her dress and quickly had Charlotte exposed and his lips working their way around her soft bare skin. With an open mouth, he kissed her shoulder blade as his arms wrapped around her waist and his hands gripped onto her ass. He then, slowly let his lips slide to the back of her neck, then to the soft skin under her ear until he found the pulse point on her neck. </p><p>Throwing her head back against the wall, Charlotte felt Sidney’s hot breath as he sucked sweetly against her hard nipples and let out a loud moan. She felt as if she was wearing nothing at all since all she could feel was the heat of his hands and breath against her burning body. Slowly, she pushed herself further into him, more and more, not willing to let him go. </p><p>"Sidney," she whispered breathlessly, as she felt a stinging burn of pleasure in her neck. </p><p>Turning her head to look down at him, the hallway only lit by the night sky, Charlotte watched Sidney’s hands wander up over the thin fabric of her dress, before a dark look washed over him and he torn the thin black dress at the seams and let it fall to the ground. </p><p>His lips were still sliding all over her skin, her lips, behind her ears, over her shoulder blade and back again. Sidney tighten his arms around Charlottes waist and quickly made the familiar walk to his bedroom. </p><p>Charlotte let her hands slip down the back of his shirt to his shoulders, and she could feel his muscles and bare skin beneath her fingertips- sliding her hands over his chest and all over his body as if he were a treasure map that she was studying. As soon as Sidney dropped her onto the bed, Charlotte reached for the buttons on his shirt and in her rushed ecstasy, her trembling finger pulled the edge of his shirt apart- he ripped her clothes, so it was only fairly she did the same to his.</p><p>Pulling down his trousers in haste, Sidney kicked them off and almost feel on top of Charlotte as she pulled him on top of her. </p><p>Their urges had become desperate. It was pure desire with which he looked at her and her body reacted by itself as she let lust fully take over her. </p><p>Sidney slid his tongue into her mouth and with a choked moan, leaned Charlotte back until he could press his lips directly between her breasts in a wet kiss with his mouth open. Shivering, Charlotte threw her head back and moaned softly as she felt his tongue on her skin. </p><p>His finger moved around her thighs and Sidney pulled Charlottes legs over his waist. She could feel him hard between her thighs and lifted her hips up in response. Edging towards her, Sidney’s lips crashed onto Charlottes as he waited for a moment before he carefully entered Charlotte with a deep thrust. Instantly, her loud moan mixed with his as her fingertips dug into his back and they both gasped roughly as they shifted to find a steady rhythm. </p><p>Charlotte felt the adrenaline take over and flipped Sidney over on the bed and in one swoop turned to straddled him and felt him thrust hard into her again. </p><p>She screamed, shouted his name and let him growl.</p><p>Charlotte longingly lifted herself against his long and deep thrusts. Again and again, Sidney hit all the right places inside of her and as they both reached their climax, Charlotte felt her insides explode from passion. She came undone- euphoric from the waves of pleasure that followed. </p><p>Pulling him closer, Charlotte let Sidney take the lead. Panting, he straightened up a little and gripped Charlottes hip with one hand to hold her tight.  He carefully slid his hand between their bodys to gently stroke their connection. Charlotte's heart was racing and his hard thrusts drove her to another climax.</p><p>Sidney’s lips never parted from hers- hungrily marking every inch of her mouth as Charlotte bit softly onto his lip and moaned into his mouth. Sidney felt her walls close around him again and enjoyed the sound of her voice almost screaming his name in breathless anticipation. He thrust deeply into her one last time before he groaned and buried his head in her neck as he felt himself come undone. </p><p>***</p><p>The bright light, shone on Charlottes face as she began to stir. She rubbed her eyes for a moment as she tried to work out where she was- surrounded by unfamiliar white walls and sleek furniture. Her head was hurting from the alcohol and her legs felt slightly limp and tired. Blinking a few times, she could smell that familiar musky scent and almost froze as she realised that there was someone next to her. Turning ever so slowly, Charlotte noticed that Sidney was still heavily asleep and very naked next to her. Darting her eyes around the room, she saw that it was 6:15 am. She needed to leave now or she’d be late for the first day of her new job. </p><p>Slowly, Charlotte slid out of the bed and picked up Sidneys shirt. As her fingers travelled to do up the buttons, she realised they werent there and memories of last night came back to her. Wrapping her arms around her waist, she walked out of the bedroom (grabbing her lace panties from the ground on her way out and thankful they hadn’t been ripped as well) and closed the door quietly behind her. Grabbing her shoes as she made her way towards the front door, Charlotte searched for her dress, and was disappointed when she saw it lying by the front door, ripped and totally unwearable. </p><p>Turning on her heels, she searched the living room for something appropriate to wear for her walk of shame home. Noticing a t shirt, Charlotte threw Sidneys black shirt onto the sofa and threw the T-shirt over her head. It fell to her knees. Sliding on her heels, Charlotte picked up the clothes that lay on the floor on her way out. It may be unlady like to have a one night stand, but she’d be damed if she let the place look like there was a clothes burglar about. As she lifted up Sidneys suit coat from last night, Charlotte felt her ankles roll and quickly put her hand out to grab hold of the edge of the high side table by the entrance. As she did, a small click echoed off the dark, wooden floor and Charlotte instantly felt the pit of her stomach drop. </p><p>Her eyes darted to the floor and the unmissable item shimmered in the morning sunlight. Gulping, Charlotte picked up the thick gold band from the ground and slid it back into the jacket pocket. She hung it on the rack by the door and immediately left as her eyes began to sting slightly. </p><p>She could deal with a lot of things. But she never wanted to be the woman that ruined a marriage.</p><p>And now she felt like she just did.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title:</p><p>Passion Pit- Carried Away</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. This is a man world... but it’s nothing without a woman or a girl</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Here comes the hurricane.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for the positive feedback. This chapters a bit descriptive but gives you some insight into the racing world. Again I’m no expert so sorry if anything is wrong. </p><p>As always, the comments and feedback are much appreciated.</p><p> </p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Letting out a large yawn, Charlotte pulled the door to Sanditon Heritage Centre and basked in the cool breeze of the air conditioning for a moment. The piercing sun was trying to burn her eyes and exasperated her headache but Charlottes thick black ray bans (and the three bloody Mary’s she had had this morning), helped keep the pain at bay. </p><p>When Charlotte walked through her front door this morning, she felt awful. She’d never done anything like that before- not even in her university days, and now she’d done it with a married man. What made Charlotte feel even worse was that she had actually really enjoyed it and for a moment- the briefest of moments, she thought they could of been something, but alas, sometimes the greatest films of all time were never made just like their relationship could never be. She would just go another day waking up alone. 

Having got ready for work quickly, the thoughts had momentarily left her but she just couldn’t seem to shake her guilty conscious. Charlotte found comfort in the idea that at least she was unlikely to run into Sidney again. </p><p>“Miss Heywood?” A voice boomed from behind a glass screen.</p><p>Charlotte turned on the heels of her trainers to find a tall, dark blonde haired man looking at her curiously. </p><p>“Yes?” Charlotte questioned, pulling the glasses from her face and sliding them into the crook of her t shirt.<br/>
“Thomas Parker,” he said sharply, beaming as he walked out from behind the office door and came to shake her hand, “I’ve been looking  forward to meeting you. A lady mechanic.”<br/>
“Ah yes,” Charlotte smiled tightly. She hated it when people made a big deal out of her being a female mechanic (more specifically an engineer)- as if it were a rarity or a spectacular achievement, when in reality it was the same as if any man did it.<br/>
“How are you finding Sanditon so far?” Tom asked, “is the bungalow okay?”<br/>
“Yes, thank you so much for that,” Charlotte said, “Sanditon is lovely, though I have not seen much of it yet. Quite different to Willingden though and definitely different to London.”<br/>
“Yes, the London crowd raved about you. They miss you at the Mercedes garage you know- said I was wicked for stealing you away,” Tom laughed with pride, “I told them we just made you an offer you couldn’t resist. And we do have the best seaside resort there is to offer.”<br/>
“Hmm,” Charlotte hummed politely. She was rather eager to just quit the small talk and get on with meeting her new crew and team drivers. </p><p>The Sanditon Formula One team (more specially the Parker Formula One Team) was fairly new to the game. She had seen them a couple of times on the street circuits in London, when she was working as a member of the Mercedes pit crew. When she was approached by a member of the Sanditon team, their mechanics hearing she was one of the best in the business, she could hardly turn down the opportunity to be the head engineer for the team (an offer she could have only really dreamed of). 

Turning her head around the empty reception room, Charlotte could see a small window into the garage. She was buzzing to get inside but was disappointed to see that it was empty. </p><p>“Did I get the start day wrong?” Charlotte asked, looking up at Tom, “no one seems to be here and it is 11 o’clock.”<br/>
“Ah yes, Charlotte that is because it is the first Monday of the month,” Tom beamed, clutching his hands behind his back and standing up proudly.<br/>
Charlotte looked at him and waited for Tom to finish his sentence but when nothing came, she asked, “and?”<br/>
“We open the track for people to come and watch us test our vehicles. Everyone’s out on the race track testing the cars now to make sure they’re up to scratch for the big race in a couple of months. It’s most exhilarating,” Tom beamed.</p><p>Not even looking at her, Tom began the walk to the race track. Charlotte followed closely behind him, almost running to catch up with him as he rambled on about the history of Sanditon and their family venture into the racing field. Charlotte did not pay much attention. Hearing the joyful screams of the crowd get louder and smelling that sweet scent of tyres burning against the track we’re enough to distract her and cause a buzz in her head. </p><p>As they walked into the top viewing box, Charlotte was instantly overwhelmed by the number of people in the crowd and the volume of their noise. Why had she let herself be talked into a night at the club the night before she was due to start a new job? Tom was instantly pulled to the side by a tall slim, man in a Sanditon crew uniform, leaving Charlotte to put on her sunglasses and walk out onto the balcony to get a clearer view of exactly how many people were in the crowd and catch a glimpse of the six racing cars on the track.</p><p>Leaning her elbows onto the railing, she was drawn to a white formula one car which zoomed around the race track. It took sharp corners and quickly lapped it’s own time as it went around the circuit- passing all the other drivers time and time again. Yet Charlotte could hear it in the car, there was something not quite right. </p><p>“Great day isn’t it,” a voice spoke excitedly next to her.<br/>
Charlotte jumped for a second, her chest heaving up and down from fright.<br/>
“Sorry didn’t mean to scare you,” he smiled, sipping a glass of champagne,”I’m Arthur,” he held out his hand to shake hers.<br/>
“Charlotte,” she said, putting her hand out to shake his but being pulled into a hug instantly instead.<br/>
“Ah, I see you’ve been introduced to my youngest brother,” Tom clasped his hands together as he walked out to join them on the balcony, “I’m afraid I have to shoot off. One of my kids have had a school issue and Mary is in Brighton collecting that car part for us. Arthur will you introduce Miss Heywood to the crew and the drivers?”<br/>
“Of course,” Arthur smiled, resting a hand on his hip and looking down at the men working quickly as a couple cars pulled in for pit stops.<br/>
“Charlotte,” Tom said, moving so he was standing directly in front of her, “pleasure to meet you and I look forward to getting to know you. You must come for dinner on Friday- Arthur make sure she comes to mine for dinner on Friday night. Mary makes the best lamb shanks.” </p><p>And with that, Tom walked off swiftly. </p><p>For the next half an hour or so, Charlotte and Arthur watched the race together. They made small talk. Arthur was interested in how Charlotte got into cars- an enthusiasm he never quite shared with his brothers himself despite also holding shares in the team. 

Charlotte explained how she had learned to work on the engines of tractors on her family farm in Willingden. The thrill and excitement she got from making them work grew and she started fixing everything her father would let her touch- tractors, cars, trucks. It was also her love for watching Formula one on the TV- Le Man’s 66 frequently being played as her father was an avid watcher, that drew Charlotte to the field. She soon applied to university to study engineering and from there, she worked for Mercedes on an apprenticeship. </p><p>Squinting her eyes at the white race car as it pulled in for a pit stop, Charlotte listened to the weird noise it was making. </p><p>“Arthur how do I get down there?” Charlotte asked, looking around urgently.<br/>
“Down where?” Arthur said, taking another sip from his third glass of champagne.<br/>
“To the pit,” Charlotte said.<br/>
Arthur chuckled, “run to the stairs down the hall, then down the stairs, into the garage until you walk further enough for the garage to be the pit,” he looked at Charlotte’s serious expression and realised she wasn’t in the mood for laughing, “the phone on the wall directly communicates with the pit downstairs.”</p><p>Running over to it, Charlotte quickly hit the green button and anxiously waited for someone to pick up. </p><p>“Yep,” a voice came through.<br/>
“Tell the driver to take it slow around the third corner and not go over 150 until the very end,” Charlotte said quickly.<br/>
“Who is this?” He asked.<br/>
“Doesn’t matter who I am. There’s a problem with that oil tank, I can hear it clicking around the track from up here,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Look lady, I don’t know who you are but there‘s no problem with that oil tank. I think you should leave it to the professionals,” he said.<br/>
Charlotte rolled her eyes and steadied her breath, trying not to lose it at the insult, “look if he goes at that speed for more than two laps and he gets hit, your going to lose oil and that car could blow. Tell him to slow down!”<br/>
“Look, I don’t know why your being a bitch but I’m telling you to leave it to the prof-“<br/>
“Do it!” Arthur snatched the phone from Charlottes’s hand and screamed down the phone, “and that’s boss bitch to you Jacob because she’s your new boss!” Arthur said slamming the phone down. </p><p>Charlotte looked at him both stunned and appreciative of him standing up for her. </p><p>“Okay then,” Charlotte said with a smile.<br/>
“Sorry,” Arthur sighed, “i normally wouldn’t get involved- what do I know about cars, but that driver is my brother and even if there is no problem with the car, I’d really rather not take the risk. I do actually like him.”<br/>
Charlotte laughed, “noted.”<br/>
“Let’s get you down there with a headset on,” Arthur said, grabbing his almost empty bottle of champagne, “just in case.” </p><p>Charlotte and Arthur made quick work of the steps and were in the pit with the crew in no time. There were brief hellos (and a very annoyed hello from Jacob) but everyone was too busy watching the cars to really pay attention to Charlottes presence. Charlotte squeezed in next to one of the crew members and watched the cars racing on the small screen. She instantly winced as she saw the car going even faster than it was before. </p><p>“Why’s he going so fast?” She asked.<br/>
The man next to her looked her over before turning back to the screen, “that’s how racing works honey. Fast to win.”<br/>
“That oil tank can’t take it. I told someone to tell him to go slower otherwise he’ll leak out,” Charlotte said in irritation.<br/>
“There’s no oil leak Miss,” he started.<br/>
“Don’t mansplain it to me. I’ve been doing this a while. That oil tanker is going to go with a single knock- tell him to pull back immediately,” Charlotte said, looking at him, her arms crossed against her chest.<br/>
“I’m going to do no such thing,” he said, “I’ve been working cars twenty five years. I know what I’m doing.” </p><p>A loud bang brought both of their attentions to the screen and Charlotte could see the car had been hit from behind and pushed into the side rails. It had managed to recover quickly and was back on the track but Charlotte knew there was a problem. </p><p>“He’s leaking,” Arthur shouted as he ran over with a head set towards Charlotte, “what do we do?”<br/>
“Why are you asking her?” The man questioned, moving his hand to grab the headset from Charlotte, but Arthur swatted it away.<br/>
“Leroy she’s the new head engineer,” Arthur said, anxiously turning to look at Charlotte.<br/>
“Hello?” Charlotte said into the headset.<br/>
“Who’s this?” The voice asked frantically.<br/>
“Don’t worry about me, tell me the situation,” Charlotte said calmly.<br/>
“The back tanks been hit and the exhaust I think is damaged. I’m leaking fast,” he said.<br/>
“How much oil have you got left?” Charlotte asked, mentally working out a plan.<br/>
“About half a tank, but I’ll burn it if I keep going,” he said.<br/>
“You have two laps left and only Crowe is close enough to beat you. Let’s test the car‘s capacity,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Test the car?” Arthur said in a slight panic, “your not testing with my brother Miss Heywood.”<br/>
Charlotte covered her microphone, “you have a spare one Arthur, you’ll be fine,” she smiled.<br/>
“But I like that one,” Arthur responded, swigging the champagne from the bottle.<br/>
“Right. Listen up Parker,” Charlotte said with complete authority, “your going to drop back and drop your speed. Nothing even close to 200- don’t even test it. Let Crowe go crazy. You take one and a half laps at a constant speed- 150 should be fine. Crowe’s car’s not going faster than,” Charlotte paused to look at the speed sheets on the clipboard next to her, “170. You’ll be fine. Last lap, third corner. Then you hit the accelerator.”<br/>
“But I’ll lose,” he moaned.<br/>
“You do you but if you don’t listen to me, two things can happen. You can pull into the pit and waste precious seconds getting it fixed or you leak that tank dry and with one hit you could spark a fire. You want to risk that?” Charlotte asked.<br/>
He exhaled sharply, and begrudgingly agreed.<br/>
“Good luck,” Charlotte said, about to remove her head piece but stopping, “oh and Parker?”<br/>
“Yeah,” he said half mindedly.<br/>
“Try not to get hit again,” she said. </p><p>They all watched in anticipation from the pit. Parker followed the instructions just as Charlotte had given them to him and as they watched, Charlotte breathed a huge sigh of relief when the number 66 car crossed the line in first place. Arthur instantly wrapped his arms around her waist and swung her around in a hug- buzzing with excitement. She could feel the other crew members boring their eyes into her but she didn’t care. She had proven she knew what she was on about. </p><p>As the car pulled into the pit, Charlotte held back as the others ran to it. Arthur could be heard shrieking in excitement and Charlotte just waited to see who was driving the car under that helmet. She watched another car  pull-up close behind. As it was a practice day, all the drivers had been Sanditon team drivers and all cars their own race cars. Parker’s 66 had been their latest car (Charlotte had learned from her small talk with Arthur) and today was the first time they were testing to see if it was an improvement on Crowe’s 54. </p><p>“Parker,” Crowe stumbled his long legs out of the small car and Charlotte smiled, “I told you it was a beauty didn’t I!” </p><p>Crowe smiled and then turned around, immediately swarmed by woman. Crowe quickly threw himself into the attention. </p><p>Charlotte turned to look back at the 66. The crowd had dispersed to cheer amongst themselves, and the driver was walking towards her. As he pulled off his helmet, Charlotte froze on the spot. </p><p>Sidney looked up at her with his helmet in hand, “Charlotte,” he said.<br/>
“Sidney,” Charlotte responded in confusion.<br/>
“The groupies and stalker pit is on the other side of this fence,” he said, instantly regretting the throw away joke.<br/>
Charlotte scoffed, about to open her mouth but was interrupted immediately.<br/>
“Oh Sidney,” the voice rung loudly. A thin, blonde woman ran up next to Sidney and gripped a hand around his.<br/>
“Eliza?” Sidney whispered, almost in surprise.<br/>
“I knew you’d win, darling,” she leaned up and peaked him on his cheek. She beamed as she turned to look at Charlotte- her eyes running judgementally over her, “and who is this?”<br/>
“It’s Charlotte,” Sidney said, slightly stunned by Eliza’s presence, “she’s umm-“<br/>
“Hi, I’m Charlotte,” Charlotte said, holding out her hand to shake Eliza’s and plastering a smile onto her face, “I’m the new chief engineer for the team. And may I ask who you are?”<br/>
“Eliza,” she smiled, not letting go of Sidney’s arms and entirely disregarding Charlottes held out hand, “I’m Mrs Parker. Sidney wife.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title:</p><p>Jame Brown- It’s A Man’s,Man’s,Man’s World</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Hit the Road</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sidney gulped as he watched Charlotte begin to turn away. </p><p>“Sidney do you want me to stay?” Arthur said carefully, looking at Charlotte as she walked into the building.<br/>
“I’m fine Arthur, please show Miss Heywood where she’ll be working. Tom mentioned she was starting today- make sure she has everything,” Sidney smiled tightly. </p><p>He wasn’t sure why he felt guilty but he did, and he knew he’d have to explain this to Charlotte at some point. He was also startled to find out that she was the new chief engineer. He’d heard Tom go on about some Heywood coming to work with them but he’d assumed it was a man... just because it was always a man. He was not expecting a woman to do the job... and he was certainly not expecting her to be as good as Charlotte had just proven herself to be. </p><p>“Sidney dear,” Eliza said into his ear.<br/>
Pulling him out of his thoughts, Sidney clenched his jaw in frustration, “not here,” he said looking around at the crowds of people, “come on.”</p><p>Sidney exhaled loudly as he pulled away from Eliza and led her into the garage at the far end of the track. He knew the men would gather to start work on the race cars soon and this would give him the perfect excuse to cut this conversation short. </p><p>“What do you want?” Sidney said sharply, turning on his heels to look at her.<br/>
“That’s no way to talk to your wife Sidney,” Eliza said, trying to grab his arm again but Sidney moved it quickly.<br/>
“Ex wife,” he muttered in anger, trying to steady his breath.<br/>
“Wife. We’re not divorced,” Eliza smirked.<br/>
“And why’s that? Considering I filed a year ago,” Sidney raised his voice.<br/>
“Oh Sidney,” Eliza huffed, “you alway just want to fight, darling.” </p><p> </p><p>Turning back to look at her, Sidney stared at Eliza’s face. She looked how he felt. Tired. Moving forward towards her, Sidney almost towered over her as he closed the gap between them. Eliza took his movement as an invitation and moved her hands over his chest before looking up directly into his eyes.</p><p>“Why are you here Eliza?” Sidney asked.<br/>
“Tom asked me to stop by,” Eliza said, grazing her fingertips over his arm, “and I wanted to see you.”<br/>
“It’s over. I could not be any more clear about this,” Sidney said, turning back around and making his way over to the tool cabinet. </p><p>He unzipped the top of his driving overalls and wrapped the arms around his waist so he could get to work in just his black vest. He could feel Eliza walking over towards him as he grabbed a spanner and dropped down to lay down on the sliding board, pushing himself under the raised car. </p><p>“Look at you Sidney, all this grease,” Eliza said, looking around in distaste.<br/>
“I like the grease. The engines. The oil,” Sidney said.<br/>
“But you were a driver. The best formula one driver there was and you gave it all up for this,” Eliza said looking around the messy garage, “you could be driving for Ferrari or Mercedes and yet here you are.”<br/>
“I like it here,” Sidney grunted, turning the spanner more aggressively than was necessary.<br/>
“But it’s beneath you. Manual labour. You were a star. You could still be a star,” Eliza said, “you just need to work harder.”</p><p>Sidney instantly slid out from under the car and threw the spanner across the room- shattering the office, glass window. His face was inches away from Eliza’s and she could feel the heat of his breath on her.</p><p>“If you ever dare say that to me again, Eliza I swear to god that spanner will be in your face,” Sidney roared.<br/>
“Are you threatening me?” Eliza smirked, “oh Sidney, that wouldn’t be wise- especially with our divorce proceedings going on- your a mad man.”<br/>
“Eliza, you’ve always tried to poke me like I’m a bear and waited for my claws to come out. Why don’t you you find something else to wrap your noose around? Maybe I'll tell the judge all this myself- ask the court why your so obsessed with staying with a mad man?” Sidney grunted, moving away from her. </p><p>Smiling as she looked around the room, Eliza could hear the piter patter of men making their way towards the garage. Arthur and Charlotte entered the room first and both looked between them and then the shattered glass on the ground. </p><p>“Sidney what happened?” Arthur asked, looking at his brother to ensure he was not harmed, and then hesitantly looking at Eliza to ensure she wasn’t harmed (he knew his brother could have a temper and although he’d never hit a woman before, Eliza knew exactly how to push his buttons).<br/>
“Arthur get that glass cleaned up. Eliza was just showing herself out. I’m taking the 22 out,” Sidney said, grabbing the keys off the hook and storming over towards the long, black sports car that sat at the end of the long row of cars.<br/>
“The 22?” Arthur questioned with concern.</p><p>Immediately, Arthur moved his feet as fast as he could to try and catch Sidney but he was too slow. The men called out after Sidney and Charlotte just listened to them all as she realised, there was something not quite right. Turning to look at Eliza, Charlotte saw the woman smirk as Sidney slammed the door of the car and sped off without a second thought- no helmet, no goggles, no driving equipment. The only thing left behind was the smell of the car tyres on the tarmac, and the smoke from the exhaust.</p><p>Eliza tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked over at Charlotte, who was embarrassed when Eliza caught her studying her movements. Eliza simply winked before clicking out of the garage in her high heels as if she had won something.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for staying with me guys! I know these updates are coming a bit fast but it’s just because I got the beginning done quickly and didn’t want to sit on it. I can’t promise this kind of speed always. </p><p>As always, feedback and comments are much appreciated.</p><p>Title:<br/>Ray Charles- Hit The Road Jack</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. You Really Got Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wiping the sweat from her forehead, Charlotte dropped into the swivel chair in the office, and took slow sips of her cup of tea. It was her third day of work and Charlotte was beginning to feel extremely frustrated. None of the other men in the crew seemed to appreciate her being their or understand that she was their boss. When she made decisions they disagreed with, they ignored her and continued as they wished. Had she been a man, they would of deemed her ideas complex and cool but instead, the men just shook their heads and questioned how much Charlotte deserved this job. </p><p>Tom had not been in the past few days as one of his children had been ill and his wife had Shifts at the hospital she couldn’t get out of. Charlotte had considered speaking to Sidney about it, but since she had met his wife Eliza, Charlotte had decided to avoid him like a plague- only going near him if she had to and when there was a crowd preventing them from speaking openly and alone. It wasn’t hard to avoid Sidney though because he spent most days in the pit or taking the 22 around the track. On her lunch breaks, Charlotte sometimes watched him work the car, burning rubber on the tarmac and spinning faster and faster around the course like sugar in a candy floss machine. He worked the 22 harder than he needed to but she was transfixed- like he was painting dreamscapes on the track. There was something about the 22 that gave it an edge. Charlotte wasn’t sure if it was the sleek black vehicle itself or the driver sat in it. </p><p>Putting her feet up on the coffee table, Charlotte let her mind wander to the dirty thoughts she was having. She bit down on her lip as she imagined Sidneys hands sliding down her back. His hot breath over her breasts and his deep thrusts into her most sensitive of parts. If she could, she would let him take her right here. Right now. </p><p>“What are you still doing here?” Sidneys voice boomed as he leaned against the door frame. </p><p>Charlotte instantly snapped up in her seat. Some of her, now ice cold, tea spilled onto her lap and she instantly darted her eyes towards Sidney like a naughty school girl who had just been caught doing something wrong by her teacher. Charlotte tried to form a sentence but she couldn’t. He was sweaty. He had grease marks on his forehead from where he had wiped away the sweat and his driving suit was wrapped around his waist once again by the arms- his white vest top covered in stains, wet from sweat and clinging to his skin. The way his vest clung to him like it was a second skin, reminded Charlotte of how much she wanted to run her hands over every inch of his body and dig her fingertips deep into the muscles of his back. </p><p>“Charlotte are you okay?” Sidney asked, rubbing his thumb against his forehead as he looked at her in confusion.<br/>
She gulped hard, “what did say sorry? I was in my own world,” focus, she told herself. He’s married. No fantasies.<br/>
“I could see that,” Sidney huffed, walking towards the shelf with all the tools on it and grabbing two screw drivers and a set of wrenches, “I asked what you were still doing here?”<br/>
Charlotte sighed loudly, walking out of the office and over to the raised car she was working on- the 54. Running her hand over it's smooth maroon exterior, Charlotte looked up at Sidney, “I was working on this.”<br/>
Sidney glanced over his shoulder and snorted, “why? That’s not the one we’re using next month which you should know,” Sidney mused, turning around and winking at her as he said, “chief.”<br/>
“Don’t,” Charlotte responded flatly, averting her eyes from Sidney's sharply as she felt the pit of her stomach knot. For a one night stand, he popped up a lot. </p><p>Charlotte swiftly moved to lift the car up so she could stand underneath it. She bit the bottom of her lip as she inspected the bottom, her eyes running from the oil box and exhaust, all the way up to the engine. As she pulled the wrench from her back pocket and got to work on mending the worn brake pads, she could feel Sidney's eyes burning a hole in her. </p><p>“Stop it,” Charlotte said firmly, refusing to take her eyes off the part of the brakes she was working on.<br/>
“Stop what?” Sidney asked, leaning back against a car behind him and crossing his arms over his chest as if challenging her.<br/>
“Looking at me like that,” Charlotte said, “hand me that Allen key over there,” Charlotte pointed to a fat Allen key on top of the cabinet.<br/>
Sidney pushed himself forward, off of the car, and grabbed it, “look at you like what?” Sidney smirked as he handed Charlotte the tool, his eyes watching her as he stood crouched in front of her.<br/>
“Like you’ve seen me naked,” Charlotte said, her voice firm as she looked him directly in the eyes.<br/>
Sidney softly laughed as he scratched his head, “the problem is... I have. In fact, I’m certain I still have your ripped dress in my washing basket- the cleaner wasn’t quite sure what to do with it.” </p><p>Charlotte rolled her eyes, shooing Sidney out of her way as she moved to get a better view of the breaks. Sidney sat down on the work bench opposite where Charlotte was working and enjoyed the view as he bit into an apple and watched her work. Her curls were flowing openly. He could tell that she had been working hard from the fresh stains on her overalls yet she still looked as fresh as a daisy to him. As he bit his Apple, he looked down at his watch to check the time but clocked the empty spot where his wedding band used to sit. </p><p>“Charlotte I actually wanted to talk to you,” Sidney said, clearing his throat.<br/>
“If it’s not about the car or driving the car, I don’t want to hear it,” Charlotte said, preoccupied as she fit her slim fingers through the tricky mechanism.<br/>
“Well, it was actually related to me driving something else... or someone else,” Sidney said as a joke.<br/>
Charlotte instantly dropped her face in his direction, “you did not just say that,” she said sternly. As she looked at his face, Sidney began to wash with panic. Charlotte let out a huge laugh, “never refer to driving anyone ever again. Or if you do, pray not with me,” Charlotte said, returning to the brakes. As the silence settled in again, she sighed, “you better get it over with then otherwise this will just continue to be awkward, won’t it.”<br/>
“Yes,” Sidney said, rubbing the back of his neck, “the thing is. I just wanted to make it clear that when I met you in the club and we went back to my place, not only did I not know you were going to be working here, but I also didn’t know that we’d hookup and end up here,” Sidney said watching Charlottes face, “not that it was bad,” Sidney rushed to add, “it was actually pretty good. Great actually.”<br/>
“Sidney,” Charlotte said, almost like a warning.<br/>
“Right,” Sidney cleared his throat, “not the point. What I’m trying to say is I didn’t think it would be anything more than a one night stand. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again and I’m sorry for any awkwardness.”<br/>
Charlotte scoffed as she grabbed a screw driver off the tool cabinet.<br/>
“What?”<br/>
“Nothing.”<br/>
“No tell me,” Sidney insisted, moving off the bench and towards Charlotte, who was back underneath the car.<br/>
“It’s not the one night stand part that was awkward,” Charlotte said, calmly.<br/>
“It wasn’t?” Sidney said, almost confused.<br/>
“Your such a fucking idiot you know,” Charlotte said, her tone remaining firm yet controlled as she turned to look at him, “it’s the part where it turns out I slept with a married man who slipped off his wedding ring, propositioned me, got me in bed and forgot to mention it the entire time. On top of that, he’s now my boss and his fucking wife turns up daily as if to check on me. I assume you told her.”<br/>
“Wait, Eliza came here today?” Sidney said, his eyebrows raising as his soft face became stern.<br/>
“Yeah, a couple hours before everyone else left,” Charlotte said, returning to the brake pads, “she stayed maybe half an hour. Sat in the office.”<br/>
“Was Arthur still here?” Sidney asked, rushing over to the office and running his hands over the stacks of paper on the desk.<br/>
“No he left after lunch,” Charlotte said loud enough for him to hear.<br/>
“Right,” Sidney gulped, “I’m going to need to talk to someone about her just popping by.”<br/>
“You can’t really stop your wife just popping by at the family business can you?” Charlotte almost spat, but controlled herself realising that the burning sensation in her stomach was a weird form of jealously.</p><p>It wasn’t that she liked him. She had just got out of a long relationship and Sidney was simply a rebound. A way to reset her system. Yet, she felt weird about the whole situation. Like he’d led her on in some way- even though they both knew it was just sex. </p><p>Sidney flicked through the paperwork. Everything seemed to be in order on the desk. He sighed in relief. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he walked back over to Charlotte casually. </p><p>“Im not,” he said, looking down at his feet.<br/>
“Not what?” Charlotte was quick to shoot back.<br/>
“I’m not married,” Sidney said, “well technically I am but I filed for a divorce a year ago. She just won’t come to a settlement. I can do and sleep with whoever I want- and I certainly wouldn’t tell her who it was.”<br/>
“But the wedding ring was in your coat pocket. Why would you still be carrying it around if your separated?” Charlotte asked.<br/>
“I simply got used to it. It didn’t mean anything more than cold metal on my hand. I removed it recently as I realised it was giving out the wrong message,” Sidney smiled to himself. “I really did approach you for just a one time thing you know.”<br/>
“And I accepted thinking I’d never see you again,” Charlotte chucked.<br/>
“Can we start over?” Sidney said, “I’ll even try to forget the image on your naked body pressed against mine for you,” Sidney winked at her.<br/>
“Sidney!” Charlotte said in shock at his forwardness.<br/>
“Yeah I make inappropriate jokes when I’m uncomfortable,” Sidney said, “forgive me?”</p><p>Charlotte looked at him for a second, studying his face. His eyes were wide and hopeful. A soft smile which was warm. She nodded her head and immediately got back to work on the car as her mind began to wonder once again. </p><p>“You never did answer my question by the way,” Sidney said as he went over to pour himself some coffee from the jug.<br/>
“What was it?” Charlotte asked.<br/>
“Why are you still here? It’s almost seven,” Sidney said.<br/>
“Oh they guys just don’t let me really work properly during the day,” Charlotte said trying to sound causal.<br/>
“Why?” Sidney asked, raising an eyebrow as he sipped his coffee.<br/>
“It’s nothing really.”<br/>
“Tell me.”<br/>
“No. I’m used to-“<br/>
“Tell me Charlotte,” Sidney said with co pledge authority.<br/>
“They have an issue with the fact that I’m a woman. They under estimate me and completely disregard everything I say. I’ve never been a natural in this kind of atmosphere but all I do is try. I can be like a mirror all- changing everything about myself to fit in, but the guys here just aren’t interested. But I’m going to prove them wrong. I’m only working on the 54 because Crowe was too drunk and agreed almost immediately- which by the way is illegal you know.  A driver shouldn’t be drunk,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Well did Crowe drive the car?” Sidney enquired.<br/>
“No but-“<br/>
“That’s just Crowe- he’s the best and my best friend so we tolerate his craziness. Don’t pay him much attention. He’s sharp when it matters. And he is letting you play with this car,” Sidney smiled, “the men think you aren’t capable?”<br/>
“Yes.”<br/>
“And your working now to what? Prove some point?” Sidney said, “because if your trying to hide your work, you should be working on the 66 for next months race. We need to fix that oil leak and I’m sure we can get it even faster- shave another few seconds off our time.”<br/>
“I’m fixing the 54 because it’s the only car they seem to let me touch,” Charlotte sighed, “but also because I think it’s the better car. It’s shape is better. It could easily take the 66 with the right adjustments.”<br/>
“Charlotte I wouldn’t-“<br/>
“Look give me a week okay. I can do it,” she said, looking at Sidney directly in the eyes.<br/>
“Fine. But any work you do on it, you need to do after hours, your here to help us get the winning car. That means fixing the 66,” Sidney said.<br/>
“With all due respect, i could make the 54 the wining car,” Charlotte said confidently.<br/>
“Charlotte,” Sidney said.<br/>
“I get it. The 66 during the day, the 54 in the evening,” Charlotte smiled.<br/>
“And I’ll speak to the men tomorrow- though frankly Arthur, whose been here every day this week, really should have said something by now. God only knows how loose and opinionated  his tongue gets when he’s in his jolly moods.”<br/>
“Fine,” Charlotte smiled.</p><p>Sidney took another sip of his coffee before turning on his heels to leave. He stopped to look back at her. </p><p>“Oh and Charlotte,” he said.<br/>
“Yeah?”<br/>
“Go home... Chief. That can all wait till tomorrow,” he smiled.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title:<br/>The Kinks- You Really Got Me</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Lust for Life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Friday evening came around fast.</p><p>Charlotte had not seen Sidney since their conversation on Wednesday evening but he had clearly spoken with the crew. They weren’t exactly thrilled to have been told off (already annoyed that they were working under a a woman) and a couple of the men still tried to question Charlottes authority or mansplain things to her. Charlotte took it on the chin for now though and Leroy (her right hand man) seemed to really step up to the plate and help her out when she needed it.</p><p>In the garage, Charlotte had also formed a close friendship with Doctor Stringer- James, the team medic. He only locumed at the garage. He came in three days a week to check on the drivers and was there on test days and race days. He was kind to Charlotte and Charlotte enjoyed the company when she was working. Arthur visited often to sit and gossip with her (not that Charlotte did much talking, more listening) but it was nice to talk to someone about the cars without them questioning her every move.</p><p>Running her hand through her hair, Charlotte checked herself over in the mirror by her front door one last time. She grabbed the cold bottle of wine she had left by the door and slipped on her ballerina pumps (it was only dinner with Tom, Mary, Arthur and the kids after all). She shut her front door and took the short walk along the promenade to Trafalgar house. The flat that Tom had let Charlotte as part of her job was incredible. It was a stones throw from the beach and a ten minute walk from their house incase of an emergency. </p><p>Using the heavy iron knocker, Charlotte knocked on Trafalgar house and waited in the cool evening sun for the door to open. She looked around. The road was quite, much like most of the seaside town. </p><p>“Ah Miss Heywood,” Tom said opening the door and gesturing for Charlotte to come in, “so glad you could join us!”<br/>
“Well Arthur didn’t give me much choice,” Charlotte joked entering the house, and slipping off her light jean jacket to reveal a knee length, black military style, dress. It was casual enough to play with the children if they wanted her to join them but fancy enough to make a good impression.<br/>
“Hello miss!” As soon as Charlotte slipped her jacket to Tom (along with the bottle of wine) she immediately felt the impact of a little boy against her knees. Looking down she could see a little boy clinging to her leg.<br/>
“Hi,” Charlotte said, smiling at Tom in wonder.<br/>
“Henry let go of Charlotte,” Sidney’s voice laughed from the living room hallway as he leaned against the door frame. </p><p> Charlotte looked down at the boy, who reluctantly let go of her legs. She gulped and smiled wearily at Tom. </p><p>“Hope you don’t mind Charlotte. I know we said it was a small evening dinner but I had Sidney round for a meeting and it seemed silly to let him go without food. He’s family after all,” Tom said jovially.<br/>
“Why would I mind?” Charlotte said, looking up at Sidney and fully aware that he still made her feel things she shouldn’t. </p><p>Charlotte followed behind Tom as he made his way to the living room. Sidney slipped to the side of the door frame to let her enter the room and followed closely behind- Charlotte all too aware of his presence.</p><p>“Fall in line troops,” Sidney said and immediately, Charlotte watched as three young people (including the little boy Henry) formed a straight line. Arthur joined them with a toddler in his arms and Charlotte thought they looked like the Van Traps from the sound of music- pushing her lips together to hold in a laugh.<br/>
“Charlotte let me introduce you since Toms just staring blankely at his own children,” Sidney joked as he glanced over at Tom, who just seemed to be smiling in the middle of the room, “this is Jenny, Alicia, Henry, Arthur and little James. Troops this is chief Heywood.”<br/>
“I’m not an army major Sidney,” Charlotte laughed, gently hitting him on his shoulder as she went to bend down onto her knees to speak with the children, “I’m a car engineer and I’m very pleased to meet you all.”<br/>
“I want to be a car engineer when I’m older,” Jenny said proudly.<br/>
“You have to make sure you work very hard then,” Charlotte smiled.<br/>
“I’m going to be a race car driver just like uncle Sidy used to be,” Alicia beamed.<br/>
“A female driver,” Charlotte smiled, “another to add to our rare but powerful numbers. We could make an entire Parker pit crew here. Henry, would you like to be part of the pit crew?”<br/>
“No I’m going to do what daddy does,” Henry said, crossing his arms over his chest proudly.<br/>
“And what’s that Henry?” Sidney asked, smirking as Tom rushed to leave the room (hearing Mary call him from the kitchen).<br/>
“Boss the people around of course,” Henry smiled and Arthur let out a laugh next to him, “and watch tv.”<br/>
Charlotte smiled, “I’m sure dad does more than just that Henry.”<br/>
“He’s not far off though is he?” Sidney said, bending down to Charlottes ear and making it loud enough for just her to hear. </p><p>Standing up again, Sidney took James from Arthur’s arms and cleared his throat. </p><p>“Alright troops, dinners almost ready. Let’s go wash our hands,” Sidney said, marching the trio out of the living room.<br/>
“Charlotte can I get you some wine? I need some wine?” Arthur said, walking over to the drinks cart, “white or red?”<br/>
“Dealers choice,” Charlotte said. </p><p>Looking around the room, Charlotte noted the picture frames on the wall over the fire place. She smiled as Arthur chatted away. Her eyes skimmed over the various frames. There was a picture of the three brothers and another lady that looked like it was taken a few years ago. Another photo was Tom and a woman Charlotte could only assume was Mary, on their wedding day. There were other photos, one that looked like young photos of the Parker men, the little Parker children with Mary. The one that caught Charlottes eyes most was one of Arthur and Sidney. Sidney was fixing Arthur’s bow tie as Arthur gulped a glass of champagne. </p><p>“The end of that story is awful, but it was a good day,” Arthur said, holding out a glass of white wine for Charlotte.<br/>
“When was it? You both look so happy,” Charlotte said, sipping on her wine.<br/>
“Sidneys wedding day. He was so nervous he kept mothering me,” Arthur smiled at himself as he reminisced, “he was so happy. He’d been with Eliza for ten years, they broke up, got back together and then he wasted no time in popping the question.”<br/>
“Mmm,” Charlottes hummed, sipping her wine even quicker as she regretted instantly asking the question.<br/>
“Oh look at me and my loose tongue. Not my story to tell,” Arthur chuckled, and Charlotte already knew this wasn’t his first glass of the day, “ended in a disaster anyway.”<br/>
“Dinners ready,” Tom boomed from the kitchen.<br/>
“Ooo let’s go before those little ones steals all the good stuff,” Arthur said, instantly locking his arm through Charlotte‘s.</p><p>Dinner was a nice enough affair. Charlotte was seated opposite Sidney between Alicia and Jenny (at the girls insistence).  Mary was the most gracious of hosts and the food was delicious. The kids took up most of Charlottes time and the girls told her all about their school projects, their holidays plans and even invited her to watch Cinderella with them (for the hundredth time, Sidney had added). </p><p>“Mary please let me help with the dishes,” Charlotte said, standing up and grabbing the empty dessert plates.<br/>
“No don’t be silly, the boys will be cleaning up,” Mary said, throwing her napkin onto the table, and pulling James out of the high chair, “off you go boys. Better start now if you want to be finished before midnight.”<br/>
Tom laughed but quickly stopped once he realised Mary was serious, “right come on brothers Parker, let show the ladies we aren’t afraid of a little cleaning.”<br/>
“Mama can Charlotte come and play with us in our room?” Alicia asked.<br/>
“If Charlotte would like to, but you’ll have to ask her? And only for a little bit, it’s already past your bed time,” Mary said.<br/>
“Oh Charlotte will you come and play with us,” Jenny said, grabbing Charlottes arm, “pretty please?”<br/>
Charlotte smiled, “of course. Let’s leave these beastly boys to their tidying shall we?” She said, winking at Arthur and Sidney as they both reached for the plates in front of her. </p><p>Charlotte played with the girls in their bedroom for about half an hour. </p><p>“Bedtime girls. Mums putting Henry to bed and said she wants your teeth brushed and both of you tucked into bed before she’s finished with him,” Sidney said. </p><p>The girls groaned as they walked out the room to the bathroom down the hall. </p><p>“So. I see the girls have you on a lock,” Sidney laughed.<br/>
“They’re sweet,” Charlotte said, putting their dolls back into the box.<br/>
“Yes,” Sidney said, sitting down on Alicia’s low bed and wondering how he could make small talk, “I’m glad to hear that stuff is working out at the garage.”<br/>
“Thanks for that. It’s nice to actually be heard most of the time now- Arthur’s even starting to get involved which is slightly funny because he tried to tell one of the guys off the other day and threatened them saying I’ll hit you with this hammer when he had a spanner in his hand,” Charlotte smiled.<br/>
“Arthur is quite smitten with you, you know. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he fancies you a little,” Sidney said, playing with the flopping ears of a teddy on the bed.<br/>
“I don’t think I ever have to worry about that,” Charlotte said, rolling her eyes slightly, “I’m not looking for a serious relationship even if Arthur batted for the ladies anyway. I just got out of a long term thing. I don’t want another.”<br/>
“You know,” Sidney scratched his head as he pondered his words carefully, “I quite enjoyed our time the other night and with all my past relationship drama, I’m not looking for something serious.”<br/>
“Your point?” Charlotte asked, picking up the toy box and sliding it into the empty spot of the cabinet.<br/>
“Well, if your not looking for something serious and I’m not looking for something serious, but you ever want to have some fun again. I’d be more than happy to do that again,” Sidney said, looking up at Charlotte with a smirk on his face.<br/>
Charlotte laughed.<br/>
“What?” Sidney said, sitting up on the bed.<br/>
Charlotte looked at the door to make sure the girls weren’t on their way back, “You don’t quite get how a one night stand works do you?”<br/>
“Oh I know perfectly well how a one night stand works,” Sidney smiled, getting up to walk over to her, “but I don’t know if you know, I actually have a lot of baggage. So why  even try and explain the inevitable questions some other girl would have when your already up to date and we both enjoy it?”<br/>
“Who said I enjoyed it?” Charlotte said, smirking as her eyes went up to meet his. </p><p>Without warning, Sidney pushed Charlotte back against the children’s bookshelf which was attached to the wall. His lips quickly found Charlottes and he slipped his tongue into hers  as his hands tightened around Charlottes writs and her legs spread on the ground to help him fit his body in between hers. It took everything in Charlotte to not wrap her bare legs around his waist as he trailed deep kisses along the crook of her neck. </p><p>“Stop,” Charlotte moaned, but her neck stretched even further to accommodate Sidneys mouth. </p><p>The sound of footsteps stomping against the wooden floor, stopped Charlotte and Sidney immediately and the two of them had just enough time to straighten themselves out before the girls stormed back into the room. </p><p>“All done, uncle Sidy. Are you going to read us a bed time story?” Jenny asked, jumping onto her bed as Alicia got into hers.<br/>
“I can do,” Sidney said, clearing his throat as he stretched his arm out, just past Charlotte, grazing the side of her head with his arm and grabbing the first book his fingers landed on.<br/>
“Are you going to listen Charlotte?” Alicia asked hopefully.<br/>
“I’m so sorry girls, but I actually need to get home. Thank you for such a wonder dinner though and I’ll definitely be back to play with you both another time,” Charlotte smiled, feeling her cheeks blush red as Sidneys eyes stayed on her, “goodnight girls!”<br/>
“Goodnight Charlotte!” The girls responded in unison. </p><p> Charlotte smiled and began to walk out the door. As she reached the girls bedroom door, she tapped her fingers around against the wooden frame and looked back at the trio as Sidney sat on the arm chair in between their beds and got ready to read their story. </p><p>“Sidney,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Yeah,” Sidney looked up at her.<br/>
“I’ll think in about,” Charlotte said, smiling devilishly, “I’ll seriously consider your proposition.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Firstly, thank you all for the comments and feedback. As alway, they are always appreciated. </p><p>Secondly, just a fun fact. I was inspired by grey anatomy and all the chapter titles are inspired by the last song I listened to on my playlist whilst writing. This one Lana Del Rey. </p><p>Hope you enjoyed it :)</p><p> </p><p>Title:<br/>Lana Del Rey ft The Weekend- Lust for Life</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. UGH!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Monday had been a long day in London for Sidney. </p><p>Tom had asked him to cover for him in a meeting with their investors as James was feeling unwell again and Mary couldn’t get out of her shift at the hospital (she was a paediatric nurse, so Sidney wouldn’t have wanted her to leave even if she could). After a relaxing weekend at home- tinkering around of the engine of an old vintage jaguar E-type he had recently acquired and listening to his vinyl collection, Sidney thought he would be okay to handle the London types- he was once one of those London types after all. However, as soon as Sidney stepped into that office on Monday morning, he knew it was going to be a long day. Question after question Sidney felt like he was a broken record repeating the same thing over and over. What he hated answering most was still the same question everyone brought up when they recognised him- “why aren’t you still driving in the races?” </p><p>He never wanted to discuss that. </p><p>Answering his phone on the hands free of his Aston Martin as he flew into Sanditon on the empty, country road, Sidney was relieved to hear Babingtons voice. </p><p>“Sidney,” Babington said, almost sternly, “I heard you were in London and you didn’t even call me. I’m offended.”<br/>
“Babington, I didn’t even want to be there myself- why would I drag you along with me,” Sidney groaned, turning the steering wheel so he could drive down the road not too far from the cliff tops.<br/>
“Well, I’m still missing my best bud,” Babington said, “you’ve stolen Crowe to the mundane life of Sanditon and you’ve retreated there yourself. What’s a man supposed to do when his friends abandon him?”<br/>
“Babington you were here last weekend,” Sidney laughed, “I took you to the club and we were drinking in the afternoon.”<br/>
“Actually you ditched me at the club and then never even explained what happened. Though I do know how the ladies swoon after you so I’m sure I can guess,” Babington joked.<br/>
“Never mind all that Babington,” Sidney said as he pulled into his road, “your coming up for the races in a couple of weeks but come up before then.”<br/>
“For what?” Babington asked.<br/>
Sidney parked up his car in his garage and slammed his door shut, “a lost boys weekend!”<br/>
“A lost boys weekend? We haven’t done one of those since,” Babington paused and hesitated.<br/>
“Since that god awful weekend my ex wife who refuses to divorce me cheated on me and you and Crowe decided I needed to get drunk and we ended up in Moscow with prostitutes?” Sidney finished, rummaging through his keys in his hands as Babington went silent on the phone, “Yeah I remember somehow but I’m thinking something tamer this weekend.”<br/>
“Well I’m not opposed to it,” Babington said.<br/>
“Okay that’s set,” Sidney said, pulling the stack of files from under his arm into his hand and walking through his dark house over to his office, “I’ll confirm with Crowe and sort out the bookings.”</p><p>Walking into the office, Sidney flicked on the light as Babington rambled on about where they could go. As the yellow light came on, Sidney jumped slightly from a fright and then let out a silent groan as he looked at the person siting behind his desk. </p><p>“Babington I’m going to need to call you back,” Sidney said, not even giving his friend a chance to respond as he slid the phone from his ear into his pocket. “How did you even get in?” </p><p>Sidney dropped the files onto the side cabinet in his office and walked over to his drinks table. He needed a strong glass of bourbon to put up with her after the day he had had. </p><p>“I had a spare key,” Eliza shrugged, dropping her high heels from his desk onto the wooden floor.<br/>
“I never gave you a key for here,” Sidney groaned.<br/>
Eliza laughed, “maybe I just had it copied.”<br/>
“Eliza what do you want?” Sidney said, downing his glass of bourbon and quickly pouring himself another.<br/>
“You look over worked Sidney,” Eliza said, running her fingers over the desk and she moved towards him.<br/>
“That’s what happens when you actually work for a living Eliza instead of living off your dead husbands money,” Sidney spat.<br/>
“You need to learn to ease up,” Eliza said, gripping her hand around the back of his neck and bending up quickly to peck him on the cheek.</p><p>Sidney instantly jumped backwards. Shaking her off and moving to the opposite side of his desk so there was a physics barrier between them.</p><p>“What the hell are you doing Eliza?” Sidney scowled.<br/>
“Sidney don’t act like you don’t like it. You used to love it when I touched you,” Eliza rolled her eyes and leaned forward on the table, trying to be seductive.<br/>
“My hate for you has made me out grow any kind of pleasure I used to get from you Eliza. Now I just feel nauseated,” Sidney said, looking at the clock behind her and wishing she would just leave, yet Eliza seemed to be dragging her feet.<br/>
“I like this house,” Eliza said, looking around.<br/>
“You hated it so much when we were together you refused to even step foot in Sanditon. Why don’t you continue to make that a habit and get the hell out of my house,” Sidney said sternly.<br/>
“Well, technically half of what’s your is mine, so let’s just say I’m standing in my half,” Eliza smiled devilishly, slowly making her way around the desk.<br/>
“Why don’t you give me half of your money and we’ll call it even then Eliza?” Sidney smirked at her and enjoyed the scowl that formed on her face. If there was one thing Eliza loved more than controlling people, it was her money. Thinking back to their wedding now, Sidney was surprised that she was willing to marry him without signing a prenup.<br/>
“I’m here on business Sidney,” Eliza said, sitting on the table, only inches away from Sidney now.<br/>
“I don’t do that type of business,” Sidney said, dropping to his chair and nursing the last of his bourbon.<br/>
“Sidney, I don’t want the divorce,” Eliza said.<br/>
“I do,” Sidney said bluntly, “I have wanted to be free from your shackles since before I even filed.”<br/>
“Well I don’t,” Eliza said, “and I won’t go without a fight.”<br/>
“Eliza I’m not playing any more. This is the last time I’m letting you through my door. Now you need to leave,” Sidney said sternly, standing up so he could tower over Eliza, “whatever you have left to say, you can say to my lawyer.” </p><p>Eliza stared at Sidney for a moment. She tried to read his expression but she could see nothing besides his anger. </p><p>“Fine,” she rolled her eyes. Eliza knew she needed to regroup, “can I at least use your bathroom before I leave? It’s a long drive home.”<br/>
“If it means you’ll leave quicker, then go ahead. It’s just outside,” Sidney said, exhaling sharply. </p><p>Eliza walked off slowly. Her mind was working on how she could possibly turn the situation to her advantage but she wasn’t entirely sure. As she entered the bathroom, she locked the door and turned on the tap- just trying to stall for time. She glanced up at herself in the mirror. She didn’t like to lose. Staring at her reflection, the gold on her small, dangling earring shimmered as it caught the light. Eliza looked at it and suddenly felt the clogs of her brain moving. </p><p>Instantly she took one of her earrings out and clasped it in the palm of her hands. Stalking out of the bathroom, she looked at Sidney from the doorway of his study door.</p><p>“I’ll show myself out Sidney,” she smiled and rushed off before he even replied.</p><p>Eliza stopped at the sofa on her way out. It was a black leather sofa with a few movable cushion parts. Eliza dropped her earring into the sofa. Making sure that she concealed it from plain sight. Eliza was not stupid and she’d heard all the rumours about Sidneys playboy lifestyle. At least now, she’d get the upper hand on at least one of his conquests. </p><p>“Bye Sidney,” Eliza rung one last time through the house before closing the front door with smile.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As always, thanks for the comments! </p><p>As I said before, I don’t know too much about formula one so any notes or tips are much appreciated. </p><p>The positive Feedback has been really great- I haven’t written  much before so I really appreciate it. Hope your all still here for the ride :)</p><p>Title:<br/>The 1975- UGH!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Give It Up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was six o’clock on a Thursday evening. Charlotte found herself under the hood of the 54, fixing up the engine and adding the last few tweaks for the day. She had spent the week working with a surprisingly sober Crowe to try and make the car go faster- changing the brakes and adjusting the body. 

Stringer had offered to come a couples evening that week so Crowe could drive the car around the track. Charlotte knew she wanted to push Crowe and the car to see if it could hit that magical number where speed met the sky. She had always wanted to reach that number ever since she got behind the wheel of a car. Since Crowe mostly had a hangover in the morning, he did not mind the later starts and Stringer enjoyed watching the private shows- fortunately able to relax with a cup of tea as Crowe masterfully ran circles around the track. The car was clocking a good time but Charlotte knew she could do better. </p><p>Tinkering under the hood, Charlottes mind wandered to the thought that would often consume her. Sidney. She had spent the week seriously considering Sidney’s proposition. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t interested. She didn’t want commitment. She didn’t want the strings or the emotions. She enjoyed being his friend (if you could call their brief acquaintance that) and would hate to ruin anything. But she couldn’t deny that she enjoyed the feeling of his warm body against hers.</p><p>The sound of heavy feet on the ground, drew Charlotte out of her thoughts and immediately she moved her head so she could peak out from under the hood and catch a glimpse of the culprit. Walking into the room was none other than the man himself. His beard was grown- he’d obviously not had time to shave recently. His overall’s were pristine and clung to his skin. When he looked like that, how could Charlotte think of not doing anything with his body, she thought to herself. </p><p>“Ah, Chief Heywood, still here?” Sidney said loudly, walking into the garage and straight over to the office with a stack of paperwork.<br/>
“You said I couldn’t work on the car during the day, so I did it this evening,” Charlotte smiled, taking her head out from under the hood.<br/>
“Yes, Crowe mentioned it when I went out for a drink with him on Tuesday night,” Sidney laughed to himself, shutting the filing cabinet with his foot and beginning to roll up his sleeves.<br/>
“Oh! So you guys talk about me?” Charlotte said cheekily, folding her arms over her chest, “what else did he say?”<br/>
“That you were very bossy,” Sidney laughed.<br/>
“That’s just because I’m a woman. If I gave him the same instructions as a man he wouldn’t bat an eyelid,” Charlotte said, turning back to the engine as Sidney approached.<br/>
“I know,” Sidney sighed, wanting to change the touchy subject. </p><p>Sidney instead, began to ask Charlotte about the modifications she had made whilst working on the 54. The 54 was the last formula one model the Parker team had built for the race. It was good but with so many modifications being identified, Tom and Sidney had decided to start on the 66 last November. Sidney didn’t really get why Charlotte was so determined to fix it up but since she wasn’t doing it on his time, he didn’t really say anything. He listened happily as she spoke about changing the gearbox so that Crowe would be able to shift gear with his fingertips and changed the pads to carbon fibres. As she finished speaking about the car and the newer streamline dynamics, Charlotte shut the hood and turned to Sidney. Folding her arms over her chest and exhaling deeply. </p><p>“I thought about what you said,” Charlotte said, “And... I want to but I’m hesitant.”<br/>
“What’s holding you back?”<br/>
“The married part,” Charlotte said honestly.<br/>
“But you know it’s nothing more than a piece of paper at this point right?” Sidney said seriously, “I’ve not slept with her in over a year and a half. I’ve barely even seen her. She simply refuses to sign on the dotted line that formalises the fact that we’ll have nothing to do with each other.”<br/>
“I know but it’s the thought of it,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“The thought?”<br/>
“It’s silly,” Charlotte gulped, turning away from him and running her fingers over the mechanical tools that lay beside her.<br/>
“No, tell me,” Sidney said.<br/>
“It’s just... My last boyfriend cheated on me and I remember how badly I felt after that. The words I called that woman- and him for that matter. I don’t want to be a hypocrite,” Charlotte said, looking down at the floor.<br/>
“Look,” Sidney said, gently placing his fingers under her chin and lifting her head up, “it’s entirely different. I’m separated. I’m practically divorced. I’m not in a relationship. We’re not cheating. You and me have nothing to do with her.” </p><p>Charlotte searched Sidneys eyes and could see the serenity they held. She tip toed and crushed her lips into his- deepening the kiss as Sidney slid his tongue into Charlotte’s mouth and pulled Charlotte in by the waist. Charlotte bit down gently on Sidney’s bottom lip and began to almost suck on it as she tried to slow down time and take everything in. </p><p>As Charlotte reached to unzip Sidneys overalls, she pushed him backwards in a hope to get him down on the hood of the car behind them. As they stepped back together, the sound of metal hitting the floor distracted them both- a spanner falling to the ground as they clumsily moved. </p><p>Charlotte looked down for a moment and then back up at Sidney.</p><p>“Okay wait,” she said looking at his bare abs under his half unzipped overalls, momentarily distracted.<br/>
“Charlotte, my eyes are up here,” Sidney joked, leaning against the hood of the 66 behind him once he noticed Charlotte staring at his bare chest.<br/>
“We have to make a pact,” Charlotte said, snapping her eyes up to his face.<br/>
“A pact?” Sidney raised an eyebrow in amusement.<br/>
“Yeah. Outline exactly what this is,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“It’s not a business deal Charlotte,” Sidney laughed.<br/>
“I know but I want to make sure we’re on the same page,” Charlotte said, looking around and picking up a formula one driving history book, “this is practically a drivers bible so we can agree on this.”<br/>
Sidney laughed as he looked at the seriousness on her face, “if I’m making a pact on anything, it’s not some flimsy book.”<br/>
“Fine then. What do you suggest then?” Charlotte said.<br/>
“On the 66,” Sidney suggested.<br/>
“The 66?” Charlotte said sceptically.<br/>
“You love the engine. I love the car. It makes total sense,” Sidney said.<br/>
“Fine,” Charlotte said, looking Sidney firmly in the eyes as she began, “no relationship,no emotions. Just sex.”<br/>
“Whatever happens, we stay friends,” Sidney added.<br/>
“Swear,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Swear,” Sidney repeated.<br/>
“Swear,” they both said in unison. </p><p>They looked at each other awkwardly for a moment. </p><p>“So I guess... we should just start,” Sidney said scratching his head, “I’ll start.”<br/>
“This isn’t tennis,” Charlotte laughed, looking around and then smirking as her eyes landed on the 66, “I’ve never done it on a car before.”<br/>
“Yeah,” Sidney said, looking at the 66, “but that would be pretty uncomfortable. My Aston Martin’s in the next garage. I think it will be a little more private,” Sidney winked, taking her hand. </p><p>Charlotte left her brain near the 66, following Sidney as he led the way to the next garage and to the Aston Martin. She was giddy from excitement and drowning in lust. </p><p>As they reached the garage, Sidney shut the door behind them and instantly wrapped his hands around Charlottes waist from behind her and nuzzled his head into the crook of her neck- trailing kisses and sucking hungrily. Charlotte groaned out loud (it wasn’t like anyone else was in the building) and turned herself around so she could pushed her tongue, cravingly into his mouth. Her hands quickly found the edges of his overalls and pulled at the collars to fully expose his bare torso. </p><p>Gently, Sidney tightened his arms around Charlottes waist and lifted her up. Charlotte instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist and deepened their kiss as he carried her over to the car. Laying her onto the long hood of the Aston Martin, Sidney moved back to take a deep breath, before he moved his hands to her greasy overalls. As he tightened his fingers along the buttoned edges, Charlotte laughed. </p><p>“Don’t rip this,” Charlotte smirked, “I need it in the morning.” </p><p>Sidney laughed to himself, and quickly made light work of the offending buttons. Dropping the top of her overalls down her back, Sidney slid his hands over her shoulders, along the straps of her lacy black bra and then further along the side of her torso. Charlotte shivered from the feeling of his fingertips running over her skin and let out a loud moan as Sidney pushed her back against the front window of his car and pressed his wet lips directly between her breasts and showered her with kisses (his mouth open and devouring her as fast, yet passionately as possible). Charlotte felt her body shiver from the electric feel he gave her, throwing her head back and moaning softly at the feel of his tongue on her skin and the feeling of his beard rubbing over her sensitive skin. </p><p>Unclipping her bra, Sidney licked his lips as he took in her bare torso in the faint garage lighting. He could see everything. Her full breasts. Her hard nipples. Sidney slowly lowered his head and kissed the soft skin just above her breasts before trialing his mouth further down to her belly button. Charlotte ran her fingers roughly through his hair as she felt his hands tug at her overalls and pulled them down and off her ankles. Her very thin (and very wet) panties followed very quickly after and Sidney happily threw them up in the air, over her head.</p><p>Charlotte felt goose bumps form on her leg as Sidney trialed kisses up to her thigh. Slowly Sidney, placed both his hands on her thighs and carefully spread them apart, moving his body in between them. Charlotte pulled at the waist band of his pants and quickly pushed them down. Sidney shook his leg so his overalls and boxers fell- kicking them off as fast as he could. Climbing on top of her, Charlotte closed her eyes and opened her mouth as Sidney leaned down to lick her lower lip with his tongue. Charlottes finger immediately ran through Sidney small curls, and she pulled him closer onto her as she wrapped her tongue into his. </p><p>Sidney began to deepen their kiss. His tongue gently playing with hers before it became more passionate. More hungry. Charlottes fingers ran along his skin. She enjoyed the feeling of his muscles moving under his skin, slipping both her hands over his shoulders and digging into his back with her nails. </p><p>As their hands continued to explore the others body and their hot breaths sent electric feels over them, Sidney slowly trailed his hands down to Charlottes thighs and pushed his fingers into her, over and over again. Charlotte responded just as eagerly, closing her palm around his hard cock, feeling his full length as slowly and fully as she could. Sidney let out a growl that almost sent her over the edge. </p><p>He could no longer take it. With both hands, he pulled Charlotte down the hood and moved himself so that the tip of his cock slid into her wet entrance. Charlotte arched her back and moved her hips to drive him even deeper inside of her as Sidney firmly gripped her hips.</p><p>Sinking her fingertips into his back as he thrusted into her over and over again, Charlotte pulled him closer to her with each of his movements. Their lips touched as Sidney pushed into her over and over again. They moaned into each other's mouth as lust hypnotised them. </p><p>Sidney licked his lips as Charlotte tugged at his hips, willing him to thrust longer and deeper into her. Sidney reached for her breast with one hand and Charlotte began to move so she bent against him- their rhythm completely in sync as they moaned and Charlotte practically screamed his name.  As they climaxed, Charlotte felt her legs tremble and when they both came, Sidney collapsed on top of her before turning to lay on his back, beside her on the hood of his Aston Martin. </p><p>Catching their breaths, they both laid there in silence for a few minutes- just the sound of their deep breaths echoing through the room. </p><p>“Thank god no one was here,” Sidney joked, “that would have been quite the musical.”<br/>
“Stop it,” Charlotte laughed, hitting his chest lightly with her hand as she bounced off the car and began to look around the room.<br/>
“Looking for these?” Sidney smirked, holding up the thin black underwear he had tossed onto the roof of the car. </p><p>Charlotte snatched them off his hands and quickly got dressed. Sidney followed her lead, but took his time getting dressed. </p><p>“We should do this again sometime,” Charlotte smiled as she fixed her post sex hair. She wanted to look professional as she left the room, just in case someone was still lurking about, but nothing would hide the euphoric glow she had from those orgasms.<br/>
“Pleasure would be mine,” Sidney chuckled softly. </p><p>And with that, Charlotte walked out the garage with a huge smile on her face and left a smirking Sidney wanting for more.<br/>
 </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks to everyone for all their feedback and comments! </p><p>I hope your enjoying the story so far :)</p><p>Title:<br/>Nathan Sykes ft G Easy- Give It Up</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The Man</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Charlotte!”</p><p>The soft voices boomed through the garage. Charlotte turned her head away from the track and instantly felt her body knock into Stringers as Alicia and Jenny ran into her and wrapped their arms around her legs. Stringer gently put his hands around Charlottes shoulder to help her stand up straight as the girls shrilled around her. </p><p>“Hi,” Charlotte smiled, giggling as the girls moved back and looked up at her.<br/>
“Charlotte daddy said we could come and play here today,” Jenny said excitedly.<br/>
“Can we go in the car? Can I drive the car?” Alicia asked eagerly, running over to the 66 and trying to climb into the seat. </p><p>Charlotte could see Sidney walking into the garage with Tom beside him. Sidney immediately picked Alicia up and threw her over his shoulder playfully. </p><p>“Not yet Alicia. We need to make sure the chief is happy with the car,” Sidney teased, glancing up at Charlotte as he put Alicia down next to Jenny.<br/>
“Yes Alicia. We can’t interrupt Chief Heywood but maybe she would be happy to show you around a car like Uncle Sidney does,” Tom said, holding baby James in his arms.<br/>
“Where Henry?” Charlotte asked.<br/>
“After school club. It’s 3.45. I’m not taking them all home just to go out again in an hour,” Tom moaned. </p><p>Just then, Crowe screeched the 54’s wheels right next to Charlotte leaving a fine dusting of burned tarmac in the air. He stepped out, pulling the helmet off his head and shaking his loose curls.</p><p>“Heywood it’s not working. The carbon pads are stiff. The gears aren’t changing as smoothly as I’d like around the corners and I can’t get it higher than 180,” Crowe moaned.<br/>
“That’s not right,” Charlotte said, grabbing the clipboard from Stringer’s hand and biting her bottom lip as she thought, “it should be able to hit 200 easy.”<br/>
“Well I cant get it there,” Crowe said, throwing his hands up in the air defensively before walking up next to where Arthur was sitting and taking the flask from Arthur’s hand to take a long swig.<br/>
“He can’t drive that car now,” Stringer moved in close to Charlotte,and whispered in her ear.<br/>
Charlotte laughed lowly, “I know.”<br/>
“What did you expect really?” Jacob said for the garage, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his overall and smirking as he walked to towards Charlotte (but kept a good couple of meters between them), “from Chief Heywood.”</p><p>The garage erupted in a low set of chuckles from almost all of the men. Charlotte gritted her teeth but just shook her head and returned to look at the clipboard- there was no point in arguing with ignorance, so she did what she was accustom to doing. She ignored it. She didn’t like their little games and she needed to be smarter. </p><p>“Jacob,” Leroy said in a warning, noticing the way Tom and Sidney were both looking between each other and then at Charlotte.<br/>
“What? It’s true. She thinks everything works off of a sound like she has some magical ears and she’s trying to tell us how to do our jobs. What do women even know about cars?” Jacob laughed, “there aren’t even any women drivers.”<br/>
“They actually know a lot and if you bothered to read you’d know there are. Just assholes like you that stop them from actually wanting to pursue the job or progressing. Your intimated just by me standing here, god forbid I decided to actually race you in a car- you might actually start to cry,” Charlotte spat back.<br/>
“I’m not so threatened by a girl. Especially one who doesn’t even know how to make the breaks move properly,” Jacob smirked, “do women even know how to race cars from that village you said you were from?”<br/>
Charlotte scoffed, “they know how to drive and men know how to not be assholes in willingden.”<br/>
“Sounds infinitely more interesting than here,” Crowe snorted between Arthur and Stringer as he took a swig of whiskey from the flask.<br/>
“You know what Jacob, I am so sick of running around here as fast as I can, doing twice the work and still getting zero of the recognition I deserve. I don’t have to put up with this crap. If I was a man, you would be praising me and kissing my ass.” </p><p>Exhaling sharply, Charlotte looked around the garage. All eyes seemed to be on her. These men saw her as nothing more than a conquest to add as a new notch on their belts. Charlotte had always known this job was going to be hard and knew people like Jacob were going to be trouble as soon as she walked in. She just never expected to have to fight so hard. Charlotte noticed the cars were all lined up for the end of the day. She looked at Tom and Sidney to her left for a moment before turning back to Jacob. </p><p>“Your working on the 66?” Charlotte asked Jacob.<br/>
“Yes- and it’s actually worth the effort,” Jacob said proudly.<br/>
“I’ll race you,” Charlotte said, pushing the clipboard into Stringers chest and walking up to Jacob so she was almost toe to toe with him.<br/>
“I’m not racing a girl,” Jacob grunted back.<br/>
“Why?” Charlotte smirked, “scared I’ll beat you?”<br/>
“No,” Jacob shot back quickly, “it wouldn’t be fair to you. You’d be at a disadvantage. The gender and then the car. I wouldn’t want to be accused of cheating.”<br/>
“Ok I think that’s-“ Sidney interjected and tried to speak up.<br/>
Charlotte cut him off almost immediately, “I’m not worried. I’ll take the 54. You the 66.” </p><p>Charlotte stomped off towards Crowe. Jacob was playing with a dangerous game in front of her and Charlotte was going to take the matches before fire could catch her. She pulled the helmet and mic from his hand and turned on her heels. </p><p>“Unless your scared?” Charlotte teased as she checked the specs of the 54.<br/>
“Oh Charlotte are you going to drive?” Alicia squealed in excitement as Charlotte placed her hand on the steering wheel for support as she leaned in to see the oil meter. For a moment Charlotte felt bad that she had forgot that the children had been there.<br/>
“No she’s not,” Sidney said sternly, raising an eyebrow. He walked up to Charlotte and whispered, “this is insane. Jacob is just an asshole. Don’t do this.”<br/>
“I’ll be fine,” Charlotte said absent mindedly, pulling the hairband from around her wrist to tie up her loose curls.<br/>
“Look you don’t have to prove anything. We can just get rid of Jacob,” Sidney said.<br/>
“You can fire him?” Charlotte said, snapping her neck to look at him.<br/>
“Of course. We don’t put up with that kind of prejudice from anyone. Shall we do that now?” Sidney said, sighing a breath as he assumed Charlotte would call off this insane race.<br/>
“Hey Jacob! Why don’t we make this interesting,” Charlotte said moving Sidney to the side with her hand and walking over to Jacob again, “you win and I’ll resign.”<br/>
“What?” Sidney, Arthur and Tom shouted in unison.<br/>
“Let’s not do anything with haste now Charlotte,” Tom said quickly, balancing James on his hip as he moved towards Charlotte.<br/>
“And what if I lose?” Jacob asked, smirking at the thought that he’d be easily able to get rid of her.<br/>
“Simple. Then you quit,” Charlotte said. </p><p>Jacob looked at the men in the garage. They had all ignored every single piece of advice Charlotte had given on that car. The men treated the car as their prized possession and anything Charlotte said (even if it had been proven to be true) was simply not good enough for their shiny toy. Now was the time to show off their prize possession. </p><p>“Deal,” Jacob said confidently, holding out his hand to Charlotte.<br/>
“No Charlotte,” Tom shouted.<br/>
“Deal,” Charlotte said, shaking his hand. </p><p>Tom and his brothers groaned loudly. All three of them liked Charlotte- albeit all for different reasons. The rest of the garage buzzed with excitement at the turn of events. </p><p>Jacob and Charlotte immediately got to putting on their helmets and microphones. Alicia and Jenny jumped around Charlotte with excitement, passing her some driving gloves as she got ready and watched her with doe eyes as she slid into the 54. Sidney, Tom and Arthur all huddled near her and mumbled amongst themselves. To say they were against the idea was an understatement. The had heard Charlotte was the best at her job and they could not risk losing her on pure chance. Sidney also opposed the race all together. He had driven behind the steering wheel many times himself, but he knew the risks and he always refused to encourage others from doing it just for the thrill of it. </p><p>“You sure this is a good idea Charlotte?” Stringer asked, crouching down beside Charlotte as Charlotte kept her eyes on the Parker brothers and buckled in.<br/>
“I’m sure,” Charlotte smiled, turning to look at him, “they’re never going to respect me until I prove myself.”<br/>
“That doesn’t sound fair,” Stringer said kindly.<br/>
“No it doesn’t but it’s a fact of the world,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Okay, well, good luck then. I’m here if anything goes wrong- but I’m really praying things don’t,” stringer smiled, getting up and pecking the top of Charlottes helmet, causing her to laugh. </p><p>Jacob smoothly drove the 66 out of the garage. He reved the engine as it reached the starting line and Charlotte doubted her car for a moment as she heard the 66’s engine vibrate on the ground. She snapped out of it quickly though. She knew she was good at her job. She knew she could do this. She had full faith in the 54. </p><p>“Let’s go!” Crowe said from the starting line.</p><p>Charlotte raised her head over to the Parkers as the came to get the girls from around the car.</p><p>“Good luck Charlotte!” The girls said in unison as Tom grabbed their hands and moved them away. Tom smiled at Charlotte but she could see he was worrying about something.<br/>
“You can still say no,” Sidney said. He didn’t mean to sound so unsupportive.<br/>
“Can’t change my mind now. They’re all watching me,” Charlotte said, raising a unconvincing smile of confidence.<br/>
“We’ll be on the coms if you need us okay. It’s only ten laps,” Sidney said, exhaling sharply as he hit his hand gently against the side of the car and raised a smile as warm as he could.<br/>
“Don’t mind him,” Arthur said, coming over to Charlotte with James in hand, “he doesn’t like people driving sports car.”<br/>
“He drives a sports car. His best friend drives a sports car,” Charlotte said crinkling her eyebrows.<br/>
“Yeah but that’s different. It’s related to a thing that happened a few years ago,” Arthur said, shaking his head as he realised he shouldn’t have said that, “anyway good luck!”</p><p>Charlotte know there was more to that story than she was being told but she chose to ignore it. She couldn’t think of that now. </p><p>Pulling up to the starting line, Charlotte turned to look at Jacob. He was beaming with a cockiness Charlotte recognises from her days on the Mercedes tracks. Turning her eyes to the black track, Charlotte could hear the clicking of the lights and instantly felt the adrenaline rush through her as the checked flag waved and her foot pressed onto the accelerator. </p><p>Immediately, Charlotte felt the breeze zap through her helmet and brush against her skin. The engines roared like lions on the track as the smell of burning oil and plastic scented the air. The crew cheered quietly- silent in anticipation of what was going to happen. As she passed around the course for their first lap, charlotte could see the girls jumping up and down with beaming smiles and she felt the drive in the pit of her stomach. In her head, she told herself she needed to win. Not for herself, her job or her pride. But for those two girl. </p><p>As the laps went round, Charlotte was pretty much neck and neck with Jacob- the two switching positions each lap but remaining pretty even. Sidney felt proud of Charlotte in that moment- admiring the way she held her own out there on the track. </p><p>He was annoyed at himself for being so unsupportive earlier but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t like it when the people he loved drove sports cars. Not that he loved Charlotte in that way, he told himself. No it wasn’t anything like that. It was simply that every time someone Sidney loved in any form got into the driving seat, it ended badly and he couldn’t help but think something would happen to Charlotte. </p><p>On top of that, Sidney knew these men. He knew Jacob. He wasn’t one to play fair and he knew that he’d try and drive Charlotte off the track if he was given the chance. </p><p>“Charlottes pretty bad ass,” Stringer said proudly, folding his arms over his chest as he stood next to Sidney to get a better look at the track.<br/>
“Charlottes the best,” Alicia said.<br/>
“Charlottes going to win,” Jenny added.<br/>
“Yes Charlotte is the best, isn’t she,” Stringer smiled as he looked down at Alicia, “and she is going to win.” </p><p>Sidney didn’t know why, but the way Stringer spoke left a weird taste in his mouth and caused a sting of anger to run through him. He instantly tried to shake that sudden feeling. Trying to distract himself from the driving and his feeling for Stringer, Sidney moved near Leroy. </p><p>“Leroy what speed is she clocking?”<br/>
“185.48” Leroy said quickly.<br/>
“And Jacob?” Sidney asked.<br/>
“189.12” Leroy said less enthusiastic.<br/>
“She needs to go faster. There’s three laps left and Jacobs beginning to pull forward,” Sidney said, slightly agitated.<br/>
“She’ll do it Sidney,” Leroy said, pushing the mic from around his mouth up, “she’s not stupid. I’ve seen her work. I don’t want her to have to leave either.”<br/>
“You don’t?” Sidney said, looking up at Leroy in confusion, “but the guys said you agreed she shouldn’t stay last week?”<br/>
“Just because I keep my mouth shut doesn’t mean I agree,” Leroy laughed, “and between you and me, she’s the best chief I’ve ever had-especially when she can actually do her job.” </p><p>Sidney smiled to himself and walked back over to look at the race course. Charlotte had done far better than he thought- the 54 had never made times like these even when Crowe (one of the best drivers in the country) or even Sidney were behind the wheel. She was a natural on the race track and it made him wonder why she had never tried to go into racing instead of engineering. </p><p>“Sidney, I don’t know much about driving but that doesn’t look good,” Arthur said, swinging his flask and disappointed that it was empty when it hit his lips.<br/>
“What is she doing?” Sidney whispered to himself as he watched Charlotte move the car so it was a hairline away from Jacobs.<br/>
“Sidney why isn’t she slowing down as she approaches that bend?” Tom said, now more worried about the speed than the distance between the cars.<br/>
“Why aren’t either of them slowing down? They’re going to go straight into rails if they don’t slow down,” Stringer said, his normally calm voice raising with panic for the first time in a long while, “if they keep going and remain that close to one another, they’re going to crash- and take the other one with them.” </p><p>Sidney immediately removed himself from the pit on the track where they had all been watching and dropped back towards Leroy who was watching the screen with wide eyes inside. Everyone was on edge as the cars knocked each other every so often. Sidney pulled the headset from Leroy’s head and immediately began to talk into it.</p><p>“Charlotte what the hell are you doing?” Sidney said into the mic, firm and stern. He waited for a response but heard nothing as he watched her car edge closer and closer to the bend on the monitor. Those seconds were feeling like hours as he watched in fear of what could happen, “Charlotte!”<br/>
“I know what I’m doing,” Charlotte said into the mic.<br/>
“Charlotte-“<br/>
“I know what I’m doing,” Charlotte said firmly. The line cut there and Sidney knew she had turned off the coms. He had done it himself quite often back in the day. </p><p>Sidney dropped the headphones onto the table and looked at the monitor with anticipation. Both cars were neck and neck and Sidney almost wanted to cover his eyes. </p><p>“Leroy what’s she hitting?” Sidney asked, gulping.<br/>
“200.18 Sid,” Leroy said quietly.<br/>
“Him?” Sidney questioned.<br/>
“203.98 but he’s increasing fast,” Leroy said. </p><p>In the car, Charlotte held her foot steady on the accelerator. She had eased it slowly into the race, getting the new carbon brakes to ease into work and gently working the engine up in speed. When she first got into the car, she knew she wanted to win but as the laps went on, she wanted to prove the 54 could do it. It could hit the speeds it needed to. </p><p>Looking over at Jacob, Charlotte was pleased to see he was following her lead and she waited, as she predicated his next moves. He was cursing right next to her and Charlotte just knew he was putting his foot heavily on the accelerator (no regard for the damage he may be doing to the engine). </p><p>“Hold it,” Charlotte said as she watched Jacobs car edge forward shakily, “hold it.” </p><p>Now. </p><p>Charlotte switched her gears, dropped her speed and pulled her car back to go around Jacobs, knowing that if she went any faster, she would skid off the bend of the track. Jacobs ego meant he kept his foot on the accelerators and as he pulled his foot off, it was too late. He lost control of his car and everyone could only watch as it spun into the rails and its screeching noise echoed through the tracks. Charlotte was going too fast to stop and crossed the finishing line. She slowed her car around the track and edged back to the accident site. </p><p>“Is he okay?” Charlotte said jumping out of the car.<br/>
“Possible neck fracture,” Stringer shouted, as the men helped to gently move Jacob out the car. The oil was leaking from the damaged right side of the veichle and they knew the car could blow at any moment. “Chance of a concussion as well but,” Stringer paused as he shone a light into Jacobs eyes, “I think he’s okay. I’m going to take him to the hospital.” </p><p>The Parker brothers watched with half of the crew as Stringer lifted Jacob with the support of a couple other men. </p><p>They all breathed a sigh of relief as Stringer shut his car door and suggested that all was going to be well- no signs of anything too serious.</p><p>As the men went back into the garage, Alicia and Jenny ran over to Charlotte (Leroy emerging from the pit behind them with baby James in his arms). </p><p>“Charlotte you won!” Alicia screamed, jumping into Charlotte’s arms.<br/>
“You’re the winner!” Jenny shouted even louder as she wrapped her arms around Charlotte’s legs.<br/>
“Yes she did girls,” Tom said, taking James and looking down at his watch, “girls we need to go get Henry from school- Charlotte come to ours for dinner Thursday and we’ll celebrate,” shooing his girls with his arm toward the building, “oh and Charlotte well done but never do that again!” He said sternly, pecking her on the cheek as he tried to walk as fast as he could. </p><p>Charlotte turned back with a smile on her face. Arthur looked her, all giddy. Sidney stood there broodingly and Crowe... Crowe looked drunk. </p><p>“This is fabulous Charlotte!” Arthur said, lifting Charlotte in a hug and swinging her around like a rag doll. “Sticking it to the man and all that!” Arthur put her down and beamed, “This feels like a million tiny stars just aligning. This calls for champagne. I have a bottle in the fridge. Let’s go,” Arthur clapped his hands and immediately began walking towards the garage. </p><p>Arthur didn’t even bother to wait for anyone to follow. Crowe dazzlingly followed Arthur with Leroys help, his arms wrapped around Leroys as he found his balance. Crowe repeatedly leaned into Leroy to tell him that he was very aware of his surrounding- he was just struggling to see straight. Leroy just laughed.</p><p>Sidney clutched his hands behind his back and began to walk back to the garage while Charlotte went to get back in the 54. </p><p>“You know,” Sidney said, turning back on his heels, “that was the stupidest idea you’ve ever had. What would you have done if you lost?” he wasn’t angry- his tone rather amused.<br/>
“Found a new job,” Charlotte laughed.<br/>
“I was terrified at the end there. I really thought you were about to go into a wall,” Sidney said seriously.<br/>
“Your going to have to learn to trust me and my instincts,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“And the damage of that car. Almost £100,000 down the drain because I don’t think the 66 is going to be able to come back the same,” Sidney said, looking at the damaged car.<br/>
“Good job I fixed the 54 then,” Charlotte smirked, “but at least now the guys will let me work on the 66.”<br/>
Sidney laughed, “also, can I just say,” Sidney moved to within an inch of Charlotte, “that whole speech with Jacob earlier and your powerful thing with sticking it to the man- that really turned me on.”<br/>
“I’m not entirely sure the point of me standing up for myself was meant to turn you on...but,” Charlotte said, looking over Sidneys shoulder to make sure no one was around and then running her fingers over his chest, “Why don’t you come to mine tonight and show me just how much it turned you on?” </p><p>She bit the bottom of her lip and looked up at Sidney- catching his eyes and already seeing a dark lust in them. As he moved his head down toward her, desperate to press his lips into hers, Charlotte winked at him and turned sharply on her heels. </p><p>“See you tonight,” she shouted, jumping into the he 54 and zipping down the track back to the garage and very much looking forward to later.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate it. I was a little too eager to get these chapters out that I wasn’t proof reading them, so I do apologise for the delay in posting but they will be a bit less regular. </p><p>As always, I appreciate and look forward to reading what you guys think and thank you so much for coming along on this ride with me :)</p><p>Title:<br/>Taylor Swift- The Man</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Blowback</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A loud knock on the front door pulled Charlotte up and off of her sofa. She had got home from her tiring day at work (buying a Chinese on the way home) and dropped onto her sofa after a shower. A marathon of old friends episodes was playing on the tv and Charlotte settled into the soft, emerald green sofa. The adrenaline had washed away. She was truly ready to just fall asleep as her eyes tiredly struggled to stay open. </p><p>Lazily walking over to the door, Charlotte yawned as she pulled the bright red door open. </p><p>“Bad time?” Sidney said, catching her at the end of her yawn.<br/>
“No,” Charlotte whispered quietly, moving aside and letting him into the small bungalow. She had been looking forward to this. </p><p>Despite her initial reservation, Charlotte liked this arrangement. It had been a couple weeks and they’d often called each other up just to sleep with the other. Sometimes it was at the garage. In the back fo Sidney’s Aston Martin. On the sofa in the office. Or in the bed at his house. Their arrangement came without the complications. The emotions. The guilt. Just the physical act. Like two people playing tennis. Just a game. They’d shake hands. They’d play their set. They’d  go their separate ways. On the odd occasions when Charlotte did find herself catching any sort of feelings- nights where she just couldn’t stop thinking about Sidney and her (hoping maybe he’d been there too a few times), she’d simply shake them off and remind herself of the easiness of her arrangement, her pact and her last relationship. </p><p>And sometimes, Charlotte just really needed the sex (why jeopardise this?)</p><p>The bungalow Tom had organised for Charlotte was spacious and light. It had ceiling windows and cooper finishings. The two rooms were perfect- a large master bedroom and a smaller (but still generously sized) spare room which Charlotte kept for guests. Walking into the open plan living room, Charlotte followed behind Sidney as he stopped to look over her vast book collection on the large bookshelf in the wall. The usual suspects of Road &amp; Track Illustrated Automotive Dictionary, Hurley: From the Beginning and Le Mans 24 hours were there. They were mixed in with books like The Art of Racing in the Rain, Peter Pan and a collection of finely bound, cloth Jane Austen books. What caught Sidney’s attention most however, was the long row of bibles Charlotte had. </p><p>“Didn’t know you were so religious,” Sidney said with a small chuckle, casually glancing over her attire. A grey tank top and black booty shorts.<br/>
“And if I am?” Charlotte asked, raising an eyebrow.<br/>
“I went to church every Sunday as a boy. Hanky Panky- as Arthur and I coined him, would not approve of what we have been doing,” Sidney laughed, running his finger tips over the spins of the books and feeling the different materials against his skin.<br/>
“Hanky Panky?” Charlotte tried to stifle a laugh but failed, “your going to have to tell me more about that story one day.”<br/>
“Gladly,” Sidney laughed. </p><p>Taking his hand into hers, Charlotte pulled Sidney in towards her and wrapped her fingers around the back of his neck to draw him down for a kiss. Charlotte gently crashed her lips into Sidney’s- still slightly tired, but as soon as she did, she felt an electric surge run through her body and wake her up.</p><p>Charlotte felt Sidney begin to trail his hand down her top and as their lips fought to drink the other in, Sidneys arms wrapped around her waist and his hands were under her top and on her stomach. Moaning into his mouth as his fingertips travelled up the sides of her rib cage, Charlottes breath sharpened. Sidney sucked kisses along her neck, digging his head into the crook of her neck and along her shoulder. </p><p>Feeling the fabric in his way, Sidney lifted the grey culprit swiftly over Charlottes head and carelessly flung it behind him. Sidney greedily guided his lips to the back of her neck and along to the sensitive part behind her ear- hearing his name moaned breathlessly into his ear as he sucked softly. Charlottes hands gripped under Sidneys shirt as she felt her body get more and more excited. Standing in just her bra and some boot shorts, Charlotte breathed so hard that her breasts rose and fell seductively. </p><p>Sidney moved his head back slightly so he could take Charlotte in for a moment, but Charlotte refused to give him the time- the lack of his warmth against her body leaving her slightly dizzy. She gripped his hair with her hands and pulled him in for a passionate kiss. With a groan, Sidney picked Charlotte up from the ground and pushed her back into the bookshelf. Her legs wrapped around him as she rested her ass on the wood. Sidney gently pressed his body into hers, his tongue entering her mouth with permission and wrapping around hers.  </p><p>Her burning hands slipped under his t shirt and instantly, Charlotte gripped onto the hem and pulled it up, only breaking their kiss when she wanted to remove his shirt entirely. Sliding her hand over his bear chest, Charlotte moaned as she felt Sidneys hard cock rising against her thigh. As Sidney dug into her neck softly, Charlotte impatiently pulled at the fabric of his waistband (undoing the top button of his jeans and pulling down his zipper quickly) and slipped her hand into his boxers. She felt his skin twitch against her chest as she took him in her hand and began to gently rub her hand up and down to feel his whole length. </p><p>Tightening her hand, Sidney groaned, accidentally biting Charlottes neck a little harder than he meant as Charlotte played with his hard cock in her hand. He moved  his lips to bite the soft pink flesh of hers- pushing Charlottes head back into the shelf as he deepened their kiss. </p><p>Releasing her hand, Charlotte knew she didn’t want to play around any more. Both her hands slipped into the front pockets of Sidneys jeans and she pulled them down with one eager pull- his boxers following suit and Sidney kicked them off. Sidney responsively lifted Charlotte up higher, her back pushed against further against the book case, her waist supported by one of Sidneys hands as the other pulled her shorts down.</p><p>Dropping her down gently, so she rested once again on the wood, Sidney dropped to his knees so he could remove the shorts entirely. As he slipped the shorts off her ankles, he planted wet kisses all the way along her leg, trailing up to her thighs. Using his hands, he gripped her thighs and spread them wider, moving his head between her as he deepened his kisses around her thigh. Charlotte felt the electric surge in her sensitive middle, raising her hand to grip onto a shelf for support as she felt a shiver down her body. Slowly, Sidney slid his tongue into her, starting slow and then getting faster and deeper. Charlotte screamed out in pleasure- throwing her head back and throwing her hips forward to make sure Sidney hit just the right spot. As she began to climax, Charlotte could feel something digging into her back but tried to ignore it. As Sidney dug even deeper with his tongue, Charlotte couldn’t help but startle back slightly from pleasure- knocking the shelf a little too hard and causing a book to fall forward and into her back. </p><p>“Sidney,” she said slightly breathlessly as she felt Sidney begin to trial kisses along her stomach, “there’s a book on my back,” she giggled.<br/>
Chuckling slightly, Sidney grabbed the offending book and laughed harder as he pulled it from behind Charlottes back and saw the leather cover, “the bible.”<br/>
“Do you think my mum knows? She would so totally do something like this to stop me getting some,” Charlotte laughed, “or it could be Hanky Panky... trying to stop our hanky Panky.”<br/>
“I think the worlds going to have to conspire a little harder to stop us,” Sidney winked, as he helped Charlotte down from the bookshelf.<br/>
“Let’s go to the bedroom,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“What’s wrong with the sofa? It’s less emotional,” Sidney said, his tall frame towering over her.<br/>
“The bedroom has better light and since we’re just friends I don’t have to be insecure about my body,” Charlotte said honestly but lightly enough for it to not be taken too seriously.<br/>
“Come on your beautiful,” Sidney protested, “You have nothing to be insecure about.”<br/>
“Okay,” Charlotte said, running a hand through her own hair, “that is just way too emotionally supportive and you just need to put that away.”<br/>
“Your ass is a little boney?”<br/>
“Much better,” Charlotte laughed.</p><p>Grabbing his hand, Charlotte led the way to her bedroom. Sidney was already naked when Charlotte stood him at the edge of her bed and pushed him down onto the king sized mattress. Climbing on top, she lowered herself so she could suck his bottom lip and Sidney slid his tongue into mouth. As they kissed, Charlotte couldn’t help but think. </p><p>“Are we getting too old for this?” Charlotte said between kisses.<br/>
“For sex?” Sidney asked, his hands travelling along her back and unclipping her black bra.<br/>
“For casual sex?” Charlotte asked as Sidney flipped her over, pulling off her bra and exposing her hard breasts.<br/>
“No, I think we’re good,” Sidney said, sliding his tongue back into her mouth and playing with her lips. </p><p>The thoughts immediately left her mind as Sidney’s hand gently massaged her hard breasts. Charlotte slid her hands over his shoulders and pulled him closer to her as he moved his head down her body and let his gaze wander to his hand, which cupped Charlottes breast.  He moved his head down slowly and put her bare nipple between his lips and sucked gently. Charlotte ran her fingers through his hair and after a few moments, she knew she needed to feel him. Pulling gently at his hair, she raised his head to hers and kissed him freely. She felt his thumbs running across her ribs, then touching the sides of her breasts, before reaching her nipples and they both groaned at the sensations surging through them.</p><p>Spreading Charlottes legs, Sidney positioned himself firmly between her and moved the tip of his hard cock to her opening and gently thrusted into her. Slowly, they moved their hips in unison to build up a rhythm. Moaning, he devoured the taste of her lips in his mouth, kissed her admiringly, and let his tongue slide into her mouth.  She returned the gesture and rubbed her hips against his as she felt his hard cock inside of her- thrust after thrust, after thrust. Charlotte could barely breath, but she groaned his name loudly and screamed yes as she felt his cock rub inside her and her body caught onto the waves of a climax.</p><p>Getting faster and faster, Charlotte couldn't think anymore and she exploded.  The waves of her climax were huge, but she couldn’t stop. She craved more. </p><p>Sliding her hands over his bare back, she gripped his butt and pushed him to her side. Charlotte instantly sat up and straddled him, adjusting herself on top of him so she could feel him inside her once again. Bouncing up and down on top of him, Charlotte was incredibly close to the edge again and she longingly lifted herself against his long and deep thrusts as Sidney pushed his hips up into her, again and again. His eyes were rolling back as he enjoyed the way Charlotte fit against him. Sidney hit all the right places inside of her. Moaning, both Charlotte and Sidney screamed yes’s into the air, as they came undone and waves of pleasure washed over them. </p><p>Catching her breath, Charlotte fell onto the bed next to him. Their chests moved up and down in fast movements. They could feel the heat radiating from the other as they quietly gasped for air. </p><p>“Again?”<br/>
“Again.”</p><p>And just like that, it started all over again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title:<br/>The Killers- Blowback</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pushing a naked Sidney down on his sofa, a pant-less Charlotte felt his hand on her hips as she straddled him. She lowered herself so she could bite his bottom lip before opening her mouth and taking his tongue into her mouth. Lost in the lust, Charlotte moved her lips from his and trailed her mouth down to his neck. She sucked gently on his skin until it was clear she would leave a mark in the crook of his neck later. </p><p>Sidney let his hand graze over her bottom and then slid his fingers into her slit from behind. He gently stroked Charlottes wet folds and pressed against her entrance. Not quite expecting it, Charlotte moaned into his neck as his touch sent an electric surge of pleasure along her spine and began to bend herself against him; instantly snapping her head up and diving her tongue into his mouth. Kissing him hard. </p><p>Feeling a craving for him, Charlotte moved her hips so that he would push harder against her wall. Within a few minutes, they both had memories of their last time playing in their heads and they could not hold back. As if he was reading her mind, Sidney shifted his hands slightly and moved Charlotte so that the tip of his cock slid into her wet entrance.  As his hands ran over her back and Charlottes finger through his hair, their bodies felt the heat rushing through their pulses and Charlotte moved her hips rhythmically to drive him deeper inside of her. Roughly moving her hand so they gripped his shoulder firmly, Charlotte felt Sidney thrust into he forcefully as they switched up positions. In no time, Charlotte felt the warm leather of the sofa on her back as Sidney hovered on top of her and pushed himself into her harder and deeper. Grabbing the back of his neck, Charlotte pulled him closer to her, their lips touched and they moaned in each other’s mouths as they felt an electric surge pulsating through their breathless bodies. </p><p>Sidneys muscles trembled under Charlottes fingers as he groaned and whispered her name onto her lips. He enjoyed the sensation he got as he felt Charlottes walls tighten around his throbbing cock- arousing him even more. Playing her like a guitar string, he pushed in and out with long, deep thrusts until they were  both ready to explode. Charlottes small body trembled slightly as she climaxed and she felt her body cave to the feeling of him inside of her. </p><p>Breathlessly, Charlotte laid on top of Sidney as they both caught their breath. She could hear the sound of his beating heart against her ear and enjoyed the weird sensation it gave her in the pit of her stomach. Once she caught her breath and her brain was no longer fogged with lust, Charlotte knew that if she stayed in his arms any longer, she would start to see this arrangement as something it wasn’t. It had always been a fine proposition that was crossing so many lines but Charlotte really didn’t want to ruin this.</p><p>Gently, she pushed her hand through her hair and sat up. Sidney following suit. </p><p>“This sofa is surprisingly wide,” Charlotte said, as she picked up her blouse from the ground and slide it over her arms.<br/>
“Can’t say I’ve paid it much attention before,” Sidney chuckled softly, taking in the way Charlotte flowed in that moment.<br/>
“I need to go home and have a shower,” Charlotte said, doing up the buttons of her blouse.<br/>
“You know,” Sidney said with a devilish smile, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear, “I have a great shower here.”<br/>
“Yes but if I have a shower here, I don’t think I’ll get very clean,” Charlotte laughed, before scrunching up her nose as she tried to picture it in her mind, “it doesn’t sound very safe.”<br/>
“What? Sex? Because I think we’re being safe,” Sidney joked.<br/>
“No stupid,” Charlotte laughed, gently hitting her hand into his chest, “sex in the shower. Water. Slipping. Nothing to support you. Sounds like a hazard.”<br/>
“I’ll have to prove you wrong some time,” Sidney said.<br/>
“Maybe,” Charlotte said, slipping on her other shoe. She stood up and picked the plans she had originally wanted to show Sidney and placed them under her arm, “just not today,” she said, pecking him on his head before leaving out the front door. </p><p>***</p><p>Charlotte slipped her keys into her jean jacket pocket and knocked on Sidneys door. After she got home and rushed to shower and change so she could go check in on the cars, she realised she couldn’t find her phone. Turning her bungalow upside down she practically sprinted to Sidneys (which was a good ten miles from hers), knowing it was the only other place she could have left it. </p><p>Smiling as she heard the door click and expecting to see his face, Charlotte looked up in confusion as an unfamiliar man opened the door.</p><p>“Oh,” Charlotte said, unable to hide the disappointment on her face, “I’m sorry, I think I have the wrong house,” Charlotte said, turning her head to check the door number.<br/>
“Who you looking for?” He asked with a smile, intrigued by the beauty on the door step.<br/>
“Mr Parker,” Charlotte said, certain she was in the right place.<br/>
“Sidney,” he called, smiling at Charlotte as he glanced over her quickly, “he was just on a business call. I’m his friend Babington,” he said warmly, holding his hand out to shake Charlotte’s, “and you are?”<br/>
Taking his hand in hers, Charlotte smiled, “I’m the chief mechanic for the Parker team. Charlotte.”<br/>
“Ah yes! I’ve heard a lot of things about you from the boys,” Babington laughed.<br/>
“Boys?”<br/>
“Crowe and Sidney,” Babington chuckled, reminiscing about the way both of them praised her in their owns ways- highlighting her brains and her beauty. Babington had to hold back a laugh as he recalled the single complaint he could remember hearing about her- she makes me get out of bed early and work too hard. That was the only complaint Crowe had.<br/>
“All good things I hope,” Charlotte said, moving into the house as Babington moved aside and gestured for her to enter.<br/>
“Id be lying if I said they were-“<br/>
“Charlotte?” Sidney said, following the trail of voices and walking towards the pair in the hallway. He was pleasantly surprised to see her, “did we have plans?” He pulled out his phone from his back pocket to check if he’d missed a message.<br/>
“No,” Charlotte said shyly, “we didn’t and I didn’t message you. That’s why I’m here actually, I think I forgot my phone here.”<br/>
“Why would it be here?” Babington asked, leaning his back against the wall in the hallway and turning his head towards Sidney with a smirk.<br/>
“Charlotte and I had this thing we had to sort out earlier,” Sidney shrugged casually, folding his arms over his chest and avoiding eye contact.<br/>
“I wanted to go over any last minute modifications before the race,” Charlotte said after a moment of silence, sensing a weirdness, “i brought them over this morning but I just can’t find my phone now. I checked at home but it’s not there.”<br/>
“Let’s have a look,” Sidney said, turning on his feet and moving into the living room where there had been a scattered mess of clothes just a few hours ago.<br/>
“Weren’t you in the office?” Babington asked cheekily as he watched Sidney look around the living room with Charlotte not too far behind him, “I’ve never known Sidney to not do business in the office- heck the one time I came to visit for a business meeting, he wouldn’t even take me out to dinner first, just went straight to the numbers.”<br/>
“Well times have changed,” Sidney said casually, “Charlotte where you do think you left it?” Sidney asked, glancing at Babington and seeing the cheeky look on his face. Sidney said a silent thank god that he hadn’t actually taken Charlotte to the bedroom that morning.<br/>
“I’m sure I had it on the sofa,” Charlotte said, moving forward and inspecting the tan, leather sofa to see if she could see anything.<br/>
“Check between the gaps of the sofa,” Sidney said, checking under the coffee table in the middle of the room, certain he had thrown something of Charlottes there earlier, “im normally alway losing stuff in between there- once found a £50 note.”<br/>
“Wish my sofa hid £50 notes in it,” Babington joked, standing by the tv stand and watching the two rummage around the cushions.<br/>
“No... but your house does cough it up in other ways your lordship,” Sidney smiled at Babington, reaching for his phone as it rung from his pocket. Checking the screen, he sighed, “I’ve got to take this. Babington help Charlotte out- maybe you’ll get lucky and find a tenner in there.” </p><p>Babington laughed as Sidney walked towards his office. He slowly rolled his eyes around the room to see if he could catch a glimpse of it. As he did, his eyes caught on Charlotte. He couldn’t deny that she was very pretty and he understood why Sidneys eyes lit up the way they had done when Sidney saw her in the hallway.</p><p>“So how long have you known Sidney?” Babington asked Charlotte, clearing his throat as he moved closer to her and looked through some of the cushions on the opposite end of the sofa.<br/>
“Umm... not too long. I met him once before I started at the garage but really I’ve just known him for the couple of months I’ve been working in Sanditon,” Charlotte said, too preoccupied to really think about what she was saying. </p><p>Babington turned to look at Charlotte as he threw the cushions onto the floor. The way she glanced up towards Sidney’s office every few minutes was not something Babington was familiar with. It wasn't with need or greed like it had been with other girls. Nor was it with the intent to eavesdrop or collect gossip. No, Babington thought, this look was one of excitement- like Charlotte wanted to just catch a glance of Sidney one more time in case she needed to leave. Rubbing the back of his neck, Babington could hear Sidney‘s rising voice from his office. He had a lot of questions to ask Sidney later as there was clearly more to this story than either was letting on.</p><p>“Just pull the seat cushions out,” Babington said, watching Charlotte push her hand between the bends of the sofa.<br/>
“What?” Charlotte said, huffing slightly as she stood up to look at him.<br/>
“The Seat cushions come off,” Babington smiled, pulling the end cushion off the three seater sofa first , “much easier this way.”<br/>
“I don’t get how it got lost,” Charlotte said, grabbing hold of the little cushions on the sofa and piling them on floor before she went to move the sofa seat.<br/>
“I think I can,” Babington said with a grin which made Charlotte blush slightly, “Why didn’t you just ring it?”<br/>
“It’s on silent,” Charlotte shrugged, “i remember putting it on that before I left home.”</p><p>Charlotte quickly pulled the seat up and threw it to the ground gently. She patted her hand around as if her hands would magically find what her eyes were missing but when her phone wasn’t under that particular seat,  she put the seat back on. Babington glanced over at her every so often and the look he gave her, made Charlotte feel like she had done something bad- yet it made her feel so good. Babington picked up the seat cushion in the middle as Charlotte placed the small cushions back on the sofa. He glanced at Charlotte before he looked down at the sofa and  saw a shiny gold and emerald, encrusted hoop on the sofa. When he noticed two shimmering studs in Charlottes ears, Babington instinctively moved his hands so he could push the earring under another cushion and picked up the phone that had slid next to it. He placed the seat back sharply. </p><p>“Here you go,” Babington said, handing her the phone.<br/>
“Oh Thank you!” Charlotte smiled, instinctively wrapping her arms around his neck in a friendly hug before releasing him and glancing at the screen for a second to see if she had missed anything important, “I’d probably be lost without this.”<br/>
“You’ve got to take better care of it next time then,” Babington smiled.<br/>
Charlotte looked at him awkwardly for a moment as she slipped the phone into her back pocket, “right, well I better be off. We have the big race tomorrow and I need to go check on the cars.”<br/>
“Do you want me to get Sidney? “ Babington asked.<br/>
“No, he’s busy. It’s fine,” Charlotte smiled and Babington could see she genuinely meant it without any underlying meaning.<br/>
“Lovely to meet you Charlotte,” Babington said, walking her to the door.<br/>
“Like wise Babington,” Charlotte said, looking back at him once before she left. </p><p>Looking back at the mess, Babington picked up a couple of the cushions on the floor before dropping himself onto the three seater sofa. He stuck his hand under one of the end sofa cushions so he could pull out the earring that had fallen there. Babington had had his own share of women rotating through his front door and he knew it was safer to ask Sidney before showing the earring to Charlotte- why cause tension that wasn’t needed. </p><p>“Where’s  Charlotte?” Sidney asked, walking back into the room and pausing at the sight of the mess.<br/>
“She had to go,” Babington said, carefully watching Sidney’s face for any reactions.<br/>
“Oh,” Sidney said, a little disappointed but hiding it well, “did she get her phone?”<br/>
“Yeah.”<br/>
“Good.”</p><p>Looking around the room for a minute as he bit his bottom lip, Sidney just rubbed the side of his temple before walking over to the armchair (which was the only seat in the room with all its cushions in tact) and dropping in it. For a few minutes, he just sat there. Babington noted how at peace he looked. </p><p>“So Charlotte,” Babington said, breaking the silence, “she’s nice.”<br/>
“Yeah. She’s great,” Sidney shrugged, leaning forward to pick up the tv remote from the coffee table.<br/>
“Are you two a thing now?” Babington asked.<br/>
“No, no, no. We’re just friends,” Sidney said quickly, scratching his head and putting the volume of the tv down so he could talk, “we are... messing around a little bit.”<br/>
“Like just sex?” Babington asked seriously.<br/>
“What else would it be?” Sidney said, almost laughing.<br/>
“So it’s like a friends with benefits kind of situation?” Babington questioned, sitting up on the sofa.<br/>
“Yeah but it’s just sex,” Sidney said casually.<br/>
“No it’s not,” Babington snorted, scratching his forehead as he recalled his friends dating history. Sidney had a Casanova reputation but the number of women he had actually been with was small. He had kept one night stands strictly for the their lost boys weekends when they’d travelled to countries where no one would know them and women had no way of getting back to them.<br/>
“Yes it is,” Sidney insisted.<br/>
“That kind of thing never works Sidney,” Babington said, shaking his head.<br/>
“No Charlottes different.”<br/>
“Charlotte can be whatever she wants Sid, but ultimately she’s a girl and your a boy. They all want the same thing,” Babington said seriously.<br/>
“I’ve been down that love hole before and I do not want to do it again. Charlotte’s emotionally unavailable. I’m emotionally damaged. This works,” Sidney said, trying to justify this arrangement to Babington- and in his head. Their was a part of him that knew he was still trying to justify it to himself and often Sidney reminded himself that Charlotte’s heart had been borrowed and his had been bruised. That’s why they both wanted a casual thing.<br/>
“Look Sidney, from my experience, ultimately it isn’t about who you want to spend your Friday doing on your sofa. It’s about who you want to spend your whole Saturday with- for the rest of your life. Who’s going to wake you up on a Saturday morning and become your muse for life,” Babington said.<br/>
“No need to get so serious Babington,” Sidney said, “this is just sex.”<br/>
“Sure,” Babington rolled his eyes.<br/>
“No emotions. No judgment. Simple sex,” Sidney said.<br/>
“Fine,” Babington said, “I’m going to go for a run.” </p><p>Getting up, Babington shook his head and began to walk towards the guest room where he was staying. A run would help stop him from wanting to smack the crazy out of Sidney. Babington knew too many people try and fail at arrangements like this. Heck, there were enough films out there explaining just how bad an idea this was, yet Sidney wasn’t in the mood to hear it- and Babington wasn’t in the mood to try.<br/>
Feeling warm metal in his hand as he hit the hallway, Babington turned back to look at Sidney. </p><p>“I almost forgot. I hid this from Charlotte,” Babington said, walking back into the room and handing Sidney the earring.<br/>
“Why?” Sidney asked, taking the earring in his hand and looking at it in confusion.<br/>
“Well it isn’t hers and I assumed you didn’t want her knowing about the other women in this arrangement,” Babington said.<br/>
“Babers, I’m not seeing any other women,” Sidney said firmly and clearly.<br/>
“Well it isn’t Charlottes earrings, she had two in when she got here unless you saw her wearing these when she was here this morning,” Babington said with a smirk as he folded his arms over his chest.<br/>
Sidney felt the heat rush to his cheeks, “I was rather... preoccupied then but they’re Charlottes. There’s no one else’s they can be and there’s no other reason for them to be in my sofa. No one else has even been in my place.”<br/>
“If you say so,” Babington said, turning and walking away.<br/>
“I say so,” Sidney shouted out even though Babington was no longer listening. </p><p>Sidney looked at the earring in the palm of his hand before clasping his fingers over it and sliding it into his pocket. He mentally noted he needed to give it to Charlotte when he saw her next.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for all your comments so far- I really appreciate them.</p><p>Title:<br/>The 1975- TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. My Own Soul’s Warning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Tom, what’s so urgent?” Charlotte said breathlessly. </p><p>It was madness in the pit downstairs as they prepared for their first qualifying race of the season (which started in 30minutes) and Charlotte was already rushed off her feet- making sure the 66 was running smoothly and that the 54 met all the required guidelines (this was the fourth time Charlotte was confirming this just today). Charlotte was being pulled in five different directions downstairs when the phone buzzed and Tom told her that she was needed urgently upstairs. Charlotte’s mind flashed with worry as she took the stairs two at a time and sprinted up to see him. </p><p> “Charlotte!” The children shouted in excitement as they saw her walk in in her navy blue overalls. The trio ran over to her and quickly consumed her in a hug. Charlotte bent her knees slightly so she could hug all three at once- her mind racing as she knew she would be needed downstairs urgently but also anxious from the panicked call from Tom. </p><p>Glancing up, Charlotte began to free herself from the children’s hugs as she noticed Tom eagerly speaking to a lady with fiery, ginger hair (who looked rather disdainfully at Tom’s face as he over expressively talked) and to a tall, slim, blonde man next to her. </p><p>“Tom,” Charlotte said, letting go of the children’s hands and moving towards him- desperate to know if something was wrong so she could try and fix it.<br/>
“Ah Chief Heywood,” Toms said, moving forward to grab Charlotte by her shoulders and draw her into the conversation, “let me introduce you to our patrons. They own the land this track is built on and have donated generously to our efforts for years now. Edward and Esther Denham.”<br/>
“Lovely to met you,” Edward instantly took Charlotte’s hand into his and kissed her knuckles. Charlotte looked at him with a forced smiled.<br/>
“They are Lady Denham’s niece and nephew- she’s the grand lady who gives the winning team the cup at the end of the South Coast Races,” Tom said proudly, “they were rather intrigued by the idea of a lady Chief.”</p><p>Charlotte stood there for a couple of minutes and tried to listen to the conversation and appear interested. Internally she was screaming, looking at her worn leather watch every two seconds as she felt precious time slipping away. As Edwards gaze grew more uncomfortably on her and Charlotte understood the conversation was nothing more than a waste of her time, she began to make her excuses. </p><p>“Tom, it really is rather busy downstairs and the team need me to go over any last minute checks. I need to make sure Stringers there and their medicals are okay and that Crowe is sober and that Fred has turned up to drive the 66,” Charlotte began to ramble.<br/>
“Oh Charlotte you just given me a kernel,” Tom said, rubbing his hands together in excitement, “why don’t we show them the pit- that’s where all the real excitement of a race takes place,” Tom turned around as he heard the squeals of his excited children, “though I do have the children,” he paused to think for a moment, “I know Charlotte, you take them down and Arthur will show them around. He’s down there with the wine anyway.” </p><p>Tom looked at Charlotte with such hope that she struggled to turn him down and reluctantly accompanied Esther and Edward down to the pit. As they walked down, Charlotte felt uncomfortable as Edward made various advances towards her- his innuendo filled conversations about car engines making it clear he only had one thing on his mind. And Charlotte wasn’t interested. </p><p>Walking into the garage and already feeling frustrated by the addition of two bodies in the already busy pit, Charlotte could barely hide her annoyance when she noticed a blonde haired, stilettoed woman standing in the middle of the workspace. Her white dress made her stand out from the crowd and Charlotte couldn’t help but hiding a laugh as she wondered what type of crazy woman would wear white around all this grease. </p><p>Before Charlotte could say anything about her not supposedly being in the pit, Edward walked over to her. </p><p>“Ah, Mrs Parker,” Edward said as he recognised the woman. </p><p>Charlotte felt an odd emotion stir in her as she heard the words. Mrs Parker. Sidney had told her she meant nothing many a times but somehow, and specifically in this moment, Eliza (and her name tied to Sidney’s) meant more than Charlotte cared to realise. </p><p>“Mr Denham,” Eliza turned to look at them with a plastered smile, “what a delight to see you both again.”<br/>
“What are you doing here?” Esther said, rolling her eyes at Eliza and moving as Eliza tried to give her a polite hug.<br/>
“It’s the first race. I couldn’t miss it,” Eliza said, brushing off Esthers behaviour.</p><p>As Edward made conversation with Eliza and Esther wandered off to get a better view of the track, Charlotte excused herself to join the pit crew. She was eager to look up and see if Sidney had seen Eliza there but knew it was not her place to make comment or even care. That was not part of their arrangement.</p><p>“What is she doing here?” Arthur asked Charlotte as he gulped on his glass of wine.<br/>
“How the hell am I supposed to know,” Charlotte said with more irritation than she should of before walking off- not in the mood. </p><p>As the call for the races was announced, Charlotte made her way to the front of the pit and stood between James Stringer and Leroy. She entirely forgot about the other People in the pit crew around her as the race commenced, the adrenaline rushed in and the pressure to prove herself kicked in. This was Charlottes first time officially running the team. She couldn’t screw it up. </p><p>It was thirty minutes into the race when Charlottes curiosity had finally gotten the better of her. The race had been running some time and both Crowe and Fred were leading on the table. Crowe was even clocking times faster than he had previously done on all of their test drives. Looking over her shoulder to the other end of the pit, Charlotte glanced at Sidney and felt a tinge of jealousy as she watched Eliza touch his arm and laugh at his side. She turned away sharply, unable to entirely stomach the view but she couldn’t help but glance back every few minutes. Charlotte was jealous of the closeness in which the two acted and the way people drew Eliza into a conversation as they spoke with Sidney. Sidney may have told Charlotte that Eliza wasn’t his wife any more, but that didn’t matter. People still treated Eliza like she was. </p><p>On the other side of the pit, Sidney felt his blood boil under his skin. Eliza had sunk her teeth into him and no matter how hard he tried to shake her, she wouldn’t leave him. Sidney wanted nothing more than to drag her away but he couldn’t afford to make a scene- it would cause a distraction and the team didn’t need a distraction during the race. All attention needed to be focused on winning. Sidney wanted to find Charlotte and talk with her. He had done ever since he saw her yesterday. He considered her a friend and although their arrangement promised no emotions and no commitments, Sidney wondered if a friendship could at least be amended into their pact. As he walked over to get a better view of the track, Sidney noticed how Charlotte slipped her petite frame between Leroy and Stringer and just like Charlotte, he too felt an emotion stir within him. Stringer alway seemed to find himself near Charlotte somehow, Sidney thought to himself. He felt his blood pressure rise as Stringer bent to whisper into Charlotte’s ears. Glancing at the pair periodically, Sidney found himself annoyed every time Stringer made her laugh or Charlotte touched Stringer- even if it was to just hit him in the chest jokingly. Sidney felt like he was drunk in jealousy. </p><p>As the race finished and the team celebrated the success of both their cars qualifying, everyone began to make plans to go out and celebrate. Sidney had quickly made an excuse to go to the office as he watched Charlotte jump into Stringers arms when their cars crossed the finishing line in first and third position. </p><p>The garage slowly began to empty as people made their plans to go. Charlotte offered to stay behind and finish up when it was just her and three other men from the pit crew left- she could tell they were eager to leave and get a drink. Stringer was finishing up with medical checks in the other room and Sidney was in the office. Charlotte was just locking up the tools when Eliza came up behind her, the sound of the stilettos echoing in the fairly empty garage. </p><p>“It’s Charlotte isn’t it?” Eliza said.<br/>
“Yes,” Charlotte replied sharply, groaning internally.<br/>
Eliza watched Charlotte move around the garage as she checked the tool stands before locking them up, “how are you finding your job here Charlotte?”<br/>
“It’s good,” Charlotte said, trying to keep her responses short and her tone calm, really not sure what Eliza was still doing here.<br/>
“And your employers. How do you find them?” Eliza asked.<br/>
“They are fine,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Oh what a relief,” Eliza sighed dramatically, her mouth forming a fake smile, “I’m glad to hear your happy because sometimes Sidney can make things uncomfortable.”<br/>
“Excuse me?” Charlotte asked. She knew she shouldn’t have taken the bait but she couldn’t help it.<br/>
“Oh you must have heard the rumours. It’s why our marriage never worked,” Eliza began to explain, “he’s alway had a wandering hand and I’ve heard it from the female delivery drivers, the secretaries, the women he’s had in his house.”<br/>
“I don’t think I’m following,” Charlotte said, turning to face Eliza and give her, her full attention.<br/>
“Sidney has a history of sleeping with the women he works with,” Eliza said lowly.<br/>
“Excuse me?”<br/>
“Have you never wondered why there are no woman here? Tom had too many harassment cases that he just stopped hiring women,” Eliza said nonchalantly.<br/>
“I didn’t know that,” Charlotte said in an almost whisper.<br/>
“I’m relieved to hear he hasn’t done that to you,” Eliza said, putting her hand on top of Charlotte’s and gently stroking it, “cheetahs and spots and all that- but I can’t seem to quit him.” </p><p>Charlotte felt like her skin was crawling at the feel of Eliza touching her but she was too paralysed from Elizas stinging words to move. </p><p>“Charlotte, could I have a quick word for a minute?” Sidney shouted over from the office. </p><p>Looking up at Eliza, who flashed Charlotte a tight smile, Charlotte dropped her hands to her side and excused herself. </p><p>“I don’t know why she is here but she doesn’t seem to be getting the message and leaving,” Sidney said, sensing that Charlotte was feeling uneasy. </p><p>Charlotte contemplated what she was going to say for a second. As his friend, she wanted to ask him if it was true. But the feeling in the pit of her stomach confused her. She felt disappointed to know she was just another woman on his list. And were they even really friends? They did behave like two friends. They shared their thoughts and had casual conversations but everything revolved around sex, it seemed. </p><p>“It’s fine,” was all Charlotte could manage.<br/>
Sidney looked at her for a moment but chose to brush over the odd look on Charlotte’s face, “Well Charlotte I just wanted to return this to you- I believe you left it at mine,” Sidney said, digging his hand into his pocket and pulling out the hoop earring.<br/>
Charlotte looked at it for a moment and felt a lump in her throat, before she managed to speak, “that’s not mine.”<br/>
Sidney looked at her in confusion, “what do you mean?”<br/>
“It’s not mine,” Charlotte repeated more loudly.<br/>
“But I haven’t had anyone else in my house,” Sidney said, scratching his head.<br/>
“I know my own earring Sidney,” Charlotte said as calmly as she could through gritted teeth, “that isn’t mine.”</p><p>The continuous questions felt like Sidney was throwing gasoline on her heart. She felt slightly humiliated but her brain told her she was being stupid for entertaining the stirring emotions. Charlotte couldn’t be jealous of another woman’s earring finding its way into Sidneys house could she, Charlotte thought. This was meant to be a no emotions, no strings attached arrangement. There was no room for her to get jealous- she simply promised she wouldn’t care and that was meant to be that. Yet her heart was betraying her. </p><p>“Do you want to do something tonight Charlotte? Celebrate the team win?” Sidney said with a cheeky smile.<br/>
“I cant actually,” Charlotte said, knowing she needed to keep some space between them for now otherwise she would crumble under the weight of her current feelings. And that just simply wouldn’t do.<br/>
“Plans?” Sidney asked curiously.<br/>
Looking out the glass walls of the office, Charlotte fumbled to find an excuse until she saw Stringer standing there and remembered his earlier offer, “Actually yes. I’m going out with a friend tonight.”<br/>
“A friend?” Sidney raised an eyebrow.<br/>
“A friend.”</p><p>The two kept their eyes locked on each other- trying to read the other’s face, until the sound of Eliza’s heels drew their attention. Sidney exhaled sharply as he took a seat behind the desk whilst Charlotte stood there, slightly awkwardly. </p><p>“Sidney dear, how much longer are you going to be,” Eliza groaned walking into the room.<br/>
“I better go,” Charlotte said quietly, beginning to walk towards the door.<br/>
Eliza walked towards the desk and as Charlotte grabbed the handle of the door she heard Eliza gasp, “oh there’s my earring!” </p><p>So much for no other woman Charlotte thought as she felt the knot in her stomach tighten.</p><p>As Charlotte walked away, it took everything in Sidney to not run straight after her and clear up the entire mess. He got up out of his seat and followed her with his eyes. She was walking rather quickly and when he saw her chatting to Stringer, he felt that familiar twinge in his stomach. </p><p>“Sidney are you even listening to me,” Eliza said in irritation.<br/>
“Not really,” Sidney retorted, watching as Charlotte grabbed her coat and began to walk off out the garage with Stringer. Sidney sighed in frustration, turning to look back at Eliza, “what do you want?”<br/>
“Sidney I don’t know how to make it more clear that it’s you,” Eliza said firmly, “it’s always been you.”<br/>
“I’m really not in the mood for this,” Sidney said, going to grab his keys off the desk and beginning to walk out the office but turning on his heels to look at Eliza, “what did you say to Charlotte out there?”<br/>
“Charlotte?” Eliza asked, acting dumb, “who’s that?”<br/>
“You know who,” Sidney said sternly, balling his hands into fist beside him.<br/>
“Oh yes. That was nothing,” Eliza said, walking up to Sidney and running her fingers up his chest, “just a little girl talk.”</p><p>Sidney looked at her with annoyance and knew he needed to get out of there before he did something he’d regret. </p><p>“Get the message Eliza. I’m not interested.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title:<br/>The Killers- My Own Soul’s Warning</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Get Back In Line</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You’ve been avoiding me,” Sidney said, as he watched Charlotte trying to sneak out of the garage. </p><p>It was late on a Wednesday. </p><p>Sidney had tried to get in contact with Charlotte to explain what happened with Eliza over the rest of the weekend but Charlotte either sent him to voicemail or messaged that she was busy. He tried to not take it to heart. He tried to play it off casually. But inside he was burning. It wasn’t just about the sex for him any more- seeing Eliza with Charlotte and the need to protect her so fiercely  on race day confirmed that for him. He just couldn’t say anything. He didn’t want to risk losing their relationship- not even if it just remained as it was. </p><p>What made him stir even more over the weekend was the idea of Charlotte and Stringer. Sidney kept imagining Stringer with Charlotte and making her laugh like he did at the race. Sidney wondered if Charlotte was letting Stringer kiss her like she let him. If Charlotte was letting Stringer go even further like she let him. Was it a serious thing between the two of them?</p><p>Sidney was in the office early on Monday morning, hoping to catch her. He knew Charlotte came in early and wanted to straighten things out with her before everyone else was around. His heart sank when he watched her walk into the garage with Stringer besides her and her soft laugh filling the air. It seemed whenever he tried to speak to her over the course of the next two days, someone or something alway got in the way. </p><p>“Why would I be avoiding you?” Charlotte asked with a smile. </p><p>It was true. On her part anyway. Charlotte had been avoiding Sidney. Her feelings were stronger than she had anticipated and she was learning that her heart was not as black and white as she imagined. There was a lot of grey area. Charlotte wasn’t sure how to behave anymore. She enjoyed what they had. The sex was good. Their friendship was good. Why would she jeopardise that? She didn’t want to lose Sidney. </p><p>But could she lose something that was never hers to lose in the first place? </p><p>“I don’t know but you walk away a lot when I come into the room,” Sidney said.<br/>
“Get over yourself Sidney- I have a lot of work that doesn’t evolve around you,” Charlotte tried to joke, her eyes trailing him as she ogled over the sharpness of his rolled up suit shirt and trousers, “your dressed very fancy for the garage today, by the way.”<br/>
“Meetings all day,” Sidney laughed, “Look the whole Eliza thing,” Sidney rubbed the back of his neck as he tried to work his words out carefully, “shes crazy. I still have no idea why she was here besides to give me a crazy headache.”<br/>
“Sidney you don’t have to justify anything to me,” Charlotte said, trying to act as causal as possible, “no problems. No complaints. No emotions remembers,” Charlotte repeated more for herself.<br/>
“right,” Sidney said, stuffing his hands in his pocket and feeling a slight sting as the words rolled off her tongue, “so.”<br/>
“So?” Charlotte said raising an eyebrow at him.<br/>
“Wanna help me practice some tennis in my office?” Sidney asked, leaning against the glass frame.<br/>
“I don’t know,” Charlotte laughed, “it’s got a bit of a peeping hole,” pointing at the two glass walls (one already covered whilst the other remained open).<br/>
“That’s why we have blinds,” Sidney said, tugging blindly on a string to try and be sexy whilst he pulled the blind down but it just made him look stupid- causing Charlotte to burst out in a laugh.<br/>
“Your back swing definitely needs some work,” Charlotte said,walking over to the office, “rude of me to not help really.” </p><p>As soon as Charlotte was in the room, Sidney had the blinds down and was pulling her into him. His hot, hard body pressed against hers and his hands dug into her curls. He pushed his soft, lips hard against her mouth. His mouth demanded more- he had missed her more than even he had realised. </p><p>Charlotte let out a slight gasp as their tongues intertwined and reached her hands out to clutch onto his upper arms. She craved him but not with the lust that usually drove her. </p><p>Charlotte moved her lips as best she could with Sidney’s- both of them fighting to take in every inch of the other. </p><p>“Sofa?” Sidney asked, pulling back so he pull off his shirt.<br/>
“That’s tiny. We fell on the floor last time we tried it there,” Charlotte said, unbuttoning her overalls.<br/>
“Well,” Sidney began, looking around the room as he undid the belt of his pants, “the desk is the biggest thing in here.”<br/>
Charlotte looked at it thoughtfully, before nodding her head, “we could make it work.” </p><p>Kissing her softly, Sidney slowly backed Charlotte into the desk. He could feel her hands digging into his arms and felt a deep longing of desire turn into passion. Feeling her lips with his mouth, Sidney gently pulled Charlottes lower lip between his and enjoyed the taste of her on his lips. Deepening their kiss, Sidney slid his hands down to Charlottes butt and lifted her slightly so she was sat on the edge of the desk. Pushing her back as he kissed her more passionately, Sidney rested one hand on Charlottes bare thigh and used the other to push the files on the desk onto the floor with a loud bang. </p><p>“Isn’t Tom going to be annoyed about that?” Charlottes laughed between kisses, lowering her back onto the cold wood. </p><p>Sidney laughed as Charlotte feigned outrage. Slowly he ran his lips over her shoulder to her neck - her skin tasted so sweet.</p><p>"Mmhhh ..." He hummed, “When I tell him it’s because I was sleeping with you on the table I think he’ll be fine with it,” Sidney joked.<br/>
“And what do you think he’ll say about the fact that you did me on his desk? His place of work?” Charlotte asked, trying to be serious.<br/>
“He’ll say, well done Sidney! I knew you had it in you. You’ve always been better looking than me and had more muscles- it’s good you finally put them to use,” he mused and Charlotte burst into a fit of giggled.<br/>
“Good to know your so humble,” Charlotte said, kissing his neck. </p><p>Sidney laughed against her skin as he began to place gentle kisses along Charlottes neck. His fingertips slowly slid down from her collarbone, along her back and he unclipped her purple bra. Sidney’s touch sent electric impulses all over her body and as he sucked on her neck, Charlotte let out soft moans. Running her fingers through his hair, Charlotte gently lifted Sidneys face to hers and opened her mouth so she could suck the skin over his pulse point between her lips. </p><p>Trailing her lips back up to his mouth, Charlotte hungrily crashed her lips into his. Sidney dipped his tongue into her mouth with a response just as eager as Charlottes. Groaning, he began to slowly lick the inside of her lips before searching for her tongue and wrapping himself with her.</p><p>Charlottes hands travelled down to Sidneys waist. She pulled at his boxers and quickly pulled them down with need. Unable to wait any more, Charlotte grabbed Sidney by the shoulders and pulled him down so he was touching her. Reacting to her needs, Sidney slid his cock between her legs and gently began to thrust into her. Sidney was breathless as he felt her body tighten and her moans in his ear. Charlotte shivered with pleasure underneath him, moving her hips insync with him. The waves of their orgasm built as Sidney pushed deep, long thrusts into her. As they both climaxed, they remained still in their positions for a few minutes to catch their breaths. </p><p>Getting off of her first, Sidney grabbed his boxers off the floor and began to slip his clothes on casually. </p><p>“That was fun,” Sidney said casually, fully aware that he was just trying to make small talk so he could have a couple more minutes with her.<br/>
“Yep,” Charlotte said, hooking up her bra and walking over to the spot where she had dropped her overalls, pulling them up quickly.<br/>
“So,” Sidney said, zipping up his trouser, and trying to keep his tone causal, “you and Stringer.”<br/>
“Me and Stringer what?” Charlotte said, absentmindedly as she searched for her other shoe.<br/>
“Your like... your like,” Sidney tried to find the suitable word.<br/>
“Your going to have to be more specific than that I’m afraid Sidney,” Charlotte said, dropping into the small, two seater sofa and putting on her newly found shoes.<br/>
“Your into him,” Sidney almost whispered.<br/>
“I’m what?” Charlotte said, finally looking up at him in confusion.<br/>
“Your into Stringer,” Sidney said more confidently.<br/>
“What?” Charlotte said, her shoulders dropping as she laughed, “no I’m not.”<br/>
“But you went home with him on Saturday- after the race,” Sidney said, doing the buttons up of his shirt and sitting in the armchair opposite her.<br/>
“I went to the pub with him and the rest of the crew,” Charlotte smiled, “I’m not into Stringer. Not that it’s any of your business, but he’s just a friend.”<br/>
Sidney looked at her in confusion, “but why?”<br/>
“Why?” Charlotte laughed.<br/>
“Yeah why? Isn’t he a catch?” Sidney said. There was a small voice in his head telling him to stop talking but his tongue seemed to disagree. “He’s a great guy isn’t he? he’s good looking. I’ve heard he’s a runner so he’s got stamina. He’s a doctor. He’s funny.”<br/>
“Why don’t you date him then?” Charlotte giggled.<br/>
“Because he’s so clearly into you,” Sidney said, his words almost catching in his throat.<br/>
“He’s got a girlfriend Sidney- I met her on Saturday,” Charlotte shrugged, “plus... well he’s not really my type.”<br/>
“What is your type?” Sidney asked, sitting up in the armchair with intrigue. Would he be her type?<br/>
“Not something I’m thinking about because I’m not looking for commitment right now,” Charlotte said, her eyes shuffling on the ground as if she were looking for something, “anyways, I better get going.” </p><p>Grabbing her handbag from the end of the sofa, Charlotte patted down her hair with her hands quickly before she started making her way to the door. She glanced at the mess on the floor for a moment and then looked back at Sidney. </p><p>“Your going to have to clean that mess up,” Charlotte said, tilting her head towards the ground.<br/>
“It’s alright, Tom will understand it when i tell him it occurred during the heat of passion,” Sidney joked.<br/>
“Tell him that and I’m packing a bag and moving immediately,” Charlotte laughed.<br/>
Sidney looked at Charlotte for a moment and took in her smile, he felt his heart racing in his chest, “But I don’t want you to go anywhere,” Sidney said seriously, staring at Charlottes eyes.<br/>
“Then you better clean it up,” Charlotte smiled. </p><p>And just like that, Charlotte was gone and Sidney knew, this just wasn’t going to work as it was anymore. He didn’t want half measures any more. He wanted the real thing. And he wanted it with Charlotte.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title:<br/>The Kinks- Get Back In Line</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. I Don’t Owe You Anything</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sidney propped his feet up on the coffee table as he settled into the sofa in Toms office and began reading the newspaper. </p><p>The garage was filled with chatter and as hard as Sidney tried to focus on the words in the paper, his eyes kept trailing over towards Charlotte. It had been almost a week since Sidney had mentally decided that he needed to talk to Charlotte about their arrangement. His feelings for her were growing and he was no longer satisfied with just sleeping together. He wasn’t sure, exactly what he wanted, but he knew he wanted to try for more because every time he thought of Charlotte, she was a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in the town of his mind. However, every time he took Charlotte aside to talk to her or turned up at her place, she would bewitch him and as they spent hours pleasuring each other, time slipped away from him and he just couldn’t bring it up. </p><p>“Sidney,” Tom said, walking into the office and straight to his table, snapping Sidney out of his thoughts, “I was actually hoping to catch you. The investors are calling me up asking me for a break down of the financials. The board are asking for a meeting as they’ve heard rumours of a new member. And our suppliers are chasing me up.”<br/>
“A new board members?” Sidney asked, folding his newspaper and chucking it onto the coffee table, “there were no positions on the board for a new member?”<br/>
“I think I received a letter about it a few weeks ago from the lawyers but I can’t find anything on this desk,” Tom said, looking through the piles of paper on his table.<br/>
“I told you, you should get a secretary,” Sidney laughed, picking up his cup of coffee from the coffee table and taking a sip.<br/>
“Are you sure you picked everything up when you knocked things off the desk the other day?” Tom asked seriously.<br/>
Sidney chocked on his coffee as memories of him and Charlotte came rushing back to him and he tried his best to keep his composure, “yep. Fairly certain”<br/>
“how you managed to knock the contents of the entire table, is still something I don’t understand,” Tom said as he picked up a pile of envelopes.</p><p>Sidney just raised his eyebrows and returned to sipping his coffee- trying to hide the red flush of his face. </p><p>“Sidney, how is Charlotte?” Tom asked, sitting down in the armchair.<br/>
“What?”<br/>
“You see Charlotte, how is she?” Tom asked.<br/>
“Why?” Sidney asked hesitantly.<br/>
“Well, some of the investors have been asking a lot of questions about her and I was thinking of inviting her to our fundraising gala on Friday,” Tom said.<br/>
“Why are they interested in Charlotte?” Sidney asked curiously, “they never usually care about the engineers.”<br/>
“Oh some of them have been interested- no doubt because she’s a woman in power,” Tom smiled, “Edward Denham has taken a particular interest in her. I think perhaps, some sparks may fly between those two.”<br/>
“Edward?” Sidney asked, feeling his heart quicken and his temper rise, “you’ve heard of his reputation Tom. We can’t let that happen.”<br/>
“We can’t?” Tom laughed, “Sidney, have you heard of women’s rights. We can’t tell Charlotte who she can and can’t see.”<br/>
“Tom I’m not suggesting that,” Sidney sighed, trying to calm himself, “I’m simply saying that Edward has a bad history with women and we don’t want someone we know wrapped up with that reputation. It’s bad enough our company is associated with him.”<br/>
“Sidney, do I need to remind you that his aunt makes us a large donation every year and that we need to keep their family on side,” Tom said.<br/>
“Yes but at what cost Tom?” Sidney said, frustratedly dropping his cup onto the table.<br/>
Looking at Sidney blankly for a moment, Tom said, “never mind. I have a lot of stuff I need to get on with,” </p><p>Sidney watched Tom move around the office in a flustered state. Between the additional investment meetings in London, his numerous meetings with his divorce lawyers as he tried to reach an agreement and how often he liked to find any excuse to spend an extra few hours with Charlotte, Sidney hadn’t really given Tom much attention- and Tom did not work well on a long leash. The last time Sidney had given Tom this much space, he returned to find their London home had been remortgaged as well as Trafalgar house. It had cost Sidney half of his savings and a lot of negation to get everything back. </p><p>Looking up at Tom, Sidney clenched his jaw as he recognised the look flushing Toms face. </p><p>“Tom are you okay?” Sidney asked.<br/>
“Yes of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Tom said quickly and immediately Sidney knew he was being defensive.<br/>
“Tom what’s wrong?” Sidney said, raising an eyebrow at Tom.<br/>
“Nothings the matter,” Tom rushed to say, “it’s fine. Everything will be fine.”<br/>
“Tom, I’ve known you since you were five. What’s the problem?” Sidney said sternly.</p><p>Tom looked at Sidney flustered. He ran his hand over his desk as he tried to hid his face from Sidney and plaster on a strong front. Tapping his knuckle on his desk, Tom took a deep breath and ran one hand through his hair to by time. </p><p>“Well you see... Sidney,” Tom began carefully, “I did try my very best. And I did keep an eye on the situation. And I did try to-“<br/>
“Tom, what’s the point?” Sidney said, rubbing his temple as his mind ran wild with possibilities. He knew how Tom could get and he just wondered what trouble he’d gotten into now.<br/>
“Sidney it isn’t my fault,” Tom said loudly and defensively.<br/>
“What did you do Tom?” Sidney gritted, his temper raising quickly as Tom tried to stall.<br/>
“Well you see Sidney, there was a lot of paper work and it just got away from me and I just lost track of it and then,” Tom paused and began to lower his voice, “ I lost count of the payments.”<br/>
“You lost count of what payments?” Sidney said, getting up from his chair and walking towards the desk.<br/>
“A few people,” Tom muttered.<br/>
“A few people?” Sidney shouted, “how many Tom?”<br/>
“Not many... maybe five or six?” Tom shrugged.<br/>
“Five or six people?” Sidney asked angrily, looking at Tom for clarification.<br/>
“Companies,” Tom coughed out as he looked away and tried to pull the red stamped invoices away from Sidneys view.<br/>
“Companies?” Sidney shouted, “companies? Tom we can’t afford to not pay the companies. They keep us in business.” </p><p>Furious, Sidney snatched the invoices from Tom and his eyes grew wider as he saw the number of zeros increase on each invoice. Checking the headers of each invoice, Sidney noticed that they were loans from banks being recalled, from supplier demanding pay and from their lawyers discussing the cost of legal action being taken against them. </p><p>“Tom this can’t be right,” Sidney gulped.<br/>
“We can sort it Sidney,” Tom fumbled.<br/>
“Tom, you have not paid our suppliers in five months. We have more money being drained out than coming in. Sponsors have with drawn and I’m pretty certain we’ve used up all the money in our account and maxed out our loans, so we won’t be able to pay our workers,” Sidney said, trying to remain calm but feels the anger bounce I’m his fingertips as he tightened his hands around the invoices.<br/>
“I was trying to fix it myself,” Tom said quietly.<br/>
“And where has all the money gone from our investors and patrons?” Sidney asked, rubbing his forehead.<br/>
“Well I made a few investment deals and interest is always so high,” Tom stumbled over his words as he tried to explain it all to Sidney.<br/>
“You gambled the money away,” Sidney spat.<br/>
“No-“<br/>
“You gambled the money away,” Sidney sighed, “your going to have to work that gala well Tom because we’re going to need nothing short of a miracle to raise these kinds of funds.” </p><p>Dropping the invoices onto the table, Sidney rubbed the side of his temple as he wondered what else Tom had been hiding amongst the mess. Sidney hadn’t looked in detail but he knew enough to mentally begin to work out which personal assets he could sell in order to pay back some of the debt that had been raised. As he began to work out a strategy, Sidney’s phone vibrated in his overall pocket. As he looked at the screen, he felt his pent up anger over flow and he threw his phone into the sofa. </p><p>“Ugh,” Sidney growled in frustration.<br/>
“Is this a bad time for me to offer some help?” Tom said shyly, noticing the twitch in Sidneys forehead.<br/>
“If you can get a crazy woman to stop making sudden demands of insanity, then be my guest Tom,” Sidney said through gritted teeth.<br/>
“Eliza?” Tom asked.<br/>
“Yes Tom. There’s no other person I’m divorcing,” Sidney said with a sharp exhale.<br/>
“Sorry Sidney,” Tom said nervously, “what is she demanding?”<br/>
“Some stupid divorce settlement and now half of my shares in this team- not that there’s going to be much left at this rate,” Sidney grunted, he turned away from Tom and walked over to the window so he could look out into the garage. His eyes immediately found Charlotte and he watched her laugh and work on the engine of one of the cars with a couple of the other mechanics. Instantly feeling his heart steady and calm, Sidney exhaled, “Eliza said she’d sign the papers once and for all, if I gave the marriage one more chance. One year. If at the end of that I still wanted to leave, she wouldn’t protest.”<br/>
“That’s excellent Sidney,” Tom said eagerly, rubbing his hands together, “you’ve loved her since you were 15. And despite everything you always found your way back to her.”<br/>
“No Tom,” Sidney whispered, staring at Charlotte.<br/>
“why not Sidney? You love her and...oh,” Tom clapped his hands together in excitement, “she’s always wanted to invest her money into something- she could invest it in here. She could get us out of this financial bind.”<br/>
“For god sake, no Tom!” Sidney shouted, reluctantly tearing his eyes away from Charlotte and turning to look at Tom. Exhaling, he steadied his voice, “no Tom. I’m not the same boy any more.” </p><p>Shoving his hands into his pocket, Sidney let the words soak into the room. It was true. He had loved Eliza since he was boy and despite the number of times she broke his heart, he always went back to her- that was until she cheated on him and he found her in bed with another man, a week after his good friends funeral. He knew she wouldn’t change and even if she did. Even if she somehow turned back into the girl that he cherished once, he wasn’t that boy anymore. </p><p>He was a man. </p><p>A man with a direction and life that no longer matched Eliza’s puzzle pieces.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks again for all the comments and feedback. I really appreciate it :)</p><p>Title:<br/>The Smiths- I Don’t Owe You Anything</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Cross Your Mind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlotte had her reading glasses on and was scrolling through the internet when she heard her front door knock. </p><p>Shutting the screen of her laptop- mentally noting where she had found the car parts she needed, Charlotte pulled a nightgown over her silk night dress and went to see who it was. </p><p>“Sidney?” Charlotte said in confusion as she opened her door and saw him looking around her street, “what are you doing here? It’s almost 11 o’clock at night.”<br/>
“I just got back from London,” Sidney began, his shoulders dropping as he relaxed looking at her, “I’ve had a very long and tedious day and I was kind of hoping you’d let me in.”<br/>
“Are you making a booty call?” Charlotte laughed.<br/>
“Without sounding like a complete asshole, yes. This is a booty call,” Sidney smiled weakly. </p><p>Pressing her lips together so she could stop herself from laughing out loud entirely, Charlotte moved aside so Sidney could come in. As soon as she had granted him permission to enter, Sidney took her face in the palm of his hands and kissed her passionately. He kicked the door with his foot and once he heard it bang shut, he lifted Charlotte up by the waist. Charlotte responsively wrapped her legs around Sidney’s waist and could feel the familiar heat radiating from his body. </p><p>“Let’s just be conventional and do this on a bed,” Charlotte laughed into Sidney’s mouth as they kissed.<br/>
“Works for me,” Sidney said, carrying her to her bedroom. </p><p>Dropping Charlotte down onto her bed, Sidney didn’t even bother to undo the buttons of his shirt and just pulled it off over his head and threw it across the room. Climbing on top of Charlotte, his hands closed around her waist as he pushed her back onto the mattress and devoured her lips with his- curling his tongue with hers and gently moving his lips over hers. Their lips intertwined and Charlotte moaned softly, as she greedily returned his kiss. Charlottes fingers reached up into Sidney’s hair and she felt her body rubbing against his as she craved more. </p><p>Sidney tugged at the thin tie of Charlottes night gown and quickly undid it with his hands. Slipping the soft silk off her shoulders, he quickly moved to plant wet kisses along her neck and sucked on the pulse point under the soft skin of her neck. Charlotte dropped her head back against her pillow, feeling his bulge harden in between her thighs and feeling herself get wetter as he ran his hands along her thighs. Charlottes night dress was already quite short and with just a slight touch, Sidney had his hand firmly planted on Charlottes ass- smiling into her skin as he realised she had no underwear on. </p><p>Charlotte ran her fingertips down from his hair, along the muscles of his back and over his twitching abs as she brushed over them- the need to undress him was overwhelming. Their hungry lips searched for each other’s as Sidney deepened their kiss and they both moaned into each other’s mouths. With his tongue caressing hers, Charlottes shaking hands unbuckled his belt and undid the button and zip of his navy blue trousers. Breaking their kiss, Charlotte pushed them down, his boxers following, and Sidney quickly kicked them off before climbing back on top of Charlotte. He grabbed the spaghetti string of her night dress and pushed it down her shoulders until he bare breasts were exposed. Sidney, gently ran his finger over her nipple; groaning outwardly as he felt her hips begin to move slowly below him. </p><p>Charlotte was eager. She pushed Sidney back by his shoulders and once he was lying on his back on her bed, she flipped her leg over his waist and began to ride him. She slowly moved her hips up and down and his hard cock slide into her wet, warm sweet spot over and over again. Sidney’s hands found her butt and he helped her move in rhythm with him. Charlottes walls tightened around him and they could both feel the intensity between them. Charlottes eyes closed. Her body began to shudder uncontrollably as she groaned outwardly and felt the waves of her orgasm wash over her. </p><p>As Charlotte came undone, Sidney flipped her over onto her back. He kept his body firmly pressed against hers. Their heavy breaths mingled in the air and Sidney pushed his lips onto hers to kiss Charlotte deeply- licking his tongue over her lips and sinking it into her mouth. </p><p>Still inside of her, their kiss aroused Sidney even more and he drove himself deeper inside her- feeling her warmth as he moaned. Trailing his hands over hers, Sidney intertwined their hands together beside her head as they began to groan louder from pleasure. His thrusts got deeper and harder. Charlotte screamed softly in his ear and could hear him whisper her name gently into the air as he got closer to coming- thrusting harder and harder. </p><p>As they both came, Sidney fell onto the bed besides Charlotte and for a few minutes they remained still, their heavy breaths vibrating through the room before Sidney broke the silence. </p><p>“Oh, I forgot to say, Tom wanted you to come to this stupid gala thing we have tomorrow,” Sidney said as he caught his breath.<br/>
“What gala?” Charlotte asked, turning her head in her pillow and looking over at him.<br/>
“This one for the investors and patrons. We basically invite a ton of rich people to give us money so we can blow it all on fast cars,” Sidney laughed, sliding out of the bed and beginning to search for his boxers on the ground.<br/>
“Why did Tom ask you to ask me to come?” Charlotte asked, pushing her head up on her pillow.<br/>
“Apparently you’ve created quite a buzz amongst them and they were interested in meeting you. Normally we don’t invite any of the pit crew- mainly because it’s a snooze fest, but Tom thought you’d be good- and help bring in some more money and, although I normally don’t care about the money, I think it could help,” Sidney said, pulling up his boxers.<br/>
“Tomorrow?” Charlotte said, biting her bottom lip.<br/>
“Yeah. Can you come?” Sidney asked, stopping the search for his clothes so he could look at her.<br/>
“I don’t know,” Charlotte sighed.<br/>
“I know it’s last minute and it’s going to be tedious and can feel like needles are being stabbed in your eyes-“<br/>
“Great sales skills Sidney,” Charlotte laughed.<br/>
“But I’d really like-“ Sidney began but cut himself off as soon as he realised how overly keen he sounded, “I’d really appreciate if you could come, so could you? Please?” He stopped short of adding the words for me.<br/>
Charlotte looked at his face for a minute, pondering over his words and then sighed, “but whatever will I wear on such short notice?” </p><p>Sidney burst out in a laugh. Shaking his head and smiling. He looked around the room and could see his shirt and trousers lying on the floor but for a moment he just stood there in the middle of Charlottes bedroom. He wanted to relish in the extra few minutes he could get before she told him he had to go. He liked the energy of her house. The feeling of having her near him. The way that his mind eased around her. </p><p>“You know I’m really happy to just keep doing this with you,” Charlotte said as she sat up in her bed, pulling the duvet up with her to cover her breasts and drawing Sidney out of his thoughts, “but I’m also happy to listen if you want to talk.”<br/>
“Why do you think I need to talk?” Sidney asked curiously, sitting at the edge of her bed in just his boxers.<br/>
“You came here telling me you had a hard day and then literally used sex to forget your problems. Doesn’t sound very healthy to me,” Charlotte said, giving him a reassured smile.<br/>
“My physical exam would argue otherwise,” Sidney smirked.<br/>
“And then you make inappropriate jokes about it,” Charlotte giggled. She looked at him with soft eyes, “I’m here to talk if you ever just want a friend.”<br/>
“Are we friends? Does that make it as part of our pact?” Sidney asked seriously, searching Charlottes eyes.<br/>
“We’re friends,” Charlotte said, “like we said, we’d stay friends no matter what happened. We’re friends first- always, and friends talk Sidney.”<br/>
“And would you want to listen as I moan about my problems?” Sidney asked seriously, he knew Charlotte wasn’t Eliza but he couldn’t escape the thought of Eliza today. The way that his words rubbed her up the wrong way, no matter what Sidney said. She never wanted to listen to him.<br/>
“I’d always listen Sidney,” Charlotte smiled.</p><p>Sidney rubbed the stubble on his face and contemplated whether or not to talk to Charlotte about his day in London. Would she feel some sort of way about Eliza? Would it put her off him if he moaned about his divorce proceedings? Or about Toms stupidity and the fact that he’d had to traipse around London to try and get a bank loan (all his applications and pleas rejected)? Yet Sidney really wanted her to know. He wanted to share his thoughts with her. He wanted to hear her reassured tone telling him it would all be okay- because somehow he felt she would make it all okay. </p><p>“Will you tell anyone what I tell you?” Sidney asked, raising an eyebrow at Charlotte.<br/>
Charlotte laughed quietly, “No. You don’t share your friends secrets. I cross my heart I won’t tell no other.”<br/>
“Good Heywood,” Sidney said, “I have a reputation to uphold and I don’t want you telling people I’m going soft.”<br/>
Charlotte smiled, “your secret is safe with me.” </p><p>Sidney crawled up the bed and sat besides Charlotte. He leaned his back against the white head board and rested his head back gently. Closing his eyes for a moment he exhaled tiredly.</p><p>“I went to London this morning to meet my divorce lawyer. Eliza still wants to drag this out,” Sidney said, peering out the corner of his eyes to see how Charlotte would react.<br/>
“Why?” Charlotte asked curiously, “you’ve rebuffed her at every attempt, so why does she want to stay? Plus she doesn’t have the nicest things to say about you.”<br/>
“What did she say about me?” Sidney asked before he’d even thought about it, moving forward so he could clearly see Charlottes face.<br/>
Charlotte looked down at her hands in her lap, “she just... she said you made it a habit to sleep with the women you work with. That Tom didn’t hire women because it was basically easier to be accused of sexism than to deal with sexual harassment claims. And that I should be very cautious of you.”<br/>
“Did she really say that?” Sidney asked, shaking his head in irritation.<br/>
“Yep,” Charlotte said, raising her eyebrows and pursing her lips together to form a thin line.<br/>
“And did you... do you believe her?” Sidney asked cautiously, not entirely sure he wanted to know the answer.<br/>
“Well between that and the earring-“<br/>
“I still have no idea how that got in my sofa,” Sidney rushed to defend himself.<br/>
“Between that and the earring, I was a little confused about where we stood but once I thought about it, I thought, it didn’t really matter because I like this arrangement we have going. It isn’t really my place to have any feelings about you and other women,” Charlotte said, carefully choosing her words. </p><p>Sidney sat there for a few minutes in silence and let the words stir in the air. He felt bruised. Charlotte liked sleeping with him but yet again she made it clear she didn’t reciprocate the feelings he had begun to develop. He wanted her to know that he did care how she felt. He wanted her to know he didn’t care for Eliza or any other woman- not seeing anyone since they had first met  a couple of months ago, because he couldn’t get her out of his mind. She had plagued all his thoughts and dreams- and he truly didn’t mind (craving her when she wasn’t in them). </p><p>“Eliza doesn’t like it when there are things she can’t have. Even if she doesn’t want them. She likes the idea she can drop and pick things up as she wants. Toys. Jobs. People. Everything is disposable to her,” Sidney said, rubbing the back of his head.<br/>
“That doesn’t sound like a nice way to live,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“It isn’t,” Sidney sighed, “it made her miserable and as a result she made my life a misery when we were married. She likes going to social gatherings and having a reputation among the it crowd. But as soon as we walked out the door, those relationships ended- and those that didn’t end simply remained because she had dirt on them and used it to manipulate people. Nothing ever lasted around Eliza- when I was younger, I used to think she shined so brightly that she lit up the room but I learnt that she was so bright that she turned everything around her to ash.”<br/>
“If you two make each other so miserable, why won’t she just agree to sign the papers? Surely there must be something she wants in exchange to sign the papers?” Charlotte asked, biting her bottom lip as she turned her head to look at him.<br/>
“What she wants I’m not willing to give her,” Sidney said, scratching his forehead.<br/>
“What’s that?”<br/>
“A year more of my life,” Sidney sighed.<br/>
“A year?” Charlotte scrunched her nose in confusion.<br/>
“She wants me to give the marriage a go for one more year- fully committed to one another. If at the end of the year, I say I don’t want it, she said she’ll sign and walk away,” Sidney said.<br/>
Charlotte nodded her head slowly as she processed the information. The voice in her head told her not to ask, but she couldn’t help not knowing, “And you don’t want to give it a go?”<br/>
Sidney turned and looked at her- unable to read the look in Charlottes eyes, “no. I’ve given her enough chances. I’m not the same person. I want different things. New things.”<br/>
“Maybe now that you have closure on that chapter, you can move on,” Charlotte said quietly.<br/>
“I don’t know.”<br/>
“I doubt you’ll want to be alone forever and I mean look at your face,” Charlotte laughed, trying to lighten the mood.<br/>
“What’s wrong with my face?” Sidney asked, smiling as his eyes met her.<br/>
“Nothing- thats the problem. Women literally throw themselves at you because you look that good. Literally everyone woman that sees you, wants you,” Charlotte smiled.<br/>
“So you think I’m good looking,” Sidney smirked.<br/>
Charlotte laughed and pushed his gently in the arm, “I’m just saying Sidney. I’m sure other women have said just as much when they’ve tried to go home with you.”<br/>
“I’ve thought about it- the whole dating thing,” Sidney said picking his words carefully as he felt Charlotte’s eyes on him, “maybe I’m too busy.”<br/>
“Busy doing what?” Charlotte asked.<br/>
Sidney hesitated for a moment- trying to stop the words he wanted from falling off the tip of his tongue, “just too busy. I better get going.” </p><p>Sidney quickly pulled on his clothes and rushed to leave Charlottes house. He kept telling her it was late and that he needed to get home to sort things out for the gala tomorrow and Charlotte just said okay- not entirely sure what changed his mood but sure that it was better to leave it at this late hour. </p><p>As Sidney slid into his car, the words he was too scared to say to Charlotte played in his mind. It had been a day of reinforcing the things he was losing. The chance at finally being free from Eliza’s shackles. The chance of being free of the crippling debt Tom had placed them in again. Free from being able to move forward with his life. He didn’t want to clump her into the pile. </p><p>All Sidney knew for certain though was that he couldn’t take her advice and try to move on with someone else. Not even casually. He knew he wasn’t ready for somebody else and yes, maybe it was because he was too busy. </p><p>Maybe he was too busy being hers to fall for someone new.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As always, thanks for all the feedback. I really appreciate the feedback and comments.</p><p>Title:<br/>Sabrina Claudio- Cross Your Mind</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Dream A Little Dream Of Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Grabs your keys because we’re going to the gala</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rubbing the back of her ear, where the earring seemed to be jabbing into her skin, Charlotte nervously entered the grand hall that had been hired in Sanditon for the gala. </p><p>She had dropped Sidney a quick message in the morning to ask him what exactly she was meant to wear and when he said formal wear, she groaned inwardly. She’d never had to wear anything really fancy before- just some cocktail dresses or her trusted little black dress. </p><p>Charlotte messaged Mary to ask for some help and when the garage closed early because the executives had to leave to prepare for the evening, Charlotte headed to Trafalgar house where Mary had an exquisite pale blue, full length, silk dress waiting for Charlotte. It was fitted in all the right places and swayed when Charlotte moved. The spaghetti straps crossed over the low cut back to form a criss cross and Charlotte was sure it was too risky for a gala, until Mary insisted she would be fine. </p><p>Walking down the cascading gold steps, Charlotte could feel the eyes of the room fall on her and immediately felt out of place. She was thankful she had decided to crack open the white wine before she had left and had taken a swig straight from the bottle- slightly concerned she had drank half the bottle before she’d even arrived here but now feeling the alcohol settle her slightly with each step she took, she was glad she’d had it. </p><p>The room was dripping in opulence. Gold finished off everything- the light fighting, the furniture, the snake that was handcrafted into the marble floor. Over the top ice sculptures had been specially made for the event- shaped like various winning formula one cars, there were candles lit everywhere (which just made Charlotte pray that they’d got insurance because she was sure this was a hazard) and crystals shimmered around the room. Everyone was dressed in their finest clothes- women dripping in silk and diamond encrusted, gold jewels and men in tuxes. Charlotte instantly regretted her dress choice- the floor length, blue silk dress feeling far too simple for the occasion. </p><p>“Charlotte you look like such a lady,” Arthur said, having walked over to the stairs when he saw Charlotte coming down and holding out his arm to escort her to their table.<br/>
“Arthur you can talk. Your looking rather dapper yourself,” Charlotte smiled, glancing at Arthur in his tuxedo before eyeing the room with caution- she was certain she knew almost no one here.<br/>
“Let me escort you to your table- Tom has put you on a table with the rest of us and some “key”- his words not mine, investors, donors and patrons. Be sure to be prepared to fall asleep,” Arthur said, grabbing two champagnes as a tray came past, “down these and the night might flow better. I’ve already had a few.”<br/>
“A few?” Charlotte asked, sipping on the bubbles.<br/>
“Like seven but honestly, it’s not enough,” Arthur groaned, downing another and Charlotte laughed- feeling better about the half bottle she’d had at home. </p><p>Looking across from them as they began to walk to their table, Charlotte could see Sidney standing- gripping a seat, whilst Crowe drank from a flask next to him. He was wearing a black, fitted tux.  Charlotte felt her breath catch in her throat and the pit of her stomach knot. She had never seen him like that before. And she really liked it. Her mind instantly filled with dirty thoughts and Charlotte tried (but failed) to get rid of them. </p><p>She noticed Sidney was staring at her and immediately she felt conscious- like she had chosen the wrong dress and even he could see just how out of place she was. Taking a large sip of her champagne, Charlottes eyes continued to travel around the table. There were a few faces she recognised. Of course Tom and Mary, then Edward Denham with his sister Esther (who was being chatted up by Babington). Then Charlotte stopped in her tracks- pulling Arthur back by his arms as she did. </p><p>Eliza. </p><p>Charlotte had thought she would be okay if she saw her. She thought she was indifferent but Charlotte couldn’t stand the sight of her. Not because she hated her (Eliza has never done anything personally to hurt Charlotte which would stir such an emotion) but because Charlotte was jealous of her. </p><p>Even though Sidney reassured Charlotte just last night that he didn’t have any feelings for Eliza, Charlotte was jealous of the personal emotions and memories the two once shared. The way Sidney had loved her since he was young. The way Sidney waited for her. The lengths of despair she had heard he’d gone to, to forget Eliza. A love like that was rare and Charlotte was jealous that she was just another fling in Sidneys books. Worse off, Charlotte was jealous of the control Eliza still had on Sidney. Charlotte didn’t want that over Sidney- Love wasn’t about controlling the other. But Charlotte understood the intoxicating emotions of being in Sidney’s orbit. Who wouldn’t want to stay with Sidney Parker if they could? </p><p>“Charlotte, you’ve gone white,” Arthur said, waving a hand in her face.<br/>
“Is there a bar?” Charlotte gulped, blinking her eyes a couple of times.<br/>
“Of course there’s a bar- Sidney and I wouldn’t make it without a bar,” Arthur said.<br/>
“I’m going to need something a little stronger than champagne before we sit at the table,” Charlotte said, turning on her heels and dragging Arthur along with her. </p><p>As they approached the bar that was hidden behind the large stair case, Charlotte thought about the emotions stirring in her. Pinning. Jealousy.  Heart ache. She needed to get rid of them. So Charlottes plan was simple. If she drank enough tequila, Charlotte was sure her emotions would go away. </p><p>Charlotte didn’t pause to think through her plan- immediately catching the bartenders attention and having shot after shot placed in front of her. As she downed her fifth straight tequila shot, Arthur looked at her curiously. </p><p>“Charlotte are you okay?” Arthur asked, sipping on his glass of wine with concern.<br/>
“I’m fine,” Charlotte said in a tone higher than her usual pitch and raised another shot glass to her mouth.<br/>
“Okay,” Arthur said, pulling the shot glass from her mouth and sitting her down on the seat by the bar, “Heywood- I have no idea what is happening right now but I need you to get your shit together. Toms seen me with you. He’ll think I’ve made you drunk. And then he’ll get Sidney on us. Tom’s like an annoying butterfly compared to Sidneys lion,” Arthur said over dramatically.</p><p>Charlotte sat in her seat, trying to listen to Arthur seriously but the lightness in her head made her burst into a fit of giggles as she imagined Sidney as a lion. He certainly had some fierceness in bed and Charlotte did enjoy that ever so much.</p><p>“Charlotte your insane,” Arthur said, snapping his fingers at the bartender as Charlotte giggled like a school girl, “i need three espresso shots like yesterday.”</p><p>The man immediately got Arthur three tiny espresso cups and holding her head, Arthur forced the coffee down Charlottes throat- even when Charlotte protested that she was perfectly fine (just with a case of the giggles). Dropping the last cup on the marble bar, Arthur looked at Charlotte eagerly to see if he’d managed to sober her up.</p><p>“How many fingers?” Arthur said, showing his hands so close to her face that Charlotte groaned as she pushed them away.<br/>
“I’m fine Arthur,” Charlotte smiled, gripping the bar as she looked around and thought to start moving back to the table of hell.<br/>
“I can’t take you anywhere,” Arthur’s said, downing his glass of wine.<br/>
“This isn’t even the worse thing I’ve done drunk. Not that I’m drunk- I’m just a little like... light headed... but one time I got drunk and I ended up sleeping with sid-“ Charlotte stumbled on her foot as she tried to stand up and Arthur immediately grabbed her.<br/>
“Your a lightweight Charlotte,” Arthur said, helping her back in her seat.<br/>
“I’m not drunk. Maybe a little buzzed but I’m fine- ask me a car question,” Charlotte said confidently, slapping her cheek lightly to slap the drunkness out of her.<br/>
“I don’t know,” Arthur said, looking at her concerned.<br/>
Charlotte hit him gently in the arm, “come on ask me.”<br/>
“Fine,” Arthur said, taking the wine bottle from the counter and pouring himself a glass so full, Charlotte was sure it was going to overflow, “Umm.... I don’t actually know anything about cars.”<br/>
“Arthur!” Charlotte groaned.<br/>
“I wouldn’t know if your telling me gibberish or the truth either way so it doesn’t matter,” Arthur downed his wine and then checked his watch, “let’s get you over to the table. If we’re late, Tom is going to start moaning. Even if your drunk- just act like you aren’t okay.”</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>Sidney saw Charlotte walking down the grand stairs and immediately began to walk over towards her. The blue shade of her silk dress, shimmered in the light and brought out every curve of Charlotte’s body. Sidney could not help but imagine what he would do to that dress later that night if Charlotte would give him a chance. </p><p>As he walked towards the stairs, picking up two glasses of champagne from a waiters tray, he heard his name from behind him. </p><p>“Sidney,” Tom called.<br/>
Closing his eyes in frustration, Sidney turned to Tom, “Tom give me two minutes,” he said, turning back on his heels to see Charlotte but she was gone. </p><p>Immediately, Sidney started to search the room for her. He had been eagerly stood near the stairs so he would be able to greet her and it had already been too long since he had last seen or spoken to her. Sidney craved her presence by his side. As his eyes searched the room, Sidney felt a hand slip through his arm. </p><p>“What are you looking for dear?” The familiar voice echoed in his ear.<br/>
Rolling his eyes, Sidney turned to look at her, “what are you doing here?”<br/>
“I was invited,” Eliza smiled, taking one of the champagne glasses from his hand and moving so she was standing in front of him.<br/>
“And who lost their mind and sent you the invite?” Sidney said, taking a gulp of his champagne- sure he needed something stronger.<br/>
“There was a rumour around London that the banks are about to call in some loans,” Eliza said raising her eyebrow.<br/>
“And where ever did you hear that?” Sidney gritted through his teeth. He would not confess his family’s dire financial situation to her.<br/>
“You forget Sidney, I brought shares in that little racing team of yours the first time Tom needed a loan. To be fair, I had forgotten as well since I was always a silent investor, but recently, a letter was received at the offices and it was brought to our attention that our investment wasn’t as shinny as it used to be. I might have dropped the ball on it but the investors at Campians have been keeping a firm eye on it for me,” Eliza grinned, “And you know bankers- they do like to gossip, especially when they’re given the right... incentive.” </p><p>Sidney felt his blood raise as he remembered the deal. An unfortunate consequence of his first driving accident. They had just started the formula one team when Sidney’s car had lost control and he had to leave work for a couple of months. It was the second time he had taken Eliza back. When Tom came to him about their financial troubles, Sidney had told Eliza and she insisted on helping them. Sidney wouldn’t accept the money directly but agreed to let her invest in the company until he could pay her back. He had thought he’d paid her back but the more he thought about it, the more he realised he’d forgotten the matter entirely. </p><p>Balling his fist besides him, Sidney moved closer to Eliza, ready to rip into her. For a whole year, she had not mentioned it once. Suddenly, she was dragging up pieces of the past. </p><p>“I’m going to need to steal him,” Babington said, gripping his hands around Sidneys shoulders and pulling him towards the table with him, before Sidney even had the opportunity to open his mouth. </p><p>Shaking Babington off of him, Sidney was grateful he had been pulled away before he said or did something he regretted. He gripped his hand around the chair at the table as he tried to wash the thought of Eliza away. But she was a bad smell following him around the room. </p><p>As Crowe talked to himself beside him, Sidney immediately lifted his head to find Charlotte again. He needed to see her. As he looked up, he saw Charlotte standing there- and he could not help but stare at how beautiful she looked. He was ready to walk over to her when he saw Charlotte pulling Arthur. </p><p>Annoyed he had lost yet another chance to see her, Sidney bent down to grab a glass of champagne off the table and drank it in one go. </p><p>This was going to be a long night. </p><p>***</p><p>Walking back over to the table, Charlotte felt her nerves settle much more easily than before. She was definitely feeling tipsy but she’d managed to sober up slightly from the additional espresso Arthur had plied her with on her walk to the table. When Charlotte saw Sidney speaking with an unfamiliar man and Tom- standing there in that tux, she felt her stomach flip in a way she knew it shouldn’t. </p><p>She needed more alcohol, she thought immediately- ready to slip away from Arthur and hide back at the bar. </p><p>“Ah, I believe we have a female engineer amongst us,” Tom said happily, walking around the table to take Charlotte from Arthur’s arm and pull her into the group.<br/>
“Hi,” Charlotte said shyly, mentally cursing at the fact she wasn’t going to be able to slip away now.<br/>
“Charlotte is our chief engineer. She has worked on the 66 and the 54- both finished in the top five the other day,” Tom said proudly.<br/>
“Pleasure to meet you Charlotte,” the unnamed man said, “I’m quite intrigued to hear more about you. I’m a big believer in championing women. Only three female driver ever- now that isn’t right is it?”<br/>
“I certainly agree- we need to give Mr Parkers daughter a fair chance to compete one day,” Charlotte smiled.<br/>
“Yes yes Charlotte,” Tom said, forcing a smile, “they’ve just announced that we need to take our seats for dinner. Perhaps we can find Mr Francis after.”<br/>
“Oh yes, I must get back to my wife before she wonders where I’ve gone. I look forward to speaking to you Charlotte,” he said with a beaming smile.<br/>
“Me too,” Charlotte said, looking at him as he walked away.<br/>
“Here Charlotte, sit next to Edward. He has many questions he wanted to ask,” Tom said eagerly, pulling Charlottes seat and practically forcing her into the seat. </p><p>Unable to protest the arrangement, Charlotte sat down quietly as Tom arranged everyone else around the table. </p><p>Tom sat to her other side and Charlotte watched Arthur take the set next to Sidney opposite her. She felt her jealousy rise again as Eliza sat besides Sidney but she quickly grabbed a glass of champagne and decided to drink the feeling away. It was weak, but with enough glasses and enough praying, she’d be too out of her mind to worry about her growing feeling for Sidney soon enough. He’s good in bed. That’s it. Charlotte told herself. No feelings. </p><p>As Edward began to talk about himself and his estate, Charlotte downed a couple of glasses of champagne in as lady-like a manner as she could. Occasionally she glanced over the table to see Sidney talking to Eliza. That stung Charlotte but when she saw Arthur speaking to Eliza as well, Charlotte  immediately went to gulp her champagne. It was one thing to speak to a man whose relationship with Charlotte was unclassified. It was another thing to talk to Charlottes only real friend in town.  As she topped up her glass again, she felt a jab in her leg under the table. Looking down she saw nothing. Sipping the glass, Charlotte turned her head up and saw Arthur giving her the eye from the other side of the table. He was shaking his head as she sipped the drink and Charlotte knew exactly what he meant. He wanted her to stop drinking. </p><p>But Charlotte knew she wouldn’t make it through the evening without it. </p><p>“So how long have you known the Parkers now?” Edward asked as they began their mains.<br/>
“About two and a half months,” Charlotte said, carefully cutting her piece of chicken.<br/>
“And they’re good employers?” Edward asked, more as  small talk than anything else.<br/>
“Lovely,” Charlotte said, her head hurting from all the politeness she had to spew.<br/>
“And what do you do when they let you out of that garage. Although, I suppose all that grime and grease,” Edward began, eyeing Charlotte up and down as he took a bite of his chicken, “would be fun to clean up- especially with a willing participant.”<br/>
“I prefer to be alone,” Charlotte said feeling uncomfortable, “gives me more time to sit and read.”<br/>
“Oh you like reading?” Edward said interestedly, “what do you like to read?”<br/>
“I like Walter Scott- poetry has always intrigued me,” Charlotte said excitedly. Perhaps they finally did have something interesting to talk about.<br/>
“Do you remember,” Edward said eagerly, “Scott’s beautiful Lines of The Sea? What a description they convey- in fact they are never out of my mind when I walk along the beaches of Sanditon.”<br/>
“I’m afraid I’m not-“<br/>
“What an exquisite man. I think you’d have to hold me back if I ever get the chance to met him,” Edward said proudly.<br/>
“I can’t say I recall any moment about the sea in Scott’s poems,” Charlotte said awkwardly, choosing to ignore the fact that Edward seemed to think he was still alive.<br/>
“Do you not? Well, I can’t recall the exact moment or description, but you can’t have forgotten his description of... woman,” Edward said, plastering a flirtatious (yet creepy) smile on his face.<br/>
“I think perhaps, you and I have quite different tastes in novels,” Charlotte said with a forced smile, immediately turning away from him. </p><p>Rolling her eyes, Charlotte ignored Arthur’s stares and downed another three glass of champagne and tried to work out when would be an appropriate time to make an escape from the table. Their meals drew to an end and just when she thought she found the perfect time to leave and hide, she heard her name again. </p><p>“Charlotte, care for a dance around the floor,” Edward asked, holding out his hand.<br/>
“Oh Yes Charlotte wouldn’t that be lovely,” Tom smiled at her, looking at Charlotte eagerly.<br/>
“Tom I don’t think Charlotte should do anything she doesn’t want to do,” Sidney said, the first thing Charlotte had heard from him all night.<br/>
“Oh Sidney dear, let her have some fun,” Eliza smiled, gently touching  Sidneys arm.<br/>
“I can choose what I want to do for myself thank you,” Charlotte said through gritted teeth, taking another sip of her champagne.<br/>
“Miss Heywood,” Edward said, standing up. </p><p>Charlotte reluctantly took his hand and allowed him to walk her to the dance floor. At first, Charlotte was relieved to dance with Edward. At least when they were waltzing around the floor, he wasn’t saying anything stupid or mind numbingly boring to her. However, Charlotte found that when words weren’t being exchange, Edward liked to use his hands. Often they were found travelling around her body far more than Charlotte liked and as often as she told him to stop or moved his hand back to her waist, Edward kept moving it down to her ass. </p><p>*** </p><p>Sidney kept his eyes on Charlotte as she moved around the dance floor with Edward. Watching his clock, he saw it had already been five minutes- surely they should have been done by now. </p><p>“Nice evening isn’t it dear,” Eliza said into Sidneys ear.</p><p>Sidney rolled his eyes. He hated her and was already annoyed that she was here. The frustration he felt, knowing she had a piece of their business to mess with was now an added contention. Then to make matters worse, Sidney was fuming that he had to sit besides her at Tom’s insistence. </p><p>“Eliza, I really don’t want anything to do with you. When will you get the message?” Sidney said as quietly as possible- aware they needed the money from all the investors, donors and patrons in the room too desperately to make a scene.<br/>
“Sidney dear, when will you realise that I won’t give up on us,” Eliza smiled, “do you not remember how besotted you once were with me?”<br/>
“I was walking through a fifteen year dark night Eliza. I’m wide awake now,” Sidney said.<br/>
“Sidney you do joke far too much,” Eliza laughed, “do you remember that time we went to St Lucia...”</p><p>Sidney zoned out as Eliza launched into a speech about their shared memories- memories that were all tainted now. </p><p>He watched Charlotte move around the dance floor with Edward. He tried to remain calm, but his fists balled under the table in frustration. He despised the fact that Edward could so openly talk to Charlotte like that. He hated that, yet again, Tom had forced Charlotte away from him and towards another man. What he hated most, was seeing the way Edward tried to trail his hands over Charlotte’s body. </p><p>Sidney couldn’t watch it any more. </p><p>***</p><p>“Can I steal her away to talk shop for a moment?” Sidney said, pulling Edward back by the shoulder.<br/>
“We’re dancing,” Edward slurred.<br/>
“Why don’t you get us some champagne Edward,” Charlotte interjected between the two men, glancing with relief at Sidney, “Mr Parker can take me around the floor for a spin whilst he tells me what he wants.” </p><p>Reluctantly, Edward stepped aside and quickly left to get drinks. Sidney smiled at Charlotte as he took one of her hands in his and wrapped the other around her waist. </p><p>Both of them felt their breathing settle more comfortably as they touched. Silent for a few minutes, they enjoyed the syncing of their movement as their feet moved. </p><p>The pair swayed together around the dance floor. It was packed full with couples and in the sea of people, they found moments to graze their hands against each other or run their fingers along the others bodies. </p><p>“What was it that you wanted to ask me Sidney?” Charlotte asked, looking up at him with more caution than she would have liked. Her emotions were messing with her head (her emotions and all that alcohol she’d had) and it made her weary of Sidney.<br/>
“I just wanted to get you away from Edward,” Sidney laughed, but he knew it was true.<br/>
“Well I thank you because it was becoming a bit awkward,” Charlotte said, rolling her eyes as she thought about it.<br/>
“Any time. That’s what we do. Help the other,” Sidney said. </p><p>The two moved closer towards each other as they yearned for each other. The music slowed to a gentle waltz and Sidney tightened his hand around Charlottes hand. He could feel his heart beating fast in his chest and as Charlotte’s lips curved to a soft smile, Sidney felt like he was under her spell. </p><p>“Why is it Charlotte,” Sidney began, his gaze falling down to look at Charlottes face, “that when I finally have a chance at happiness, I cannot accept a fact?”<br/>
“What is it that you cannot accept?” Charlotte asked hesitantly. Her mind raced- had an evening spent next to Eliza changed his feelings for her?<br/>
“I had convinced myself that I was destined to remain alone,” Sidney said quietly, pulling her in at the waist so they were practically touching.<br/>
“I don’t think anyone is truly destined to be alone, they simply have to find that person that matches their jagged edges into theirs,” Charlotte said, looking at their feet move around the dance floor, too afraid to see the look on Sidneys face. </p><p>Deeply consumed by their own thoughts, Sidney and Charlotte knocked into an elderly couple dancing next to them. Sidney recognised the two as donors from the race club and quickly apologised before turning back to sway Charlotte around the dance floor again. Both Charlotte and Sidney turned their heads to watch the elderly couple dance beside them. It moved them in ways they didn’t realise they needed. </p><p>“Do you ever think about the mysterious ways people fall in love?” Sidney asked, lowering his eyes so he could focus on Charlotte’s face as she watched the elderly couple dancing in bliss.<br/>
“I can’t say I have,” Charlotte said, “but I remember looking at all the old couples in my village and knowing that I wanted that. Whatever it was, they always looked happy together.”<br/>
“I was thinking about it. The mystery of love. Some people fall in love with a look or joke,” he said, locking eyes with Charlotte, “or the touch of a hand.”<br/>
Charlotte shifted on her feet, her stomach knotting as she did, “I think the only mystery is how someone would put up with me- maybe it’s all part of a plan, but i seem to be making the same mistakes when it comes to... love and I don’t think anyone would want to tolerate that.” </p><p>Sidney chuckled, knowing that despite the fact he didn’t really know Charlotte (it had just been sex really over the past few weeks), the tugging of his heart strings told him that this was exactly what he wanted. </p><p>Her in every way. </p><p>“Charlotte. I would-“<br/>
“Sidney,” Tom said, grabbing hold of Sidney’s shoulder and pointing to the far end of the room, “Lady Denham said if we could get Mr Roach on board, she would double her investment. Come now, you must help me.” </p><p>Reluctantly (and without much choice), Sidney felt Tom begin to pull him away. As he did, he looked at Charlotte with pleading eyes and she just smiled. Knowing what Tom could be like. Looking around the dance floor, Charlotte reluctantly decided to return to the table- her head was starting to spin. </p><p>Sitting down, Charlotte smiled at Crowe and Babington who were engaged in a conversation. She turned to speak with Mary and Esther, but as she opened her mouth, another voice popped up.</p><p>“So charlotte, Tom has been raving about your role on the team all the evening,” Eliza said across the table, loud enough to engage anyone else that was sat there.<br/>
“All good things I hope,” Charlotte smiled shyly, looking around for a bottle of champagne that wasn’t empty.<br/>
“Of course,” Eliza said, “he said you were a real asset to the team.”<br/>
“I’m not sure about that,” Charlotte said, beginning to feel her tolerance level wear.<br/>
“Oh non sense, even Sidney said how much of an assets you were,” Eliza smiled, “apparently you provide quite the service.”<br/>
“Eliza,” Babington said sternly, yet quietly beside her.<br/>
“I’m just saying, that that is what I heard,” Eliza said innocently. </p><p>Rubbing the back of her neck, Charlotte wondered how she could escape the table now. With no Arthur there for courage and no Sidney there to distract her, she felt uncomfortable. </p><p>“Ah,” Tom said, returning to his seat, “what are we discussing?”<br/>
“Oh nothing,” Eliza said, gently stroking Sidneys arm as he sat down, “actually I was just wondering Charlotte, are you in a relationship?”<br/>
“I don’t think that’s any of our business,” Sidney said immediately, focusing his attention on a spot on the table.<br/>
“No dear, it’s just I think I know the perfect man to set Charlotte up with,” Eliza said.<br/>
“I’m single but I’m quite happy about it,” Charlotte said flatly.<br/>
“But why ever not? You don’t want to be alone?” Eliza asked.<br/>
“I think you should stop,” Babington added.<br/>
“It’s a harmless question. He’s a lovely boy from a village so I think he and Charlotte shall have something to talk about- I think a common background is very important to a stable relationship, don’t you agree Sidney,” Eliza said, turning to look at him.<br/>
“I think Charlotte would much rather spend her time somewhere fixing the engine to a Shelby Cobra,” Sidney said, intending to showcase just how skilled Charlotte was at her job but rather feeling like his attempts were falling flat.<br/>
“Oh Sidney if she were, she would never find a boy,” Eliza laughed softly.<br/>
“I’m perfectly fine as I am, thank you,” Charlotte said, tapping her fingers against the table softly and wondering why she had no more champagne in her glass.<br/>
“Charlotte I’m simply trying to help,” Eliza said nonchalantly, “women these days will do anything to push their careers forward that they forget that those methods are no way to get a man-“</p><p>Throwing her napkin on the table, Charlotte pushed her chair back and excused herself. She had had enough of Elizas snide remarks and the silence or lack of silence from other members of the table only infuriated her more. Charlotte didn’t bother to look back as she climbed the stairs out of Denham place and into the open air. </p><p>Charlotte was impressed with how far she had made it (and how quickly) in her heels. They were quite high and given the amount she had drunk,she was amazed she was still standing up right. As she walked fast, the hot tears stung in her eyes. </p><p>“Charlotte,” she heard Sidney call, but Charlotte was too angry and confused to stop and listen. She wanted to get away.<br/>
“Charlotte wait,” Sidney said, grabbing her by the arm gently and pulling her back to him.<br/>
“What?” Charlotte spat in anger, yanking her arm away from him.<br/>
“Talk to me,” Sidney said, searching her eyes desperately in the evening sky.<br/>
“Talk to you?” Charlotte said furiously, “what do you want me to say? That I feel like an idiot? That I feel like a toy in a game? Something for Tom and your amusement?”<br/>
“Charlotte, id never-“<br/>
“Do you want me to tell you that I’m annoyed that I had to spend half the evening with Edward crawling under my skin? Or that Eliza made me feel as small as an ant when she practically accused me of sleeping my way into my job?” Charlotte continued to rant, “I came because you asked me to come Sidney. Not Tom. Not Arthur. Not anyone else. You. And you left me to swim with the sharks.”<br/>
“Charlotte, I’m sorry. I just got pulled in so many directions,” Sidney began but stopped as soon as he saw the look of contemplation on Charlotte’s face and began to worry, “what?”<br/>
Charlotte gulped for a moment before looking up to meet his eyes, “I can’t do this any more Sidney.”<br/>
“Can’t do what?” Sidney said, the strings of his heart beginning to tug in his chest.<br/>
“This whole thing,” Charlotte said defeatedly, “it’s just not working any more.... I don’t want to do it any more. I don’t want this.”</p><p>Sidney stood stunned into silence. Charlotte looked at the confused look on his face. She liked Sidney. She liked him a lot and if she could keep things the way they were, she would. But things were too complicated now and Charlotte didn’t need complicated. She had emotions she wanted to express. Words she wanted to share. All of them started and ended with Sidney. But she couldn’t say that to him because he wanted their arrangement. </p><p>Exhaling sharply, Charlotte wiped a rouge tear streaming down her cheek and turned to walk away. She needed to lie down. </p><p>“Charlotte please wait,” he said, moving quickly to catch her.<br/>
“What!” Charlotte shouted, pulling her arm away and looking at Sidney with tears in her eyes. She exhaled before she said in a whisper, “what do you want from me?”<br/>
“What do I want?” Sidney asked, “what do I want?”</p><p>Charlotte looked at him. Sidney was breathing heavily. His fingers running nervously through his hair as he loosened his bow tie so he could feel like he was breathing. </p><p>“I want this,” Sidney said, grabbing hold of Charlottes hand.<br/>
“What?”<br/>
“I want this. I was scared and I messed up. I thought after Eliza that I couldn’t be in a relationship again because I would ruin it. But the problem is Charlotte, that when I wake up in the morning the first thing I wonder is when I’m going to see you. To talk to you. To ask if your okay. I smell your perfume all over me long after your gone. I look for any excuse I can just to get a second more time with you.”</p><p>Sidney stopped to look at Charlotte. Her chest moved up and down rapidly as she listen intently. Sidney took a deep breath. </p><p>“I admire the way you speak so passionately about the things you love. I love the way you speak about yourself. You said you make mistakes but your human and I love that you know that.  But I also want you to know that in my eyes, you are unique. You've always been. And I cannot hide my feelings any more because for so long I’ve been so busy being yours... that I haven’t even told you. I can’t conceal it any more,” Sidney said.<br/>
“what are you saying Sidney?” Charlotte asked, her heart racing. Her voice trembling.<br/>
“I’m saying you have beaten my heart Charlotte. That I feel like this could be a once in twenty life times kind of thing, because with you I feel like I’m my best self... my truest self.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for staying for the ride! </p><p>As always, your feedback and comments are much appreciated :)</p><p>Title:<br/>Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong- Dream A Little Dream Of Me</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. As Long As You Follow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks everyone for reading and for the comments- as always, they’re appreciated.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlotte stood there paralysed. Sidneys words were sinking into her skin as her chest beat up and down. Charlottes eyes were glued to Sidneys face and the distance between them began to feel huge. With a shaking top lip, Charlotte felt herself soften- the anger entirely washing away. </p><p>He loved her. He wanted her. </p><p>The adrenaline from all the alcohol began to cause Charlottes head to spin and instantly she felt her feet rushing her towards Sidney- the sound of her heels hitting the concrete ground hard with each swift movement and echoing through the quite evening air. Charlotte raised her hands, clasping Sidneys cheeks in her palms and feeling the coarseness of his beard in her hands. </p><p>On her tiptoes, she crashed her lips into his as deeply as she could. She bit gently on his lower lip and slipped her hands down to his neck so she could pull him in even closer. Her fingers could feel his pulse racing under his skin and Charlotte knew that her own heart was beating just as fast. </p><p>Sidney was stunned at the way Charlotte responded to him. He was still cautious and wondered if he was dreaming. If he was- he did not want to be woken. Letting her take the lead, Sidney opened his mouth and let his lips brush against her as Charlotte dipped her tongue into his mouth and moaned. </p><p>They had kissed many times before but this felt different. </p><p>It was more passionate. More slow. More desperate with each breath. They were searching for each other. </p><p>Charlotte felt her skin burn as Sidney slipped his hand around her waist. She pushed her hands into his curly hair, desperate to feel every inch of his body against her own. Meeting his hunger with hers, Charlotte wrapped his tongue into hers. Panting into his mouth, it aroused Sidney even more. The sound like an symphony in his ear- and he wanted it to play on. Sidney slipped his hand to the straps of Charlotte’s dress before his brain finally started to waken. He wanted to do this. </p><p>But not here. </p><p>“Let’s get out of here,” Sidney said breathlessly against her lips.</p><p>Charlottes voice caught in her throat but she nodded agreeably. Sidney grabbed her hand and as much as Charlotte wanted to walk him to the nearest room, lock the doors and have her way with him (it was quite a large place after all- she was certain they had enough rooms to spare), she wanted to take her time and enjoy the moment before they both probably woke up and realised this was a mistake. </p><p>Sidney called down a cab two minutes later and as soon as they slid into the backseat, Charlotte closed her eyes and leaned back into the seat to try and calm herself down. She felt her skin burning with desire and her pulse racing. Sidney tapped his fingers eagerly on his thigh as he told the driver his address. He was willing time to move faster. For the driver to put his foot down and get them to his house quicker. Charlotte watched Sidneys hand shake impatiently in his lap and it only made the electric feeling in her body intensify. </p><p>They hadn’t bothered to tell anyone they were going. They hadn’t bothered to say their goodbyes. They just left. They craved each other and just wanted to hold each other. </p><p>Biting her bottom lip, Charlotte looked at the driver through the rear view mirror and noticed he had firmly planted his eyes on the road. She turned to look at the Sidney. As the streetlights passed and lit up the car, she could see his jaw was clenched as he checked his watch. Sliding her fingers across towards him, Charlotte grabbed Sidneys face and gently pulled him to meet her. She kissed him deeply- unable to wait any longer to touch him. He had left her breathless from the moment she had seen him that night.</p><p>She succeed in holding in her moans as she kissed him more passionately- intertwining their tongues as she allowed him to dive into her mouth. Her hand travelled along his thigh and Sidney struggled to contain his own moans as Charlotte edged her hand closer to his most intimate parts. She could feel herself getting wetter and warmer as Sidney wrapped his hand around her check and slowly brushing his hands into her hair- gently tugging at her lower lip as he desperately drank from her lips. </p><p>They were both clothed, yet felt so intimately naked in the back of the car- and neither minded. </p><p>As the driver pulled up outside Sidneys house, the two of them were breathing heavily. Desperate to get inside but too intoxicated by the feeling of the other to move, they didn’t even realise where they were as they began to slide their hands all over the other. Just the touch of Sidney against her skin made Charlotte feel like she burning brighter than the sun- he was so close she felt like she was coming undone.</p><p>The driver cleared his throat before speaking shyly- as if he was walking in on something (in his own car), “excuse me.” </p><p>Sidney didn’t even check how much money he handed the driver as he absently pulled out the notes from the inside pocket of his tux. He grabbed Charlottes hand firmly as he lead her up the driveway and into his home. </p><p>They’d been in here many times, but now it felt different. Enchanting. </p><p>Charlotte tugged at Sidneys hand as he shut the front door and pulled him against her as she leaned against the wall. She breathed heavily into his mouth as she kissed him slowly and with longing. Sidney pressed against her lips softly, pushing his tongue into hers when Charlotte opened her mouth waiting for him. Running her fingers up his covered chest, Charlotte grabbed onto the collar of Sidney’s suit jacket as she arched her back and felt the best kind of deja vu. </p><p>Sidney pushed her breathlessly up against the wall and wrapped his hands around her as Charlotte’s legs wrapped around his waist- feeling his aroused cock in between her thighs as he grabbed her butt and pushed up higher up on the wall, until their lips met more comfortably. </p><p>Their lips fought to consume the others quicker as they moaned each other’s names. Sidney hungrily parted from Charlotte lips and began to trail soft kisses along her jaw, down her neck and along her shoulder blades. Breathing heavily into her skin, he softly ate at the crook of her neck as his right hand trailed over her shoulder and quickly moved the silk, thin strap of her dress down. </p><p>Charlotte’s shaking hands quickly undid Sidney’s loose bow tie. She pulled his shirt out of his waist band and wrestled her trembling fingers over each button so she could run her hands along his chest. </p><p>As Sidney began to deepen his lips around her neck- sending a tingling sensation all through her body, Charlotte felt an odd feeling stir in her stomach. </p><p>“Sidney,” she moaned breathlessly, dropping her legs from around his waist.<br/>
“Mmh,” Sidney murmured into her neck- unable to leave her just yet.<br/>
“I’m going to need the bathroom,” Charlotte said reluctantly, fully aware that she had drank too much. </p><p>Laughing softly against her skin, Sidney rolled onto the wall and moved to let Charlotte’s small body slip out from under him. </p><p>“First door on the left,” Sidney pointed up the stairs as Charlotte sped off quickly.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title:<br/>Fleetwood Mac- As Long As You Follow</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Epiphany</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Pancakes anyone?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stretching out her arms, Charlotte nuzzled her face into the soft pillow as she felt the after effects of yesterday’s drinking kicking in. </p><p>The last thing Charlotte could remember was vomiting into the toilet at Sidney’s house and then crawling tiredly into his room- ready to pass out and sleep as her headache began to form. Ordinarily, she would have been mortified if a boy she liked saw her in such a state, but with Sidney it was different. As sad as she was that they didn’t do anything last night, she was happy. Normally Charlotte was a flight risk with the fear of falling- having been burned too many time’s before, but she could see it now. And felt like Sidney could be the best thing that had ever been hers.  </p><p>Opening her eyes, Charlotte instantly squeezed them shut when she felt the morning light blaring into her eyes. She let out a loud groan and rolled into the pillow to try and cover her face from the sun. As she moved, Charlotte felt a body next to her and smiled. She didn’t need to look to know who was there as the memory of his confession came rushing into her mind and her heart strings tugged to form a smile on her face. </p><p>“Charlotte, stop moving. I’m trying to sleep,” Sidney joked as he lay there in his bed.<br/>
“Sidney,” Charlotte said in almost a whisper, “could you please stop shouting. My head really hurts.”<br/>
Sidney laughed as he rolled over to look at her, “Arthur told me you were a light weight.”<br/>
“Tell Arthur to be nicer to me,” Charlotte moaned, rubbing the side of her temple.<br/>
“I’ll tell him- right after I reply to his message from last night asking where I’d gone and if I’d seen you,” Sidney said, rolling onto his stomach and using his hand to brush the strand of hair in Charlotte’s face back behind her ear, “I think I’ll let him know- Sorry Arthur had to run. Charlotte is in love with me and wanted to take me here and now but I thought it best to keep things decent... so I took her home for a night of pleasure.”<br/>
Charlotte’s eyes shot open as she laughed, “don’t you dare.”<br/>
Sidney chuckled, “it’s alright. I told him you weren’t feeling great so you went home in a cab- I just didn’t specify that I was also in that cab and that it was my home.” </p><p>Charlotte smiled as she sat and replayed the night in her mind. She had definitely drunk too much but it was because of her nerves. She always drank too much when she was nervous... or anxious or feeling awkward or annoyed. And last night ruffled all those emotions. Eliza brought out an emotion in her that Charlotte had never felt before- not even when she heard about Connor cheating on her in the stalls behind the cricket club in Willingden. And the crowd of people made Charlotte feel like she didn’t fit into that world- one of fine dinning and opulence. </p><p>But the night had ended so well. She was left feeling breathless as Sidney told her that he had developed feelings for her- just as Charlotte had developed deep feelings for him. She  often found herself wondering whether she had known Sidney for twenty seconds or twenty years- feeling a deep conception with him. Turning to look at Sidney, who was smiling softly as he rested his eyes, Charlotte was in disbelief. </p><p>“Did last night really happen Sidney?” Charlotte asked, resting her head on her arm as she turned to her side and looked at him.<br/>
“I sure hope so because I don’t think I have the nerves to do it all over again,” Sidney said, opening his eyes to look at her.<br/>
“Why did you decide to tell me all that last night?” Charlotte asked curiously.<br/>
“Honestly?” Sidney said, using the tip of his index finger to gently swirl circles on Charlotte forearm, “because it was the first time I had mentally told myself I was going to tell you and you didn’t try to seduce me or appear naked in front of me.”<br/>
Charlotte laughed, “seriously?”<br/>
“Yes to an extent- you don’t know how many times I’ve thought I’d tell you, but... I also just had some... epiphany,” Sidney said, “when you asked me what I wanted, I don’t know... I suddenly just couldn’t imagine a moment in my life going forward without you in it.”<br/>
Charlotte felt her breath catch and almost stop all together as Sidney spoke. She closed her eyes for a minute before exhaling, “I want this Sidney, I really do but... I’m just scared that we’ll ruin everything,” Charlotte said honestly, “I mean your still married and Eliza doesn’t seem to be eager to give you a divorce. I only just broke up from a long term relationship. Are we even ready to commitment to this? To each other?”<br/>
“Charlotte my feelings from last night haven’t changed and I meant everything I said. I want this,” Sidney said, moving his hand to caress Charlottes cheek.<br/>
“I do too... I’m just scared we’ll make quite a mess of this and it will probably be better off if we don’t,” Charlotte sighed.<br/>
“Yeah but it’ll be our mess,” Sidney said, kissing her lips softly, “we’ll clean it up together.” </p><p>Looking at Sidney face, Charlottes eyes moved to look at his full lips. She wanted to have hope in this. She did have hope in this. </p><p>Moving forward, her heart racing as things finally began to feel real, Charlotte kissed Sidney gently. Kissing her back just as deeply, Sidney opened his lips slightly and Charlotte slipped her tongue into his mouth. They kissed each other deeply and slowly for a few minutes. They were both cautious to soak each other in- feeling everything far more greatly now that they both knew they wanted each other... and only each other. </p><p>Sidney pulled away from Charlotte first and rested his forehead on hers. As they laid there peacefully for a few minutes, Charlotte giggled when Sidneys stomach moaned loudly from hunger. </p><p>“Food?” He asked smiling, pushing back the duvet covering him and stretching.<br/>
Charlottes brain paused for a moment as she watched him standing there in his black boxers and nothing else. Gulping she responded, “Yes please.”<br/>
“I think we have some pancake mix left,” Sidney said scratching his head as he made his way over to the door.<br/>
Charlotte began moving to get out of bed until she realised she wasn’t wearing anything and immediately looked up at Sidney, “where are my clothes?”<br/>
Sidney laughed slightly as he remembered her last night, “You decided to kick off that dress before you climbed into my bed last night,” Sidney smiled, “I was quite disappointed- I had wanted to take that dress off of you from the moment I saw you walking down those stairs.”<br/>
“I’ll slip it back on one day and you can take it off then,” Charlotte smiled softly, “for now can you pass me a shirt or something.” </p><p>Looking around the room, Sidney grabbed his shirt white shirt from last night off a near by chair and held it up. </p><p>“This okay or would you rather I get you something clean out my wardrobe?” Sidney asked.<br/>
“I’ll take it,” Charlotte smiled, grabbing it as he chucked it to her and slid it on, “do you have coffee? I don’t like tea in the morning.”<br/>
“I’ll go make some,” Sidney said, turning to leave the room, “You sort yourself out and I’ll meet you downstairs.” </p><p>Charlotte went to the bathroom to freshen up before heading down the stairs five minutes later. She hadn’t realised just how hungry she was until the smell of coffee and cinnamon hit her. </p><p>Walking into the kitchen barefoot, Charlotte looked around in awe. She had never been in here. It was white marble with black appliances and lots of green plants scattered everywhere. Counters ran around the side walls of the kitchen and a large island sat in the middle. </p><p>“Why do you have such a big island?” Charlotte said, wondering why it was laid bare in the middle of the room (not even a fruit bowl or some opened envelopes on it).<br/>
“Came with the kitchen design I liked- and it fitted in,” Sidney shrugged, pouring pancake batter into a pan on the cooker.<br/>
“It’s so big, I could sleep on it,” Charlotte said, running her hand over it, “would be very cold though.” </p><p>Sidney laughed, pouring coffee into a cup and turning around to hand it to her. Charlotte took it gratefully and pulled out a bar stool from under the island to sit on. Charlotte listen to Sidney talk about the garage and the cars as she sipped on her coffee. She could barely hear a word he was saying though as she watched Sidney move around the kitchen- plating up their pancakes and finding the sauces in his cupboard. Charlotte paid particular attention to the muscles on his back, which seemed to twitch with each movement- their definition like a piece of sculpted art. </p><p>Charlotte bit her lip in an attempt to resist him but the more he moved, the more Charlotte felt herself beginning to loose control. She placed her porcelain cup on the counter and tip toed until she could snake her arms around Sidneys waist. Slowly, she began to plant soft kisses along his back and stretched to nuzzle into the back of his neck. </p><p>“If you do that Charlotte we won’t be eating,” Sidney said, turning off the cooker as he slid the last pancake onto the plate.<br/>
“I think I’ll need the food for energy afterwards anyways,” Charlotte shrugged, running her hands along his sides. </p><p>Sidney turned around and immediately crashed his lips into hers. Almost as if they were dancing, Sidneys hands tightened around Charlottes waist as he pushed her back towards the marble island in the middle of the room. Sidney licked her lower lip with his tongue before pushing it into her slightly open mouth and intertwining her tongue with his. Charlotte moaned softly and closed her eyes as Sidney played with her tongue and drank in her lips. The two of them moved more slowly than they usually would- as if they both wanted to saviour their first time together as two lovers. </p><p>Grazing his hand along the side of her leg, Sidney found her bare legs too tempting and slowly, he slid his fingers over her thigh before grabbing her ass and, lifting Charlotte so she sat on the counter. Charlotte felt the goosebumps on her legs as Sidneys touch sent electric shocks all over her body. Moving his head to suck on the skin behind Charlottes ear, where he could feel the beat of her pulse on his lips, Sidney gently put both his hands on her thighs and slowly spread them apart. Charlotte moaned softly into his ear as her hands gently ran through Sidneys hair and grabbed onto his curls. She could feel his hands edge closer to her intimate area as he moved himself between her legs. </p><p>As their lips crashed into each others hungrily, Charlotte slid her fingers over Sidneys shoulder so she could pull him closer to her. She could feel his muscles moving under his skin as her hand slipped down from his shoulders, to his sides and then onto his abs. At the same time, Charlotte was fully aware of what Sidney was doing with his fingers but she was too breathless to say anything. </p><p>Sidney stroked her legs gently, running his fingers up and down along the outside of her legs before trailing them over to the inside of her thigh and circling his fingers upwards gently. Charlotte could feel her skin burning as he slowly went higher and higher until he found her pants and instantly pulled them down. </p><p>While his tongue licked the inside of her lower lip, he pulled her close again and Charlotte wrapped her legs around him- pressing her hips into him as she became filled with desire. The heat of his mouth against her lips was intoxicating, his tongue licked wet circles, and when he sucked gently on her tongue, she rose herself to his touch.</p><p>Leaning her forehead against Sidneys, Charlotte breathed heavily, “is this a good place to have sex?”<br/>
“The kitchen counter?” Sidney smiled, kissing her tenderly on her forehead as his fingers began to open the buttons on his shirt - more steadily than Charlotte had done when it was on him last night.<br/>
“Yeah,” Charlotte asked, her hands moving down to the waist band of his boxers and slowly she moved her fingers to draw circles around his hips, “I’m rethinking it.”<br/>
“Don’t worry- I think I’ll manage,” Sidney smirked. </p><p>Buttons undone, Sidney pushed his lips onto Charlottes and ran his finger over her bare skin. He began at the back of her neck, gently lowering her body on the counter as he moved down the middle of her breasts, over her rib cage, to her navel. Charlotte laid back onto the counter expecting Sidney to get on top of her but she moaned out loud instead when his hand slid further down her body and he could feel her wetness on his finger as he ran them over her opening. </p><p>Sidney smirked as he trailed kisses up from Charlottes naval, gently climbing onto the counter on top of her and moved up her stomach. Charlotte instantly pulled his face up when he reached her breasts. She opened her mouth and instantly dove her tongue into his- searching his mouth as if she was looking for treasure. </p><p>As Charlotte moved her hands to move Sidneys boxers down, Sidney gently pressed his lips into her neck and Charlotte had to let go of his boxers as his fingers slid into her wet slit. Charlotte moaned as Sidney gently moved his fingers in and out to pleasure her.</p><p>Feeling herself begin to lose control, Charlotte gasped as she pulled Sidneys boxers down- his fingers deep inside of her. Sidney quickly kicked them off and away. As Sidney slowly pushed his fingers into her over and over again, Charlotte clasped her hand over his hard cock and rubbed her hand along his full length. </p><p>Feeling the need to have him inside of her, Charlotte bent her hips against Sidney and shoved her tongue further into his mouth- kissing him harder. Sidney used both of his hands to grab Charlottes hands by their wrists and moved them besides her head. He moved himself so the tip of his cock could slid into her wet entrance. They moaned into each other’s mouths as Sidney stroked her lips with his and began to gently move his hard cock in and out of her. </p><p>With long, deep thrusts, Sidney moved his hips into Charlotte over and over again. Charlotte groaned out his name and felt her body tremble until she climaxed. Sidney came quickly after and they both fell to lie beside one another on the kitchen island. Catching their breaths and enjoying the euphoria they felt at being besides one another, neither of them said a word for a few minutes. </p><p>Looking around the island, Sidney smiled as he joked, “this is a very large island.”<br/>
“Sidney,” Charlotte giggled, hitting him softly on his chest.<br/>
“I like this Charlotte,” Sidney said, wrapping his arm under her neck and kissing her gently on her head.<br/>
“I like this too,” Charlotte said, moving her head so it rested on his chest. She could hear his heart racing underneath his skin, “Sidney.”<br/>
“Charlotte,” Sidney whispered.<br/>
“I’m not ashamed of this,” Charlotte said carefully, “but can we not tell anyone just yet?”<br/>
“Why?” Sidney asked.<br/>
“It’s just,” Charlotte bit her lip as she chose her words, “yesterday Eliza made that comment about sleeping with the boss and although Tom is my actual boss- and I’m definitely not sleeping with him, it made me wonder how many other people would think the same if they knew about us.”<br/>
“It doesn’t matter what other people think of us Charlotte,” Sidney said, moving his left hand so he could caress Charlottes face.<br/>
“I know that,” Charlotte said softly, “I just want this to be ours for a little bit. Before people start circling us.”<br/>
Sidney didn’t even think before he responded, “as long as there is an us, I’m okay with whatever you want Charlotte.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks again for all the feedback. As always, I appreciate the feedback :) </p><p> </p><p>Title chapter:<br/>Taylor Swift- Epiphany</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Mia & Sebastian’ Theme</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sidney rubbed the back of his neck as he walked into Tom’s office. He had driven into work with Charlotte this morning (dropping her off around the back of the Heritage Site before he drove around the front to park) and assumed he would be able to find a spare twenty minutes to play hooky this morning- like they had done most mornings, but that was not the case. The morning had been chaotic and Sidney had spent most of it confirming orders with vendors, negotiating new sponsor contracts and trying to extend their loans with the bank.  </p><p>It had been almost a whole week since Charlotte and he had decided to start their relationship but their desire to keep it a secret and their desires for each other, meant that their friends had not seen them very much all week. </p><p>Everyday, the two of them left the garage at 5pm sharp. They would go home separately and an hour later either Sidney would go to Charlottes or Charlotte would go to his. They spent their evening chatting over dinner- learning the little things they wanted to know about each other. The time they spent alone together cut through the clutter of the noise their lives carried outside of their bubble. They both cherished their moments together. A lot of their nights were spent wrapped in each other’s arms, loving each other gently, slowly and passionately. </p><p>“Tom,” Sidney said as he walked into the office, straight over to the coffee machine and pouring himself a cup, “I don’t say this often Tom but I finally had a look at the funds raised from the gala the other night and your managed to garner quite a number of new donations.”<br/>
“Yes Sidney, I was waiting for you to bring it up,” Tom smiled proudly, fixing his shirt as he stood up.<br/>
“Not letting it go to your head then Tom,” Sidney rolled his eyes.<br/>
“No brother. You told me to rise up and like a phoenix I rose from the ashes,” Tom said proudly.<br/>
“Yes Tom, ashes that came from a fire you started,” Sidney said in a matter of fact tone.<br/>
“Never mind that, how did you get on with the banks? They have refused to speak with me all week,” Tom said.<br/>
“I have to go to London on Monday,” Sidney sighed, “I’ve set up a couple of meetings with the banks to see if I can plead our case. The good news is that we have a bit of time to work this out. We have enough money to keep this place from shutting and to pay for the race costs. Most importantly we can pay everyone’s salaries.”<br/>
“Yes we can,” Tom said proudly.<br/>
“Bad news is that someone has tipped off the board about our recent financial issues and now I’m being called in to explain whats happening before they sign off on anything,” Sidney said, sipping his coffee as his mind swirled. “Do we know a Samuel Sidaway?”<br/>
Tom pushed out his lips as he thought before shaking his head, “Not a name I can recall.”<br/>
“You signed off his approval on the board Tom,” Sidney said.<br/>
“I told you that was a stressful time in my life Sidney. I may have dropped the ball a bit-“<br/>
“A bit?” Sidney questioned, raising an eyebrow at Tom.<br/>
“Yes a bit Sidney,” Tom said, annoyed, “if you’d been here a bit more Sidney-“<br/>
“If you learnt to live within your means Tom,” Sidney groaned in frustration. </p><p>Tom looked at Sidney in disbelief. He breathed out heavily as he tried to keep his composure. There were many things Tom valued. His family. His work. Most importantly he valued the way he was perceived and with glass walls, he would not make a spectacle of himself in front of employees. Exhaling, Tom rested his hands on his hips, calming himself before he looked up at Sidney with a smile. </p><p>“Come to ours tonight for dinner Sidney,” Tom said, rubbing his hands together.<br/>
“I’m busy Tom,” Sidney said, topping up his coffee.<br/>
“You’ve been busy all week. The kids are missing you. Mary is missing you. Diana is coming into town on Sunday. Let’s have a dinner and discuss that and the business,” Tom said, walking over to his desk to search for some papers.<br/>
“Tom-“<br/>
“Come on Sidney,” Tom said, his voice tight as he looked at Sidney with pleading eyes, “is it too much for me to ask for a little bit of my own brothers time now?”<br/>
Sidney looked out the window towards Charlotte who was working on a car and exhaled sharply, shaking his head tiredly, “fine. I will come tonight.”<br/>
“Excellent,” Tom clapped his hands together, “maybe tomorrow you and the children-“<br/>
“Just tonight Tom,” Sidney said sternly.<br/>
“Well alright then,” Tom said, moving the stacks of papers on his table around as he searched for something, “it’s probably for the best anyway. Charlotte said she would take the kids to the beach in the morning.”<br/>
“Charlotte?” Sidney said, turning to look at Tom curiously now.<br/>
“Yes, she came to drop off something to Mary on Tuesday and Mary told her that we needed to sort out some of the stuff in our attic. Charlotte offered to have the kids for a couple of hours in the morning and before Mary could say anything Henry and the girls were all over Charlotte,” Tom said, “I think Henry might be giving these men a run for their money- he’s rather besotted with her,” Tom laughed.<br/>
“Perhaps I will come around tomorrow then,” Sidney said lowly, a soft smile on his face.<br/>
“Oh I think Charlotte is quite capable without you Sidney. But if you do want to come around, ive had this kernel-“<br/>
“Tom, I’m coming to see the kids,” Sidney said firmly (mentally adding Charlotte to the list), “you just said how much they missed me.”<br/>
“Whatever you please then Sidney, I must go,” Tom said, pulling out a file from the bottom of his third pile, “I’m off to see an investor.”<br/>
“There wasn’t a meeting on the calendar when I checked this morning,” Sidney said, frowning as he looked at Tom, “who is it?”<br/>
“It’s very last minute Sidney, I cant stop to chat,” Tom rushed to say as he walked out of the office and out of the garage. </p><p>Sidney sighed in frustration, balling his fists at his sides as he tried to suppress the feeling of knocking some sense into Tom. Walking over to Toms desk, Sidney glanced over the papers to see what he needed to tackle next. As he did, his mind wondered towards Charlotte and he quickly raised his eyes to find her in the garage. As he did, he bit the inside of his lip to suppress a smile. He wanted to touch her. Speak to her. Hear her voice. But he would not be able to avoid the calls that were still coming through on his phone (which hadn’t stopped vibrating since he stepped into Tom’s office). </p><p>Tapping his fingers on the table, Sidney looked down as he felt the paper against his fingers. He looked at the drawings and remembered Charlotte telling him about the designs she had consulted on with Tom to modify the 66. Looking over her scribbled handwriting, Sidney grinned as he stuffed his hand into his pocket and walked over to the office door. </p><p>“Chief, can I borrow you for a moment?” Sidney said across the garage, “I just need you to approve theses designs for the 66.”<br/>
“Approve the designs?“ Charlotte said in confusion, “didn’t I-“<br/>
“I just have a few questions,” Sidney smiled tightly.<br/>
“Okay,” Charlotte said wearily. </p><p>Instructing Leroy with which valves needed testing on the car, Charlotte walked through the busy garage to the office. Walking into the room, Charlotte was sure to leave the door open- fully aware that she need to practice some restraint and that the glass walls were not enough of a caution to her mouth. Charlotte walked over to the table where Sidney had the car sketches laid out on the table. She moved to stand beside him and in the cover of the tall stacked piles in front of them, Charlotte trailed her hand over to Sidneys, locking her fingers in between his. </p><p>Charlotte heard Sidney chuckle besides her as she studied the images- her scribbled handwriting indicating she’d already approved it. </p><p>“What’s the problem?” Charlotte said, noticing nothing was out of the ordinary on the designs.<br/>
“Nothing,” Sidney said, running his free hand over the curve of Charlottes back as the other remained locked between Charlottes fingers, “I just wanted a minute alone with you- I needed it after my conversation with Tom.”<br/>
“You could have just walked out over to me you know,” Charlotte smiled, biting her bottom lip and lowering her head so no one could see how hard she was blushing.<br/>
“Then I couldn’t say anything dirty because everyone would be listening,” Sidney joked, glancing at Charlotte and pausing as his eyes met her lips, “god do I want to kiss you so badly right now.”<br/>
Charlotte rolled her eyes playfully, “so I was thinking tonight-“<br/>
“About that,” Sidney said, resting his hand on her lower back and returning his gaze to the sketch, “Tom.”<br/>
“What’s he done now?” Charlotte said calmly, removing her hand from his and pointing at something on the sketch to keep up a certain level of pretence.<br/>
“He’s upset I’ve not spent any time with him this week, so I’m having dinner at his house tonight,” Sidney said, watching as Charlotte dropped her eyes to look over the drawings disappointingly, “I’m sorry.”<br/>
“It’s fine,” Charlotte said, forcing a smile on her face and pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.<br/>
“I heard you have the kids tomorrow morning though,” sidney said, smirking as he trailed his hand lower down her back to her ass, “I could meet you after dinner and then we could take the kids out to the beach together in the morning.”<br/>
“Sidney, I’m a grown girl. I’ll be alright by myself tonight,” Charlotte smiled softly, “and as far as accompanying me with the kids tomorrow, I’d rather you didn’t.”<br/>
“Why?” Sidney said, scrunching his nose in disappointment.<br/>
“Because if you come, i won’t really be watching the kids because like now, your hands will be trailing my body in very testing places and I can’t exactly say ‘hey kids build a sandcastle while uncle Sidney and I just go inspect that old changing room stand over there’ can I?,” Charlotte said seriously.<br/>
“Fair point Heywood,” Sidney laughed, rubbing the back of his neck, “then I want to take you out tomorrow night.”<br/>
“Take me out?” Charlotte looked at him curiously.<br/>
“Yes. Like a date,” Sidney said.<br/>
“Sidney,” Charlotte stretched out his name, her mind already telling her it was a bad idea.<br/>
“It won’t be here in town. Somewhere no one will know us,” Sidney said, looking at Charlottes face and already reading her mind, “but I want to do it and you can’t say no to me. I’ll pick you up at 6,” Sidney tightened his grip around Charlottes ass as Charlotte rested her hand over his again on the table, “and wear something nice- preferably make it easy enough for me to take off later.” </p><p>The sound of footsteps approaching made Charlotte pull her hand off the top of Sidneys and Sidney off of Charlottes ass. </p><p>Clearing his throat, “brilliant! I’ll sign off on these today and hopefully the investors will make the necessary arrangements.”<br/>
“Great! I better get back to work,” Charlotte said, biting her lip to try and hold back the beaming smile she wanted to give Sidney.<br/>
“Mr Parker,” Stringer said, gently knocking on the open glass door, “can I come in and discuss Crowe’s recent medical?”<br/>
“Of course,” Sidney said, watching Charlotte as she walked out the room, past Stringer. </p><p>Charlotte looked back over her shoulder as she walked over towards the car, smiling softly. Her stomach was filed with butterflies as she excitedly thought about tomorrow night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title:</p><p>Justin Hurwitz- Mia &amp; Sebastians Theme (La La Land)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Maybe I’m Amazed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wrapping a towel around her wet hair, Charlotte stepped out of the bathroom into her room. </p><p>She had spent the morning with the Parker Quadruple on the beach. She was only meant to keep them for a couple of hours and feed them lunch but the five of them got so carried away that it wasn’t until two o’clock that Charlotte realised she was meant to have gotten them home an hour and a half ago. </p><p>After a cup of tea at Mary’s insistence, Charlotte got home at half three- giving her two and a half hours to get ready for her date tonight. The first thing Charlotte did was strip her bedsheets and put on a fresh pair of linen. She was very aware of the direction she wanted tonight’s date to go in and wanted to be prepared. To be on the safe side (well aware of hers and Sidneys inability to control their urges), she also cleaned her living room and put any loose objects from the shelf into a draw- including a few of the bibles that were there- just to be safe. Charlotte then quickly jumped into the shower to clear the sand from the day. The children and her made sandcastles, before Alicia, Jenny and Henry decided they wanted to bury Charlottes legs under sand- which Charlotte enjoyed until James decided to put sand into her hair. Now, Charlotte felt like she couldn’t get it out however much she tried.</p><p>Stepping into her room, Charlotte pulled out her hair dryer, threw the towel from her hair into the laundry basket and quickly dried her curls. Walking to her draws, Charlotte slid on a pair of lace black panties and a matching black bra. She was about to head over to her wardrobe when her phone buzzed. She walked around to her bed side table and smiled when she saw Sidneys name on her screen. </p><p>“Hello Mr Parker,” Charlotte said. They had been texting most of the morning but this was the first time she was hearing his voice today and she had really missed.<br/>
“Chief Heywood, I’m just calling to make sure you remembered our date,” Sidney said.<br/>
“How could I forget after the hundreds of messages you’ve sent me throughout the day,” Charlotte laughed as she walked over to her wardrobe.<br/>
“Good point,” Sidney said and Charlotte could just imagine him smiling right now.<br/>
“How was dinner last night?” Charlotte said, running her hand over her dresses to find something to wear. Sidney let out a loud groan through the phone and Charlotte laughed, “that well?”<br/>
“Tom just kept going on about these new plans he has and is driving me insane,” Sidney said.<br/>
“Why don’t you just tell him no?” Charlotte asked.<br/>
“If I just let him run the idea dry we’ll be fine- I’m sure something else will take his fancy soon enough,” Sidney said casually, “he can’t sign off on it without mine and Arthur’s approval and Arthur is fully aware that he can’t sign anything without consulting me first.”<br/>
“Sounds stressful,” Charlotte sighed.<br/>
“It is. Plus he keeps banging on about this investor that he met today- but he won’t tell me who it is, although I have a bit of an idea,” Sidney said, “and the thing that really gets me going is how he just expects me to click my fingers and get him money from my magical money tree...”</p><p>Sidney continued to complain about Tom and Charlotte put him on speaker. She could tell Sidney was annoyed and needed to get it out his system, so all she did was listen. As she looked through her wardrobe, Charlotte found an olive green, chiffon dress and pulled it out. It was a knee length, A cut dress with black lace finishing the bottom hem. Charlotte thought it would be perfect and instantly threw it on. Sidney was still talking as Charlotte began to apply her make up- nothing too over the top. Before Charlotte could put on her lipstick, she heard a loud knock at her door. </p><p>“Sidney, I’ll ring you back- there’s a knock at my door,” Charlotte said, grabbing her phone off the dresser as she got up to move.<br/>
“Cool. I’ll be there at six- don’t forget,” Sidney said.<br/>
“I don’t think you’ll let me,” Charlotte joked. </p><p>Sliding on her fluffy pink slippers, Charlotte threw her phone onto her bed and quickly made her way to the front door as she heard it knock again. Pushing her hair back over her shoulders, she was surprised to see an unfamiliar man standing on her door step in just a plain black shirt and trousers as she opened the door. </p><p>“Hi,” Charlotte said hesitantly.<br/>
“Miss Heywood?” He asked, looking at his phone screen.<br/>
“That’s me,” Charlotte said,<br/>
“Flower delivery,” he said, turning around and grabbing a clipboard and bunch of flowers, “please sign here,” </p><p>Taking the clipboard and pen from his hands, Charlottes eyes stayed firmly planted on the gorgeous bouquet of roses in his hands as she signed the papers without giving it much thought. Her stomach was beginning to buzz as she felt giddy at the thought of Sidney sending her a bouquet as beautiful as that. Handing him back the clipboard, Charlotte waited for him to hand her the roses. </p><p>“Where do you want them?” He asked.<br/>
“Oh, i’ll put them on the coffee table myself thanks,” Charlotte said, taking the flowers from his hands and instantly pulling out a rose so she could smell its sweet scent.<br/>
“That’s probably helpful,” he said.</p><p>Charlotte looked at him in confusion as he dropped the clipboard on the trolley behind him and began shuffling into Charlotte’s home- pulling the trolley along with him. Charlotte moved to the side of the door in wonder, as she watched him walk into her open living room. Just as she was about to say something she was interrupted.</p><p>“Excuse me Miss,” another voice popped up. </p><p>Charlotte turned on her heels and saw another man pulling a trolley into the room. Charlotte moved to the side of the room- too stunned to say anything and watched the men move around the room quickly. Roses still in hand, Charlotte watched the two men pull all sorts of flowers out and scattered them densely around the room. Her coffee table quickly filled with freesia, daisies, alstroemerias and peonies. Her tv stand had a lined up display of lillies, sunflowers, orchids and carnations and soon enough, her window sill and bookshelf were also covered in based flowers. Once the room was entirely filled with flowers, the men bid Charlotte a good evening and left. Charlotte just stood there and looked around the room. She felt like she was standing in a technicolour garden as the floral scent settled into the room.</p><p>Looking down at the roses in her hands, Charlotte pulled the little card that came with out and eagerly read it. It simply said “Yours Sidney”. </p><p>Beaming Charlotte, bit down on her lips as she looked around the room. They were all from Sidney. Charlotte could feel her heart beating faster as she grew in excitement to see him. To touch him. To kiss him. Looking around the room, Charlotte was trying to think of where to put the roses but when she struggled to find a quick spot, she decided to carry them with her to her room. Putting them in a pot of water besides her bed, Charlotte grabbed her phone off her bed and immediately dialled the last number on her call log. As she waited for him to answer the phone, she checked herself in her mirror. Picking up a nude lipstick she carefully put it on before puffing up her hair with her hand again. </p><p>“I said I’d be there at 6, give a guy a chance Charlotte,” Sidney chuckled as he answered the phone. The way his voice echoed, Charlotte knew he had her on speaker in his car.<br/>
Charlotte glanced at the clock, 5:45, “Never mind that Sidney, my living room looks like a garden- a very beautiful garden, but you know one bouquet of flowers would have done,” Charlotte laughed, walking over to grab her clutch off of her bed but stopping to run her fingers over the soft petals of the roses.<br/>
“Yes I could of just got you a bouquet but as I stood in the shop to get you your favourite, I hit a problem,” Sidney said.<br/>
“And what was that?” Charlotte asked, kicking off her slippers and slipping on her heels.<br/>
“I didn’t know your favourite,” Sidney laughed, “so naturally I asked the florist to get one of every type so I had a fair chance of getting it right.”<br/>
“What happens if you still haven’t managed to find my favourite?” Charlotte asked cheekily.<br/>
“Then you’ll just have to find a way for me to make it up to you,” Sidney said, “Come open the door, I’m pulling up outside.”</p><p>Charlotte dropped her phone and lipstick into her clutch bag and walked to her front door. Before she opened the door she nervously checked her hair, makeup and dress once more in the full length mirror on the wall next to the entrance. The butterflies in her stomach were really fluttering tonight. She had been with Sidney many times but today felt different. Today they were leaving the comfort of their homes and going out. And despite Charlotte’s initial reluctance, she was very excited about it. To be able to hold him without fear of their relationship being used against them. </p><p>“Heywood,” Sidney whistled as she opened the door. His eyes looked her up and down and for a minute he scratched his head in awe before speaking again, “can I cancel our plans out?”<br/>
Charlotte laughed as she ran her hand up the front of his suit jacket, “I spent a while getting ready and you wanted to do this, so no.”<br/>
Sidney stepped into her house and shut the door behind him with his foot, clasping her cheeks in the palm of his hands and looking into Charlottes deep brown eyes as he said, “you look beautiful.”<br/>
“Not so bad yourself,” Charlotte replied, taking note of his black, slim fit suit and his tieless white shirt. </p><p>Sidney pushed his lips onto Charlottes. Time slowed down for a moment and Charlotte was beginning to realise this was just an effect that Sidney had on her. Time alway slowed down when he was around but somehow time also moved too fast and Charlotte clawed at her memory to play the moments back. </p><p>Slipping his tongue into Charlottes slightly open lips, Sidney pulled her closer by the waist. Charlotte gently but down on Sidney’s bottom lip and began to suck on it. Deepening their kiss, Sidney moved his tongue inside her mouth as if he was searching for something until Charlottes tongue met his and they tied themselves together. As they kissed more passionately, Sidney began to move Charlotte backwards into the living room. </p><p>“I can be quick,” Sidney whispered into her ear before he began to trial kisses down her neck.<br/>
“Quick could be good,” Charlotte said, instantly moving her hands to his belt. </p><p>As Sidney moved her backwards and kissed her neck, Charlotte felt her heel hit something and then began to laugh against Sidneys skin. </p><p>“The living room isn’t quickie proof anymore,” Charlotte smiled.<br/>
“Bedroom?” Sidney said, looking around and admiring the work he had paid for.<br/>
“I want to, but I’m thinking about creases now,” Charlotte said, running her hand along the collar of his suit jacket.<br/>
“I should of just planned for dessert,” Sidney chuckled.<br/>
“Yes but this was a lovely idea and I really want to do it,” Charlotte said. </p><p>Sidney kissed Charlottes forehead before intertwining his hand into hers. As Sidney began to pull her along to his car, Charlotte could feel the magic in the air. She had felt it when he first arrived and thought it was from the way that Sidney had kissed her but she knew it was more than that. </p><p>She could feel this in the silence. She could feel it whenever he was with her and even more when he was not. She could define this even when the lights went out. As she slipped into his car, everything felt so much clearer and suddenly Charlotte understood why some people lost their minds and others spent their whole lives trying to put these feelings into words. </p><p>Looking over at Sidney sat in the drivers seat besides her, Charlotte knew. </p><p>She was in love. </p><p>True love.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for following along guys! </p><p> </p><p>Title:<br/>Paul McCartney- Maybe I’m Amazed</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Earned It</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlotte weaved her hand tightly around Sidneys arm as the two of them began to walk on the broken, cobbled streets along the river bank. </p><p>Sidney had driven the pair twenty minutes out of Sanditon to a small town. Charlotte had never been here- not that she had been to many places since she had arrived in Sanditon, and found herself looking around in awe at all the boats in the harbour as they walked. The sun was still high that mid August evening and Charlotte enjoyed the gentle breeze against her skin as Sidney led the way. </p><p>Arm in arm and the sweet scent of Charlottes perfume wafting through the cool, summer air, Charlotte beamed as she listened to Sidney talk about his childhood memories. </p><p>The Parkers had come here many times as children as their father owned a small boat on the harbour- nothing extravagant (which Sidney emphasised many times) but big enough for the four of them and their parents to set sail once every couple of weeks. They had sold the boat shortly after his mother died but Sidney said he treasured those afternoons where they set sails and he was a pirate- able to forget any worries and just think of the voyage ahead. </p><p>Charlotte listened carefully, looking up at Sidney’s face and enjoying the way that his face animated as he recalled his memories. Charlotte noticed the way his eyes light up at the mention of his parents and the lines that came sometimes at the mention of Tom.  Generally, the lines around Sidney’s eyes did not stop forming as the corners of his mouth tugged to form a perfect smile. Occasionally, Sidney threw his head back to laugh like a little kid and Charlotte beamed. She liked seeing him like that. At peace.</p><p>“What?” Sidney said, looking down at Charlotte besides him as he felt her eyes on him and suddenly felt like he had forgotten something.<br/>
“Nothing,” Charlotte smiled, squeezing his arm, “I’m just happy.”</p><p>Sidney smiled like a little school boy. Leaning down he pushed his lips onto Charlottes and passionately kissed her- slow and tender. He desperately wanted more- and so did she, but they both knew they were standing in the middle of a public path. </p><p>Resting his forehead against hers for a moment, Sidney cleared his throat before saying, “Here we are.”</p><p>Charlotte reluctantly turned her face away from Sidney’s and looked around their surrounding. There was a row of houses that sat on one side and boats that sat on the other. The sun was beginning to set along the shoreline and Charlotte could see the orange sun settle on the blue canvas like a candle slowly burning. Unable to spot (or even smell) any food, Charlotte turned to look at Sidney with a raised eyebrow. </p><p>“Are we eating on the path?” Charlotte mused as she looked around.<br/>
“On board that boat,” Sidney said, walking towards a small, red and black canal boat. </p><p>Charlotte stood there for a moment- slightly startled by this new information. She stared at the boat in disbelief. It wasn’t a large boat- maybe large enough for eight people but it was certainly ready for a date with string lights hanging from the rails and a visible bottle of wine on ice. Charlottes heart was racing beneath her chest and her breath got heavier. This was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for her. </p><p>Sidney looked at her nervously as he noticed Charlotte hadn’t moved. He cleared his throat softly for a moment. Afraid he’d made a bad decision. </p><p>“I thought you said you didn’t own a boat?” Charlotte asked curiously as Sidney helped her on board.<br/>
“I do not. It’s Crowe’s and he’s letting us- well me, borrow it,” Sidney said, intertwining his hand around Charlottes as he pulled onto the front of the boat.<br/>
“This is great,” Charlotte smiled, “what’s for dinner?”<br/>
“Oh that’s a surprise Charlotte,” Sidney said, handing her a glass of red wine- noting that it seemed to be her favourite.<br/>
“A surprise?” Charlotte asked, raising her eyebrow curiously at him.<br/>
“Well I’m going to be making it for you,” Sidney said shyly.<br/>
“You can cook?” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Why are you so surprised?” Sidney laughed.<br/>
“I don’t know, I just never took you for a cooking kind of guy- besides those pancakes but that was cheating since Mary had left the batter in your fridge,” Charlotte giggled.<br/>
“Well you have a lot to learn about me still then, haven’t you Miss Heywood,” Sidney smiled.<br/>
“That I certainly do,” Charlotte whispered. </p><p>Sidney went to the boat controls and seamlessly manoeuvred the boat out of the dock and into the mouth of the sea. Charlotte walked through the kitchen to see if she could guess what he was making as he did. She could see basil and tomatoes, some pasta and mince and had a fair idea they’d be dining Lady and the Tramp style tonight. </p><p>The boat stopped a fair way away from land. Charlotte soaked in the salt air. </p><p>Sidney dropped his suit jacket onto the seat behind the steering wheel and rolled up his sleeves as he walked into the small kitchen and dining area of the boat. As he rolled up his left sleeve, he looked at Charlotte and quickly stole a kiss- aware that if he stopped for too long, they wouldn’t be eating until the early hours of the morning. </p><p>As she watched Sidney cook, Charlotte sipped on her red wine. Sidney had spoken a bit about how he had learned to cook at university and had much he had improved from his days of beans on toast and pot noodle. As the smell of Italian herbs filled the cabin, Sidney turned the conversation towards Charlotte- intrigued to learn more about her. </p><p>Charlotte talked about how liberal her father was and how he inspired her thrill for driving. It was in the back of a truck that Charlotte first got the bug- holding onto her older brothers hand tightly as their father zipped past the cows towards their farm house. From there, Charlotte began to driver the various vehicles on the farm and soon learned to tinker with the engines- picking things up from the various auto books in their home. The speed she used to get on the tractors, as she raced on the family farm in Willingden, were some of Charlottes favourite memories. </p><p>As their conversations often did, Charlotte began to talk about work. She was excited to tell Sidney about the modifications she had made on the 66. To anyone else, they would just smile and nod at Charlotte, not really sure what she was going on about (much like her old boyfriend Connor used to do or her best friend Clara did when Charlotte used to come home from the Mercedes garage to tell her about her day). But Sidney understood. He knew. He listened. He cared. </p><p>Listening attentively, Sidney carefully put the spaghetti and sauce onto plates (aware he did not want to get anything onto his shirt and also thinking he should have worn an apron). As Sidney put their dinner down on the table- spaghetti meatballs (one of the only things he could actually make well), Charlotte smiled and poured him a well deserved glass of wine. </p><p>“I made the changes on the 66 and when Leroy finished his tests on it yesterday, he said I could take it for a test run on Monday,” Charlotte said excitedly, tucking into her meal, “he said there was a dirt path just at the edge of town where you guys used to really take the cars for a test run back in the day. He said we could go there.”<br/>
“Leroy is taking you to the dirt track?” Sidney said, freezing slightly.<br/>
“Yeah. He said the 66 should be able to handle more than a race track,” Charlotte began to laugh, “Maybe I’ll have made the 66 so fast that I can hit 512mph and beat O’Neil to become the fastest woman driver there is- though I don’t think the 66 is adapted to hit that.”</p><p>Rubbing his fingers over the edge of the wooden, fitted dining table, Sidney sat quietly for a moment. If Charlotte was on the dirt track, then he wanted to be there- not in a stupid meeting in London. But he didn’t even want her to be on the dirt track in the first place. Too many things went wrong on dirt tracks when drivers could let loose and test beyond the limits of the cars and their owns capabilities. Sidney knew that. He’d seen it happen.</p><p>Sidney took a big gulp as he thought and Charlotte stopped talking once she noticed the way Sidney had withdrawn from their conversation. </p><p>“What’s wrong?” Charlotte said, moving her hand so she could clasp it over the top of Sidney’s.<br/>
“Umm,” Sidney said, thinking cautiously and unable to make eye contact with Charlotte, “I don’t want you to drive the car Charlotte.”<br/>
“What?” Charlotte said.<br/>
“I just don’t think it’s safe,” Sidney sighed, finally turning his face to look up at Charlotte.<br/>
“Safe?” Charlotte scoffed, pulling her hand back from Sidney’s, “Sidney you drive the cars around the circuit almost daily. You reach 190/200 easily. That doesn’t exactly scream safe. And don’t even get me started on the number of times I’ve seen you and Crowe try and egg each other on when your both behind that wheel.”<br/>
“It’s different Charlotte,” Sidney said, dropping his fork and breathing heavily.<br/>
“Different?” Charlotte spat.<br/>
“Yes different,” Sidney said louder than he intended.<br/>
“Why?”<br/>
“Because you are Charlotte. You and I are different,” Sidney said loudly.<br/>
“Why because I’m a woman?” Charlotte said, aware she was shouting now too.<br/>
“No because I love you,” Sidney shouted before he could stop himself. </p><p>Charlotte sat in her chair without uttering another word. She let his words soak into the air. He loved her... and she loved him. Nothing else seemed to matter. </p><p>Sidney was the first to break their silence. </p><p>“Look, when I was younger, my dad was an engineer for a race team in London- much like you are now. I used to go with him to the race track and the garage all the time and watch him,” Sidney smiled softly as he focused on his plate on the table, “One day, he got in the car on an open dirt track and went round and round and round. The first few times, he let me go with him but then he dropped me back to the start and told me to wait next to his friend and Tom, while he took it for one full spin to really test its ability. He took it for a spin... and it spun out of control. The car went straight up in flames. No one even had the chance to try and save him.”<br/>
“I’m sorry Sidney,” Charlotte said, quickly reaching her hand out to grab his.<br/>
“I went into cars to keep his memory alive. I spent obsessive hours remaking the car he died in- make it better and safer, because that car consumed years of his life. He thought it was the greatest thing he would ever make,” Sidney said, exhaling deeply.<br/>
“The 22?” Charlotte whispered.<br/>
“The 22. When I took that out for a race a few years ago- thinking I could win in my fathers car, it spun out and flipped off of the course. They got me out before it went to flames but I was in hospital for weeks trying to recover,” Sidney said.<br/>
“Why keep the 22 then? Why rebuild it?” Charlotte asked curiously as Sidney intertwined his fingers between hers.<br/>
“It reminds me of my dad... his dreams and the fuel he alway smelt of when he got home. It reminds me of the things I’ve lost and the things that were burnt to ash. But also from the death of that car, I finally... truly felt alive. Like I finally found my purpose,” Sidney said, turning to look into Charlottes eyes.<br/>
“Sidney,” Charlotte exhaled.<br/>
“I don’t like anyone getting behind a wheel. My dad died in a car. My friends have died in cars. I almost died in a car. I love you and I don’t want to lose you. Not to a stupid car,” Sidney said.<br/>
“I get it,” Charlotte said, “but it’s my job to drive the cars.”<br/>
“I know,” Sidney sighed.<br/>
“I’ll be careful though- maybe avoid the 500 marker,” Charlotte joked, making Sidney smile.<br/>
“I would appreciate that,” Sidney said, leaning over the table to kiss Charlotte. </p><p>Charlotte could feel the electric surge bolt through her body as she kissed Sidney back more deeply. Slowly, and without moving her lips from his, she got out of her seat and slid onto his lap. She bit softly into his lower lip and was excited when he slid his tongue into her mouth and wrapped his around hers. As she ran her hands through his hair, Sidneys hands fell down her waist and slid over her thighs. He pulled at the material gently before slipping his hand under her dress and reached for her panties. As his hands travelled up, he gripped onto her ass and Charlotte let out a soft moan into his mouth before moving her head back to look at him. </p><p>“I really wish we were near land right now,” Charlotte said, as she rested her hand on his neck.<br/>
“There a fresh bed in the back,” Sidney said.<br/>
“How long do we have the boat?” Charlotte asked.<br/>
“However long we want it,” Sidney smirked. </p><p>Getting up Charlotte pulled Sidney up by his hand and pressed her lips against him, her lips craving to feel every inch of his skin against her. Sidney lifted Charlotte by the waist and carried her to the bedroom- their lips never leaving the others until he laid her down on the bed. </p><p>As Sidney took off his shirt, Charlotte looked at him. All the tall walls she had built up in her previous relationship were taken down. She wanted him to know her. To leave the door open for him to find her most inner thoughts. There were butterflies in her stomach- not from nerves but the beautiful kind you got when you were making up for lost time. Biting on her bottom lip, Charlotte felt her breath catch in her throat. </p><p>“Sidney,” Charlotte said, almost nervously.<br/>
“Yeah,” Sidney said, dropping onto the bed on top of her.<br/>
“I love you too,” Charlotte whispered almost breathlessly.</p><p>Sidney looked her in the eyes for a moment, sliding his fingers into her hair before he gently kissed her lips. Charlotte opened her mouth slightly, inviting Sidney into hers. Sidney slid his tongue into her mouth and Charlotte intertwined hers around his- kissing him passionately. </p><p>Moving his hands around her thighs, Sidney gripped onto the hem of Charlottes dress and wasted no time in removing the offending fabric and throwing it back over his shoulders. As they kissed, he moved his fingers slowly along her skin and Charlotte felt herself trembling at every touch. She groaned into his mouth as his hand slid lower and lower down her body and Charlotte felt like her body was burning as Sidney began to trail kisses along her shoulders.  </p><p>Sucking softly on her skin, Sidney felt the thin lace of Charlottes bra under his fingers and gently pushed her back by planting kisses along her neck and trailing them down between her breasts. Charlotte bent back and moaned softly as she felt his tongue press against her skin. Full of desire, Sidney slowly licked the top of Charlottes soft breasts and was extremely aroused when he heard her moan his name. </p><p>Swiftly moving his hand to her back, Sidney unclasped Charlottes bra and threw it to the side. Charlotte was breathing hard, her chest moving up and down as Sidney trailed kisses up from her naval before stopping just below her breast and kissing the soft skin. Charlotte was breathless- electrified from the feeling of his beard against her sensitive skin. Sidney didn’t stop there for long, sliding his lips over her breast. He used his tongue to play with her nipples and suck her breasts slowly. Groaning, Charlotte arched her back in pleasure as Sidney took his time to explore her.</p><p>Unable to wait any longer, Charlotte pulled Sidney by the hair until he raised his head to hers.  He came closer and closer to her lips, kissed her gently and stroked her skin with his beard. She could fell his fingers running across her ribs and sliding under her breasts and up to her nipples. They groaned into each others mouths as they kissed passionately; Charlotte searching for his tongue and stroking him with hers. </p><p>With shaking fingers, Charlotte trailed her hands down the side of his ribs towards his hips. She scrunched her nose when she felt her fingertips touch the fabric. </p><p>“Why do you still have pants on?” Charlotte moaned as Sidney sucked her neck.<br/>
“Your too slow Charlotte,” Sidney laughed as he moved up neck to her lips. </p><p>Charlotte moved her hands quickly to rectify the situation. She shakily undid his belt and quickly unfastened his zip. Pushing down the waist band of his trousers, Sidney’s boxers came down with his trousers and Charlotte was pleased when Sidney assisted in kicking them off. Moving her hand along his thigh, she moved it closer and closer his sensitive area before she held his hard cook in her hand and gently moved her hand up and down its length. </p><p>Moaning into her mouth, Sidney pulled back slowly. He moved his hands down over her ribs, past her naval and slowly pushed them down to the waistband of her panties. Sidney lowered his head and gently placed kisses on her stomach as he slid his fingertips under the waistband of her lace panties and trailed them lower and lower. Gently, he stroked his fingers down her middle and opened her slit slightly under her panties with his fingertips and heard her moan. </p><p>Charlotte gasped his names and felt her back arch as he moved his fingers into her sensitive parts. Sidney was only moving his hands lightly- practically stroking her, but Charlotte was weak at the knees. Grabbing him by the back of his neck, Charlotte pulled his head to hers and deeply kissed him- her tongue playing with his as their lips moved hungrily against each other’s. Sidney moved his hands to pull down Charlottes panties, and as she kicked them off, she could feel his hardness pressed against her thigh and it made her greedy for more. Charlottes hands clasped around Sidneys shoulders, pulling his closer to her so she could feel his hot skin against hers. </p><p>As his fingers slid down to her thighs and spread her legs further apart, Charlotte groaned and bent her head back. She closed her eyes and whimpered as Sidney crawled down again. He was kissing her breasts with lust, sucking hard on her nipples, before he slid his body between her thighs.</p><p>When her body relaxed from the excitement slightly, Charlottes fingers grabbed into his curls.  She pulled gently, pulled his head to hears and sucked on his lips. Moaning, Sidney devoured her mouth and let his tongue slide into her mouth.  She retuned his kiss just as passionately, rubbing her hips on his insanely hard cock.</p><p>Charlotte grabbed Sidney’s shoulders and pressed against them, until he dropped onto his back besides her wait a low moan. Carefully she hovered her body above him as she planted kisses all over his chest. </p><p>When their eyes met again, Sidney moved his hips so that his tip pressed lightly against her opening and waited a moment for Charlotte to lock her eyes with his before he carefully entered her with a deep thrust. Charlotte let out a large moan and soon their voices mingled in the air as Charlotte moved Sidney slowly and gently in and out of her. </p><p>Flipping her over, Sidney continued to fill Charlotte with long, deep thrusts- hitting all the right places again and again. Charlotte could feel herself about to explode as she felt an indescribable sensation wash over her senses (leaving her too breathless to say anything but Sidney’s name). </p><p>Charlottes heart was racing as Sidney continued to thrust into her. His lips never parted from hers as they moaned into each other’s mouths, Sidney could feel her walls close around him and when he heard her cry out his name, he thrusted into her deeply one last time before he groaned in pleasure and buried his head into her neck as he came undone. </p><p>Breathlessly, they stayed next to each other until they caught their breaths. </p><p>“I really do love you Sidney,” Charlotte said, running her hand over his bare chest.<br/>
“That’s good,” Sidney said, flipping Charlotte over on the bed and hovering over her, “because I really love you too.”</p><p>Sidney planted soft kisses in the crook of Charlottes neck and they went all over again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for all the lovely feedback guys- I really appreciate it. </p><p>Title:<br/>The Weeknd- Earned It</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Mess Is Mine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tying up her hair, Charlotte smiled as she slid on her helmet. </p><p>She had promised to be cautious today and after going over a few safety checks with Leroy (ones that he said Sidney had insisted on when he got wind of their plans), Charlotte was buzzing to go. The car tests were usually the most tedious part of building the cars. Engineers didn’t usually test- they just fixed, but Charlotte was thrilled to be able to finally get behind the wheel again and let rip on the track. A dirt track with fewer restrictions no less. </p><p>Stringer and Arthur had both accompanied Charlotte to the track with five of the other engineers and mechanics as well as Leroy. The dirt track was only ten minutes from the Heritage site. </p><p>Waiting for Leroy to just confirm the tyre compound would with stand the dirt track ground, Charlotte looked around. Stringer had dropped his Medical bag beside him and sat in a camping chair. He spoke briefly with Arthur (who stood besides him with a glass and bottle of wine in hand) before pulling out a newspapers. Most of the other men hung back. They had set up the machines so they could watch and track Charlottes progress around the track. </p><p>Slipping into the car, Charlotte checked over the controls and the oil before she even thought about setting off. </p><p>“Be careful Charlotte,” Arthur said, sipping on some wine as he crouched down besides her.<br/>
“It’s 10 am Arthur,” Charlotte said, looking at him almost in shock.<br/>
“My sisters coming. You’ll understand why I’m drinking when she arrives,” Arthur laughed, taking another sip.<br/>
“Can’t wait,” Charlotte smiled wearily.<br/>
“I’m only joking, she’s the best. I’m drinking because I need wine to get through all this car stuff,” Arthur chuckled.<br/>
“As long as your not behind a wheel Arthur, you drink as much as you want,” Charlotte said, checking the stiffness of her breaks.<br/>
“Now, Sidney told me to tell you to be careful because we could be sued,” Arthur said, resting his hand on his waist as he stood up, “I’m telling you to be careful as well because I don’t want to miss my drinking buddy.”<br/>
“When have we ever been drinking buddies?” Charlotte laughed.<br/>
“The gala counts since you shared some interesting secrets with me then Chief Heywood,” Arthur giggled.</p><p>Charlotte tightened her grip around the steering wheel of her car and was about to open her mouth to ask him what he knew, but Leroy’s voice boomed “ready” before she could get there. </p><p>Shaking off the thought, Charlotte pushed her foot down on the accelerator gently and began to move off towards the make shift start line. Once Leroy gave her a few instructions, Charlotte put her foot on the accelerator and began to form rings around the dirt track. The point of the exercise was not only to test speed but to ensure the 66 would be reliable- ensuring the systems they had been working so hard on were correct. </p><p>As Charlottes speed got faster and faster, Arthur listened to the engineers around him talk numbers. They were there to check that the numbers Charlotte was hitting correlated with real life numbers (speed, tyre pressures and oil checks). Arthur could see the aero rakes working and the colour splatters of the flow-vis paint (trying to listen as the engineer next to him as he explained the air superstition pattern to him). Arthur zoned out quickly though and sipped on his wine with some agitation. The car was getting faster and Arthur’s heart was beginning to panic. Sidney would kill him if anything went wrong. </p><p>Charlotte could feel the breeze of the wind through her helmet as she went round and round. She had been in the car for almost an hour now and besides one small stop to just check the tyres, she was enjoying working the car. Charlotte hit the 200 mph mark quite early on and as much as she wanted to go faster, she stopped herself. This wasn’t a time to be reckless. </p><p>As Charlotte edged over towards the tent where everyone was standing, she watched a silver sports vehicle pull up. Her foot still on the peddle, Charlotte watched as two woman stepped out of the car. Her brain frazzled for a moment as she recognised one woman from the wall of Tom’s house- his sister Diana (Charlotte assumed), with no other than Eliza. </p><p>Too distracted by the women, Charlotte felt the car begin to pull and just as her mind snapped back into driver mode, she could do nothing but watch the car spin off the track in circles as she sat strapped inside. </p><p>“Charlotte!” Arthur shouted as he ran over to the smoking car with the rest of the team.</p><p>Charlotte sat in the car for a moment as she gathered her thoughts. Her head aching from the force in which the car moved and her head jingled in the helmet. As she began to slip the helmet off, she could feel a set of hands tugging at the seat straps.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Leroy rushed to say.<br/>
“Charlotte are you good?” Arthur called out.<br/>
“Get her out so I can check her,” Stringer instructed.</p><p>In the sea of voices, Charlotte felt her head hurt even more. Her first thought though, was to check the car and see that it was okay. As hands moved all around her, Charlotte glanced at the controls of the car and could smell the exhaust fumes in the air. Other than that she was pleased the car was fine.</p><p>“Boys, I’m fine,” Charlotte said, swatting away the hands on her and sliding out the car all by herself. </p><p>As she got out, a number of hands moved to help her stand up- as if they thought she was a porcelain doll about to crumble as her foot touched the ground. Charlotte shook her head and stood proudly by herself.</p><p>“Let me check you over,” Stringer said, moving to stand besides Charlotte.<br/>
“I’m fine,” Charlotte smiled weakly, “you can check me when we get back. I’m honestly okay. I just lost focus for a second.”<br/>
“You had us all worried Charlotte,” Arthur sighed in relief.<br/>
“Entirely my own fault,” Charlotte said, looking at the relief on everyone’s face around her, “no one is to mention this to Mr Parker- either of them.”<br/>
“Charlotte we have to tell Sidney,” Arthur argued.<br/>
“We tell Sidney and we’ll all get told off. I’m fine. No harm done to me or the car. Our little secret. Understood?” Charlotte said, looking around at them all. When no one responded, she rolled her eyes and repeated, “Understood?”<br/>
“Yes Chief,” they all shouted back in unison. </p><p>Charlotte sighed in relief. The fault was entirely hers. She let Eliza get in her head. She knew Sidney was already worried about her driving in the first place. He really didn’t need him to worry about her still feeling jealous over Eliza as well. Charlotte was certain of Sidney’s feelings for her and she of her feelings for Sidney but Eliza had a way of making Charlotte feel uneasy. Like this oasis she and Sidney had built for themselves was made of paper cards- ready to drop at the push of a single breath. </p><p>Arthur was staring at Charlotte as the other men returned to work. He looked at her curiously for a moment before turning to follow her line of direction. As he turned, Arthur sighed in frustration at the sight of a woman he had learnt to hate (and he generally hated no one) walking slowly towards them with his sister. </p><p>“Diana,” Arthur said in a pitch far too high as he hugged his sister, “and Eliza.”<br/>
“Hi Arthur, I forgot you were on the dirt track and as I got to the garage look who I bumped into,” Diana said, opening her eyes wide at Arthur and he automatically realised what had happened. Diana had been stuck.<br/>
“I heard about this little outing and I simply had to come,” Eliza smiled tightly before looking over at Charlotte, “look at you, you sweet little thing playing with the boys toys.”</p><p>Looking around, Arthur knew he needed to move the ladies quickly. He had always been told to keep Eliza at arms length from the business and looking at his poor sister, her hands shaking and her skin as pale as a ghost, he wanted to distract them. Glancing at Stringer, who had sat back down in the camping chair with a parasol propelled above him to protect him from the sun and beginning to fill out some paperwork, Arthur immediately had an idea.</p><p>“Diana. Eliza. Let me introduce you to Dr Stringer,” Arthur beamed, as he pulled on Diana’s arm to lead her away from the track, “he’s excellent.”<br/>
“Shouldn’t we make sure the lady driver is okay?” Diana asked looking at Charlotte, “I’ve heard of all the things that can go wrong with these cars. Strap burn, whiplash, nauseating headaches, concussions-“<br/>
“Chief Heywood is quite alright I can assure you, aren’t you Charlotte,” Arthur said quickly.<br/>
“I’m fine,” Charlotte smiled softly. </p><p>As Arthur pulled Diana away (hoping that Eliza would just follow as she usually did), he was disappointed to glance back and see her walking towards Charlotte and the car. Arthur wanted to walk over to her but with Diana gripping onto his arm for dear life, he knew he couldn’t leave her- not when Eliza had clearly already unsettled her nerves and the incident with Charlotte making them no better. </p><p>“My dear, isn’t my latest investment just exquisite,” Eliza said, pushing up her black sunglasses as she stood besides Charlotte.<br/>
“Latest investment?” Charlotte asked cautiously.<br/>
“Yes my dear,” Eliza said, turning to look at Charlotte, “I own shares in the company and just spoke to the board this morning about this new vehicle.”<br/>
“The 66?” Charlotte questioned.<br/>
“Yes that,” Eliza said looking down at the car, “thought I should see it before someone totals it in a crash.”<br/>
“No ones going to ruin the car,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“You just spun it off after a joy ride,” Eliza laughed, “Besides which, my husband has a habit of ruining pretty things- just look at me.”<br/>
“I’m sure it will be fine,” Charlotte said, trying her best to remain calm but feeling her blood begin to simmer in her veins.<br/>
“How is it working here Charlotte? No more trouble since our last conversation I hope,” Eliza asked, resting her hand in the pocket of her white shorts.<br/>
“Nope,” Charlotte said, keeping it brief as she placed her helmet on her seat.<br/>
“Thats good,” Eliza smiled, “My Husband will be most pleased when I report back to him that there are no complaints.”<br/>
“Did you want to know anything about the car?” Charlotte asked, keen to change the subject.<br/>
“I have no interest in boys toys, you sweet little thing,” Eliza smiled, looking at the dirt track.<br/>
“Then why are you here?” Charlotte asked.<br/>
“To check on my husband,” Eliza said nonchalantly.<br/>
“If you feel the need to check up on someone, it doesn’t sound like a very healthy relationship,” Charlotte muttered, but Eliza heard every word.<br/>
“You know how we get,” Eliza smiled, “we fight. We argue. We break up. We give it a few weeks and then we’re back together again. It’s our pattern.”<br/>
“Okay,” Charlotte said, trying her best to not give into Eliza’s attempts of small chat.<br/>
“I saw you,” Eliza said, watching Charlotte as she moved her hands around the car.<br/>
“Saw me?” Charlotte asked, focusing her attention on the controls.<br/>
“At the gala. With my husband,” Eliza said, raising an eyebrow, “He was wandering off again.”<br/>
“If he wanders so much why don’t you just leave him?” Charlotte asked, crossing her hands over her chest and looking directly at Eliza.<br/>
“He wanders. I wander. In the end he always comes back to me. I mean look at our history- we’ve broken up and I even got married once before and yet we’ve always found our ways back to each other. He waited ten years for me, so what if I have to wait a few months for him to bore of his sweet little things,” Eliza smirked, “You’d be wise to remember that Miss Heywood. He always comes back to me.” </p><p>Even through the black sunglasses, Charlotte knew that Eliza was giving her a once over. Her blood was boiling and she so desperately wanted to scream and shout, but Charlotte seemed unable to move. Eliza had given her a warning and Charlotte felt it sting her heart. Sidney was still her husband. Sidney did go back to her time and time again. Charlotte knew she could not dispute that. And even as she knew Sidney loved her, Charlotte could not help but feel like she still had something to lose. She still had Sidney to lose. </p><p>As she stood there watching Eliza walk away on her high heels, Arthur walked over to Charlotte swiftly with a very full glass of wine in his hand. </p><p>“Ignore her,” Arthur said, coming to stand next to Charlotte.<br/>
“What?” Charlotte said, too busy watching the back of Eliza walk away to look at him.<br/>
“She’s not worth the stress Charlotte. Not when Sidney’s with you now,” Arthur sighed, sipping his wine.<br/>
“Wait,” Charlotte instantly turned to look at him, “how do you know that?”<br/>
“I banged Sid,” Arthur chuckled, “there’s not many Sidneys or Sids in the area Charlotte- I should know considering our families lived here since I was what... 8.”<br/>
“I thought you hadn’t heard,” Charlotte blushed.<br/>
“At that moment I was far too busy trying to save my own life from my brothers, to be concerned with the fact you were banging one of them,” Arthur chuckled.<br/>
“Let’s not bring that up again,” Charlotte said swiftly, pulling the tie out of her hair.<br/>
“Really Charlotte, don’t worry about Eliza. She’s a leech,” Arthur said, “once Sidneys love is lost from you, it is lost forever.”<br/>
“Yeah but you don’t have to love someone to be a problem,” Charlotte sighed, “she wants to make things difficult and Arthur she is right sometimes. I’m technically having an affair.”<br/>
“Charlotte there is no black and white to this situation. Just a lot of grey area. Just remember my brother is in love with you and that is all that matters,” Arthur said.<br/>
“How do you know he’s in love with me?” Charlotte asked, smiling up at Arthur curiously.<br/>
“My brother told me to tell you to be careful because he was worried about being sued. One, he’s not the kind to worry about being sued- especially when a human life is involved. Two, not once has he ever told me to come down here and watch Leroy in action- does he think Leroy is not going to sue us the same as you?” Arthur chuckled, “love doesn’t come easy Charlotte, but it is certainly worth it when it does.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for all the comments.</p><p>Title:<br/>Vance Joy- Mess is Mine</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. London Calling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sidney sat impatiently in his lawyers office at 9 am on a Monday morning. He had very reluctantly left Sanditon at 6am to beat the morning traffic into London. He and Charlotte had spent the entire weekend together and as he slipped out of her bed in those early hours, he wished for nothing more than to slide back into their secret oasis immediately and never leave the warmth of her side again. </p><p>Tapping his fingers on the table, Sidney looked out of the floor to ceiling windows and wondered why Susan had called him in so urgently. He had put the thought of his divorce from his mind for the most part of the weekend. When Susan had called Friday afternoon, he was anxious but as he got to planning his date with Charlotte, he realised it did not matter in that moment. </p><p>Now the thought was one of many that ran through his mind. </p><p>“Sidney,” Susan said cheerily as she walked into her large corner office. </p><p>Susan was holding a coffee cup and files of paper in her hands as she walked in. Her assistant Rose was trailing behind her and reading out random memos off of sticky notes. Sidney nodded in acknowledgment of her but did not say anything until Rose left the room and Susan was settled behind her desk (taking her first sip of the now cold coffee- it had already been a busy morning). </p><p>“I’ll cut to the chase Sidney, we’ve found why she’s hanging on,” Susan said, settling into her black chair.<br/>
“Besides my obviously irresistible charms,” Sidney joked. Even in the midst of Eliza’s insanity he needed to find some form of light.<br/>
“Yes besides that,” Susan laughed before straightening up in her chair, “Eliza brought the shares for the Parker One under the Campion shell company after your accident. You never had a prenup but before your wedding, her company drew up an agreement to protect her business.”<br/>
“So?” Sidney said, shrugging his shoulders as he slouched into his chair.<br/>
“Someone very clever had protected those shares for you by saying that in the first three years of the marriage you would have the controlling interest in those shares,” Susan said proudly.<br/>
“Why did you do that?” Sidney asked curiously, resting his fingers over his lips.<br/>
“Because that would stop her from selling them,” Susan said, sipping her coffee.<br/>
“Well if I control them, then can’t I sell them back to myself?” Sidney asked.<br/>
“I’m afraid not. When we protected the buying and selling of the shares from her, they protected the shares from you. You can make decisions that will make her and the company money but no one can buy or sell the shares,” Susan explained.</p><p>Sidney sighed nonchalantly. He looked around Susan’s office and stared at the university degree on the wall. Oxford university with a first in law. Next to the framed doctorate was a photo of Susan and her firm partner Tim Maudsley. Sidney smiled at himself for a minute. Why would Susan take on so many cases when she could have an easy ride? She was the lady of a grand estate and although Susan hated the  title, Sidney knew that it brought with it wealth and position. Susan didn’t need to work- let alone as hard as she did. Not that he was going to complain because she was the best (and Sidney often needed the best). </p><p>“What does this have to do with her giving me a divorce?” Sidney asked, sitting up in his chair.<br/>
“That clause runs out in exactly a year and then she’ll have the controlling interest of that 15% in your company,” Susan said, dropping a file in front of Sidney.<br/>
“But between Tom, Diana, Arthur and me, we still control 70% of the company,” Sidney said, picking up the file and reviewing the highlighted passages.<br/>
“Technically, you only own 25% of the company Sidney. Your desire to get this divorce over with meant you agreed to some ridiculous terms because you were too angry to listen to me,” Susan sighed, resting her arms on the table.<br/>
“But I never agreed to give away the company,” Sidney said, looking up at Susan.<br/>
“No but you agreed to give half your shares away. With that 12 or so percent and the 15 she’d already own-“<br/>
“She’d have a higher stake but it’s not the controlling stake,” Sidney said, slamming the file in his hand shut.<br/>
“Not the controlling but with the support of your shareholders- who are already putting pressure on your board of directors, she could control over 42% of your company and become a permanent thorn in your side,” Susan said.<br/>
“It’s not the controlling stake though,” Sidney said, chucking the file onto the table.<br/>
“Yes but when Tom signs off on most of the papers, you and I both know Sidney, it might as well be,” Susan sighed, “Plus, she doesn’t need a controlling stake to make life very difficult for you at the company. She’ll have sway.”</p><p>Sidney sat in silence for a few minutes as he thought. He had shared a lot of history with Eliza. They had known each other since they were thirteen and he had pinned for her most of his life so far. When he was eighteen and off to university to learn about business, Eliza knew he wanted to create a formula one team. Keep his father memory alive. She left him and returned but not once did that goal of his change. Now she was using his goals against him. </p><p>“She’s knows how much this company means to me,” Sidney whispered, staring at the file on Susan’s table.<br/>
“I think that’s what she’s betting on Sidney,” Susan said.<br/>
“But why?” Sidney sighed, “Were making money by engineering car’s for other companies but we haven’t won anything yet? We have no real value.”<br/>
“I don’t know the complex inner workings of that woman’s mind but you know just as well as I do, this is a game of show for society. She doesn’t get you so she gets a nice divorce settlement. Your company is new but prestigious Sidney. People know the Parker name amongst the races. It’s another notch on her belt. We knew she was going to be trouble when we walked into this,” Susan said.<br/>
“How do we stop it?” Sidney asked, rubbing his hand along his beard in frustration.<br/>
“I’ve switched our grounds for divorce. Adulatory wasn’t working. She kept denying it and without concrete evidence the judge just isn’t buying it. We’ll work on unreasonable behaviour. I filed the papers and they have 28 days to respond. I’ve passed the business side of things over to a colleague- Louis is excellent with business law, and I’ll see if we can find a chink anywhere,” Susan explained, giving Sidney a wink of assurance.<br/>
“If you can’t?” Sidney asked.<br/>
“Worst case you lose the shares and she makes your life more difficult,” Susan said, “I’m hoping we can find a way for her to sell them to you before that happens though. The battle is not yet lost.”<br/>
Exhaling sharply, Sidney sighed, “Thank you Susan,” checking his watch- he had been there for over an hour and was going to run late for his next meeting if he didn’t get his skates on.<br/>
“You know she’s still insisting she’ll give you her shares and ask for nothing if you agree to give this another chance,” Susan said as Sidney pushed his chair back.<br/>
“I don’t want to,” Sidney said, looking down at his lap and just smiling, “I cant.”<br/>
“Is that an actual smile I detect Mr Parker?” Susan smirked while raising her eyebrow, “well I hope to meet her one day.”<br/>
“What?” Sidney said, looking up at Susan instantly.<br/>
“A man only smiles like that when he’s in love,” Susan said, “I’ll see you Mr Parker.”</p><p>***</p><p>After his meeting with Susan, Sidney went directly to speak with his bank manager in an attempt to make up the rest of the funds Tom had squandered. Sidney was hoping to transfer the debt into his name- he had a good credit relationship with the bank and they were far more likely to trust him than Tom. However, after nearly two and a half hours in the bank, it was a bust- with no extension available for Tom’s loans on their company account and an in-depth view of their transaction history instead, Sidney could do nothing but wait. </p><p>Sidney was sat in his London office waiting for the newest board member to make their meeting. Staring at the model of the 22 on his desk, Sidneys mind wondered back to Sanditon and Charlotte. It was three o’clock. Had she ridden the dirt track? Was she okay? Had something gone wrong and that’s why she hadn’t called yet? Or even texted? He had been too busy in mind bogglingly boring yet important meetings with other investors, sponsors and promotors, to think of Sanditon and Charlotte earlier. Busy and a little afraid. Every time he thought of Charlotte and the track his mind went to the worse case scenario. He had asked Arthur to watch out for her today- spewing some line about how the company would be sued if things went wrong but Sidney didn’t care about the company money. He cared about Charlotte. </p><p>Unable to take the silence, Sidney picked up his phone from the table and began to unlock it just as a knock came at the door. The sound pulled Sidney out of his thoughts and immediately, he said ‘come in’,  getting out of his seat to greet a sharply dressed man. </p><p>“Mr Sidaway,” Sidney said as cheerily as he could, holding out his hand to greet the man.<br/>
“Mr Parker,” he said coldly, carrying a thick file under his arm.<br/>
“Please sit,” Sidney said, gesturing to the seat on the other side of the desk as he took his own, “Can I start by welcoming you to the Parker family business. It’s great to have you on board- I’ve heard many great things about you,” Sidney said, trying to turn on the charm offensive.<br/>
“Thank you Mr Parker but I prefer to get right down to business,” Sam said, opening his files and laying them down onto the table as he pulled out his reading glasses from his inner pocket.<br/>
“Fair enough. What can I do for you today Mr Sidaway?” Sidney said, rubbing his hand against his chin.<br/>
“Where should I start,” Sam muttered and instantly Sidney was nervous, “I’ve been brought into the company due to my background in finance. I think, to be 100% transparent, I should say that the position was offered to me by various shareholders in the company- though I am not at liberty to say who.”</p><p>Sidney nodded his head in acknowledgment, already beginning to put the pieces of the puzzle together. </p><p>“When I took on this role, I was doing due diligence and checked through the paperwork. There was nothing out of the ordinary,” Sam began, “but last week I had been given some information which prompted me to look a little deeper.”<br/>
“A tip off?” Sidney asked.<br/>
“There were a number of discrepancies,” Sam continued, ignoring Sidneys question entirely, “A large number of funds have been floating between company accounts for quite a while now but generally speaking, two out of the three accounts seem to be running very dry.”<br/>
“And how can I help you with this?” Sidney said, “wouldn’t you be better directed to an accountant?”<br/>
“Ordinarily yes but on this occasion I felt it best to bring it you,” Sam sighed, “Simply put Mr Parker, I want to know where that money is.”<br/>
“Well if your insinuating I have it-“<br/>
“You have signed off on every piece of paper related to it Mr Parker. You and a Mr Thomas Parker... so I am suggesting you have it,” Sam said, sliding the papers over to Sidney.<br/>
“What?” Sidney practically snatched the paperwork.<br/>
“This is me giving you a formal notice that you and Mr Thomas Parker are being investigated, Mr Parker. As part of the enquiry, the board and I will be visiting the site to speak with employees,” Sam said, pulling out a yellow slip from his file and laying it on the desk.<br/>
“Look, we’re sorting out the finances. Tom had a family issue and the finances dropped but he did pull in more donor money from the gala. We are speaking with banks to rectify this,” Sidney began to argue, but even his mind was running as he saw just how high Tom had run their tabs.<br/>
“I’m afraid it’s too late. We’ve received concern from one particular shareholder and as with procedure, we must start a formal investigation,” Sam said., reaching for his files on the desk and slowly beginning to stack them neatly into a pile.<br/>
“A board member? You mean Eliza right?” Sidney gritted furiously.<br/>
“I’m not at liberty to say,” Sam said, keeping his eyes on the papers in front of him.<br/>
“Well I refuse. I won’t allow you to carry out the investigation or speak to my employees,” Sidney said, throwing the papers in his hand onto the table.<br/>
“You cannot overrule our decision Mr Parker- not directly anyway,” Sam smiled, “we control the strings- that’s our job. To make sure everything is right and proper.”<br/>
“These are baseless rumours made by my very vindictive ex wife,” Sidney almost shouted, sitting up straight in his chair.<br/>
“Your assuming it’s your wife Mr Parker,” Sam sighed, grabbing hold of the files.<br/>
“Ex wife,” Sidney gritted, “and I don’t need to make assumptions. There is no one else who would take the time to make up such ludicrous accusations.”<br/>
“So the company doesn’t have a history of having certain financial troubles? These financial documents I’ve shown you are forgeries?” Sam asked.<br/>
“No but-“<br/>
“Therefore we will be investigating your financial records before we agree to any more funds being released,” Sam said, standing up without a second thought, “We’ll be in touch Mr Parker.”</p><p>As Sam began to leave the room, Sidney stood up and watched the door shut behind him. He was seething. What the hell had Tom gotten them into this time? Grabbing the single file Sam had left behind for him, Sidney picked it up and glanced over the numbers. Furious at the number of zeros after each number, Sidney threw the papers up in the air out of frustration. Letting out a shout, Sidney began to inhale and exhale- calming himself down. Going around the table to his seat, Sidney checked the time- four o’clock. He had enough time to make some calls and try to weave them out of this mess. Grabbing the phone off his table, Sidney got to work, tapping his fingers on the buttons as quick as he could. Time was of precious commodity. </p><p>The clock was ticking near nine when Sidney let out another loud growl. He had hit yet another dead end. Standing up, Sidney walked over to his window, stuffing his hands into his pockets, and stared out at the London streets below him. The street lights were on. There were crowds of people rushing to somewhere and the grey skies concealed the people stepping out from their rainy cab rides. Sidney’s eyes focused on the single couple walking slowly through the crowds like they had all the time in the world. </p><p>Smiling at himself, Sidney turned quickly on his heels and threw the mountain of paperwork on his desk swiftly into his briefcase. Checking he had everything, Sidney slid his car keys off his office desk and practically flew down to his car. He had had enough of this tiresome day and he knew exactly where he wanted to be at that moment. </p><p>Speeding down the M25, Sidney drove in autopilot mode. The roads changed from packed city streets to winding country roads, and Sidney pushed his foot further on the accelerator as he edged towards Sanditon. He was in a rush to get home. </p><p>Pulling his car into the parking spot, Sidney ran towards the bungalow and breathlessly knocked the door. The wait for the door to open allowed him to catch his breath and as the wooden red door swung open, Sidney exhaled in relief as he saw her face.</p><p>“Sidney?” Charlotte said, rubbing her tired eyes, “what are you doing here- it’s like eleven?”<br/>
“I just needed to see you,” he whispered, instantly relaxing.<br/>
Charlotte smiled weakly, “I’m really tired,” resting her head into Sidneys chest as he stepped into her hallway, but too tired to actually raise her arms and hug him.<br/>
Sidney chuckled softly, “I’m sorry to have woken you. I just needed to be close to you.”</p><p>Grabbing his hand gently, Charlotte pulled Sidney along with her towards her bedroom. Sidney followed happily. </p><p>“We’re sleeping,” Charlotte whispered loudly, as she slid into her side of the bed and raised the duvet so he could come in next to her. </p><p>Sidney smiled as he kicked off his shoes, and threw his suit over the empty chair next to him. In just his boxers, he slid into the bed next to an already sleeping Charlotte. He wrapped his arms gently around her waist as he rested his head in the crook of her neck. He wanted to tell her about his day, but there would be time for it tomorrow. </p><p>For now, he just wanted to be home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title:<br/>The Clash- London Calling</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. How Deep Is Your Love?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Title:<br/>Calvin Harris &amp; the Disciples- How Deep Is Your Love</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sun slowly began to creep in through the sky light when Sidney woke up at 5am. He turned his head to look at a peacefully sleeping Charlotte. Her chest moved up and down slowly and Sidney naturally synched the rhythm of his breath to hers. </p><p>Sidney liked the early mornings. They brought a serene quietness that provided perhaps too much time to think about the way the morning light warmed through all the empty space and glittered in the sea on the beach (where Sidney would ordinarily have taken a swim if he had woken up alone, at home, at this hour). </p><p>After peering through the stack of books beside Charlotte’s bed (having slowly read almost all the books beside her bed from all the times he had been here), Sidney finally moved from the bed at 6:30- moving as quickly and quietly as he could so he did not wake or startle Charlotte in her sleep. </p><p>After using the bathroom as quietly as he could, a boxer-clad Sidney tip toed to the kitchen- passing the garden of flowers he had sent Charlotte. As he stood at the kitchen door, he watched a petal fall from the lillies to the ground. In hindsight, Sidney thought, perhaps that many flowers wasn’t a great idea- especially as there was nowhere to sit (or make love) in the living room now. And who would be cleaning up the flowers when they all shed their beauty?</p><p>Sidney quickly found his way around the kitchen. He poured the coffee beans into the coffee machine and watched as the water turned from clear to black. As he settled against the kitchen cupboard, coffee in hand, Sidney checked his phone messages. He had forget entirely about his phone once news of Tom’s financial incompetence hit yesterday. As he scrolled through the names, he generally dismissed them- knowing they could be dealt with later, and only stopped when he stumbled upon Arthur’s message.</p><p>‘Eliza came to the track. Hope Char is okay. Art’</p><p>Letting out a groan, Sidney tightened his hand around his phone and it took a lot of restraint for him to not throw it across the room in frustration. Eliza just couldn’t help but stick her ore in. And why was she here now anyway, Sidney thought- she already had her claws in the company, what else was she trying to achieve this week? On top of that, he needed to see Tom. The investigation of the company was not good and if word got out that their team was being internally investigated, it could affect their chances of competing. Standing there, pondering his thoughts, Sidney was too far away to notice Charlotte walking into the kitchen, half an hour after he had first made his way there. </p><p>“Morning,” Charlotte yawned, standing in front of Sidney.<br/>
“Good morning,” Sidney said, leaning forward and pecking Charlotte on the lips.<br/>
“Did you sleep okay?” Charlotte asked, taking the coffee cup from Sidneys hands and sipping. Charlotte grimaced, “this is tar.”<br/>
“Sorry,” Sidney sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, “I wasn’t paying much attention.” </p><p>Squeezing his arm gently as she passed him back his cup, Charlotte moved around the kitchen to make more coffee. She refilled the machine with fresh beans and stood beside it as the smell of fresh coffee hit the air and smothered the room with its wakening scent. As she poured herself a fresh cup, she looked at Sidney who was staring at a tile on the floor- clearly miles away. </p><p>“Hey are you okay?” Charlotte said, running her hand along his jaw.<br/>
“Yeah,” Sidney said, “why wouldn’t I be?”<br/>
“You look out of it Sidney. What happened in London?” Charlotte said, meeting Sidney’s eyes.<br/>
“I’ll tell you if you tell me?” Sidney said, “what happened on the track- no one messaged me about the actual test.”<br/>
“That was fine,” Charlotte smiled, turning to walk away.<br/>
“Really?” Sidney said skeptically, grabbing her hand and turning her back to face him.<br/>
“Yes it was fine,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Arthur sent me a message,” Sidney said.<br/>
“Did he now?” Charlotte said, rolling her eyes, “And what did he say?”<br/>
“That Diana actually wanted to see me since I missed her on Sunday and that she swung by the track yesterday with someone,” Sidney said, raising an eyebrow.<br/>
“Eliza did turn up,” Charlotte said nonchalantly.<br/>
Sidney stood in silence for a minute and tried to read Charlottes expression (but she gave nothing away), “are you okay?”<br/>
“I’m fine,” Charlotte smiled tiredly.<br/>
“Are you sure?” Sidney said.<br/>
“She was just her usual vexing,” Charlotte shrugged.<br/>
“Charlotte,” Sidney said, grabbing her cheek, “what did she say?”<br/>
“Nothing important,” Charlotte said, taking as sip of coffee.<br/>
“Charlotte,” Sidney said, dragging her name out like he alway did when he wanted her to talk.<br/>
“She just knows all the buttons to push Sidney,” Charlotte sighed.<br/>
“I know,” Sidney said.</p><p>Charlotte pulled Sidney to the table and they sat besides one another in silence. Sidney stared at Charlotte. He could see the doubt beginning to form in her mind but he could also the love they shared in her eyes as she looked at him. He wanted to wrap himself around her and tell her she was everything to him. He wanted her to know everything would be okay. But he just kept losing his words- not sure where to start. He so wished he could shut his mind off and just get Charlotte to hear his heart breathe because he didn’t want to lose this. He didn’t want to lose Charlotte. </p><p>“Did what she say change this?” Sidney ask nervously.<br/>
“She didn’t... it wasn’t... I’m still in this Sidney. I really am,” Charlotte said, running her index finger around the rim of her cup.<br/>
“But?” Sidney said, staring at Charlotte with a stilled breath.<br/>
“But it’s hard when she pops up all the time and says things like I’m just a toy for you to play with until you get bored,” Charlotte said quickly, her words laced with irritation, “I just... I want this... I just don’t like the uncertainty that comes with it.”<br/>
“Charlotte I’m not going anywhere,” Sidney said, rubbing his thumb along the back of her hand.<br/>
“You can’t promise that,” Charlotte sighed, titling her head as she looked at him, “especially when there are like... so many people desperate to catch your attention, I’m actually pretty sure that everyone who sees you wants you,” Charlotte laughed softly.<br/>
“They can want Charlotte,” Sidney said, “But I don’t want anyone else- even if Jessica Alba walks into this room right now, I would say no. No other woman will do.”<br/>
“Poor Jessica Alba,” Charlotte smiled.<br/>
“Poor Jessica Alba,” Sidney laughed. </p><p>Charlotte looked at Sidney with a smile as she sipped slowly on her coffee. Her last relationship left holes in her confidence. How could she ensure she was enough when she hadn’t been before? Especially when the women who threw themselves at Sidney were like supermodels? When Eliza was still tied to him? Shaking the thought from her head, Charlotte looked at the clock on her kitchen wall. 7:30 am. </p><p>“We better get ready for work,” Charlotte said, standing up.<br/>
“I’m going to Tom’s. London meant all signs point to him,” Sidney sighed.<br/>
“Did he do something else?” Charlotte asked.<br/>
Sidney looked at her and decided that he would save her from the burden of his additional family drama, “it’s just Tom being Tom.”<br/>
“Well, we’ve got to get ready for work anyway,” Charlotte said, grabbing Sidneys hand, “I need a shower and there’s enough time for a quick one.”<br/>
“I need a shower,” Sidney sighed, tiredly- missing Charlottes play on words.<br/>
“Good job mine fits two,” Charlotte said, laughing.<br/>
“Seriously?” Sidney said curiously, suddenly feeling very awake as Charlotte pulled him along.<br/>
“Shhh,” Charlotte muttered.</p><p>Turning around to face Sidney as they came out the kitchen, Charlotte pressed her lips into his as she held onto the back of his neck. Sidney immediately responded, feeling the goosebumps on Charlottes skin as he trailed his hands down her arms to her waist. Picking her up, Sidney heard Charlotte moan as he planted kisses along her neck and Charlotte wrapped her legs around his waist. </p><p>Putting her down in the bathroom, Sidney trailed his lips down Charlottes neck and began to tug at her night shirt. Undoing the buttons, Sidney sucked slow kisses along her shoulder blade but stopped as the shirt feel down to the ground- his eyes catching on the faint blue lines. </p><p>“Charlotte, why are there bruises on your neck?” Sidney asked, his nose scrunched as he slid his hand over her shoulders.<br/>
“Nothing,” Charlotte murmured, beginning to move her hands down his ribs and moving to kiss him on his neck.<br/>
“They look fresh,” Sidney said, trying to look at them but getting distracted by the touch of Charlottes tongue on his bare skin.<br/>
Charlotte slowly moved her hand into his boxer (she had learnt exactly how to distract Sidney by now), “it’s nothing.”<br/>
“Charlotte,” Sidney moaned as he felt her hand move along his length. Exhaling, Sidney considered reverting the conversation but Charlotte had found his weak spot, “we’re coming back to this.”<br/>
“Sure,” Charlotte said as she pressed her lips against his. </p><p>Gently pushing her body into his, Charlotte tugged on Sidney’s bottom lip before she hungrily entered his mouth. Slowly, Sidney began to move his lips from hers and moved along her bare skin as they stepped back and into the walk in shower. Sidney’s lips were wet against Charlottes soft bare skin; his open mouth kissing her shoulder blade as his hands wrapped around her waist and landed on her stomach. Charlotte ran her hand through his curls and pulled his lips up to hers- kissing him passionately. </p><p>Sidney slipped his hand down Charlottes stomach, over her navel, to her most sensitive part as the cold water hit their skins. Charlotte moaned into his mouth, as he gently stroked her wet folds and pressed against her entrance. Pushing her tongue into his mouth, Charlotte kissed him harder.</p><p>As the water warmed, Sidney pushed Charlotte against the shower wall. Charlotte wrapped her hands around his shoulders and pulled him closer to her. Their desire for one another was strong. Moving his hands to her ass, Sidney lifted Charlotte slightly and softly moved so that the tip of his cock slid into her entrance. </p><p>The warm water cascaded down on them, running over their bodies, Charlotte moved her hips to drive Sidney deeper inside of her. Looking up at him, Charlotte could see the drops of water running down his face, dripping at his chin and falling off his toned abs. She bit her bottom lip as she took it all in before she pulled him in closer and pushed her lips gently onto Sidney’s.</p><p>Both full of intense desire, they moved their hands all over each others bare skin. Sidney licked Charlottes lips as he reached for her breast and gently massaged it. They both moaned into each other’s mouth as Charlotte bent against him- lusting after more. </p><p>Gently moving her hips against him, Sidney began to move with deep, long thrusts. The two of them moaned into each other’s mouths and they moved in sync until they both exploded. Their bodies trembled with pleasure as they climaxed. Breathlessly, they both found each other’s lips and kissed desperately under the warm water- their problems washing away for the moment. </p><p>The two of them stood in the shower for an additional ten minutes. Sidney tenderly lathered Charlottes body- his hands making sure her breasts were extra clean. Charlotte ran her hands through his soft curls and enjoyed the feeling of his hands on her bare skin. </p><p>“Tom and Mary invited you to dinner on Friday by the way,” Charlotte said as Sidney kissed her neck from behind.<br/>
“Not another one,” Sidney groaned.<br/>
“I’m going as well,” Charlotte laughed.<br/>
“I could make that fit into my schedule then,” Sidney smiled, wrapping his arms around her waist, “how come Tom told you?”<br/>
“I was at Tom’s for dinner last night. Arthur and Diana insisted I go- I like Diana very much by the way, besides the fact that she tried to run a full medical test on me and told me about illness’s I’m pretty certain I don’t have,” Charlotte said, holding in a laugh.<br/>
“She’s been like that since our mum died from lymphoma. She’s on edge,” Sidney sighed.<br/>
“Sorry,” Charlotte said, turning around in his hands to look at him.<br/>
“It’s not your fault,” Sidney said, kissing her on her lips.<br/>
“I know.. but it’s still a little sad,” Charlotte said, turning the tap off, “we better get going.”<br/>
“Yeah,” Sidney said, throwing his head in a groan. </p><p>***</p><p>“Tom!” Sidneys shouted as he walked into Trafalgar house. </p><p>Dropping his suit jacket onto the coat rack, Sidney made his way over to Tom’s office- practically stomping as he walked there. He had just seen Mary and the four youngest Parker’s jumping into the car as they left for the school run. After a brief hello, Mary squeezed his arm (as if she knew Sidney was here to shout at Tom). </p><p>Walking into Tom’s office, Sidney went straight to the drinks cart where a fresh pot of tea was sat. He could hear Tom scrambling around with papers on the desk behind him but Sidney decided to take a moment to calm himself. Stirring the milk into his tea, Sidney began to stroll over to Tom’s desk. </p><p>“Sidney,” Tom said, looking up from his papers, “what are you doing here?”<br/>
“I saw you had a meeting scheduled at your house and thought I’d pop over for a chat before you could make another excuse to put me off Tom,” Sidney said, settling into the chair with his tea.<br/>
“I can speak later Sidney, I have a rather pressing meeting now,” Tom said, standing up and clasping his hands as if he were finished with their discussion.<br/>
“Im a patient man Tom,” Sidney said, putting his feet up on a small stool besides him, “I can wait for your meeting to be over if you’d prefer. You won’t even know I’m here.”</p><p>Tom stood there in frustration. He exhaled sharply, fiddled with the papers on his desk and stared at the small clock on the mantle piece as Sidney loudly sipped on his tea- enjoying the way he was driving his brother insane slowly with the sound. </p><p>“Fine,” Tom said, throwing his hands in the air, “what is it?”<br/>
“The money Tom,” Sidney said, placing his cup on the table and crossing his hand on his stomach as he stretched.<br/>
“What about it?” Tom said, scratching his head.<br/>
“Where is it all gone?” Sidney said.<br/>
“I told you Sidney,” Tom began, “it was a stressful time-“<br/>
“Tom the company is so dry of funds right now it would probably make Arthur a rather splendid martini. Every bank has refused to extend or take on our loans. We have no more creditors and the board are refusing to share funds pending an investigation,” Sidney said, his tone sharp and clear, brewing with frustration.<br/>
“An investigation?,” Tom exclaimed, his browns furrowing with panic as he though, “We’re not criminals!”<br/>
“You forged my signature on multiple documents Tom- you are a criminal,” Sidney shouted.<br/>
“You were busy. I didn’t want to bother you,” Tom said, trying to justify himself.<br/>
“You were lazy Tom and cutting corners,” Sidney sighed.</p><p>Tom stood tall on the other side of the desk as Sidney groaned in frustration. Sitting up in his seat, he took the moment of silence to think. If he shouted at Tom, he would get nowhere and Sidney needed to be prepared for when the investigation started if he had any chance of saving the company. Rolling his eyes, Sidney looked at Tom.</p><p>“Look Tom. The only reason we’re in this business together is because you saved it from debt once before,” Sidney said.<br/>
“That I did,” Tom smiled, taking a seat in his chair,<br/>
“You also put it in debt- twice now Tom,” Sidney said sternly, bringing Tom back down to Earth,”now why did you borrow so much money Tom?”<br/>
“I’m not allowed to say Sidney,” Tom said, rubbing his forehead.<br/>
“Tom,” Sidney shouted, standing up and leaning over the desk, “don’t test me right now.”<br/>
“Sidney,” Tom said, getting up and walking around the table. He held Sidney by the shoulder and looked him directly in the eyes, “trust me.”<br/>
“Tom it’s hard to do that when I’ve just learnt of the fact we’re practically running a million pound company on zero,” Sidney said, pushing Tom’s hands off his shoulder.<br/>
“Just trust me,” Tom said, winking. </p><p>The blood was pumping in Sidneys veins as he felt the steam begin to blow from his ears. Sidney was about to open his mouth but a squeaking voice distracted him.</p><p>“Boys,” Eliza smiled. </p><p>Sidney groaned inwardly. He rubbed his hands on his temples as he looked over to Tom. Tom was trying to look everywhere but at Sidney, raising up and down on his heels nervously. </p><p>“What is she doing here?” Sidney asked.<br/>
“That’s no way to speak of your wife Sidney,” Eliza smirked.<br/>
“Tom,” Sidney said sternly.<br/>
“I have a meeting with Eliza,” Tom smiled tightly, scratching his head.<br/>
“Your joking right,” Sidney almost laughed.<br/>
Tom gave Sidney a hug and whispered, “Trust me brother.”</p><p>Sidney sighed outwardly as he watched Tom walk over to the tea pot in order to look for a distraction. Rolling his head, he could feel Eliza standing there- staring at him. He needed to leave. </p><p>“I’ll just get some more tea for our guest- Sidney just five more minutes please,”  Tom said, rushing out the room.</p><p>Resting his hand on his hip, Sidney exhaled in frustration. He didn’t want to see her. He didn’t want to know her. He wanted her shackles to be released from him. Reluctantly, Sidney dropped down into the seat next to him as Eliza sat on the chair besides him. They were both staring blankly at the fireplace in front of them- Sidney refusing to make eye contact and wishing for time to move faster.</p><p>“And how are you darling,” Eliza said, breaking their silence.<br/>
“Every time I think you can’t sink lower, down you go Eliza,” Sidney gritted.<br/>
“What have I done now?” Eliza laughed.<br/>
“You know how much this company means to me and now your trying to take it from me,” Sidney said, anger burning in his veins.<br/>
“I’ve offered it back Sidney,” Eliza said.<br/>
“Your terms are unreasonable,” Sidney muttered furiously as he finally turned to look at her.<br/>
“Unreasonable only to you,” Eliza muttered, checking her nails as she waited.<br/>
“Eliza, do you have nothing better to do than be a bitch?” Sidney shouted, pushing his seat back as he stood, “its bad enough you go after me but the company, that stupid investigation, my family. That bloody stunt you pulled yesterday at the dirt track with Charlotte-“<br/>
“Charlotte,” Eliza smirked looking up at Sidney.<br/>
“Charlotte,” Sidney exhaled, knowing he’d just made a grave error in judgement- exposing too much.<br/>
“The thing about your sweet little Charlotte,” Eliza began, walking over towards a heavily breathing Sidney, “is that I haven’t mentioned her to the board yet, but I’m sure they would be curious to know what she and you are up to.”<br/>
“Don’t,” sidney breathed as he looked down at her.<br/>
Eliza trailed her fingers up his shirt, “Would I?”<br/>
“What do you want?” Sidney said in a business like tone. </p><p>Sidney stared down at Eliza as her hands trailed dangerously close to his neck. He wanted to grab her wrists and move them away. He wanted to jump back and tell her his skin crawled from her touch but the words just wouldn’t come out his mouth. And before he could stop her, Eliza wrapped her fingers around his neck and pushed her lips against his lips. </p><p>The movement paralysed him. </p><p>He was shocked she would be so... bold. Shocked she would chance it. But Sidney didn’t stop her. He was too numb to do anything. </p><p>“Sidney?” Arthur asked. </p><p>Instantly Sidney was drawn out of the moment- his brain suddenly working and running around with thoughts as if it was on fire, yet it still didn’t do anything. Turning his face to look at Arthur, Sidney could hardly form words as Eliza pulled away from him. </p><p>Arthur looked around the room for a moment almost as if to see if anyone else could confirm what his eyes had just witnessed. He was startled. He was angry at Sidney. He was confused. </p><p>“I’ll be in touch Sidney,” Eliza smiled, pecking him on the cheek, “tell Tom I had to dash won’t you darling.”</p><p>The two brothers stood in absolute stillness as Eliza grabbed her bag and sashayed out of the office. Only once the front door had slammed shut, did Arthur move.</p><p>“What the fuck Sidney?” Arthur said, moving briskly towards Sidney with a thousand thoughts running through his mind.<br/>
“What just happened?” Sidney whispered as the clogs of his brain began to move slowly.<br/>
“Umm.. what happened..umm let me refresh your mind. You were lip locking Satan Sidney,” Arthur spat, slapping the back of Sidneys head, “what the hell? What about Charlotte?”<br/>
“Charlotte?” Sidney looked up at Arthur as his brain tried to catch up with him, “oh god Charlotte. Don’t say anything to her Arthur.”<br/>
“Excuse me?” Arthur almost chocked.<br/>
“I’ll talk to her at the right moment,” Sidney said, panic filling his face.<br/>
“Sid-“<br/>
“Keep it quiet Arthur,” Sidney said sternly.</p><p>Arthur went to protest. He knew that was a bad idea. He knew Sidney should be honest and get it out before Eliza had the chance to do it for him. But he was stopped from speaking. </p><p>“Tea?” Tom said happily, carrying the tea tray into the room and looking around, “where’s Eliza?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. 33 “God”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Putting a gold stud earring on, Charlotte was startled when she heard a knock at her front door. It was Friday evening and she was heading to Tom and Mary’s for dinner with the rest of the Parker clan.</p><p>Checking her phone in case she had missed a message, Charlotte walked bare foot to the front door when there were no notifications- fixing her clothes as she did. It was just a dinner with friends so she went for a simple summer dress. Pulling the door open, Charlotte was surprised to find a tired looking Sidney standing there. </p><p>“Sidney?” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Thought I’d walk you to Trafalgar house,” Sidney said, his lips curved to form a smile but Charlotte could tell he was worried about something.<br/>
“I just need to finish getting ready,” Charlotte said, moving aside to let him into the house.<br/>
“Take your time,” Sidney whispered as he walked into the house. </p><p>Charlotte quietly went to her room to finish getting ready. As she brushed blush onto her cheeks, she thought about the week. Since Tuesday, Sidney had been distant. He came around Tuesday evening and the two just sat there- Sidney replying with single syllables and Charlotte trying to draw blood from a stone. Their usual passion seemed to have faded- Sidney rebuffing Charlotte when she kissed him and pulling back when ever he saw her. As Tuesday passed, Sidney seemed to find excuses to avoid seeing Charlotte- too busy in the evenings with office work for her to come and see him or him to go and see her. Charlotte wanted to give him space. She assumed something had gone on with the company- she knew Eliza had a stake in it now and just put the two together. Where there was Sidney, Eliza wasn’t far behind.  However, a small part of Charlotte was beginning to feel like Eliza’s words were true. Maybe Sidney had finished with his “sweet little thing”. </p><p>Shaking the thought from her head, Charlotte picked up the necklace from her dressing table and walked out of her room. Sidney was probably just stressed from the divorce, the business and his board meetings. Charlotte rationalised it. His was a mess but the mess that she wanted, so that was all she could do. Be rational. </p><p>“Sidney,” Charlotte said, biting her lip as she stood near him. </p><p>Immediately, Sidney (who was running his fingers over his beard) turned from the bookshelf to look at Charlotte. Stuffing his hands in his trouser pockets, he looked at her curiously, raising his head to signal he was listening. </p><p>“Can you help me with my necklace?”</p><p>Sidney stood there hesitantly for a moment before he took the dangling star necklace from Charlottes hand and waited for her to turn around and pull her hair out the way. His hands were shaking as he carefully hooked the clasp. His hands lingered on her neck for a moment. Charlotte closed her eyes and exhaled when she felt his lips on the crook of her neck. She had missed his touch most of the week. She missed the intimacies they shared. She missed him. </p><p>Turning around to face him, Charlotte pressed her lips against Sidney’s- not wanting to give him a chance to change his mind. Charlotte bit down on Sidney’s lip and was pleased when he open his mouth and desperately searched for her tongue with his. As they intensified their kiss, Sidney moved his hand from Charlottes waist to her shoulder. He pushed down the straps of her dress and began to plant kisses along her shoulder blades. </p><p>Sidney gently pushed the two of them backwards towards the sofa. Charlotte had cleared the flowers from the sofa earlier this week and Sidney was pleased about. Charlotte moved her hands down to Sidneys trousers and began to unbuckle his belt. Just as she slipped it open, Sidney pushed her back onto the sofa and climbed on top of her. </p><p>The excitement with which they moved onto the sofa caused it to hit the side table beside it. The flowers which Charlotte had placed on it, fell down. The waterless vase tipped onto the carpet as the flowers fell in Charlottes hair. </p><p>“Oh god,” Sidney muttered as he pulled back, “sorry.”<br/>
“It’s fine,” Charlotte smiled, pushing the flowers onto the floor and immediately moving to kiss Sidney again.<br/>
Sidney pulled away, standing up and fixing his clothes, “we better get to Trafalgar house.”<br/>
Charlotte looked at him, “Sidney, have I done something wrong?”<br/>
“No,” Sidney said quickly, looking at her with wide eyes, “you did nothing. I just don’t want to be late.” </p><p>Charlotte didn’t say another word. She quickly fixed her clothes, put her shoes on and followed Sidney out the front door. They walked at a distance down the road- not out of precaution but because neither of them felt the right to stand next to the other. </p><p>*** </p><p>Pulling out his key to Trafalgar house, Sidney knocked before he entered- holding the door open for Charlotte to enter first. </p><p>“Hello,” Sidney shouted, leading the way into the house. </p><p>It was oddly quite except for the odd voices Sidney could hear coming from the living room. Walking towards it, Sidney worked out Tom’s voice but it took him a minute to place the other one. As soon as he did, he could feel the panic washing through his veins as he turned to glance at Charlotte standing behind him. </p><p>“Back again,” Sidney gritted, as he walked through the living room door, his eyes instantly boring holes into Eliza.<br/>
“Oh Sidney darling,” Eliza said, perking up when she saw Charlotte step into the room behind him, “you know I love to leave a mark on the things that are mine.”<br/>
“Tom,” Sidney said sternly, raising an eyebrow at him and waiting for an explanation.<br/>
“I was just finishing up dear,” Eliza smiled, cutting Tom off before he could speak and turning to look at Charlotte, “Miss Heywood. I see you’ve already made yourself a part of the furniture here.” </p><p>Charlotte stood with a smile plastered on her face. She had  come to realise people like Eliza would only push her until she reacted. If Charlotte didn’t react, Eliza would get bored. Charlotte just rolled her eyes as she stood there. </p><p>Sidney balled his fists by his sides in irritation. He was furious. </p><p>“Sidney,” Tom shouted excitedly as he finally found a moment to speak, “perfect. I need you to sign some papers. Come to my office.”<br/>
“Tom why is she here again?” Sidney gritted.<br/>
“Come to my office and I shall answer any questions there,” Tom said, walking out the room before Sidney could say anything.<br/>
“Show yourself out Eliza,” Sidney shouted furiously, “Tom!”</p><p>Charlotte shot Sidney a pleading look as he turned to walk out the room. The last thing she wanted to do was listen to Eliza spewing loaded words at her. However, Sidney was too filled with frustration to take notice of Charlotte and as the dust from his angry body storming out the room settled, Charlotte stood awkwardly in the room. Eliza staring at her. </p><p>“Did you fall asleep in a field?” Eliza asked.<br/>
“What?” Charlotte said.<br/>
“There’s a petal in your hair,” Eliza said, moving forward and pulling the single, discolouring petal from Charlotte’s tangled curls.<br/>
“Oh,” Charlotte’s whispered, “thanks.”<br/>
“I do wonder how such a thing got there,” Eliza said, looking at Charlotte with distain.<br/>
“Just flowers in my house Eliza,” Charlotte said curtly.<br/>
“Ah,” Eliza smiled devilishly.<br/>
“What?” Charlotte had too much on her mind to play this game with Eliza.<br/>
“Sidney,” Eliza smirked, “he once brought me a whole room full of daisies- my favourite. He must have a great deal with the florist by now- clearly something he does often.”<br/>
“Hmm,” Charlotte sighed, her heart sinking slightly at the idea of Sidney using the same tricks to woo all his women.<br/>
“I’m surprised he didn’t learn after the mess they created in our house. That husband of mine never does pay attention- but at least I had a maid to clean it up,” Eliza smiled, looking Charlotte up and down. </p><p>Charlotte stood there for a moment. She was annoyed and desperately wanted to go find Mary or the children but she seemed to be cornered in the room. She played with her necklace as she thought about Eliza’s words before laughing softly to herself. </p><p>“Did I miss the joke?” Eliza asked, her face stiffening.<br/>
“It’s just funny that daisies are your favourite flower,” Charlotte smiled.<br/>
“And why is that?” Eliza asked nonchalantly.<br/>
“Just that it reminds me of The Great Gatsby and that reminds me of you,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Daisy was a beautiful and charming women in that book,” Eliza said proudly, “and Gatsby loves her- always.”<br/>
“She is beautiful... but she’s also fickle, shallow and careless. In love with money, ease and material things. Gatsby doesn’t actually love her at all- just the idea of her, until that fades away as well and he wakes up from her spell,” Charlotte smiled looking at her, “just ironic that you like daisies I guess.” </p><p>Eliza looked at her. Her face tightened and her posture straightened as she tried to make herself look bigger again. </p><p>“Charlotte!” Arthur said as he walked into the living room. His mouth dropped as he saw Charlotte and Eliza standing there- his heart beat racing, “Eliza.”<br/>
“I was just leaving,” Eliza gritted.</p><p>Dropping her hands from around her chest, grabbing her handbag off the sofa and storming out of the room. The sound of her heels hitting the marble floor of Trafalgar house echoed as Arthur looked at Charlotte wearily. </p><p>“What’s wrong with her?” Arthur asked, as the door slammed shut and desperately trying to read Charlottes oddly calm face.<br/>
“Something to do with daisies I think,” Charlotte said innocently, wrapping her arms around Arthur, “where’s Diana?”<br/>
“The sea air has not agreed with her apparently so she needed a night off,” Arthur smiled.<br/>
“Arthur can I ask you something?” Charlotte said cautiously, moving herself and Arthur away from the living room door.<br/>
“Anything,” Arthur said, going to the drinks cart (better to be prepared he thought).<br/>
“Has Sidney said anything to you?” Charlotte said to Arthur as he poured her a glass of wine.<br/>
“No why?” Arthur asked, pouring his own glass a little faster.<br/>
“He’s been sketchy all week,” Charlotte said, looking at Arthur, “not to make this weird but as your my only friend here I really need to say this.”<br/>
“Okay,” Arthur said warily, gulping his wine.<br/>
“Normally we like... you know... get intimate a lot but since he’s got back from London he’s been really distant,” Charlotte said, tapping her fingers along the side of her wine glass, “Do you think he knows about the dirt track?”<br/>
“What did Eliza say?” Arthur asked, ignoring her question.<br/>
“Eliza?” Charlotte looked at him in confusion.<br/>
“Just now,” Arthur raised his eyebrow.<br/>
“Oh that was nothing,” Charlotte sipped her wine, “she was just trying to get under my skin but I think I handled it.”<br/>
“Charlotte,” Arthur sighed, “just talk to Sidney. Don’t try and read each other’s minds. Don’t give each other space. Just talk to each other. Okay?”<br/>
“That bad?” Charlotte said, the look of worry almost immediately washing over her.<br/>
“No,” Arthur rushed to say, “just some advice. And now, speaking of my brother, did he make it here Charlotte?” </p><p>Charlotte went to open her mouth but was beaten to it. </p><p>“They are both here Arthur,” Tom said cheerily as he walked into the room. </p><p>Sidney followed closely behind him. Charlotte tried to read his body language but he didn’t even make eye contact with her. As Sidney conversed with Arthur and Tom went to the kitchen (his kids having gone out with friends for the evening and due back any moment), Charlotte stood and pondered on Arthur’s words. </p><p>What could it be that she needed to speak to him about? Had someone told him about the dirt track? She knew she shouldn’t have kept it from him but she didn’t want him to know that the only reason she went off the track in the first place was because she had let Eliza get under her skin. He didn’t need to worry about Eliza annoying her as well- not with the divorce and the board and Tom. </p><p>“Charlotte!” The children shouted as soon as they entered the room and saw her. </p><p>Instantly, Charlotte was drawn out of her thoughts and as the boys got to work setting the table and helping Mary in the kitchen (who Charlotte still hadn’t managed to see for some reason), Charlotte sat on the floor with the kids. </p><p>For the next ten minutes Charlotte’s mind was consumed by dance recitals, school stories and film reviews as the kids rung in her ears with excitement. She did not mind. </p><p>“Kids wash your hands,” Tom announced as he walked back into the room, “dinner is ready.” </p><p>Charlotte watched the kids run out of the room and as she stood up to follow them, Sidney walked into the room. His eyes looked over her with concern and Charlotte instantly frowned- sensing something was up.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Charlotte asked nervously.<br/>
“Eliza didn’t say anything did she?” Sidney said, trying to hide the panic on his face.<br/>
“Just her usual stuff,” Charlotte said looking at him curiously, “Sidney what exactly happened in London? Your very distant. Is this about the dirt track?”<br/>
“Why would this be about the dirt track?” Sidney raised an eyebrow.<br/>
“Just,” Charlotte said, pausing to find her words.<br/>
“What happened on the track Charlotte?” Sidney asked, sterner than usual.<br/>
“Nothing Sidney. I’m just thinking that maybe what Eliza did got to you more than you think,” Charlotte tried to think quickly.<br/>
“What did Eliza do?” Sidney said quickly, his hands shaking slightly.<br/>
“just Eliza turning up and the fact she owns some of the business,” Charlotte said, slightly surprised by his reaction.<br/>
“Oh,” Sidney sighed with almost relief, “Yes. That’s it. I found out in London about the details of that deal and yes I’ve been concerned.”<br/>
“I know how much this company means to you Sidney,” Charlotte said, resting her hand on his chest, “I’m sure we’ll find a solution.” </p><p>Sidney looked down at her and felt the strings of his heart tighten. “We’ll” he thought. He liked the sound of that. Wrapping his hands around her, Sidney felt like he could breathe again. </p><p>The week had been long and worrying. He still hadn’t told Charlotte about Eliza. He was ashamed. He should of never let Eliza get that far but his brain had become so consumed with trying to protect Charlotte that he didn’t think- he’d of done anything to protect her.  Sidney was also surprised. Eliza had never tried anything like that with him before. Most of all, Sidney was scared. If he told Charlotte, would she leave him? He knew she was already insecure about Eliza- they had spoke about it that Tuesday morning, would this have been the tipping point- the thing that made her want to call it quits. </p><p>Exhaling, Sidney decided that tonight would be the night. Despite everything, he needed to tell her. He couldn’t let Eliza get there first and he would deal with whatever the consequences were with Charlotte. </p><p>“Let’s go eat,” Sidney said, quickly pecking Charlotte on the lips before they moved out the room. </p><p>***<br/>
The evening around the dinner table was friendly.  Charlotte noticed how much Sidneys mood seemed to have lifted as he sat between Arthur and Henry, the three often whispering and laughing together. </p><p>Charlotte was sat between the girls and Sidney sat opposite her. He smiled as he watched her interact with the girls. </p><p>As their mains came to an end, Mary stood up to clear the plates. Charlotte tried to help but was immediately told to sit down and relax. Instead Sidney and Tom were roped in as Henry ran off to find a toy he was desperate to show Charlotte and the girls went to the kitchen to help with dessert (a cake they had helped bake). </p><p>“I saw Sidney pull you aside. Everything between you guys good?” Arthur said, taking Alicias seat as she went to help with dessert.<br/>
“Yeah, Sidney and I spoke about it. We have a lot to discuss but I think most of it is out on both our parts. At least we know Eliza’s game now,” Charlotte smiled.<br/>
“I must say your oddly very calm about this,” Arthur said, stretching over the table to grab his glass of wine.<br/>
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Charlotte said, biting her bottom lip as she looked over at Sidney approaching from the kitchen.<br/>
“I wouldn’t be that chill if she kissed my boyfriend,” Arthur said, sipping on his wine.<br/>
“What?” Charlotte said, turning to stare at him.<br/>
“Wait,” Arthur froze, realising he had done something he shouldn’t have, “what are you talking about?”<br/>
“What are you talking about?” Charlotte said, looking furiously at Arthur.<br/>
“Charlotte? Arthur? Everything okay?” Sidney said, looking at them both with concern as he took his seat again.<br/>
“I thought you and Sidney had discussed the kiss and the car injury,” Arthur whispered near Charlotte innocently but Sidney heard every word.<br/>
“You had a car accident?” Sidney shouted in concern across the table.<br/>
“Don’t you dare,” Charlotte gritted as she stared at her empty plate- blinking furiously to stop the tears coming out as she soaked in the news.<br/>
“There was a car accident? at the sight?” Tom asked as he returned to the table, “I hope no one was hurt.”<br/>
“You know how I feel about cars and racing Charlotte and then you hide it from me,” Sidney gritted, trying to calm himself down as James began to stir in his high chair.<br/>
“Pot. Kettle. Black,” Charlotte spat back across the table.<br/>
“You could have been seriously hurt Charlotte,” Sidney shouted.<br/>
“And you didn’t tell me about kissing Eliza because... what?” Charlotte shouted, “I could have been seriously hurt?”<br/>
“You kissed Eliza?” Tom interjected curiously, but quietened down when Arthur shot him a look.<br/>
“I was trying to protect you,” Sidney shouted and Charlotte scoffed.<br/>
“Pudding anyone?” Mary said.</p><p>Mary was carrying a cake into the room proudly. Alicia and Jenny carried the little pudding plates and spoons, bouncing excitedly over to their seats (Alicia practically pushing a frozen Arthur out of her chair). </p><p>The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. </p><p>“Is everyone okay?” Mary asked as she put the cake down on the table.<br/>
“This has been a lovely evening Mary but I’m afraid I’m going to need to excuse myself,” Charlotte said as calmly as she could, her chest heaving up and down as she threw her napkin on the table.</p><p>She didn’t wait for permission to leave. She just got up and walked out of the door. Too angry to stay. Too hurt to listen.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi guys, thanks for all your comments and feedback. As always, it’s much appreciated. </p><p>Title:</p><p>Bon Iver- 33 “God”</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Exile</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlotte beat her feet against the pavement as she rushed to make it home. Her eyes were stinging as tears threatened to drop but she refused to cooperate with them. She was upset but that was the last emotion she wanted to feed into. </p><p>She was angry. Furious. </p><p>Feeling her hands shake, Charlotte pulled the house key out of her handbag and tried to put it into the lock. Her shaking fingers dropped the keys loudly onto her doorstep and she groaned as she bent down to pick them up. It felt like the world was conspiring to keep her from any peace this evening. </p><p>“Charlotte,” Sidney shouted. </p><p>As soon as Charlotte had left the table at Trafalgar house, Sidney knew he needed to speak with her. He was angry that Charlotte had hidden things from him but he knew he was in the wrong too. He needed to find a way to explain it to her. </p><p>“Go away,” Charlotte gritted, pushing the key through the front door.</p><p>Charlotte walked through the front door. Although she really wanted to slam the door in Sidney’s face when she heard his feet following behind her, she didn’t. He was going to talk. She knew he would. She’d rather it be in the confines of her own house than on the street where others could watch and judge. </p><p>Exhaling sharply, Charlotte threw her shoes by the front door before she walked further into the house. She needed a drink. </p><p>“You’ve got to listen to me,” Sidney said, slamming the door shut behind him as he entered her house.<br/>
“Do I now?” Charlotte whispered angrily, blowing hot air as she moved.<br/>
“It didn’t mean anything,” Sidney said quickly.<br/>
“A kiss alway means something,” Charlotte said, walking into her kitchen.<br/>
“It wasn’t romantic. It wasn’t a moment. You’d know that if you were-“<br/>
“If I was there?” Charlotte shouted, turning on her heels to look at him, “I’m sorry. I went to work. I didn’t realise you’d shove your tongue down someone else’s throat after I left in the morning. Especially since I shoved my tongue down your throat what, fifteen minutes before? Was it a contest? How many tonsil examinations can Sidney get in one day?“<br/>
“It wasn’t like that!” Sidney shouted.<br/>
“Was it not?” Charlotte scoffed.<br/>
“She kissed me!” Sidney protested, rubbing his forehead as he tried to gain some composure, “Look Charlotte, please don’t be upset with me?”<br/>
“Upset?” Charlotte roared, “I’m not upset, I’m angry! I’m furious! I’m hurt! I’m mad!”</p><p>They both stood meters apart and stared at each other. Their chests were heaving up and down as they both tried to simmer down the rage pumping in their veins. The finite string of trust that tied the two of them together, felt like it had been broken- now hanging loosely from their hearts. There was no cut, just a snap made from the destruction of their own doing. </p><p>“You didn’t push her away,” Charlotte whispered into the silence.<br/>
“What?” Sidney asked, too scared to move forward.<br/>
“Why didn’t you push her off you?” Charlotte asked, louder, “Arthur would have said if you did- he alway jumps to your defence when he can, but he didn’t.”<br/>
“I just.... I didn’t know what to do. I was so annoyed that I’d given her the ammunition to use against me... against you...against us that I couldn’t see anything past you and protecting you and I just froze,” Sidney rambled, he hands waving around him as he tried to find the words to speak.</p><p>Looking at his lost face, Charlotte began to laugh at his words. </p><p>Protect her. </p><p>Crossing her arms over her chest, she wondered if Sidney was trying to tell a joke. She had laughed but it wasn’t actually funny at all.</p><p>“So it’s my fault?” Charlotte said looking at him, “you cheated on me to protect me?”<br/>
“No I never said that,” Sidney said quickly and loudly.<br/>
“I can stand up for myself pretty well Sidney. You’ve seen it on the race track. I did it today with Eliza. I don’t need you to protect me,” Charlotte said angrily, “what I need is for you to be honest with me. It’s bad enough that you kissed her-“<br/>
“I didn’t kiss her,” Sidney protested loudly.<br/>
“Did you try and stop it?” Charlotte said, and when Sidney stood in silence, she exhaled, “it is bad enough you kissed her but then to not tell me for almost a whole week.”<br/>
“I’m not the only one that was keeping secrets Charlotte- you had an accident on that dirt track and you didn’t even tell me,” Sidney shouted, “you know how I felt about you driving in the first place.”<br/>
“Sidney that isn’t even the same thing. It’s nowhere near the same thing,” Charlotte scoffed, “I didn’t tell you because I only drove off that road when I saw Eliza and I was raging with jealously over the fact that she still turned up everywhere. She had and she still has a hold over you.”<br/>
“She doesn’t hold anything over me,” Sidney gritted in disgust.<br/>
“Yet the touch of her seemed to paralyse you?” Charlotte retorted.<br/>
“You should have told me,” Sidney said irritatedly.<br/>
“Like you told me?” Charlotte scoffed.</p><p>Charlotte looked at him. The tears in her eyes were blinding her sight and she bit on her bottom lip to try and stop them from falling. She felt an insurmountable wave of hurt wash over her and as it did, it began to thaw her heart towards him. </p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me?” Charlotte said angrily, “am I that hard to talk to?”<br/>
“No,” Sidney said quietly, staring at the ground as he tried to phrase his words carefully, “I... I learned a long time ago that I’d have to hold myself together. I've learnt to deal with pain alone, so no one can use my wounds and scars against me ever again- because that’s what Eliza did. She used what I use to say against me. Guilt me into doing things I didn’t want.”<br/>
“We are not the same person Sidney. I’m here. I’m actually here. Not a memory. Not a photograph in your head. I’m here. I told you I would always listen,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Maybe it was my own fucking insecurity. My fear that you would leave me and I would be left to pick up the pieces of my heart again. If I kept it to myself- because it meant nothing, I could pretended it didn’t happen,” Sidney said, slouching his shoulders in defeat, “you know.... Charlotte, I’m here with you and I think about my past with Eliza. I’m standing in between giving up and taking one step to move forward. Im standing in between losing hope and trying to see that there's still a beautiful future waiting ahead. Im standing in between faith and lost trust. Im standing in so many uncertainties, and I don't even know what to call that,” he sighed and sadly smiled, "But I look up and I see you and suddenly all those uncertainties are gone. Im sure of this. Of us."</p><p>Shuffling on his feet Sidney straightened up and looked at Charlotte. She looked distant and held a look he wasn’t familiar with. As he stared at her doe eyes, he felt his sweaty palms shake by his sides. Just a week ago, they were in that room making love on the sofa without a care for the world. Now they were fighting. </p><p>“I wanted to tell you- I really did, but you’d told me in the morning how Eliza made you feel and I didn’t want you to think that I was using you to just get over her because... this is so much more than that. I promise you, it didn’t mean anything. As soon as I realised what was happening I stopped it,” Sidney sighed, “I should have told you but I was scared what that would do to us. I shouldn’t have hid it but every time I saw you, I just knew I wanted you to be someone I had around all the time. Someone I love so much.”<br/>
“The issue is Sidney,” Charlotte said, her brows furrowing, “I just don’t know if I can believe you.”<br/>
“Charlotte I never cheated. She caught me off guard and as soon as I realised it, I knew it was wrong,” Sidney said walking towards Charlotte but stopping as Charlotte moved back, “fuck Charlotte. She makes my skin crawl and honestly all week I’ve felt like she’s burrowed under my skin no matter how much I try to get rid of her.”<br/>
“And that’s why you wouldn’t let me touch you, great,” Charlotte laughed angrily, “I thought I’d done something wrong.” </p><p>Charlotte walked into the kitchen and grabbed the first bottle of wine she could from her fridge. She didn’t bother to get a glass and just stood with her fridge door open, gulping it from the bottle.</p><p>Sidney could see her from the living room. He was still stood by the bookcase and he kept moving forward on his feet- only to step back. He knew he hadn’t said it right. He just couldn’t find the words to make this okay- and he really wanted this to be okay. </p><p>“I don’t think I can do this any more,” Charlotte said, sliding the wine bottle across the counter as she slammed the fridge door shut.<br/>
“Is it impossible for you to forgive me?” Sidney asked.<br/>
“I’ve seen this before Sidney- the whole cheating boyfriend thing. I didn’t like it very much so you’ll have to forgive me for not wanting to repeat it,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“I need you to trust me and believe me when I tell you my heart is with you,” Sidney said, walking forward.<br/>
“I need you to leave,” Charlotte said.<br/>
Sidney scoffed as he froze on the spot, his anger overriding his senses, “I honestly feel like you’ve been waiting for a chance to push me away from the moment we decided to have a relationship. Now you seem to have found it.”<br/>
“Push you away? I’ve bent to your every whim. Eliza turning up, okay I’ll work with that. Tom having a weird day, fine I’ll listen about that. Awkward position at work- okay I won’t say anything to put you in the middle. I’ve put my own insecurities behind me because you said this was worth it. That I could be the love of your life. That this was a once in twenty life times kind of relationship. I trusted you and you broke it like shattered glass,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“I love you. I don’t know how else to say it,” Sidney whispered, his voice breaking as he did.<br/>
“How about you show it,” Charlotte shouted as she looked at him, “Why won’t you ever let me in?”<br/>
“Charlotte I’ve told you so much about myself, my dad, Tom-“<br/>
“I had to hear from Eliza that she owned parts of the company. I had to hear from Tom that there was going to be an investigation. I had to hear from Arthur that you kissed Eliza,” Charlotte said, “you give me slivers but you never let me all the way in.” </p><p>Sidney stood and just stared at her. He knew it was true. He was afraid to share too much and his woven web was beginning to wrap around him like a noose.</p><p>“You need to leave Sidney,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“But I love you,”<br/>
“And what do you want me to do with that?” Charlotte spay at him loudly.<br/>
“I love you Charlotte. I think I’ve shown you that-  we are literally standing in a room surrounded by flowers to show you how much I love you,” Sidney said, looking around in frustration.<br/>
“Really? Was it like this when you gave Eliza all those daisies as well?” Charlotte retorted.<br/>
“That’s different,” Sidney gritted.<br/>
“Why? Because the flowers you gave her didn’t die of thirst?” Charlotte said, picking up a dried out vase of roses and looking at them for a moment, “take your fucking flowers and get the fuck out of my house.”</p><p>Charlotte raised the vase and threw it at the wall above her tv. She really wanted to aim for Sidney but knew that wouldn’t be right. Sidney flinched at the sound of the glass shattering. As Charlotte walked past him, Sidney wanted to grab her arm and stop her. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and beg for forgiveness. He wanted to love her and assure her. </p><p>But he couldn’t. </p><p>So he opened the front door, walked out and went home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry (I promise a HEA eventually though)</p><p>Thanks for all your lovely feedback! I really appreciate it x</p><p>Title:<br/>Taylor Swift ft Bon Iver- Exile</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Ain’t No Sunshine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlottes head was aching as she stirred in her bed. </p><p>She had spent most of the night drinking through all the alcohol in her house- even popping out to the corner shop to stock up on more. She was furious and all she wanted to do was feel numb from the pain she was feeling.</p><p>Her mind was spinning as the thought of Sidney kept creeping into her mind like a broken record on repeat. She didn’t want it to be there though. She didn’t want to think of him because every time she did... he just burned brighter at the back of her mind. </p><p>The incessant pounding of the door knock caused Charlottes head to throb. Reluctantly, Charlotte pulled herself out of her bed. As she trailed slowly to the front door, Charlotte stepped over her dress from last night, her jacket, her shoes and handbag. Things she all but dropped on the floor as she made her way into the house and started feeling claustrophobic in the material. </p><p>“Mary?” Charlotte mumbled audibly, squinting as she opened the door, “why are you here so early? And with Diana?”<br/>
“It’s 2pm Charlotte,” Mary said, looking at Charlotte with concern, “Charlotte you know you’ve answered the front door in your underwear, right?”<br/>
Charlotte looked down tiredly at herself- underwear and bra from yesterday still on (thank god she wasn’t naked she thought), “it was a long night Mary,” Charlotte sighed.<br/>
“Charlotte are you okay? Have you caught something?” Diana said immediately, putting the back of her hand on Charlottes forehead, “your temperature seems fine. Perhaps I should get you some water.” </p><p>Diana pushed past Charlotte and started walking straight towards Charlottes kitchen- skipping over the mess on the hallway floor as she did. Diana started rummaging through Charlottes cupboard and the noise of her movement was far too loud for Charlotte to bear right now. </p><p>“I brought you some cake,” Mary smiled as she looked at Charlotte, “the girls wanted to make sure you had some since you left dinner early last night.”<br/>
“Oh Mary thank you but honestly it’s too early for this,” Charlotte moaned, resting her head against her front door.<br/>
“You go have a shower and some medicine. Diana and I will  put the kettle on,” Mary squeezed Charlottes shoulders warmly as she walked into her house, “oh Charlotte there’s some roses on the front step, do you want me to get them for you?”<br/>
Charlotte rolled her eyes and exhaled sharply, “just leave them there to die Mary.” </p><p>Shutting the door, Charlotte watched as Mary picked up the trail of clothes she had left behind and looked at the broken vase on the floor. Charlotte froze as she remembered the vase. The way she had so angrily thrown it out of frustration. Mary just looked up at Charlotte with wide, sympathetic eyes and without a word, Charlotte knew she meant well but she didn’t want it. She didn’t want the sympathy. Turning on her heels, Charlotte quickly walked to her room- trying to find ways to get out of hosting the Parker women and crawl back into bed and drink herself into an oblivion. </p><p>The mumbled chatter from the living room and whistle of the kettle, told Charlotte they weren’t leaving. She reluctantly brushed her teeth, showered and got dressed. </p><p>Charlotte came out of her bedroom to a superbly clean living room. All the flowers which were wilting or dead were gone and Charlotte could finally see the little treasures that made the space her. She inhaled a breath of sadness. Suddenly everything felt very real. The remnants of Sidney, slowly being wiped away. </p><p>As she walked over to the sofa, Mary handed her a cup of tea and smiled. Charlotte sank into the sofa. Not feeling particularly chatty. </p><p>“Are you okay Charlotte? You look like you’ve seen a ghost?” Diana said, moving the tin of biscuits she had found in the cupboard, towards Sidney.<br/>
“I’m fine,” Charlotte answered quietly, sipping on her tea as she stared at the scratch on the wall above the tv.<br/>
“That’s what I say to my doctor when I first see them as well- but it’s very rarely the case,” Diana said sympathetically.<br/>
“The flowers in here. Did you throw them?” Charlotte asked, looking at Diana who was sat in an armchair in front of her.<br/>
Diana nodded, “They were dead.”<br/>
“Oh,” Charlotte said, her throat feeling tight.<br/>
“Sorry, did you want to keep them?” Mary said, looking at Charlotte in confusion.<br/>
“I had thought about saving some of them and maybe pressing them in a book or drying them into a frame. Something to preserve the memory of when I got them but it’s probably pointless now anyway,” Charlotte shrugged, feeling a sharp tug from her chest. </p><p>The room filled with a silence. Mary and Diana kept giving each other concerned glances as Charlotte seemed to sink lower and lower into her seat. She was glum. The smile she ordinary wore like lipstick was faded and replaced with sadness. </p><p>“Arthur has filled us in on what’s happened,” Diana said carefully, her fingers tapping nervously on her thigh.<br/>
“Is what he did really so terribly bad?” Mary asked cautiously.<br/>
“I really appreciate you both coming around but I don't need another person to tell me that it's okay, and he's sorry," Charlotte sighed then continued, "it hurt. It still hurts.”</p><p>Sitting up, Charlotte grabbed the slice of chocolate cake Mary had plated for her and set it in her lap. Charlotte wanted to talk. She needed to share her thoughts with someone but they were Sidney’s friends. Her friends were in London or Willingden. Everyone here was her friend second and Sidney’s first. </p><p>“Charlotte were not here to plead anyone’s case. We’re not here to stand up for him because frankly, I think he was a little silly,” Diana said.<br/>
“I don’t want to talk,” Charlotte said, sticking the fork in her cake and eating a small piece, “it’s stupid.”<br/>
“Charlotte,” Mary said, resting her hand on Charlottes knee, “were not here to plead his case. We are not here to defend him. We are here for you because in the short time we’ve known you, you’ve become a dear friend and I’m concerned about you.”</p><p>Charlotte bit her bottom lip. The tears were brimming in her eyes as she tried to suppress the feeling of hurt that washed over her. But Charlotte couldn’t do it any more and instantly she put the plate onto the coffee table in front of her and pressed her head into her hands.</p><p>“He didn’t tell me,” Charlotte cried, “he took a whole week and he still didn’t tell me.”<br/>
“I know,” Mary said, rubbing a hand on Charlotte back to comfort her.<br/>
“It hurts so much because he keeps comparing me to her. He think I would hurt him like that. Like I would use it against him,” Charlotte said, “but that isn’t me and he doesn’t see that.”<br/>
“Charlotte he just doesn’t think. He’s been scarred from Eliza- he thought of her as his moon and stars and yet she turned him to ash,” Diana sighed.<br/>
“I want to curse at him,” Charlotte said, the tears streaming down her face as she sat up to look at him, “I want to break his face and tell him that he let one stupid lie ruin things... but I can’t because I... I ache for him... I love him.”<br/>
“Oh Charlotte,” Diana said, getting up and sitting in the other side of Charlotte.<br/>
“I believed him when he looked me in the eyes and told me he loved me,” Charlotte almost whispered, “From the moment I met him, he was so enchanting that I believed him. I fell into this puddle of madness we called love and now it’s erupted like a volcano,” Charlotte cried, “and I don’t know now if my roots ever entwined around his because everything feels so unsure.”<br/>
“Charlotte if you love each other I’m sure it will work out,” Mary tried to say comfortingly.<br/>
“But will it? Because I love him with the excitement and breathlessness you get when you first fall in love but any idiot can do that. Anyone can fall into someone’s arms and whisper sweet nothings,” Charlotte sighed, wiping the tears dripping from her chin, “what Sidney and I have... is that love still left after we both started a bonfire? Are our roots deep enough to regrow? Flourish after the blossoms have fallen?”</p><p>The three of them sat in silence as the words soaked into the air. Charlotte felt her body go cold as she thought about what she wanted to do next. She needed time. She needed space. She needed the freedom to make a decision without anyone else’s influence. But she also needed to see Sidney and see if their love would last. She just didn’t want to right now. </p><p>“What are your plans for the rest of the weekend?” Mary asked.<br/>
“If you say your plans are to drink for the rest of the weekend, I’ll be back tomorrow,” Diana said, breathing heavily, “I just put out enough bottles to suggest you were opening your own pub- they’ll be asking you to get a license if you continue at this rate. Heavens- your poor liver.”<br/>
Charlotte laughed, “maybe I’ll go to a bar and find someone else to get under.”<br/>
“Charlotte,” Mary said in slight shock.<br/>
“That’s how I got in Sidney’s bed,” Charlotte laughed, the state of her emotions causing a sort of delirium, “he chatted me up in a bar and told me that to get over someone- that someone being my ex boyfriend who was an absolute ass hat, I should get under some else. So I did get very comfortably under Sidney.”<br/>
“I don’t think I want to know what my brothers doing in his free time,” Diana said, squeezing her eyes shut as she tried to banish the thought.<br/>
“Sidney was meant to be my first ever  one night stand and I couldn’t even do that properly. I started a weird friends with benefits thing with him- even though we weren’t really friends and then I went and got stupid feelings,” Charlotte groaned.<br/>
“Charlotte, feelings aren’t stupid. They make you human,” Mary said. </p><p>Charlotte turned to look at Mary’s face as Mary and Diana both weaved their arms around Charlotte in a tight, comforting hug. As they did Charlotte felt the tears come thick and fast as she thought of how stupid she had been. How quickly she fell into free fall. </p><p>“I just....I still really love him and I don’t know how to stop feeling like my world can’t function without him in it because my world shouldn’t tilt on its axis for some guy,” Charlotte cried.<br/>
“Charlotte it isn’t wrong to love someone,” Mary said.<br/>
“But Mary,“ Charlotte said, getting up and beginning to pace around the room, “was I in love with him? Is this even love because I’ve barely known him for 20 seconds yet it feels like we’ve know even other for 20 years.”<br/>
“Charlotte, you cant time your feelings,” Diana said.<br/>
“We were just sleeping together. That was it. Just sex. That was easy- yes I got jealous of Eliza  but I could manage that by telling myself he wasn’t mine to lose,” Charlotte said quickly and angrily, “but then this changed and suddenly I saw him and I just knew I wanted everything with him. To be close to him and to share... burnt toast on Sunday with him and... help protect us from the world.”<br/>
“Charlotte you still could have that,” Mary said.<br/>
“Can I?” Charlotte asked, stoping her movements to look at Mary and Diana, “can I really when Eliza’s still around and Sidney has some... weird pull to her?”<br/>
“Charlotte, Sidney and Eliza have a compels history,” Diana interject but sat frozen when Charlotte gave her a killer look.<br/>
“I understand history and I’ve made exception about it time and time again. But I can’t tolerate someone not telling me when things happen,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“But you hid the driving from Sidney Charlotte, and you know how he feels about that,” Mary said carefully.<br/>
Charlotte sighed out in defeat, “I know. We packed ourselves up into a relationship so fast we forgot to bring the basic things.” </p><p>Her shoulders slumped as Charlotte felt the fight in her fade away. She was tired. She was sad. She was hurt. Charlotte took a deep breath and tried to muster up some form of a smile to show Diana and Mary she would be fine but she could keep up any pretence. Not today. </p><p>“Charlotte I’ll ask you again, just so you can ponder on the thought, but if you feel so strongly about Sidney, do you think what he did was so terribly bad that you couldn’t forgive him?” Mary said. </p><p>Standing there, Charlottes head felt dizzy. Was this a big bullet she had just dodged? Or had she just lost the love of her life? </p><p>Looking at the ground where he stood just yesterday, Charlotte flashback to when they first made their way onto the room. Kissing through the front door. Last week on their sofa watching tv and eating popcorn. Yesterday when she screamed at him. </p><p>She was so uncertain. </p><p>“I still love him...so much,” Charlotte cried, “but to just love someone... is that enough for a relationship? Because I don’t know if it is enough for me.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title:<br/>Bill Withers- Ain’t No SunShine</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. As Tears Go By</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Arthur and Sidney stretched their legs in the kitchen of their London home as they prepared to get into the Aston Martin for the long drive back to Sanditon. </p><p>It was 7am on a Monday morning and Sidney needed to be at the Sanditon Heritage Site by 10 am for the beginning of their investigation. </p><p>The duo had spent the weekend in Bedford Place. Sidney had gone back to Trafalgar House on Friday after he forgot his car keys there and when he suddenly decided to  jump into his car to get away from Sanditon- from the reminders of his stupidity... from Charlotte. Arthur has insisted on following him. His drunken buzz giving him a strengthening courage as he slid into the passenger seat, did his belt up and refused to move. </p><p>Sidney very reluctantly brought Arthur with him- turning up the music in the car every time Arthur tried to apologise for spilling the beans. Sidney didn’t want to hear Arthur’s apology. It wasn’t Arthur’s fault. </p><p>This entire mess was entirely a making of his own. </p><p>“It’s been a wild weekend brother,” Arthur said, pouring his fourth coffee.<br/>
“It was interesting,” Sidney said rolling his eyes as Arthur got giddy beside him.<br/>
“We should do it again,” Arthur smiled excitedly, “I bet this is what your lost boy weekends must be like.”<br/>
“Arthur the only reason you and I had a lost boys weekend is because you didn’t get out of my car- otherwise I’d of taken Crowe with me... or Babington,” Sidney said, turning to look at Arthur seriously, “we are never doing pot brownies again together. You make me crazy.”<br/>
“I make you bold- I may have been high as a kite but I heard you stick it to Satan,” Arthur winked his eye proudly at Sidney.<br/>
“The battle is not yet won,” Sidney said nonchalantly, “I have to learn to bite this devil on my tongue first.”<br/>
“Sidney, it will be fine,” Arthur said calmly.<br/>
Sidney looked Arthur in his eyes, trying to absorb his good vibes, before he exhaled, “let’s go get in the car.”</p><p>***</p><p>Saturday night had descended into chaos for the duo.</p><p>After spending the morning mopping around, Sidney had joined Arthur for a beer and a batch of brownies that had just been freshly delivered. When Sidney initially reached for a brownie, Arthur swatted his hand away but after much argument, Sidney sat and devoured his favourite sweet treat. Arthur smiled eating his piece quietly. Sidney had looked at him cautiously as the grin on Arthur’s face widened and he immediately knew it was going to be like their wild night in 2008, all over again- the last time Arthur had got himself and Sidney high off of cheap beer and some seriously strong pot brownies. </p><p>Now, the two of them were stumbling over the brick wall of a large, stately home in the middle of London after they had goaded each other to do their stupidest ideas. As they jumped onto the ground, Sidney and Arthur laughed quietly- feeling invincible as they looked around. </p><p>“Shhh,” Sidney giggled like a little school boy. </p><p>Tip toeing, they slowly moved towards the house- avoiding the visible lights and trying to be as unrecognisable as they could in their wobbly state. As they passed the pool safely, Arthur could feel his feet weaving around one another and stumbled over his feet. He immediately latched onto Sidney for dear life. </p><p>Stabilising each other, Sidney looked up at the house and rubbed his chin- wondering how they were going to get in without a key. Looking around, he noticed an open window near the kitchen and immediately turned to look at Arthur. Bouncing his eyebrows up and down in excitement, Sidney pulled Arthur by the collar and positioned himself underneath the window. Arthur laughed as he crouched down to give Sidney a boost into the window.</p><p>As Sidney slipped his foot onto Arthur’s hand and rose to grip onto the window frame, he pushed his head into the open window first. Once Sidney was halfway through the window, Arthur placed his palms flat onto Sidney’s ass and pushed him forward- giddily pushing him into the house. </p><p>“Honey I’m home!” Sidney laughed as he dropped through the window and onto all fours. </p><p>Dusting off his trousers, Sidney stumbled to his feet and fumbled with the locks as he opened the back door to let Arthur in. They were in the kitchen but with the lights off, they could barely work out what was what and when he stepped back, Sidney crashed into some pots behind him- the clacking of the metal pots crashing loudly in his ears and echoing through the house. </p><p>“Shhhh,” Arthur laughed before he whispered, “Satan will hear us!”<br/>
“Satan!” Sidney shouted, holding onto Arthur’s shoulder as he tried not to barrel over in laughter, “Satan I’m here!” </p><p>Both brothers howled with laughter in the dark as they lost all control over their senses. They were entirely out of their minds but feeling more alive than they had in years.</p><p>“Sidney?” Eliza shouted.</p><p>The sudden flicker of light made the boys blink their eyes furiously as they tried to straighten up beside each other and look appropriate. When they noticed Eliza walking towards them, they both stomped their feet as if they were in the military and saluted her. </p><p>“It burns Sidney,” Arthur laughed as he pulled his fingertips at his eyes.<br/>
“Shhh,” Sidney laughed lowly, “Satan is approaching.”<br/>
“Sidney. Arthur. What the hell is this?” Eliza said sternly, wrapping her gown more tightly around her waist.<br/>
“My wife!” Sidney shouted. </p><p>Opening his arms as she stood a few inches from  him, Sidney pulled her and Arthur into a tight hug. Arthur shared his spirit and hugged back just as tightly. They could hear Eliza telling them to stop and pushing gently against their bodies, but neither was ready to let her go just yet, </p><p>“What are you doing here?” Eliza said furiously as she pulled away.<br/>
“Ive come home for the year,” Sidney chuckled, trying to stand up straight again and look forward at her, “but I seem to have come home to five wives. Arthur do you see five of Satan?”<br/>
“Aaaa,” Arthur shouted in horror as he fixed his eyes onto Eliza, gripping onto Sidneys arm at his side and lowering his voice, “Sidney, why are there five of Satan?” </p><p>Slowly they turned their head to look at each other and both just stared at each other in horror before they both bent over in a ball of laughter. </p><p>“Sidney what on earth is wrong with you?” Eliza raised her voice loudly.<br/>
“Wrong with me?” Sidney laughed, his voice far more high pitched than usual, “baby I’m fine.”<br/>
“Why are you here?” Eliza seethed, checking the clock on the wall, “at 2 am?”<br/>
“You told me to come home- so I’m here,” Sidney slurred.<br/>
“And him?” Eliza pointed to a bright red Arthur next to him.<br/>
“Arthurs going to live with us,” Sidney said proudly, “we alway wanted to look after someone. I’m saving us the 26 years of sleepless nights.”<br/>
“I have nothing else to do,” Arthur chuckled, wrapping his arm around Sidney’s neck, “roomies.”<br/>
“Sidney,” Eliza said sharply, “get out of my house.”<br/>
“Shh,” Sidney said, holding his index finger over her lip, “what’s yours is mine remember? Can’t kick me out our house.”<br/>
“Sidney,” Arthur said, tilting his head to the side slightly, “I need a lie down.” </p><p>Fixing his grip around Sidney’s neck, Arthur pulled his brother with him as they made their way through the pristine, white kitchen into the living room. Arthur instantly fell onto the plush, pink sofa. Too tired to stand but too full of beans to sleep. Arthur smiled at Sidney who was happily stood over him. </p><p>“Sidney grow up. I don’t know what kind of midlife crisis your having but you need to leave,” Eliza snapped, as she stomped against the marble floor and entered the room.<br/>
Sidney suddenly caught every single one of his sense, “I need to leave? But you’ve spent the last year and a half making my life hell? I’m here now- no baggage, just waste. As you wished.”<br/>
“Sidney you need to sober up. I can smell you from here,” Eliza groaned.<br/>
“I’m not drunk stupid,” Sidney laughed, “maybe something else,” Sidney winked at her as he put his finger on his lips and silently shh’ed.<br/>
“This is not appropriate Sidney,” Eliza said.<br/>
“You ruining my life isn’t appropriate either but we all bare our crosses,” Sidney said, “you wanted to be married to this! You ruin it- you fix it!”<br/>
“I haven’t ruined anything,” Eliza rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest.<br/>
“I lost Charlotte because of you. I’m losing my company because of you. You just take take take from me,” Sidney shouted.<br/>
“Me?” Eliza smirked, “Do I hold your balls so tightly in my hand that you have no mind of your own?”<br/>
“You might as well, the way he acts,” Arthur snorted from the sofa.</p><p>Instantly, Sidney turned to look down on him and shot him a look. Arthur ceased all laughter and pulled the cushion from behind his head out and slowly began to move it so it covered his face. </p><p>“I didn’t make you do anything Sidney,” Eliza smiled, “you manage that perfectly all by yourself.”<br/>
“You told her I got you all those stupid flowers,” Sidney hissed.<br/>
“Technically you did,” Eliza said, wrapping a strand of her blond hair in her fingers as she looked at him.<br/>
“You ordered them on my card when I was in Australia for the races,” Sidney exhaled sharply, “I didn’t even know they were here until you sacked the cleaner and she told me you had made her clean that mess up.”<br/>
“But you paid for them and they were a beautiful gesture,” Eliza shrugged.<br/>
“I hate you,” Sidney said calmly, “I just hate you.”<br/>
“Oh Sidney darling, you hate me, I hate you. This is just a little fun game that we do- we always end up back together in the end,” Eliza said.</p><p>Sidney shut his eyes tightly to think. As he did, Eliza moved forward quietly on her bare feet and raised her hand to touch his neck. Before she could reach his neck, Sidney’s hand was around her wrist, stopping her mid air. Eliza flinched from the sudden touch. </p><p>“No,” Sidney said firmly, “I’ve let you get away with doing this for too long.”<br/>
“Excuse me?” Eliza said.<br/>
“I’ve let you get away with this- the husband calling, the touching and even that stupid kiss, because I thought it was easier to not argue. To just stand still, let you have the moment and maybe you’d get the message, but people like you don’t,” Sidney said sternly, “this isn’t going to work any more. You have 20 days left to respond to my divorce papers- and we will get a divorce. Even if I have to fake my own death to get out of this.”<br/>
“I’ll take you to the cleaners,” Eliza smirked.<br/>
“Take the clothes off my back for all I care,” Sidney smiled, “what you’ll never learn, Eliza, is that wealth does not come from the material things. It comes from the things you give your heart to. My company is nothing without me or my family name. My house is nothing without the people I love in it. And my heart.... well you were gone from there a long time ago.”<br/>
“But Sidney you need me,” Eliza said.<br/>
Sidney laughed, “I don’t need anyone,” Sidney bit down on his lips as he looked at her, “it was you. You were alway my ghost.... but I won’t let you haunt me any more.”<br/>
“Sidney-“<br/>
“Let’s go Arthur,” Sidney said, stuffing his hands in his pocket as he walked out the room.<br/>
“She won’t love you Sidney,” Eliza shouted, “she doesn’t get you like I do.”<br/>
“And that is precisely why I love her,” Sidney whispered as he opened the front door and hauled Arthur and himself out of the house. </p><p>***</p><p>Driving quickly down the M25, Sidney and Arthur made good time getting out of London. Arthur was drinking gallons of coffee from a travel mug and snacking on a box of corn flakes he had picked up from the house before they had left. </p><p>Sidney gripped the steering wheel of his Aston Martin tightly as he let the sound of the Rolling Stones guide him that morning. He felt his chest tighten with each inch they moved closer to Sanditon. He wanted to go and see her first. Make things right. But he didn’t think she’d want to see him. </p><p>He had checked his phone over and over again all weekend. It was only on Saturday night when Arthur had locked it in the safe that Sidney was free from the screen (but that didn’t stop his mind wondering to it). Sidney had sent Charlotte an apology text but she still hadn’t responded. He couldn’t blame her... but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt him. </p><p>“What’s the game plan Sidney?” Arthur asked, chucking some corn flakes in his mouth.<br/>
“Game plan?” Sidney asked curiously, his eyes focused on the road.<br/>
“With Charlotte- she’s going to be pissed, more at you than me but she’ll be pissed with both of us. How are you fixing this? I’m going to pray and if that doesn’t work I’m going to get her drunk,” Arthur smiled.<br/>
“Arthur do you ever think your a bit... I don’t know... heavily dependent on alcohol?” Sidney said causally.<br/>
“Like your dependent on your martyr complex?” Arthur retorted.<br/>
Sidney chuckled softly, “Touché.”</p><p>Sidney focused on looking out the window as he drove down the open road. He had wondered how he was going to show Charlotte he was sorry many times over the weekend. She didn’t want to hear it any more. She wanted him to show her how he loved her. But Sidney wasn’t sure he knew how- he’d gotten it all so wrong already. </p><p>Rustling next to him, Arthur poured out the final contents of his cereal before he threw the empty cereal box onto the backseat and sipped his coffee. He could sense his brother was thinking from the clench of his jaw and Arthur’s head started to hurt just from the thought of it. </p><p>“So how are you going to fix? Are you going to address your errors? Your flaws? You faults?” Arthur said.<br/>
Sidney laughed, “Finding the fault in everything is easy, what's hard is looking for something to love when you hate everything that surrounds you and the person that you do love won’t even return your calls.”<br/>
“With that attitudes you may as well just throw in the towel,” Arthur sighed, “You messed up Sidney and you need to fix it.”<br/>
“Don’t you think I know that Arthur?” Sidney said angrily, “I’ve known that since the moment Eliza kissed me last week and I stupidly didn’t move back.”<br/>
“Why didn’t you?” Arthur asked curiously.<br/>
“Why didn’t I what?” Sidney questioned. He knew exactly what Arthur was asking him- he’d asked himself over and over again, but he just needed to buy some thinking time.<br/>
“Why didn’t you stop Eliza?” Arthur said, resting his arm against the window.<br/>
Sidney sighed, “I don’t know.”<br/>
“You don’t know?” Arthur said loudly, “if you don’t, then who does?”<br/>
“Arthur,” Sidney said sharply, “its a stupid thing I’ve been doing for far too long now. I said it to Eliza yesterday. If I just let her do what she wants, I thought she’d go away. It was a random touch there or here. It was often in public and I didn’t want to make a scene so I let it slide- the family had enough press when I used to drive, we didn’t need more. She’d never tried to do anything like a kiss before so when she did my brain froze from shock.”<br/>
“Yeah right,” Arthur scoffed.<br/>
“Arthur you don’t have to believe me but it did. I was so confused with trying to think of a way to protect Charlotte and I, I didn’t even pay Eliza any attention until you walked into the room,” Sidney protested, “I get why Charlotte isn’t talking to me. She doesn’t like that I hid it from her and I’m angry that she hid the dirt track from me- which you did ask well.”<br/>
“She looked so scarred when she asked me Sidney that I just couldn’t say no,” Arthur said innocently, “I thought you’d have found out sooner to be honest, she must have got some sort of injury from it- it wasn’t a crazy accident but it was enough to shake us all.”<br/>
“She got bruises which I’d meant to ask her about again after I saw them in the shower-“<br/>
“Eww Sidney,” Arthur said loudly, “I don’t want to know what your doing to Charlotte and I definitely don’t want to know where.”<br/>
“Right now its not anywhere,” Sidney said with an edge of frustration.<br/>
“And who’s fault is that,” Arthur retorted, putting down the volume on the radio. </p><p>Yawning loudly, Arthur opened the case of CD’s in Sidney’s car and slowly flicked through them. Landing on a Beatles album, Arthur quickly pulled out the Rolling Stones and slid the Beatles on. </p><p>“Sidney you will apologise won’t you?” Arthur asked, “you won’t just stand around and wait for Charlotte to come to you first?”<br/>
“I’ll try,” Sidney sighed.<br/>
“Try isn’t good enough Sidney. The more you wait, the more this will hurt. She’ll probably just say goodbye and leave if you don’t say something,” Arthur said.<br/>
“People don't need to say goodbye before they leave you. Sometimes, they just walk out of your life,” Sidney sighed.<br/>
“She’s not Eliza,” Arthur said.<br/>
“I know and I know a lot of what Eliza did to me, she did because I let her. I blamed her for everything when really, it’s me. I pined for her whilst she lived her life. I chased her. I wooed her back. I let her get away with it,” Sidney said, feeling a stinging in his eyes, “and now I feel like it’s just become a part of who I am. Like it’s been programmed into my brain- that I can’t love anyone right because I’m afraid that everything I touch I just ruin.”<br/>
“unlearn it Sidney because that’s not true,” Arthur said.<br/>
“I can’t,” Sidney whispered.<br/>
“Why not?”<br/>
“Because I’ve been standing in the same place for so long Arthur, that the ground has begun to grow over my feet. Dad. Mum. My friends on the track. Eliza. Even Tom. I’ve lost everyone in one way or another,” Sidney exhaled sharply, trying to blink away his blurring vision, “and I thought that that was a bad thing. That I was stunting my own growth but I finally realised, that I was happy to be in the same place for the rest of my life if I had someone beside me to share that with. And now I’ve lost that too,” Sidney said.<br/>
“Then act like you care and go fight for her instead of giving it all this bravado and sitting on all your swallowed pride,” Arthur said.<br/>
“I've been dying to let out everything that's in my heart,” Sidney said. "But I am terrified that I might spill too much. And if that happens, then, I can’t make it stop. I could never take it all back... and somehow I always feel like that person will never be enough for anyone. She doesn’t think love is enough to fix this Arthur. And I’m petrified that if she sees the scars in my heart that she’ll not want me any more.”<br/>
Arthur paused to think for a moment before he turned to look at Sidney, “do you love her? Like actually love her?”<br/>
“Yes,” Sidney said quickly and without having to think, “it’s not even because of the way she looks- all her physical characteristics seem to have disappeared when I think of her. I love her energy and the way her scent lingers for days on my skin. I love the way I see the essence of her and not the shell. I like the way she ignites the fire in my bones- like the universe is knitted in them, and when she looks in my eyes... god it’s like the embers of the galaxies glow in her. I love her all the time. Like every minute. Of everyday. I wake and I think of her. I sleep and I think of her. I love her. I love her. I love her.”<br/>
“And why don’t you tell her that?” Arthur said.<br/>
“Because she doesn’t me to tell her I love her anymore,” Sidney said hopelessly.<br/>
“If you don’t tell her, she won’t know- and then you’ll lose her forever. Your doing that thing again Sidney- running. You ran away from your problems by not telling Charlotte last week. You ran on Friday when things got too much. You always run,” Arthur scoffed.</p><p>Arthur folded his arms and turned to look out of his window. He was frustrated with Sidney and simply didn’t want to listen or talk to him anymore. Sidney tightened the grip around his the steering wheel and as the roads cleared and the blood pumped more quickly to his chest, he pressed his foot down further and further on the accelerator. </p><p>“Sidney?” Arthur said wearily, holding the door handle of the Aston Martin.<br/>
“What is it Arthur?” Sidney said quickly.<br/>
“Please slow down,” Arthur said nervously, slightly afraid of what Sidney might do if he put his foot down any more. When he didn’t hear him the first time, Arthur said it again more loudly, “slow down Sidney!”</p><p>Seeing a rest bay on the side of the road, Sidney took his foot off the accelerator and swiftly pulled up to the spot just past the “Welcome to Sanditon” sign. His mind was ravenous with thoughts. Sidney could hear Arthur’s heavy breathing next to him and sat quietly as Arthur steadied has shaking hands. </p><p>“Sidney I could have died,” Arthur said breathlessly.<br/>
“Sorry,” Sidney whispered.<br/>
“Sidney you need to get yourself together. Charlotte doesn’t need a hot mess- I don’t need a hot mess. She needs someone who can treat her the way she deserves,” Arthur said.<br/>
“What if do all of these things to try and fix this and I still end up being in the exact same situation?" Sidney asked, “Even if I make a different choice. What if she still doesn’t think I’m enough? What if love really isn’t enough? What if she doesn’t think I’m somebody worthy of loving?”<br/>
“Sidney,” Arthur said, looking his brother directly in the eyes, “but what if she does?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title:<br/>The Rolling Stone- As Tears Go By</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Don’t Look Back In Anger</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tiredly, Sidney listened to the monotonous elevator music as he made his way up to Susan’s office. He was exhausted. He had left Sanditon exactly two hours ago to make this meeting with Susan at two o’clock on a Friday. He had had an awful week and what he really wanted to do was climb into a car and drive to some place where no one would know him or disturb him. Instead, he walked through Susan’s office with a smile plastered onto his face. </p><p>“Susan,” Sidney said, looking at her sat happily behind her desk.<br/>
“Sidney,” Susan smiled, standing up and approaching him, “thank you for getting down here so quickly.”<br/>
“Well when I get an urgent call from you Susan, I don’t mess about,” Sidney said, hugging her tightly, “what fires need putting out today?”</p><p>Settling into the chair, Rose entered the room. She placed some files on Susan’s table before she took coffee orders. As they waited for her to return, Susan and Sidney spoke about Susan’s stressful week at the law firm. Once their coffee were set on the table, conversation turned to Sidney. </p><p>“How’s the investigation going?” Susan asked, shaking her packet of sugar before she tore off the top and poured it into her coffee.<br/>
“So far they’ve only been looking through our files but they won’t say anything. They’re interviewing our staff next week,” Sidney said, pressing the warm cup against the palm of his hand.<br/>
“And how is the special lady of your life,” Susan smiled.<br/>
“Umm,” Sidney thought carefully as he cleared his throat, “special at a distance.” </p><p>Sidney had got back to the office on Monday and searched for Charlotte. When he had finally found out that she was at a test run on the dirt track, he had no time to get their before the board members turned up. He tried to catch her after work but on most days, the board members kept him back- asking him several questions he had no answers to and trying to find all the documents they had called for. Sidney had messaged Charlotte- asking her if he could speak with her but she kept ignoring him. No response to his messages and no answers to his calls. He finally got a message this morning.</p><p>‘I need space and time.’</p><p>He tried not to be disheartened by it. He had finally found his words. He had written them down to her many times- deleting them in text and scribbling them out on the paper. They were words that needed to be said from his lips- he just needed the chance to speak. </p><p>Instead, Sidney spent the week focusing on what he could fix. But his thoughts often trailed back to Charlotte and how he had a lot regrets about that. It was hard to be anywhere these days when all he wanted was her but when he saw her next, her wanted her to see that this was him trying. And that meant fixing things he could. He got on the phone with Susan the first chance he got- telling her to do whatever she could to get this divorce put through the courts as quickly as possible. He would rather be bankrupt and ruined than stay married to her any more. </p><p>“What did you do?” Susan raised an eyebrow.<br/>
Sidney rubbed his forehead, “let’s get down to business.”<br/>
“If you wish,” Susan said, pulling out a thick file as she smirked, “how was Saturday night Sidney?”<br/>
“Can’t say I remember it all too well I’m afraid,” Sidney said curiously. </p><p>Throwing the file across the table, Sidney put down his cup and picked up the file. He flicked through it as if it were a magazine until he actually registered what it contained. Sidney began to flick through the pages slowly, and felt his breath catch in his throat as he saw images of Arthur and himself, jumping over Eliza’s garden wall and walking out her front door. Disheveled wasn’t even the appropriate word for how they looked.</p><p>“Where did you get these?” Sidney asked, unable to take his eyes off the photos, “is Eliza blackmailing us with these?”<br/>
“Blackmailing is a harsh word,” Susan said as she settled into her seat, “I prefer the term leverage.”<br/>
“What are they trying to get from us now? I already told you on Tuesday Susan that she can have whatever she wants. I really don’t care- I want her gone,” Sidney said in frustration.<br/>
“Sidney, your not giving her a thing,” Susan smiled.<br/>
“What?” Sidney said, looking up at her.<br/>
“Last five photos in that file,” Susan said.</p><p>Sidney quickly flipped to the end of the file and looked at the photographs carefully. All the images were dated and time stamped. Five hours before he and Arthur had broken into Eliza’s house, there was a man entering the property. Ten minutes after the Parker brothers left, so did the man. He entered in a pristine suit which didn’t quite look the same when he left. </p><p>“What does this prove?” Sidney asked, his brain telling him to not get excited prematurely.<br/>
“She’s trying to get our case thrown out by telling the judge she is doing everything she can to save this marriage,” Susan said, sipping her coffee, “why would a man be at her house- leaving in a particularly scruffy state, if she was trying to save the marriage.”<br/>
Sidney carefully looked at the photos and thought, “Not to throw a spanner in the works, but you have photos of Arthur and me there as well. Can’t she say he was there to see us?” Sidney asked.<br/>
“She could,” Susan said sitting forward, “but my PI has five other occasions where that man was coming out of her house just in the last week. All sorts of hours. We even managed to get a kiss on the front door step.”</p><p>It took Sidney a minute to process the information. This had been holding them back. They never had physical proof but now they did. They could actually take something to the judge. Sidney looked up at Susan and broke out into a big smile- full of relief. </p><p>“So I can be free of her?” Sidney said.<br/>
“Well need another month,” Susan said, pulling out some more papers from her stack of files, “I need to files some papers, see a judge and renegotiate the divorce settlement with her lawyers.”<br/>
“Renegotiate?” Sidney asked, closing the file and putting it on Sudan’s desk.<br/>
“We’re not giving her a penny Sidney,” Susan said, “or your house.”<br/>
“I don’t care about the material things,” Sidney sighed.<br/>
“I’m still working on your company Sidney,” Susan said, “I’ve got someone filing through that paperwork night and day.” </p><p>Sidney sat quietly in his seat and thought about the Parker Team. He had started it as a small side hobby when he first left university. He wanted to do something to honour his father’s legacy. His father loved the open road and the roar of the engine. The adrenaline of the drive and the high of the speed. Sidney carefully constructed the team- finding investors, drivers and mechanics who he could trust and would be the best. As all the chess pieces fell into place and Sidney began to pitch for official races, his personal life began to crumble. </p><p>Eliza was his first Love. When Sidney fell in love with her, he had a heart that was broken from loss and yet so innocent—so pure, when it came to romantic love. He got butterflies dancing and colourful rainbows when he saw her. His cheeks turned red and he became speechless around her- in the best of ways. When he said those three words for the first time, he genuinely meant it with every fibre of his being. And when she dumped him- turning up already married to someone else, Sidney didn’t know how to unlearn those feelings. He didn’t know how to un learn her face. From the colour of her eyes to the curve of her nose. It ached everywhere. And Sidney didn’t know what to heal first. He did what he always did when he got angry, he gambled. He started small but then got in deeper. He started boxing in underground fights to help pay off his debts- earning enough from a single fight to make a dent in the debt. But everything spiralled and he began to fall, Tom held out his hand to catch Sidney. Tom invested in the company and the Parker team was back on track. </p><p>Five years later and Eliza was back. The team was doing well and Sidney was a well know driver on all the circuits. As soon as he laid his eyes on the her, every curve and line of her face that Sidney had tried to forget had come rushing back to him, along with the butterflies that had alway pinned for her. Regretting her was like wishing he never found out that love could be that strong. And she was too intoxicating to regret, so for some time it worked.</p><p>But life had a funny way of laughing at you. </p><p>A car accident caused Sidney’s car to spiral off the tracks mid race. Months spent in hospital left Tom in charge and Eliza seething at the sight of him. And slowly, those things began to unravel as his company slipped into debt at Tom’s hands and Eliza found comfort in other hands.  </p><p>Sidney tried to make things work again. He travelled with the team and he always thought Eliza was waiting at home for him. He moved in with her. He married her. He started to plan a family with her. All the things that were on the list of life. The things he thought you were supposed to do. </p><p>But you can’t put a plaster on a flesh wound. Their problems had alway been there. And he needed to learn to let go. So one stormy morning, when he was swimming by the coves, he decided he just wanted to get back to where he used to be. No Eliza. Not debt. </p><p>Him. His cars. His fathers memory. </p><p>“I can cope without the company. I always thought it would be my fathers legacy. His boys winning the races but I should have realised when I first stood on that podium that my fathers legacy was not the racing team- it was his children,” Sidney said. </p><p>Sidney exhaled. He could smell the freshness of the air and for the first time in a while, he felt free. </p><p>“You pay me extremely well so I’ll keep looking just to be on the safe side,” Susan said, winking at him, “Are you going to go home and fix this other mess now? I miss that smile on your face. It was rare and I liked it.”<br/>
Sidney smiled,rubbing his tired eyes, “I’m going to drive back to Sanditon and file through the accounts and try and work out where Tom has put all our money,” Sidney exhaled, “She wants space Susan... I’ve tried to reach out but I can’t do anything until she lets me.”<br/>
“Just don’t wait too long Sidney,” Susan said, “you might miss your chance.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title:</p><p>Oasis- Don’t Look Back In Anger</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. What Difference Does It Make?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Oh shit,” Charlotte muttered as she bent down to hid behind the 66 in the garage.<br/>
“Charlotte what are you doing?” James asked, looking at her curiously.<br/>
“Shh,” Charlotte said from the ground.</p><p>Starring at her in confusion, James rested his hand on his hip and looked up around the garage. Nothing seemed to have changed until he looked through the glass walls of the office and he noticed Sidney and Arthur taking their seats in there. Sidney’s eyes seemed to be looking in their direction but when James stared just a second longer, Sidney looked down at the files on his desk. </p><p>Biting his lip, Stringer turned to look down at a small Charlotte, breathing quickly. Charlotte looked a mess- not just in the usual greasy sense. Her hair was tied messily in a low pony tail. Her eyes were tired and baggy. She looked like she was about to faint at any moment- the colour flushed from her skin. </p><p>“What’s up with you?” James asked, crouching down beside her.<br/>
“I just need a minute,” Charlotte said looking at James face and suddenly feeling rather under the weather, “pass me that bucket.”</p><p>Grabbing the small red bucket, James quickly placed it in front of her. As soon as it was there, Charlotte felt the contents of her stomach rush to pour out- not that she had much in her at the moment. It had been like that for most of the week and regularly in the morning.</p><p>“Charlotte are you okay?” James asked, rubbing her thigh in comfort.<br/>
“Fine,” Charlotte mumbled as she rested her spinning head against the the cold exterior of the car.<br/>
“Charlotte,” James said, waiting for Charlotte to nod before he carried on, “You know this car is the worse thing to hide behind right? It’s so low everyone can see us.”</p><p>Raising her head, Charlotte noticed the men in the garage shift around her- the low car letting everyone see her but politely refusing to comment. James stood up and dusted his trousers. Cradling her sick bucket like a child, Charlotte took James’s hand when he held his out for her. </p><p>Fixing her sight on the office, Charlotte could see Sidney reading through some papers. He was wearing a dark blue suit with a white shirt. There was no tie and Charlotte smiled as she recalled him telling her how much he hated them. </p><p>“Let’s go chat in my medical room. I’ll give you a work up,” James said softly.<br/>
“I don’t need a work up,” Charlotte said, shifting her eyes on the ground guiltily- as if she shouldn’t have been looking at him.<br/>
“Well you can clean up. You just vomited Charlotte. You need something,” James said sternly, holding out his arm for her to take, “trust me.”</p><p>Charlotte rolled her eyes and reluctantly follow him to the medical room. </p><p>*** </p><p>Sidney watched Charlotte walk out of the garage- arm in arm with James. He could feel the anger bubble away in the pit of his stomach as he tried and failed to focus on his work.</p><p>“Take a picture, it will last longer,” Arthur mumbled.<br/>
“What?” Sidney said, snapping out of his trance and looking at Arthur who was sat on the sofa.<br/>
“You stare at her all the time Sidney,” Arthur said, turning his phone off and slipping it into the inner pocket of his suit jacket.<br/>
“No I don’t,” Sidney protested.<br/>
“Tell your eyes that,” Arthur retorted. </p><p>Sidney exhaled loudly. Tapping his finger on the desk, he tried to focus again. Today was the last day of employee interviews as part of the investigation and he was worried. Jacob had been called back in. Eliza was coming down with a board member from London. They had specifically asked Sidney to stay behind after hours for a meeting. But his mind could only think of Charlotte.</p><p>“Have you spoken to her?” Arthur asked.<br/>
“I’ve tried- but she doesn’t want to hear my voice on the phone, let alone see me,” Sidney sighed.<br/>
“Sidney thats a pathetic excuse and you know it,” Arthur said, “how will she know your serious if you don’t even give it your all- just once.”<br/>
“I’m listening to her and respecting her wishes,” Sidney said quietly.<br/>
“Your making both of you miserable,” Arthur said, looking around the room, “why doesn’t Tom keep wine in here anymore?”<br/>
“Arthur,” Sidney snapped, “I’m listening to her and listening to what she is saying and showing me. She doesn’t want to see me. So I’m not seeing her. And for your information I went to her house Tuesday night but she wasn’t home,” Sidney rubbed the bridge of his nose to try and calm himself down, “there’s also no wine in here because your drink like a cow and we’re doing the sober thing remember.” </p><p>Arthur slumped into the couch and sighed. He had promised to reduce his nervous drinking habit for his brother. He had a high tolerance and always depended on alcohol to help settle his nerves and although that was often fine, it was clear this was not a healthy habit.</p><p>Sidney shuffled in his seat. He just didn’t know what to do anymore. How did he respect Charlottes wishes and still show her he loved her? He had started with Eliza and the divorce, but Charlotte didn’t know that. She hadn’t spoken to any of them in weeks. </p><p>“I’m just really worried about her Sidney,” Arthur said, running his hand over his lip.<br/>
“And I’m not?” Sidney spat, turning slowly in his chair.<br/>
“She’s been avoiding me. I don’t blame her but I wish she’d just let me apologise,” Arthur said.<br/>
“It’s not your fault Arthur. It’s all mine,” Sidney said, throwing his pen onto the desk, “I’m sorry for putting you in the middle. It was short sighted of me.”</p><p>Arthur sat and stared at Sidney. He could see his brothers mind running wild. </p><p>They were both concerned about Charlotte. They had never seen her look the way that she currently did. Her frame thinning. Her appearance dishevelled. Yet every time either of them approached her in the office, she turned away or asked them to speak with someone else. Arthur had particularly tried to make amends. He’d come into the garage on many occasions and even asked Charlotte to explain an engine to him just so he could speak with her (not that he had even the slightest idea of what anything was). It was of no use though. She just told Leroy to do it as she didn’t have the time. </p><p>“She looks like hell you know,” Arthur said, standing up and looking at the garage door where Charlotte had walked out of.<br/>
“Thanks,” Sidney scoffed, feeling entirely responsible for Charlottes actions- a consequence of his own. Sidney was certain he could build a castle from all the bricks thrown at him- each one labelled with exactly how he had hurt Charlotte.<br/>
“Sidney she looks exhausted. I’ve seen her run out of a room more times than I’ve ever known anyone to do so. She looks pale. She’s dizzy,” Arthur listed.<br/>
“I get it Arthur,” Sidney snapped, looking up at his brother and instantly regretting it, “Crowe told me he’s seen her at the bar a few times at night. She was there on Tuesday and pretty much everyday last week.”<br/>
“Do you think she’s hitting the bottle?” Arthur said.<br/>
“I don’t know,” Sidney said, “I just know she’s not-“<br/>
“Don’t finish that sentence,” Arthur said, closing his eyes as he tried to dispel the imagine in his mind.<br/>
“I wasnt going to go there Arthur because I actually love her and want to be with her for more than that, but that’s also not a lie,” Sidney sighed, staring at the desk and smiling.<br/>
Arthur looked at Sidney and almost immediately gagged, “you did it on the desk?”<br/>
“Arthur I’m not sharing the intimate details of my life with you,” Sidney said.<br/>
“This past week I’ve learnt that when you look at things with a certain look, it means you’ve done that,” Arthur said, sticking his tongue out with an eww, “did you do it on the sofa I just sat on or the chair? Or the floor?” </p><p>Arthur looked at Sidney with a slightly horrified look. Sidney pushed his lips together and averted his eyes to the desk, </p><p>“did you leave anywhere untouched?” Arthur said in fake disgust.<br/>
Sidney laughed and just shook his head, “Satan is going to be here soon.”<br/>
“Why?” Arthur groaned.<br/>
“I have no idea but I know from Susan, that she’s not happy at all. So this will be fun,” Sidney said, rolling his eyes. </p><p>***</p><p>“Charlotte, what is up with you?” James said, sitting down on his swivel stool.</p><p>Charlotte sat slumped in the plastic armchair beside his desk. Her spinning head was rested against the wall and everything felt too loud to her suddenly. Chewing on a lemon sherbet to help stop her feeling sick again, Charlotte just wanted to crawl into a bed.</p><p>“I’m fine,” Charlotte said, accepting the glass of water James slid towards her.<br/>
“Every day I’ve been here for the past two weeks, you’ve been running off to vomit, feeling dizzy or nauseous at certain smells,” James said, treading carefully.<br/>
“Your point?” Charlotte asked, rolling her eyes to look at him.<br/>
“Are you pregnant?” James said bluntly.<br/>
“Definitely not,” Charlotte quickly snorted.<br/>
“Are you sure?”<br/>
“I’m fairly sure.”<br/>
“All the symptoms suggest you are. Have you been... careful?”<br/>
“James- i know your a doctor but your also my friend,” Charlotte said, sitting up in her chair and looking at him directly, “I’d really rather not discussion my personal choice of contraception with you or be mansplained about how you get pregnant- and I’m not pregnant for the record.”<br/>
“But you aren’t touching any of the heavy equipment or even driving the cars to test them,” James said.<br/>
“I’m basically hungover all the time- that’s why I haven’t been driving,” Charlotte said, slightly embarrassed. </p><p>Charlotte fiddled with the zip of her overalls. She had caused a spiral of a mess in her life and instead of dealing with them, she did what all her friends usually told her to do. Drink for a week or so and then move on. But she couldn’t move on. Sidney was still on her mind all the time but she didn’t want to see him. She didn’t even want to know him right now. But he lived in here and never seemed to give her peace.</p><p>“What’s causing all this sudden drinking Charlotte?” James asked.<br/>
“My... my boyfriend and I had a fight and he’s been trying to talk to me for the past two weeks but I don’t want to talk to him,” Charlotte said quietly- already knowing she’d been very stupid.<br/>
“That doesn’t sound very healthy or very mature Charlotte,” James said.<br/>
“I’ve dealt with it,”Charlotte said, shaking her head as if she was agreeing with the statement from her mouth rather than actually saying it.<br/>
“How?” James asked skeptically.<br/>
“I kind of broke up with my boyfriend over a message and then proceeded to avoid him profusely- and his whole family,” Charlotte said before sighing, “god I’m five years old.” </p><p>Slumping in her chair, Charlotte thought about the past two weeks. The nights at the clubs and the drinking at home. She wanted to be oblivious to every feeling she felt. Sadness. Happiness. Hurt. Anything. </p><p>Charlotte paused to reminisce all the good and bad times that she and Sidney had together over the past few months. This was the most sober and clear headed she had been since Saturday two weeks ago. </p><p>She remembered the times she tried pushing her feelings for him away- and now she was pushing him away. She was hurt but like Mary said, was this pain really worth the loss- did what Sidney do, really become something so unforgivable?</p><p>Charlotte’s mind wondered. What if she hadn’t fallen in love with him? Would she still care about him? Would he be one of those people who left her once he knew he was going to be ignored by her? Or would she run back to him and stand firmly by his side?  Right now, she honestly didn’t know what she’d do. Because from the moment she had seen him,  she had never imagined being away from him. She never really saw herself leaving him. Charlotte had never seen herself  not caring about him. And that was the reason why this all hurt. </p><p>And now Charlotte could finally admit it to herself. That  no matter how hard she tried to move her feet miles apart from him, She couldn’t. She just couldn’t run away from him. </p><p>The tears streamed slowly down her face and Charlotte accepted the tissue that James handed her. </p><p>“I know I didn’t do the right thing and I know the drinking isn’t right but... I get home and there this insurmountable wave of hurt that hits me as soon as I walk through the door and I just want to forget,” Charlotte sighed, “I’ve seen this thing play out before and I really didn’t like it. Drinking meant that for a few short hours, I wouldn’t remember... until I wake up in the morning with the same memories and the mourning.”<br/>
“Charlotte look,” James said, “Sidney can be an idiot.”<br/>
“You know?” Charlotte asked, looking up at him.<br/>
“I think we’ve all worked it out,” James said, “Sidneys a... a weird guy. I don’t know much but I’ve known him since I was twelve and he has baggage.”<br/>
“James,” Charlotte sighed, “please don’t say it. I’m so tired of everyone telling me that he was messed up by her, you know? No one can mess you up unless you let them.”<br/>
“I agree. And that’s why I think you should give him the chance to explain,” James said.<br/>
“I love him,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Its clear he loves you as much as you love him- just looking at you two the past week has made that clear. Then, why are the both of you are not still together?” he asked.<br/>
“Because I’m too scared he’ll hurt me again or sweet talk me inti believing the skeletons in our closet don’t exist when they do,” Charlotte said quietly.<br/>
“Charlotte this is all quite simple. If you love each other- stop avoiding each other and just talk,” James said.<br/>
“I’m.. I’m just really worried that I’ll just.... I’ll look at him and just let it all go because I want him more than I can explain,” Charlotte said, “all the hurt and anger. I’ll forgive it when I look in his eyes and we won’t sort out anything.”<br/>
“If you do, will that be so bad?” James said.<br/>
Charlotte groaned loudly, “I need therapy.”<br/>
Stringer laughed, “you don’t need therapy- you and Sidney both need to learn to talk to each other. Very easy and much cheaper.”<br/>
“Thank you,” Charlotte said, exhaling slowly.<br/>
“To be fair,” James said, smiling, “I’d look at him and forgive him as well. I mean look at that face right?”</p><p>Charlotte laughed. Checking her watch.</p><p>“Thanks James,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“You’ll actually talk to him?” James asked.<br/>
“I have another interview with the board members now but tonight. I’ll definitely talk to him tonight,” Charlotte smiled.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title:<br/>The Smiths- What Difference Does It Make?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Cry Cry Cry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Her blood burned in her veins as she walked out of the meeting room into the garage. Charlotte was furious and the rage that burned in her was brighter than anything she had ever felt before. </p><p>Biting her lip as she walked, Charlotte turned to look at the office. Her eyes fixed on the perfectly laid blonde hair and crisp emerald suit that stood between a dapper Sidney and Arthur. </p><p>Immediately Charlotte stormed towards the office, ignoring the concerned looks of the pit members and mechanics as her boots hit the ground. Pushing the door open, Charlotte looked directly at Eliza. </p><p>“You bitch!” Charlotte shouted as soon as she had Eliza’s attention. </p><p>Without any warning and without even thinking it through, Charlotte launched herself at Eliza. The force of Charlotte coming at her dropped both of them onto the ground and Charlotte climbed on top of her. All Charlotte could see was red as she slapped Eliza’s face over and over again. Eliza hit back a couple of times but Charlotte wasn’t going to let her get any more- she had grown up in too many fights with her brothers to have lost the skills she once had. </p><p>Charlotte was so consumed with anger that she didn’t notice James entering the office or Sidney and Arthur calling her name. As she gripped Eliza’s hair and began to yank at it, Charlotte felt a tight grip around her waist as Sidney pulled her off of Eliza. Charlotte clutched harder onto Eliza’s hair- not willing to stop, but eventually Sidney had pulled her back far enough that Charlotte felt the strands slip through her grip. </p><p>“Let go of me!” Charlotte shouted.<br/>
“Charlotte stop,” Sidney said calmly as he felt her shaking in his arms.<br/>
“Let me at her!” Charlotte screamed.<br/>
“Calm down Charlotte,” Sidney said, trying his best to hold her back.<br/>
“I’m going to kill you Eliza!” Charlotte said, “my fucking job!”</p><p>As Charlotte kicked her legs in the air and tried to wiggle an escape from Sidney’s arms, Eliza stood there and smirked at her as James moved to check her red cheeks and split lip. All eyes were on them in the office but Charlotte didn’t care. </p><p>“How low are you going to go?” Charlotte shouted, still struggling to release herself from Sidney’s arms.<br/>
“James, Arthur please take Eliza,” Sidney said firmly as he held Charlotte tightly in his arms, but felt himself slowly become powerless to her rage.<br/>
“Im not leaving,” Eliza said, swatting James’s hand away from her face, “She can leave. I’m here for a meeting.”<br/>
“Take Eliza,” Sidney said more sternly.<br/>
“Sidney I own-“<br/>
“Eliza get the fuck out of this office before I get someone to pick you up and drag you out of here kicking and screaming,” Sidney barked. </p><p>Eliza stood there, gritting her teeth. Arthur grabbed her arm to help guide her out of the room, but Eliza quickly pulled it away. Fixing her suit jacket and pulling on an air of grace, Eliza very reluctantly dragged herself out of the office as Arthur and James slowly followed behind her. </p><p>James paused at the door for a moment. Turning on his heels, he looked back at Charlotte as she stood on her own two feet- Sidney releasing his arms from around her waist. </p><p>“Charlotte are you okay?” James said hesitantly, “medically I mean? There was no punches anywhere?”<br/>
“I can take a punch,” Charlotte said angrily.<br/>
“Charlotte-“<br/>
“I’m fine James,” Charlotte snapped. Closing her eyes, she exhaled sharply, “I’m sorry. I’m fine James.” </p><p>Hesitant but unable to do any more, James walked out the office quietly- shutting the glass door behind him and watching all the workman shuffle to get back to work and pretend that they weren’t watching every move in the office. </p><p>As James left, Sidney turned to look at Charlotte. He had a hand resting on his hip as he rubbed the other over his face tiredly. He didn’t need this today. Not when he was already putting out a number of metaphorical fires. </p><p>“What?” Charlotte gritted as he stared at her.<br/>
“Well?” Sidney said, looking at her with concern as he waited for an explanation. </p><p>Biting her bottom lip, Charlotte crossed her arms over her chest and looked down at the ground. She knew she’d have to explain this situation but she didn’t want to. Not to Sidney anyway. </p><p>“I’m your boss here Charlotte. In a professional capacity I need to know why the hell you just launched yourself into a share holder,” Sidney said, tapping his fingers against his hip as a number of thoughts ran through his mind.<br/>
Charlotte scoffed, “of course you’d defend her.”<br/>
“Charlotte I’m not defending her. What I am is concerned at your sudden out burst at someone,” Sidney said, staring at Charlotte, “what the hell was that Charlotte?”</p><p>Looking up at him, Charlotte locked eyes with Sidney for a minute. She considered telling a white lie. A small lie that would get her out of the office door and into a car to the nearest bar. She considered just walking away and saying nothing. But the more she looked at the worry lines forming on his face and noticed the unevenness of his breath, she knew she had to be the one to tell him. </p><p>“I’ve been put on an indefinite leave pending an investigation,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“What?” Sidney said louder than he intended, “why?”<br/>
“Because I’ve been sleeping with my boss,” Charlotte said quietly, dropping down onto the sofa.</p><p>Exhaling in frustration, Charlotte rubbed her temples as her anger washed away and transformed into quiet tears. </p><p>Standing paralysed for a moment, Sidney stood there and just swallowed the information. He was her boss. He had been sleeping with Charlotte but it wasn’t anything to be investigated. Love was not an investigation. </p><p>Swallowing hard, Sidney decided to shut the blinds. Slowly he made his way around the room and pulled the string. The workers had seen enough of this show. Once all the blinds were down, Sidney sat down at the other end of the sofa besides Charlotte- close enough to touch her if she allowed but far enough that he was not invading her space. </p><p>“Charlotte what do you mean by investigated for sleeping with the boss?“ Sidney said, hesitant about his approach.<br/>
“Sidney she told them I slept my way to my job,” Charlotte said tearfully, unable to lift her head to look at him, “Eliza told them I slept my way to my job.”<br/>
“Well she’s wrong and we can prove it. We won’t let her get away with this. We’ll go through all the proper channels and prove it,” Sidney said.<br/>
“You don’t get it,” Charlotte said, looking at him with tears rolling down her face, “I’ve had so many rumours like this pop up. It comes with the territory of my job but that doesn’t make them hurt less.”<br/>
“Charlotte no one else here-“<br/>
“Jacob decided to cooperate with her and said that’s why you stood up for me. That you only targeted and fired him because you were trying to keep me sweet,” Charlotte sighed, straightening herself out and wiping the tears dripping from her chin, “I didn’t sleep with you for my job- I didn’t even know you when I got the job, but I have technically slept with the boss. That’s the annoying part.”<br/>
“Charlotte-“<br/>
“I’m so stupid!” Charlotte groaned in anger.<br/>
“Listen to me Charlotte,” Sidney said, “Your not stupid and you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. If anything it’s on me for not telling the board myself- they can’t stop a relationship but they probably needed a heads up. We can fix this.”<br/>
“Sidney...this isn’t about a relationship. This is a smear campaign. You’ll come out of this with no damage done- claims proven false or not. Me? I’ll be carrying a scarlet letter for the rest of my career,” Charlotte said, wiping the hot tears from her cheeks.<br/>
“Charlotte we can prove these claims wrong,” Sidney said adamantly.<br/>
“That won’t make a difference,” Charlotte sighed.<br/>
“Why ever not?” Sidney said.<br/>
“Can you prove my feelings for you are false? Because I can’t fake that they aren’t there. I can’t sit in a room and tell someone that I haven’t slept with you. That I haven’t got feeling for you. That I don’t-,” Charlotte stopped to think, careful of her words, “All my career I’ve had to prove myself five times over just to be granted access into the room. The glass ceiling was so high, forget breaking it, I had to fight tooth and nail to just be allowed in the glass house.”<br/>
“Charlotte we hired you based on your skills,” Sidney said quickly.<br/>
“I know but even the men here treated me like crap until I proved myself. Even now they’re hesitant to listen to me. As soon as something goes wrong, it’s automatically put on me- not because I’m the chief engineer but because I’m a woman. I get given a rougher time because I’m a woman.”<br/>
“Well how do we fix this Charlotte? How can I make it better?” Sidney asked, clenching his jaw as he felt his own anger glaring.<br/>
“I don’t know,” Charlotte exhaled, turning to look him in the eyes, “She wants to ruin me. For what? Falling in love? With you?”<br/>
“Charlotte,” Sidney said, moving closer to her and taking Charlottes hands into his own, “I won’t let her win.”<br/>
“I think... I think she already has,” Charlotte breathed out, “I’m tired of fighting for everything I have Sidney. Everything I’ve loved has claw marks in because I just didn’t know when to let go.”<br/>
“Please dont say that,” Sidney said in almost a whisper.</p><p>Looking at him, Charlotte licked her lips and looked down at her lap- Sidney’s hand still intertwined around hers. For weeks she had failed to see anything clearly. Tunnelled visioned and drinking her way to an oasis that no longer existed. But now, in the light of an uncertain future, Charlotte was beginning to think more clearly. Fitting her hand around Sidney’s, Charlotte settled back into the sofa and jut stared at their hands so perfectly moulded into one another’s. </p><p>“When I was young, I thought I wanted to be a race car driver- like Alicia,” Charlotte said, clearing her throat as the tears dried on her face. “Papa taught me how to drive and fix the cars because he said a good driver knew how to work his tools. Whenever I was on the track with a helmet on, no one would know if I was a boy or a girl. I was treated the way I deserved,” Charlotte sighed, tapping her finger nervously on the back of Sidney’s clasped hand, “But I didn’t love it. I didn’t want to drive the cars, I wanted to fix them. Find ways to make them faster. But as soon as I got under the hood of a car or inside the cockpit, everyone decided I needed limits. I needed to be a certain way. Act a certain way. I had to put limits on myself just to make the men around me comfortable. I have fought for myself for so long, I don’t want to any more.”<br/>
“Wait, Charlotte,” Sidney looked at her in confusion, “what are you saying?”<br/>
“I think,” Charlotte said, forcing a smile on her face as she cried, “I think it means it’s time to pack up and go home...to Willingden.”<br/>
“Charlotte you can’t let Eliza scare you off from your job. We hired you because your the best. This team needs the best,” Sidney said, his eyes searching hers, “no.”<br/>
“This investigation is going to ruin me Sidney, and I think I just... I need to take-“ Charlotte stopped talking. </p><p>There were too many thoughts spinning in her head as she looked at him. She needed to tell him that she loved him. She needed to tell him that she forgave him. She needed to tell him that she wanted to try this again. But Charlotte also knew that right now she needed to breath because although Sidney, the team, Sanditon and the cars had all grown a beautiful garden in her chest... she now couldn’t breath. </p><p>Opening her mouth, Charlotte thought she had the right words but as was accustom to their tragic love story, the office door burst open to reveal a flustered Arthur gasping for air. Charlotte and Sidney immediately shot their eyes in his direction as Arthur tightened his hand around the door handle. </p><p>“Sidney!” Arthur shouted, breathless and red.<br/>
“Arthur?” Sidney said, looking at him with concern,”what?”<br/>
“It’s Crowe! Come quickly,” Arthur said. </p><p>Running out onto the track, Charlotte and Sidney pushed through the people to get to the front. </p><p>Standing there, they watched medics pull Crowe’s body out of the wreckage. James was at the front and looked cautiously over to them as he tried to feel for a pulse. He was unsure for a moment, but when he felt the faintest of beats, he sighed in relief. Charlotte, Sidney and the whole audience released the sharp breath that they had been holding. </p><p>Looking around, Sidney hardened his heart as an all too familiar sight drew itself across the once pristine track, </p><p>The concrete wall that Crowe had driven into was cracked. The front of the 66 was completely trashed- parts of the exterior laying as debris all over the track. The force of the impact had sent the suspension back into the cockpit. The raised cockpit had provided some protection for Crowe but it was uncertain just how much protection it had given the driver. A single wheel had come off the front of the car- the upper wish bone entirely broken and the push rod smashed. The wheel was still rolling around the track as the medical team moved Crowe into the ambulance. </p><p>Charlotte examined the damage. She was certain Crowe must have been doing at least 190 miles per hour to get this type of damage. She was furious. She had given clear instructions to not let him get in the car today. </p><p>Last night, Charlotte had spent most of the evening with Crowe. They shared tequila shots and stiff whiskeys in the club. She had shared a cab back home with him. Hearing him shout her name as she waved goodbye to him from her front door. She had spent many nights with Crowe like that- a strong friendship forming between the two. Crowe- although he was one of Sidney’s best friends, was the only person who didn’t ask Charlotte about Sidney or her feelings. He was just her friend and there to look out for her. </p><p>Now he was lying on a stretcher fighting for his life.</p><p>“What the hell happened?” Sidney said, swallowing his fears for his best friend and his own anxiety to try and keep a cool head.<br/>
“He was testing the car and just lost control,” Leroy said quickly, unable to take his eyes off of the ruined car.<br/>
“He was testing the car?” Charlotte asked curtly, “he should have never been in the car! I gave strict instructions to not let him in.”<br/>
“It was out of my hands,” Leroy said.<br/>
“What was he doing in the car Leroy?” Sidney asked calmly.<br/>
“The board wanted to see the car run and insisted we try it. I told them we couldn’t because we had no driver fit to drive but you know how bold Crowe can get,” Leroy said.<br/>
“Sidney,” James called as he walked toward him, “I’m going to the hospital with him. Meet you there?”<br/>
“Yes,” Sidney said quickly.<br/>
“I’m coming with you,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Is that a good idea?” Sidney asked hesitantly.<br/>
“He was my friend, I’m coming with you,” Charlotte said.</p><p>Sidney didn’t argue and the two of them drove in silence to the hospital. Neither of them had the words to say anything- shock taking over ever fibre of their body. </p><p>They sat for hours in the waiting room as nurses and doctors updated them on Crowe’s condition. With no immediate family and a distant uncle living it large in Ibiza, Crowe had written Sidney down as his next of kin. Sidney thanked and cursed him at the same time. He remembered watching people make decision after car crashes- his mother, his friends parents, even Tom would have done so for him. Sidney had never wanted to make these decisions and now he had no choice. </p><p>Sat beside one another, Charlotte leaned her head on Sidney’s shoulder as they waited for a surgeon to come and update them on Crowe’s surgery. They had already been there for seven hours and the midnight sky was beginning to shine in the summer heat. </p><p>As their eyes began to tire, they heard a doctor approach them. Crowe had suffered multiple internal bleeds, broken bones as well as severe swelling to the brain. The internal bleeds had been stopped but they would not be able to update Sidney on Crowe’s condition until he woke up. For now, he had been placed in an induced coma to help the swelling go down. </p><p>Sighing in relief, the two sat beside each other. Their hands intertwined as they said a silent prayer- they both knew Crowe’s fight was far from over. </p><p>“Charlotte?” Sidney said quietly.<br/>
“Sidney,” Charlotte said turning to look at him and seeing the tear stains on his cheek.<br/>
“I know it’s selfish.... but I really don’t want to be alone tonight,” Sidney said.<br/>
Charlotte stared at Sidney for a moment before she squeezed his hand in hers, “Neither do I.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for all the lovely comments- as alway I really appreciate them. </p><p>Title:<br/>Coldplay- Cry Cry Cry</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. How Soon Is Now?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pushing through the front door of Sidneys house into his hallway, Charlotte and Sidneys lips were hungrily pressed against each other’s lips. </p><p>The goosebumps on Charlottes body on the ride from the hospital to his house, had been too tempting and as soon as they entered the house, Sidney made a move. Charlotte groaned in agreement, automatically putting her fingers around his neck and closing her eyes as her feet carried her along the familiar path. </p><p>The zip of Charlotte’s overall was quickly lowered by Sidneys eager fingers and he trailed soft kisses along her shoulder blade. His arms wrapped tightly around her waist- he didn’t want to let her go. He couldn’t. Not tonight. </p><p>As they stepped towards the stairs, Charlotte could feel Sidneys hand running down her stomach as she kissed him with need. She was still dressed but the touch of his fingertips against her stomach made her feel like she wasn’t wearing anything at all. </p><p>Hitting the stairs, Charlotte turned on her feet to walk up them. Sidney loosened his hands from around her waist just enough for Charlotte to move but, not enough for her to leave him entirely. As they stepped up the stairs together, Sidney rested his lips on the crook of Charlottes neck. Her skin still had that familiar sweet taste and slowly, Sidney sucked her skin with his mouth. Step by step, Charlotte leaned against him more and more as she craved him more eagerly. </p><p>Once they were at the top of the stairs, Charlotte immediately put her hands through Sidneys curls and pressed her lips into his. Every movement was more meaningful than before. They wanted to soak each other in and find a comfort in each other that they hadn’t sought after before. Sidney’s hands moved all by themselves and he let them wander over Charlotte’s skin. Slowly they moved from her waist, over the very thin fabric of her bra to the sleeves of her overalls. Pushing his bedroom door open, Sidney pushed his fingers over her shoulders and pushed the overalls down.</p><p>“Sidney,” Charlotte said breathlessly.</p><p>His dark eyes were staring at hers and as he moved closer to her, his eyes fell on her lips. He hesitated for a moment. He needed her. But did she need him just as much?</p><p>Sensing his reluctance, Charlotte rose to her tiptoes and opened her mouth to kiss his passionately. Hers finger ran through his hair and pulled him closer as they stepped back towards the bed and her overalls fell silently to the ground. Sidney pressed his body into hers as his tongue wrapped around Charlotte’s and entered her mouth. </p><p>Charlottes own fingers began to explore Sidneys body more freely. She pulled at the top buttons of his shirt and slipped her hands down the back of his neck to his shoulders- feeling every muscle and recalling the memory of his bare skin against her fingertips. The air was thick in the silence of their wanting breaths. Charlotte’s fingers were trembling as she trailed them along his chest and undid the remaining buttons of his shirt.  Sidneys eyes met hers as Charlotte pushed the shirt off his shoulders. </p><p>Slowly, Charlotte put both her hands on his bare chest and felt that electric surge she had so missed. She stroked slowly at his chest before she pushed her head up and crashed her lips into his. She bit the soft pink flesh of his lips as Sidneys hands slid over her thighs, under her underwear and cupped her ass as he lifted her. Charlotte wrapped her legs around his waist and his hard cock pressed directly against her sensitive middle as he carried her to his bed. </p><p>Their lips still pressed against each other, Charlotte moaned into his mouth. Her legs pulled him even closer to her as Sidneys hands slid all over her skin- her ribs, her waist, her thighs. </p><p>Charlottes petite body stayed in his arms as Sidney laid her down on his bed and climbed on top of her. Charlotte could feel his hard cock press against her thigh as he kissed her lips gently and her desire to feel him inside her began to spiral with insane want and need. </p><p>Sidney slowly pulled away from her mouth and slid his lips down her skin. He moved down her neck, along her shoulder, over the straps of her bra and down towards her breasts. His fingers felt the thin black fabric of her bra and with a moan, Sidney kissed the valley between her breasts- his wet lips tingling against her warm, bare skin. Charlotte arched her spine and tilted her head back as she moaned softly into the air. Sidney’s tongue sent electric surges through her veins as it moved along her skin. </p><p>Moving his head, Sidney licked the soft top of her breast. His fingers explored her skin and moved gently to the clasp on her back as Sidney pressed his lips into the valley of her breast again- his breath heavy and his lips wet. </p><p>Flicking her bra over his shoulder, Sidney moaned softly as he opened his mouth and licked her hard nipple. Charlotte was breathing as hard as he was. Sidney sucked harder on them. </p><p>Charlotte closed her eyes as she felt his rough beard on her sensitive skin. Sidneys hot breath was driving her insane and she wrapped her leg around his hip to draw him in closer to her as her lips tingled for him. Charlotte ran her hands through his hair and gently tugged at it until Sidney raised his head to hers. She gently kissed him and felt her skin shiver under his the touch as Sidneys finger ran over her ribs and cupped her breasts.</p><p>Sidney whispered her name gently against her lips before he searched to intertwine his tongue with hers and kiss her passionately.  Charlotte slid her hands over his shoulders and pulled him closer to her- stroking his tongue in his mouth.</p><p>Moving his hands down her side, they both looked at each other as Sidney knelt over her. His hands moved quickly from her ribs to her hips to her underwear. He put his fingers under the waistband and Charlotte raised her hips so he could pull the fabric down. Sidneys eyes burned with desire and Charlotte let out a moan as Sidney lowered his head and gently placed wet kisses over her stomach. </p><p>Trailing his head up to her, Sidney’s tongue played with her bare skin until they reached her lips. Pushing his lips onto hers, their lips moved hungrily against the soft pink flesh of the others. As his hands trailed over her breasts and down to her thighs, Charlotte knew she couldn’t take the teasing anymore. She reluctantly let go of his lips and pushed his so he lay flat on the bed beside her. Charlotte climbed on top so she could straddled him- feeling his hardness press against her as she rubbed her hips against him. </p><p>Bending down, Charlotte kissed him hard as she ran her hands over his chest. Sidney slid his fingers down to her thigh and sat up so they were sat in the comfort of each other’s arms. His touch excited her and Charlotte waited a moment to calm herself down. Once she was relaxed, her fingers grabbed gently onto his curls as they fought to dive their tongue into the others. She gently ran her hands over his naked torso down to the hard bulge in his trousers. </p><p>Sidney’s heart was racing as he gripped her thighs and felt his breath catch in his throat. </p><p>He watched Charlotte bit her lips before her fingers undid the belt and trembled to unbutton his trousers. Sidney felt like time had become too slow as she reached for his zipper and pulled it down- Sidney raising his hips so she could push them down. </p><p>Once all clothes had been removed, Sidney grabbed Charlottes head in the palm of his hand and pulled her close to him. Shoving his tongue into her mouth, he grabbed her ass with his other hand and flipped her over onto the bed- laying his body on top of hers. As she lay there, moaning into his mouth, Sidney wrapped his fingers around her thighs and pulled her legs around his waist. Charlotte felt him against her sensitive skin and lifted her hips up. </p><p>For a second, Sidney paused and just looked at her- his heart so full of happiness at having her so close to him again. Looking at her, he kissed her passionately as he pressed himself lightly against her opening. As Charlotte moaned his name, Sidney entered her with a deep thrust. </p><p>Charlotte moaned loudly and their cries of pleasure mingled in the air as Charlotte pressed against him. Panting, Sidney gripped her hips and carefully slid himself into her again. His lips searched for hers as he gently stroked inside of her. Lifting herself against his long and deep thrusts, they both moaned loudly into the others mouth as they hit the right spots again and again.</p><p>A knot of pure love simmered in the pit of their stomachs as they continued to move against each other as one. Their lips never parted as the waves of their climax grew. Moaning, they could hardly stand it any more and with one last deep thrust, they both came undone. </p><p>Sidney buried his head in her neck as they caught their breaths. </p><p>As they lay their during the night, time stood still. Neither wanted to talk as they felt the heat of the other radiate against their skin. They lay beside each other, just looking at the other in the darkness. Sidney painted round patterns on her bare belly, ribs and breasts. He liked the way her breath stilted every time her touched a new part of her skin. </p><p>Charlotte just stared at him. Her mind entirely too tired to pretended to fight the deep feelings she had for him. The ticking of the clock told her that it was getting late but she didn’t mind that he was taking up her time. Right now, there was never enough time with him and he was all that she need to fall into.</p><p>Wrapping themselves in each other’s arms, the two fell asleep besides each other. The heaviness in of their thoughts lingering in the air but their bed being a secret oasis. </p><p>***</p><p>Slipping out of Sidneys bed quietly, Charlotte looked at the clock. 6 am. </p><p>Her head hurt as she remembered the events of yesterday. Her job. Her love life. Crowe. All weighed heavily on her. </p><p>Finding his shirt on the floor, Charlotte slipped it on along with her underwear, and just sat at the edge of the bed. She turned back to look at a peacefully sleeping Sidney. Her heart strings tugged as if she was a puppet on a string. She was annoyed she’d slept with him. She didn’t regret it but she was angry at herself for doing it. She should of never let it get that far but she wanted comfort. She wanted his comfort. And she still felt so deeply for him. </p><p>In her mind... it was him. He was who she wanted to spend every morning with. </p><p>Exhaling quietly, Charlotte stood up and grabbed her clothes from the ground before tiptoeing out of the room as quietly as she could on her bare feet. Walking down the stairs, she walked over to the sofa and just sat there for a minute to catch her breath. The tears were brimming in her eyes. This was the first morning in a while that she wasn’t hungover and yet the headache felt more painful than ever. </p><p>“Morning,” a voice called.</p><p>Charlotte jumped in her seat- putting her hand over her mouth to stop the frightened screamed she felt from coming out and waking Sidney. Breathing heavily she turned to looked at Arthur stood in the doorway of the kitchen. He crunched on some toast as she calmed herself.</p><p>“You scared the hell out of me,” Charlotte said breathlessly.<br/>
“Can’t run from me now can you,” Arthur said proudly as he went into the kitchen. </p><p>Charlotte got up and followed him into the kitchen- she could smell the coffee beans as he opened a bag and suddenly craved a hit of black liquid. Sliding onto a stool, she stared at Arthur as he poured the hot stuff into a mug and slid it over to her. </p><p>“So, I assume you and Sidney spoke at the hospital then,” Arthur said, taking a seat besides her and smiling warmly.<br/>
Charlotte opened her mouth but shut it quickly, hesitant of how to proceed. Running her finger around the rim of her mug, she stared at the marble countertop, “we... there were...no.”<br/>
“What?” Arthur said, dropping his triangle piece of toast onto the plate and turning to look at her, “but I... last night... the early hours of the morning.”<br/>
“Did you hear all that?” Charlotte asked quietly, the heat flushing through her cheeks as they turned red.<br/>
“Hard not to,” Arthur whistled, turning to stare at his plate of food.<br/>
“Sorry. I didn’t know you were here,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“I don’t think that would have stopped either of you somehow,” Arthur said uncomfortably, eager to change the subject, “why didn’t you talk?”<br/>
“Your brothers face distracted me,” Charlotte joked, trying to raise a smile but failing to, “your brother’s like that song that you sing when you get in a car. You don’t know why you do it but every time it just comes out. It’s a comfort thing. When your feeling down, you get in the car and just sing. I really just needed someone last night,” Charlotte sighed, biting her lip as she realised that was perhaps too causal, “I needed him.”<br/>
Tapping his fingers on the table, Arthur thought for a moment before glancing at her beside him, “Charlotte, your just hurting yourself more. Your hurting him more,” Arthur said.<br/>
“I know,” Charlotte sighed.<br/>
“Do you?” Arthur said in frustration, “you’ve spent the past two weeks avoiding us both. Sidneys been going crazy trying to give you the space you desperately wanted whilst watching you turn up to work everyday looking like shit and wanting to just talk to you. He’s only human Charlotte. He just wants to be loved by someone who deserves it and to be honest I don’t think you deserve him.”<br/>
“Excuse me?” Charlotte said, her breathing fast as anger began to wash over her.<br/>
Arthur exhaled and calmed himself down. He didn’t want to start an argument but he couldn’t bite his tongue, “look Charlotte. If you want to be with him then be with him. His divorce is moving forward. He wants to settle down. He wants commitment. And I know he wants that from you. But if you don’t, then don’t dangle the carrot in front of his face like there’s hope- especially if all the hope is gone. I get that Crowe’s accident upset you and I know Sidneys probably a whole pile of emotions right now, but sleeping together like this isn’t working for anyone. Either way- talk to one another and decided once and for all.”<br/>
“Arthur-“<br/>
“Once and for all Charlotte. You can’t keep playing these games and going about this all in the wrong way,” Arthur said. </p><p>Charlotte sat there frozen by Arthur’s words. She could feel the tears stinging in her eyes and a lump in her throat. Looking up at Arthur, Charlotte opened her mouth to speak. To defend herself and her relationship in some way but she couldn’t find the words. Instead, she tapped her fingers on the table before exhaling.</p><p>“I have to go,” she whispered.</p><p>Pushing herself from the table, Charlotte quickly walked out the room. She grabbed her coat from the sofa and without even trying to put anything on, she walked straight out of the door. The tears immediately streamed down her face as she began to walk home. Arthur’s words heavy on her mind. Had Sidney changed his mind? Was last night just a comfort thing? Or worse... a goodbye?</p><p>Had she really waited too long?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title:</p><p>The Smiths- How Soon Is Now?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Hoax</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Feeling his body beginning to stir, Sidney tightened his eyes and laid in bed a little while longer so he could recall the events of the night. </p><p>He could recall 3am. He remembered snuggling with Charlotte in bed - up way beyond their bedtime. He whispered to her his fears. How desperately he wanted Crowe to wake up and how much he wanted to scream at Crowe when he did- doing something so stupid when they knew about all those tragedies. When they had seen so many tragedies together. </p><p>Sidney held Charlotte naked body tighter against his own as she whispered an “I love you” and fell into a deep slumber on his bare chest. Sidney gently ran his hand through her hair, thinking about how every life choice and every heartbreak had led him to her and now he couldn’t imagine a life without Charlotte in it. </p><p>Yawning, Sidney stretched his arms out to his side and expected to feel her warm body beside him but was disappointed to learn that his bed had turned cold where she had laid just a few hours ago. Leaning up on his elbows, Sidney looked around his room and when her scent still lingered in the air, Sidney assumed she was not far.</p><p>Putting on his boxers, Sidney ran his hand through his hair as he walked down the stairs. He was exhausted. His mind kept rushing back to Crowe and with each breath he took, Sidney said a silent prayer for his best friend. He couldn’t lose him. </p><p>Not another friend. </p><p>Not Crowe. </p><p>Wandering his eyes over each spot he walked past, Sidney paused when he hit the kitchen door. Sat on a stool eating toast and playing on his phone was his little brother.</p><p>“Arthur?” Sidney said in confusion as he walked into the kitchen, “what are you doing here?”<br/>
“You said I could stay here,” Arthur said, dissapointed his brother forget.<br/>
“Did I?” Sidney said, raising an eyebrow.<br/>
“Yes,” Arthur rolled his eyes, “when I said I needed someone to help me with my nerves and Diana started staying at mine. She watches me like a hawk now Sidney- you said you’d help me.”<br/>
“My minds else where Arthur, forgive me?” Sidney said, rubbing his neck as he approached the coffee pot.<br/>
“Fine,” Arthur groaned as he sipped on his coffee.</p><p>Arthur sat there and watched Sidneys eyes shuffle around the room. The frozen look on Sidneys face already told Arthur that Sidney had come to the realisation Charlotte wasn’t here but that hadn’t stopped Sidney from looking around and hoping he was wrong.</p><p>“What are you looking for?” Arthur asked.<br/>
“Nothing,” Sidney said, scratching his head.<br/>
“Your a terrible liar,” Arthur scoffed, “she’s not here.”<br/>
“Who’s not here?” Sidney said, grabbing the full coffe cup on the island and putting it in the sink.<br/>
“Jessica Alba,” Arthur said, rolling his eyes, “Charlotte of course Sidney.”<br/>
“I’m not-“<br/>
Arthur dropped his slice of toast onto his plate and sat up straight in is seat, “don’t even start Sidney. The two of you need to start banging your heads together and not just your bodies because this is getting ridiculous. You either want to be with each other or you don’t. Make a decision and do something about it.”<br/>
“Arthur it’s not that simple,” Sidney said, averting his eyes from Arthur’s direction.<br/>
“Simple? Why not? Because your mute? Because your brain doesn’t work? Because she’s moving to Timbuktu?” Arthur asked, “look Sidney. If you love someone- like really love them like you kept telling me you love Charlotte, you need to tell them. Even if you're scared that it's not the right thing or that it’s going to burn your life to the ground. Life only hands you a handful of second chances Sidney and I think you pretty low on them. Just tell her you love her-  say it loudly and proudly, and you go from there.”<br/>
“Arthur this is very complicated. There’s a lot going on and she doesn’t want to talk to me,” Sidney sighed.<br/>
“No. Your scared. If you told her half the stuff you told me Sidney everything would be so simple but whatever. I’m done with both of you,” Arthur said, dusting the toast crumbs on his hands over his plate and pushing his chair back.<br/>
“Where are you going Arthur?” Sidney said, rolling his head at Arthur.<br/>
“Home. Maybe to London. Apparently running away is the way we all do things now and I’ve had enough of you, Charlotte, Diana, Tom and everyone else,” Arthur said, “I also need a stiff drink which I can actually find at home.”</p><p>Sidney shouted his brothers name but Arthur has a coat on and was out the door faster than Sidney could speak. Standing in the kitchen as the door slammed. Sidney sighed. He went to sleep with two people in the house apparently, and now he was left standing alone. </p><p>Shaking his head, he sipped his coffee and checked the clock. Half an hour till visiting time, he thought. Gulping the hot drink, Sidney exhaled and dragged his bare feet on the ground up the stairs. He needed to get to the hospital.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>Driving in his Aston Martin, Sidney struggled to see clearly through his whooshing car wipers. The showers were heavy and never ending this Saturday morning and as he began his route to the hospital, his mind was consumed with thoughts of Charlotte and Crowe. </p><p>He needed to speak with Charlotte but with Arthur’s words so heavily on his mind, Sidney really didn’t know what he wanted to say any more. He was so sure when he woke up this morning but maybe Arthur was right. Maybe Sidney needed to accept this wasn’t a good idea. The thing was, Sidney knew he would eventually get over Charlotte if he had to. If she told him to leave her alone, he would accept it and leave. He would get over her saying no. But that’s not what broke his heart. It was the thought of how many long months of agony he knew he’d have to go through to forget every precious moment between them. How he would sometimes find his eyes going off, and finding her lips- staring at them. He would imagine the way she pronounced, “I love you,” and how her lips will curl up into a smile. And then he’d have to remember the way she’d say “I don’t want you”. </p><p>As he drove in the pouring rain, Sidney passed the cliff tops and stared out. He had walked along the cliff tops many times as a boy and as an adult he would work it into his jogging route. The perfect spot to just come and clear your mind. As he drove, Sidney noticed a small figure stood staring out at the sea and as he focused in on the silhouette, he realised it was Charlotte.</p><p>Immediately, Sidney pulled the car aside and stopped. Without giving it much thought, he got out the car and felt the rain quickly finding his bare skin as he ran over to her. </p><p>“Charlotte?” Sidney said, his shoulders tightening as the water fell harshly against him, “what are you doing out here in the pouring rain?”<br/>
“Sidney,” Charlotte said quietly, glancing her head over her shoulder to look at him- he voice drowned out by the sound of the heavy downpour. Charlotte gulped as she stood there frozen by the presence of him.<br/>
“Charlotte have you been home?” Sidney asked.</p><p>Shaking slightly from the chill, Sidney took note of his white shirt in her hand and her soaked through overalls from last night clinging to her petite frame. She looked tired and worn. Her hair was completely drenched, and her soft curls were too wet to even frizz. </p><p>“Charlotte let me take you home, your soaked through. You’ll catch a cold,” Sidney said, moving his hand forward to lead her to his car.<br/>
Charlotte pulled her arm back and looked at him with tearful eyes, “I can’t do this now.”</p><p>Sidney went to open his mouth but he didn’t seem to have the words to respond. Instead they stood six feet apart on the cliff top, frozen for a moment. Sidney rested his hand on his hip as the rain seeped through his clothes and he thought. He couldn’t just leave her out here. </p><p>Charlotte turned her head out to the sea. The pouring rain no longer bothered her as she had been stood there for a good half an hour- on her way home but unable to make the journey without stopping to think. Her heart was like a broke drum and she had no idea how to make it work again. </p><p>Looking at her, Sidney turned on his feet to leave. She clearly didn’t want to talk to him. However, as soon as he looked at his car, he turned back and stood firmly on his ground. He was so full of anger and the word from Arthur’s lips played heavily on his mind. </p><p>“What do you want from me Charlotte?” Sidney said, stiffening his upper lip as he looked at her.<br/>
“What?” Charlotte said, biting her lip. She turned so she was looking at him.<br/>
“I said what do you want from me because I don’t know and I’m getting a little tired of this. I mean did you even mean it when you whispered you loved me last night? Or was that really just because you didn’t want to be alone?” Sidney said, exhaling hopelessly.<br/>
“I do... I love you Sidney...and I do want this...because... I love you so much...but,” Charlotte stuttered, “but I just can’t deal with this right now.”<br/>
Sidney shook his head in frustration and then screamed, “No. you don’t get to do that. Give me a reason to stay Charlotte and it can’t be because you love me because I don’t know what that’s means any more... otherwise I can’t do this anymore.” </p><p>Her breath caught in her throat as the words from Sidneys lips hit her. Maybe Arthur was right, Charlotte thought. Maybe Sidney did want an out. But as the clogs of her brain moved more quickly Charlotte knew she didn’t want him to leave. She had avoided him for two weeks because she was hurt but she alway wanted him. At 2 am in the morning when she was sad. When she walked through her front door and wanted to share her day at work. When she got exciting news. When she needed comfort. When she needed a friend. Sidney was always the first thought she had. She was longing for him and in her pride... she may have lost him. </p><p>“Look, I get it Charlotte,” Sidney sighed, his voice ripping through the sound of rain, “I did something that I shouldn’t have but I’ve accounted for those mistakes- or at least tried to. I’ve tried to change. I wasn’t looking for anything before I met you but then you came like autumn, and I fell like leaves do- so naturally shedding my past because I thought I knew my future with you would be so bright and colourful. And I thought this-us, would make me happy for once. I didn’t even want anything else Charlotte. I just wanted to be happy but-“<br/>
“But?” Charlotte asked, her doe-eyes looking up at him.<br/>
“Life is a never-ending war,” Sidney said, looking down at his feet, “Fighting for your happiness while you're drowning in darkness. You can't see any light, because every fucking thing was cloaked with black. You're trying to swim, you're trying to reach the surface. Damn, you're struggling just to breathe air," Sidney looked up, and sadly smiled, "I was there, a lot of times. In the end, I stopped fighting. Instead I started to explore and took advantage of it- I looked at you and thought I didn’t want any other shade of black if it meant I could do it all with you. I closed my eyes and listened to myself for the first time. I shut my eyes and hoped. Sometimes, you don't have to fight your own self just to survive, because in the end, it is your own heart. It is your own soul that will let you understand what you truly want in life and I truly wanted you but you... you just left.”<br/>
“I didn’t leave,” Charlotte said, trying to hold back her tears.<br/>
“You left the first chance you got Charlotte. People fight but they also talk. You never wanted to talk. For weeks you refused to talk to me and you just ran away,” Sidney said quietly.<br/>
“You know," Charlotte began, "it's funny that I've been exhausting myself by running away from reality,” Charlotte took a deep breath and said, "but every time I run, I always ended up facing it instead.”<br/>
“Charlotte I get it. I love you and... I get it and if I can’t get love..." Sidney said, "...please let me have peace, instead. Because I can’t stay in limbo.” </p><p>Charlotte stared at him. The tears stung in her eyes as she tried to put her words together. Her heart was screaming at her. Telling her to stop him from walking away but every time she opened her mouth, the words just wouldn’t come out of her mouth. </p><p>Staring at his sad eyes, Charlotte knew it was now or never and with so much uncertainty in her life right now, she knew she didn’t want this as well. Taking a deep breath, Charlotte shaking pulled herself together. </p><p>"The first thing I do when I wake up is miss you, The last thing I do before I sleep is miss you,” Charlotte said, her tears streaming freely down her face, “I don’t feel like I have the right to tell you about what’s going on in my life anymore because I pushed you away, so I run away to my dreams and find you there instead. And I’ve told you time and time again that I’m okay but I’m not okay,” Charlotte exhaled sharply as she tried to steady her shaking voice, “I say "I'm okay" the way I say the sky is blue. It is never just blue. It's raging, it's unstable, and at times, it cries enough to flood cities like today.”<br/>
“Charlotte,” Sidney said breathlessly.<br/>
“I love you,” Charlotte said, looking Sidney directly in his eyes, “Happy days are days that I get to see you. A happy day is a day that you smile beautifully at me... because I love you. I love you. I do. You...You are tenderness and grace. You are life and so much more.”<br/>
“Charlotte,” Sidney said, trying to speak.<br/>
Charlotte ignored the ringing of her name in the rain, “I just...I love you. And I have been trying not to say it. I have been trying so hard to just push it down and ignore it and not say it… but I can’t because I am so in fricking in love with you. It’s like we have a language of mouths, verses and kisses. Where the word is not enough and the only valid translator is the feeling. But right now all I have is words and all those words just want you to know how much I love you. You’re in me. Like an infliction. Like... your the measles and I just can’t think about anything or anybody else and I can’t sleep. I can’t breathe.. And I don’t need you. But I really want you because I love you. I love you all the time. Every minute of every day- even when I’m so angry at you that I hate you, I love you. I love you. I love you and I love you.”<br/>
“Charlotte,” Sidney said, stepping forward towards her.<br/>
“But I’m so scared,” Charlotte said, looking at him hopelessly, “What if this isn’t meant for us? For this life time? This galaxy?”<br/>
"Charlotte,” Sidney said, placing his hands gently on her shoulders and staring at her, “then, I need to find another galaxy to live in,” he said, almost smiling. </p><p>Charlotte looked at him, confused at what he was saying. She silently waited for him until he continued.</p><p>“Because maybe in another galaxy, maybe in another world, there's you and me. Together. Not like this. Not ending up as if we never knew each other. Not ending up as if we could never understand one another. Not ending up, breaking each other,” Sidney sighed and slowly brought his hands to his pockets so she couldn't see how they were shaking, "I hope I could bring you with me there... where we could make it work."<br/>
“We already are,” Charlotte said quickly.<br/>
“What?”<br/>
“I’m all in,” Charlotte said, “No secrets. No lies. Just us because for me... your the only one. I’m here and I can keep telling you how I feel if you need me to. And we’ll both probably get pneumonia from the rain,” Charlotte laughed as she held out her hands to feel the pelting rain against her skin, “but if you need me to start listing the reasons why I love you. Why I want this. Why even with the shit show of our lives, I would rather stand in the dark with you...I could go all day Mr Sidney Parker... because I love you.”</p><p>Charlotte reached up her hands and grabbed the back of Sidneys necks. Pulling his closes to her, Charlotte got on her tiptoes and pushed her lips into his before he could open his mouth and say something to her. </p><p>Sidney was originally surprised by Charlottes forwardness but he didn’t mind. He kissed her back just as passionately. Charlotte slipped her tongue into his mouth and intertwined them together. </p><p>Sipping on each other lips as the rain came down on them, Sidney and Charlotte were both hanging on to each other like a thread. </p><p>A single thread that ran from a spot under his rib cage all the way to hers.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title:<br/>Taylor Swift- Hoax</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Lucky Strike</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pulling the roast chicken out of the oven, Charlotte placed the hot tray onto the marble island and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. </p><p>A week at home had driven her insane. There was very little she could do at her house and even less to do at Sidneys house while he was at work. Having been driven to breaking point on day one (having spent six hours obsessively cleaning her house and then Sidneys) Charlotte resorted to comfort cooking. She decided she would take the time to enhance her cooking skills- trying her best to keep herself busy and not think about everything at work and Eliza.</p><p>Eliza had shown her face once during the week when Charlotte had to go in to be interviewed yet again. The swelling of Eliza’s lip was still there and Charlotte had to press her lips together to suppress a laugh that was coming. The interview was tedious and everything Charlotte had expected. It was clear Eliza had really spun a story for the board and it took everything in Charlotte to not just scream out of frustration as question after question insinuated that she had slept her way up to her job.</p><p>“Hi honey I’m home,” Sidney sang as he walked in through his front door. </p><p>Smelling the rosemary in the air, Sidney smiled as he heard Charlottes soft laugh sing out of the kitchen. Sidney threw his briefcase and suit jacket onto the sofa and walked over to the kitchen, eager to see Charlotte. Wrapping his arms around her waist as Charlotte moved her chicken onto a board to rest, Sidney nuzzled his head into her neck.</p><p>Charlotte laughed. Throwing the oven mitts onto the counter, Charlotte put her arms on his shoulders, “good day?”<br/>
“Amazing,” Sidney said wrapping his hands around her face, “that smells amazing.”<br/>
“Just call me chef Heywood,” Charlotte smiled, giving Sidney a wink.<br/>
“The burnt leg of lamb from Monday might disagree with that ranking just yet,” Sidney joked.</p><p>Gasping, Charlotte dramatically faked offence. Holding a hand to her chest, she moved to covered her chicken out Sidneys sight before he could jokingly mock that. Both of them burst out into laughter. Charlotte looked at Sidney. He seemed lighter. Happier almost. </p><p>“Why are you so chipper?” Charlotte asked.<br/>
“Can’t I just be happy?” Sidney said.<br/>
“You can but that doesn’t sound like you,” Charlotte said, sticking out her tongue at him as she put the oven mits back over the railing of the oven.<br/>
“Susan called,” Sidney said, leaning against the island as he watched Charlotte put the dirty utensils from the island into the sink.<br/>
“And there it is,” Charlotte laughed, “what did she say?”<br/>
“The judge has approved the decree nisi and in six weeks I will officially be free from Eliza. And Susan said not to worry about the settlement- apparently she has it all in hand,” Sidney smiled.<br/>
“That’s great!” Charlotte said.</p><p>Charlotte slipped her hands over his shoulders and pulled Sidney towards her. Kissing him passionately. </p><p>“What’s wrong?” Sidney said, looking at her.<br/>
“Nothing,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Charlotte,” Sidney said sternly.<br/>
“It’s nothing. I’m just really bored at home. I need to work but I can’t work and I feel like everyone around me is getting on with work whilst I’m stuck in limbo,” Charlotte groaned.<br/>
“It’s only one more week Charlotte,” Sidney said, trying to sound reassuring.<br/>
“I know but I miss work so much. I’m bored all the time,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Your always welcome to spend the day at the garage,” Sidney offered.<br/>
“But I’m not actually allowed to touch anything and with the reconstruction of the 66 happening, I’d really want to,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Did you go to the hospital today?” Sidney asked, trying to change the topic.</p><p>Charlotte paused to breathe. Since she had no job, Charlotte spent a good couple of hours at the hospital everyday. Sidney (who was listed as Crowe’s next of kin) had approved Charlotte on the visitors list and as Charlotte had the time on her hands, she spent the moments she could besides Crowe’s bed. He had been on a ventilator for a few days and as he was still not responding, Charlotte spent a lot of her time venting to him- the nurses didn’t think he’d remember any of it when he woke anyway and said a familiar voice could be helpful to his recovery. </p><p>Crowe had become the only friend she could talk to over the past few weeks and him not being able to respond didn’t stop Charlotte from telling him everything. Her blossoming love for Sidney. Her anger towards Eliza. Her frustrations with the board. Her desire to just drop everything and run back to her childhood bedroom on her family farm in Willingden. Her fear that Crowe wouldn’t come back to her and that she needed him to fight harder to prove her wrong. </p><p>“Yes. The swelling on his brain has gone down and there doesn’t seem to be any infection from the surgery. They’re going to see if he can breath without the ventilator on Monday and if he can, then we’ll just have to wait and see when he’ll wake up,” Charlotte sighed.<br/>
“I’ll go tomorrow,” Sidney said, running his hands over his scruffy beard.<br/>
“Don’t you have to go to London?” Charlotte asked.<br/>
“That can wait till Monday. The first day of practice isn’t until Tuesday anyway and if I get there early, the board will probably just have more questions for me,” Sidney said.<br/>
“How is the investigation coming along?” Charlotte asked.<br/>
“I would love for someone to tell me to be honest,” Sidney said frustratedly, “they won’t tell me a thing- keep saying it will be in the file when they finish but they never seem to be finishing. On top of that, Tom still won’t tell me anything and continues to have these secret meetings. I almost followed him to one just yesterday you know.”<br/>
“What stopped you?” Charlotte asked.<br/>
“I decided to just come home to you instead,” Sidney sighed.</p><p>Charlotte turned her attention back to her resting chicken as she blushed furiously at his words. Despite everything that had happened over the past week, Charlotte was genuinely happy to be with him- enjoying the general homeliness of their routine (even if it was a bit mundane at times). Feeling the happy butterflies of her stomach settle a little bit, Charlotte walked over to Sidney and wrapped her arms around his waist. </p><p>“It’ll all be okay,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Yes your probably right,” Sidney exhaled, wrapping his arms around her and pecking her on her head, “I just don’t want Tom to do anything more stupid.”</p><p>The two of them stood in the kitchen just hugging one another for a few moments- melting into each other’s warmth and closeness. They could feel their racing heartbeats as they suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to just be close to one another. Charlotte’s hands slowly moved up Sidneys back and she tiptoed to kiss him. Slowly, Charlotte sucked on his bottom lip and as Sidney opened his mouth, Charlotte slid her tongue in and their tongues danced slowly and sensually. </p><p>Pulling her in closer to him, Sidney curled Charlottes tongue into his, gently moving his lips over Charlottes as he tightened his hands around her waist. Charlotte moaned softly, enjoying the feel of his body pressing into her as she greedily returned his kiss. As if it was second nature to her, Charlotte reached her fingers up into his hair, her body lusting after his. </p><p>"We don’t need dinner right?” murmured Sidney, letting his lips brush lightly over Charlottes mouth. </p><p>Charlotte sipped on Sidney’s lips and kissed him back passionately- Sidney taking her soft kisses as an answer. </p><p>The two of them began to stumble out of the kitchen- not once stopping to look around or take their lips off the others. Sidneys hands slipped over Charlottes shirt dress (pulling open her buttons as he did) and down her neckline. Charlotte tilted her head back slightly as Sidney’s touch sent electric surges through her body. Immediately, Sidney placed his wet lips against the skin of her throat. Gently, he sucked her soft skin and ran his tongue over her racing pulse as his hands gripped either side of her hips. </p><p>Moaning, Charlotte pulled Sidneys black shirt out of his trousers and let her hands slide in- softly stroking his hard cock. Sidney let out a pleasurable hiss into her skin and pressed his face further against her hot neck. Grabbing her wrists out of his trousers, Sidney pulled Charlottes hands out- not ready for her just yet. </p><p>Sucking softly into her neck, Sidney ran his hand up Charlottes sides and over her breast. Charlotte slipped her hands under Sidneys buttoned up shirt and ran her hand across his sides to his abs. Sidney felt himself shiver- his hand tightening around her breast and his hips pressing into hers as he felt the heat between them. </p><p>"Charlotte,” Sidney said her name breathlessly. Aware that she was wearing too many layers of clothing for his liking right now.  </p><p>Hungrily, Sidneys lips searched for hers and when they met, he kissed her deeply, causing them both to moan into each other’s mouths. As their tongues caressed the others, Charlotte wasted no time in undoing the top buttons of his shirt and gripped onto the hem of the shirt to pull the dark fabric over his head. </p><p>Throwing the shirt over behind her, Charlotte grabbed Sidneys face and pulled him closer to her. She kissed him desperately.</p><p>Sidney reached his fingers out to her hair and caressed her as they locked lips in his living room. Wrapping a hand around her waist, Sidney lifted Charlotte up and pressed her into him. Charlotte barely managed to detached herself from his lips as she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist as Sidney began to climb up the stairs. They both wanted each other desperately. As Charlotte presses against him more tightly with each step, Sidney felt like his legs would give away at any moment. </p><p>Charlotte sucked more hungrily at Sidneys neck- his hard cock pressing against her most sensitive part as they moved up the stairs. </p><p>Putting Charlotte down on the floor once they had reached his bedroom, Sidney quickly took off his shoes and socks. He watched Charlotte hypnotically as she slowly slid off her unbuttoned dress and dropped it to the floor. Her fingers then Slid down, over her belly to her hips and, pushing her thumbs under her underwear, Charlotte slowly slipped them off. </p><p>Sidneys heart was pounding as he saw her standing there naked. With one big step, he reached out for her, grabbing her soft thighs with his hands and lifting her up. Charlotte immediately wrapped her arms around his neck as she sucked on his wet lips- groaning loudly as their tongues collided. Her hard nipples pressed against his bare torso and as his hands wrapped around her thighs, it only made her want more. </p><p>Sidney kneeled one leg on the mattress as he reached the bed and laid Charlotte down gently. As Sidney began to move back, Charlotte grabbed onto his belt and hastily undid the buckle and pulled down his trousers. Sidney trailed his fingers on the inside of her thighs and the sensation caused Charlotte to let go of him before she got to his boxers. Charlotte tilted her head back when Sidneys fingers hovered over her delicate, wet folds. Slowly, Sidney slid his fingers into her slit and Charlotte let out a moan. </p><p>Lowering his head, Sidney tenderly sucked on Charlottes hard nipple as he heard his name whimper from her mouth. As he sucked on her breast and his fingers drew circles inside of her, Charlotte rose her hips and moaned his name into the air- feeling herself lose control. His name running off her tongue, only made Sidney more determined and as her hips roast again, Sidney couldn’t resist her. He pulled his fingers out and gently entered her again- pushing into her tight, damp warmth and listening as she moaned loudly. </p><p>Reaching her fingers into his hair, Charlotte pulled Sidneys head up to hers and arched her back as he kissed her- slipping his tongue into her mouth and intertwining his with hers. Whimpering, Charlotte arched against him, returned his deep, passionate kiss, and pulled her fingernails over his back.</p><p>With his mouth open, Sidney pulled his lips away from Charlotte’s and slid his mouth down her skin and over her hips. Stopping at the top of her thigh, Sidney placed gentle kisses on Charlotte’s twitching skin before he carefully placed himself between her spread thighs. Charlotte saw his head sink slowly and the heat from his heavy breath hit her most delicate of places.</p><p>Opening his lips, Sidney slowly licked along the whole length of her slit with his tongue. Charlotte let out a loud moan as Sidneys lips closed around her sensitive entrance. As Charlotte raised her hips and moaned more loudly, Sidney sucked harder- moving his tongue gently around her until he could see Charlotte had climaxed. </p><p>As Charlotte trembled, Sidney moved his lips gently up her body. His open mouth trailed slowly and when he reached her neck, he sucked at her skin before continuing to her mouth. Charlotte breathlessly grabbed Sidneys hair and pulled him closer to her- kissing him hard and desperately. </p><p>Wrapping his arms around her, Sidney sucked the skin over Charlotte’s pulse point- the beat of her heart drumming against his wet lips. Charlotte took the opportunity to push Sidney down on the bed and climbed on top of him. She devoured his lips and tongue as the need to be with him became stronger. Sidneys hands gently stroked Charlotte’s bare shoulders and sides as he felt her hands trail down him. </p><p>Slowly, Charlotte slipped her hand under the waistband of his boxers and pushed them down. Her hand ran along his full length and as Sidney moaned, Charlotte moved herself down his body and put her lips on the soft skin of his cock. Sidney moaned as Charlotte sucked softly on his wet tip with her mouth. </p><p>Sidneys eyes rolled back as Charlotte sucked hard with her open mouth and licked his whole length with her tongue. Charlotte teases him. Taking her time to move along his length and using her tongue to lick slowly- sucking as she went along. Sidney could hardly hold himself together as Charlotte got rougher.</p><p>After he came undone, he grabbed Charlotte by the arm and pulled her up, on top of him. Charlotte fingertips stroked the back of his head as he held her close to him. He passionately kissed her as he grabbed her breast with one hand and gently massaged it. </p><p>Unable to hold back any longer, Charlotte shifted her body slightly and spread her legs slightly. She wrapped her arms around Sidneys neck and gently bit on his ear seductively. Sidney moved himself so that his tip pressed against her sensitive entrance and then slowly he slid his pulsating cock into her. </p><p>Charlotte moaned into his ear as she felt him deep inside of her. Lustfully, Charlotte moved her lips to lick his. Sidney moaned into her mouth as he gently pushed his forehead into hers. Running his hand over her body, Sidney enjoyed the feeling of her hard nipples under his fingers and her warm skin burning him with every touch. He hissed as Charlotte moved her hips on top of him and slowly began to ride him- sliding his hard cock into her wet slit over and over again. Sidney put his hands firmly on her ass to help sync himself with Charlotte as her inner walls closed around him. </p><p>Moving as one, Charlotte screamed out loud when she came undone and felt her insides explode. Sidney pressed Charlotte firmly into him as she rode the waves of her orgasm. Their heavy breaths mingled in the air as Sidney moved forward breathlessly and kissed her lips gently- licking his tongue over her lip and sinking into her mouth. </p><p>Charlotte could still feel his hard cock inside of her. She let him roll her over onto her back as she pulled him closer and returned his deep kiss. </p><p>Sidney intertwined their hands next to her head onto her bed and dug his face into her neck. He moved quickly. His thrusts hard and deep, as Charlotte screamed softly and bent against him. He whispered her name over and over again as he felt himself begin to come undone.</p><p>The closer he got to his release, the harder his thrusts became. Her wet walls closed around him again. Sidney fell apart and muffled his own moan in Charlotte’s neck as he poured into her. Breathlessly, they both came undone.</p><p>Sidney couldn't move. His heart was racing. He gently ran his lips and scruffy beard over her collarbone and then rested his cheek on her breast and breathed deeply and evenly.</p><p>He smiled to himself as he soaked in Charlotte’s scent. Fate had a weird way of working but Sidney was certain that everything so far in his life had led him up to this moment. To have his place be in her arms and hers in his. </p><p>Trailing his finger along Charlotte’s left arm, Sidney noticed for the first time that Charlotte had a small, circular, skin colour plaster on inside of her arm. He touched it curiously. </p><p>“Charlotte?” Sidney said.<br/>
“Yeah,” Charlotte said, her eyes closed as she leaned her head back against the headboard.<br/>
“Why do you have a plaster on your arm?” Sidney asked.<br/>
“I just had a small blood test at the hospital today,” Charlotte said causally.<br/>
“Test for what?” Sidney persisted.<br/>
“There’s nothing to worry about,” Charlotte said, resting her hand on the side of his face as she looked down at him on her chest, “everything came back negative and normal. James just told me to get a regular check up and I did. I’m 100% fine.” </p><p>Sidney exhaled in relief and Charlotte felt the goosebumps on her skin as his hot breath blew across her skin. Slowly, Sidney trailed small circles all over her. Their bed was his secret oasis. A safe haven from the world. Here, his worries about his company, his divorce and most importantly Crowe, were minuscule. It was just him and Charlotte. Looking at her plaster, he felt his heart relax. He wouldn’t be able to bare anything happening to her. </p><p>Charlotte sat and thought about the week ahead. Sidney would be in London and Silverstone for the races and originally she would have followed the team for the event. However, with no chance of getting involved, Charlotte knew she didn’t want to just stand around and watch people do a job she knew she could better. She didn’t want to stay in Sanditon either. Suddenly, Sanditon felt too small for her and too claustrophobic. She needed comfort and if Sidney was away, she knew she’d need it elsewhere. </p><p>“Sidney,” Charlotte said, running her fingers through his curly hair.<br/>
“Hmm,” Sidney said.<br/>
“I’m going to go to Willingden for a few days,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“What?” Sidney said, sitting up, “but... what about London?”<br/>
“I can’t sit in the pit and do nothing Sidney. You’ll all be busy making sure the new driver likes the car and that everything complies with the rules. You’ll be so busy you won’t even notice I’m gone,” Charlotte smiled weakly.<br/>
“I always notice when your not there Charlotte,” Sidney sighed.<br/>
“Sidney it’s for the best. You need to stay focused,” Charlotte smiled, “besides I haven’t been home in four months now and it’s only a 30 minutes drive from the hospital so I can still check in on Crowe.”<br/>
“I always wondered what life was like for you growing up in Willingden,” Sidney said.<br/>
“Well, nothing ever really happens in Willingden,”  Charlotte said.<br/>
“Oh I doubt that,” Sidney laughed.<br/>
“Seriously,” Charlotte said, fixing the pillow behind her back and sitting up more comfortably in the bed, “Willingden was very quite and when there was something to talk about, it would often just be about me- so wasn’t very exciting.”<br/>
“Oh so you were a trouble maker then?” Sidney smirked.<br/>
“Not necessarily a troublemaker but I was definitely a topic of discussion- girls wanting to play with ‘boys’ toys usually are,” Charlotte rolled her eyes.<br/>
“What did they talk about?” Sidney asked curiously.<br/>
“Well it was a small place and everything that happened just became a source of gossip. The fact I wanted to fix cars instead of cook was a huge point of contention for a while until my dad told everyone where to stick- which then became the point of contention because no one appreciated being spoken to like that. I’ll never forget the first time I made it onto the towns agenda. It was the time I had my-“ Charlotte stopped before she could finish the sentence.<br/>
“First what?” Sidney said, sitting up beside her.<br/>
“My first kiss,” Charlotte said awkwardly, “we’ve never talked about stuff like that before have we.”<br/>
“No,” Sidney said, “but the past is the past and I kind of do want to know everything about you- especially since I’m sure I’m a much better kisser than that guy.”<br/>
Charlotte laughed, “I had my first kiss on a tractor on the farm with a boy called Josh Grolin. He was two years older than me and I was twelve at the time,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Twelve?” Sidney laughed.<br/>
“Yes twelve. Someone from the next farm up saw us and he told my dad and everyone in the village. Everyone was in uproar and said we were setting a bad example for other kids by publicly kissing. It so funny when I think about it now, but I felt really bad about it at the time. It was only really a peck,” Charlotte giggled, “I don’t think there’s been a single romance besides ours that hasn’t been reported around my village.”<br/>
“Do I want to know how many?” Sidney said, raising an eyebrow.<br/>
“Not that much- maybe six,” Charlotte said, “for a long time people in the village had an ax to grid for me.”<br/>
“Why?”<br/>
“For all the boys who broke my heart,” Charlotte smiled, “they would literally shout at the boys for me. It was kind of sweet.”<br/>
“Thanks for the warning,” Sidney said wearily, “I’ll be sure to be on my best behaviour when you take me.”<br/>
“Who said I was taking you home?” Charlotte said, taking his hand into hers and intertwining their fingers.<br/>
“Are you not taking me home to meet your parents?” Sidney asked jokingly but feeling a knot in his stomach.<br/>
“Not this trip,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“But soon?” Sidney asked.<br/>
Charlotte thought about it for a moment, “when the times right. We got this endless summer love and it’s only just kind of begun. I’m not ashamed of it but I’m not ready to take it to Willingden yet. We still have to tell your family.”<br/>
“I think everyone besides Tom has pretty much worked it out,” Sidney smiled.<br/>
“Toms not really with it is he,” Charlotte giggled.<br/>
“Well, as long as you don’t run away from me again, I’ll wait however long you want to take me to meet your parents,” Sidney said kissing her on her cheek. </p><p>Sidney rested his head on Charlotte shoulder and she thought of her parents. The boys she had taken home to meet before had all been boys from her village. Many her father disliked and others her mother was desperate for her to marry- more so she wouldn’t lose Charlotte as opposed to them actually being a catch. Connor was the only boy who everyone seemed to like- until he cheated on her and the entire community screamed at him for her. That was the thing about the people in Willingden, they always fought all of Charlottes battles for her. </p><p>“I think that’s why I run away,” Charlotte said suddenly, playing with Sidneys fingers in her lap.<br/>
“Run away?” Sidney asked in confusion.<br/>
“In all my relationships- friends, boyfriends. Everyone in the village would just deal with it. Dad would tell me to go to my room and he’ll talk to them. Or Al at the shop would tell me to go home and he’d speak with them. I’ve always walked away from everything besides... besides my job, because I know someone else is going to fix it,” Charlotte said, staring down at her lap. “My last relationship just really scarred me you know.”<br/>
“I know,” Sidney said, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb.<br/>
“Everyone thought he was this great guy and I really tried to make it work. Even with all the cheating and the lies. I couldn’t talk to anyone because I know that the people back home would just attack him for it and I didn’t want that. I ran away so many times from him- iI just got up and left for a few days, come back and act like nothing happened... until it happened again,” Charlotte signed, “but I didn’t mind the cycle because I didn’t even like him in the end. It didn’t hurt every time he left. It hurt that I let him do it to me over and over again.”<br/>
“Charlotte were not that relationship,” Sidney said, placing his finger under her chin and turning her head to look at him.<br/>
“I know that,” Charlotte smiled weakly, “I wouldn’t have cared with Connor. My liver probably would have also been a lot less full of alcohol if I’d of been with him. I could think logically with him. I don’t seem to be able to with you.”<br/>
“Isn’t that a bad thing?” Sidney said, smiling slightly as he raised his eyebrow.<br/>
“No,” Charlotte said, biting her lip, “I think it just means that your face is very distracting.”<br/>
“Oh is it?” Sidney smirked, moving his face forward and kissing her.<br/>
“Mmm,” Charlotte murmured into his lips.</p><p>And that night, Sidney showed Charlotte once again, just how distracting he could be and how illogically he could make her think.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title:<br/>Troye Sivan- Lucky Strike</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Somewhere Only We Know</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was Tuesday morning and Charlotte was sucking on a cherry cola lollipop as she walked around Al’s grocery store, shopping basket in hand an an earphone in her ear. </p><p>The weather was nice enough for Charlotte to walk down to the shop from the farm (about fifteen minutes) and Charlotte happily volunteered to go get some bread in an attempt to occupy her mind with something other than the races. </p><p>Today was day one of the practice rounds and as Charlotte checked her watch, she knew now would be the time the team would be pulling in to start their day. The practice days were always Charlotte favourite. The adrenaline of passing all the tests and letting the car really test out the race course. She was sad to be missing it. </p><p>Tapping her fingers on the cereal boxes, Charlotte lingered in the store for far longer than she needed. Her basket was full of all sorts of junk food- popcorn, crisps, chocolate and sweets, but Charlotte was in dire need of something comforting and her craving for sweet treats seemed to be at an all time high. </p><p>“Charlotte if you keep staring at those cereal boxes like that, they might grow legs and run off,” Al laughed from behind the counter. </p><p>Charlotte looked up at him and smiled. Al had know Charlotte since she had been born. He was a 72 years old and had run the grocery shop since Charlotte was five- selling his farm so he could do something that was slightly less demanding. </p><p>“I better get going,” Charlotte said. </p><p>Walking over to the till, Charlotte put down the basket and add a couple of extra bars of chocolate as Al began to scan the items. Al looked at her and laughed. Charlotte had alway come into his shop and left with a bag full of chocolate or sweets- Al often dropping in a few additional treats himself as he knew she enjoyed them.</p><p>“You need to find yourself a nice boy Charlotte,” Al said.<br/>Charlotte looked up at him, “and why must I find a nice boy?” <br/>“You just look so lonely here. And with everyone else around here moving forward with their lives, I wouldn’t want you to be left behind,” Al said. <br/>“I am moving forward with my life. I have a great job. I live in a great place. I like what I do. I’m happy,” Charlotte said.<br/>“Yes but isn’t it every woman’s goal to get married and start a family? Isn’t that what really makes a woman happy?” Al asked.<br/>“Al, I do love you but I’m going to suggest you leave the misogyny in your mind,” Charlotte said with a tight smile, “I do not need a man or a family to make me happy. But if you must know Al- and I ask that you don’t say anything until I’ve spoken with my own parents first, there is-“<br/>“Lottie?” A voice called, the ringing of the door bell above the shop door flooding the room. <br/>Charlotte turned her head to look at the entrance and took a big gulp as she saw the familiar face, “Connor,” Charlotte almost whispered.</p><p>Charlotte froze as he approached her and wrapped his arms around her waist- picking her up into a bear hug. Al watched in confusion- unsure of whether he should jump in to protect Charlotte or let her deal with this by herself. </p><p>“You okay Charlotte?” Al asked, once she was firmly back on the ground.<br/>“I’m fine Al,” Charlotte said, handing him the money for her shopping, “thank you.”<br/>“This is mad Lottie,” Connor said, beaming from ear to ear, “I have so much to tell you. Are you free for a catch up?” </p><p>Charlotte looked at him hesitantly. Checking her watch as she took the shopping bag from Al, Charlotte mentally noted that now would be the moment the team would probably begin getting the new driver into the car to see if they found it comfortable- adjusting anything minor to his height or personal preference. She knew she needed the distraction and maybe Connor would be the perfect excuse. </p><p>“I could probably spare ten minutes,” Charlotte sighed.<br/>“You sure Charlotte?” Al chimed in.<br/>“I’m fine Al,” Charlotte smiled, “Connor get us some drinks from the coffee shop across the road and I’ll meet you on the bench on the green okay.”</p><p>Charlotte didn’t wait for any response as she walked out the door- the bell ringing as she exited the shop. Looking around, Charlotte breathed in the fresh air and began to walk slowly towards the green. She watched the tiny children running around- jumping over low fences and rolling in the grass. A small knot in Charlottes stomach formed as she watched them laugh with their parents not too far away. Charlotte stomped the feeling away as quickly as she could. </p><p>Taking a seat on the wooden bench on the green, Charlotte settled her blue shopping bag beside her and looked around the village. She had changed so much in the past twenty five years of her life, yet Willingden seemed to remain the same. The same flowers grew out of the ground. The same bricks laid the foundations for the buildings. The same values were visible around the town. And as everything echoed the same comforts Charlotte had grown to find as comforting as fire on a cold night, she knew that she had outgrown Willingden and all its charms. </p><p>“Here you go Lottie,” Connor said, drawing Charlotte out of her thoughts, “black with no sugars right?”<br/>“Perfect,” Charlotte said. </p><p>Taking the coffee cup from Connors hands, Charlotte watched as he sat on the other side of the bench. The two had once been so close- always the best of friends and the boy Charlotte had alway had a crush on at school. He had caught Charlotte eyes in a romantic sense when she was fifteen. The two of them caught onto something quickly and everything fell into a natural phase of their life. Their relationship broke down quickly and they rarely ever spoke near the end and Charlotte barely felt welcome in his life anymore. Their arguments were strong and loud. They often said things so honest that they’d run and hide from another- not willing to give into anything. </p><p>Now they felt like two strangers meeting before parting again as they sipped on their coffees. </p><p>Charlotte pulled out the bag of sweets from her bag- suddenly feeling a craving for something sweet. She threw a fried egg into her mouth as she held out the packet to offer one to Connor (who refused). </p><p>“So how are you Charlotte?” Connor asked, leaning his elbows on the back of the bench as he looked out at the green land in front of them.<br/>“I’m fine,” Charlotte said, chewing on another sweet.<br/>“I know we didn’t leave on the best of terms last time,” Connor began to speak awkwardly. <br/>“Why?” Charlotte said, turning to look at him with a smile on her face, “because I found you kissing someone else in your bed when I came back to town to surprise you or because my dad screamed at you afterward I went home and cried my eyes out?”<br/>“Your dad is pretty scary,” Connor said quietly, scratching his head, “I am truly sorry for it.”<br/>“Water under the bridge now Connor,” Charlotte said, shrugging her shoulders. <br/>“You can hit me or shout at me or tell me I’m a bad person if it make you feel any better,” Connor said. <br/>“I’m fine Connor, truly,” Charlotte smiled, “I had a million thrown out speeches I almost said to you- until I realised, we were just kids. We were always better friends.”</p><p>Smiling softly, Charlotte turned and looked at the little girl running across the green with a white bunny in her hands. Her mother followed her as the young girl began to climb onto the trunk of a fallen tree that had been there for years. </p><p>“Do you remember the tree over there? The fallen one,” Connor said. <br/>“How can I forget? Even now I feel like the branches are judging me,” Charlotte laughed. <br/>“You and I had our first kiss there,” Connor said, “I don’t think I was particularly good at it then.”<br/>“Definitely improved with age,” Charlotte teased. <br/>“How are you Charlotte? Like really,” Connor said.<br/>“I’m fine,” Charlotte smiled.<br/>“Fine isn’t really a feeling is it Charlotte,” Connor said.<br/>“Fine is a feeling. People say fine all the time,” Charlotte said.<br/>“I’ve known you since we were in primary school Charlotte. I know you a little better than that,” Connor said, “what’s up?”<br/>“It’s just being home,” Charlotte sighed, “I’m getting old and... I come back to Willingden and sometimes I think I could hid in my parents house forever and then... there’s times where I think I’d go back to Sanditon and just... build something that will last. Something that’s mine. Silence those voices that still haunt me.”<br/>“People still giving my favourite female engineer a hard time?” Connor smiled. <br/>“Something like that,” Charlotte said. </p><p>The two of them settled into a comfortable silence. They watched all the people they had grown up with pass them by- some old and moving into retirement, others their age and settling into a family life. </p><p>Things had certainly changed over the past few years and Charlotte felt like she was personally a lot further behind everyone else around her. She wasn’t entirely sure what the goal posts was, or whose goal post she was measuring herself against, but it still made Charlotte feel uneasy. </p><p>“I’m having a baby,” Connor blurted out suddenly. <br/>“What?” Charlotte turned and looked at him, “Oh wow... umm.... congratulations.”</p><p>Leaning against the back of the bench, Charlotte sat and stared at Connor- who was struggling to read her face. Her mind was plagued by thoughts and just general shock- he clearly hadn’t wasted much time since moving on from her. </p><p>“Okay,” Charlotte whispered, “I’m genuinely so happy for you.” <br/>“I thought at one point that it would be you and me... having the baby,” Connor said. <br/>“You and I would have been awful parents,” Charlotte smiled softly. <br/>“I think you’d of been okay,” Connor argued. <br/>Charlotte looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “we hated each other. We were two kids who had no business being together. I ran away all the time. Could you imagine if I did that with a baby involved?”<br/>“We’d of managed,” Connor said. <br/>“We’d of killed each other,” Charlotte smiled. <br/>“Well considering you alway said you didn’t want children, you’d of probably tried to kill me for getting you pregnant,” Connor laughed. He looked over at Charlotte and smiled, “You’d be a great mother Charlotte. Really.” </p><p>Smiling sadly at him, Charlotte exhaled and looked down at her lap. Her fingers played with the few sweets left in the packet and her other hand gripped around the now cold coffee cup. Charlotte was very happy for him- even if a small part of her was sad that yet another person was moving forward with their life (and leaving her behind).</p><p>“I thought I was pregnant,” Charlotte said quietly. <br/>“What?” Connor said, a little taken back. <br/>“Last week. I thought I was pregnant,” Charlotte clarified.<br/>“Thought?”<br/>“I’m not. Just excessive drinking,” Charlotte said. <br/>“I don’t mean to make this awkward but Charlotte weren’t you always... very... careful,” Connor stuttered uncomfortably. <br/>Charlotte laughed, “I was and I am. That’s why I was adamant I wouldn’t take a test but I was in the hospital and just thought... why not.”<br/>“Must of been a relief,” Connor said. <br/>“Relief?” Charlotte asked. <br/>“Lottie, you always said you never wanted,” Connor said, looking at her curiously, “unless you’ve changed your mind?”<br/>“Umm,” Charlotte said, “when I initially thought about it- that I could have been pregnant, I panicked. I thought about my job. How far back a baby would put me. The way I would manage- a child, a career, the need to have maybe a bigger house. What my parents would say. What everyone around here would say actually.”<br/>“Charlotte a child is a lot more than the things you have,” Connor said lowly, watching her very carefully. <br/>“When I got home and just thought of the baby. Nothing else. Just me, Sidney and a baby,” Charlotte said, shuffling uncomfortably in her seat, “I put my roast chicken in the oven and just sat and cried for a loss I never had and never really knew I wanted.”<br/>“Oh Lottie,” connor said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, “you can always try for one you know.”<br/>“I know,” Charlotte said smiling, “and I would like to maybe one day down the line- perhaps when things are a little more settled in my life and I’m not having work issues, or personal crisis and a bit more settled. Also, I might have to speak to my boyfriend first.” <br/>“Sidney?” Connor asked, looking happily at Charlotte. <br/>“Yes. Sidney,” Charlotte smiled, “and I’m incredibly happy with him.”<br/>“I heard a rumour,” Connor said.<br/>“How? I haven’t even told my parents,” Charlotte said.<br/>“Haven’t you learnt by now Lottie that you don’t actually need to tell people stuff in this place- they just always know anyway,” Connor laughed.</p><p>Shuffling in his seat, Connor looked at Charlotte. They had always been friends first and to just talk to her like a friend was something he liked very much- missing it over the past few years when their relationship turned sour. They had alway worked better as friends anyways. </p><p>Charlotte sat there, wind blowing through her hair, feeling a lot lighter. She hadn’t told Sidney about the baby scare. She was going to but after his excitement about his divorce, she didn’t want to ruin his mood. Then he came home from the hospital on Saturday feeling even more down and Charlotte didn’t want to worry him about it yet. </p><p>It was nice to talk to someone else about it. Charlotte hadn’t quite realised just how much it was on her mind until now. </p><p>“How come Sidney didn’t come with you?” Connor asked, curiously. <br/>“He works for the formula one team I work for,” Charlotte said, “they’re doing the practice rounds today for the race on Saturday.” <br/>“I thought you were hiding him for a second. Perhaps he was a spy with a whole secret life,” Connor joked, but sat up seriously when he saw the serious look on her face, “does he have a secret life?” <br/>“No,” Charlotte smiled softly, “you can’t tell anyone if I tell you.”<br/>“Scouts promise,” Connor said.<br/>“You were never a scout,” Charlotte giggled. <br/>“I slept out in the woods once, so it’s close enough,” Connor joked, “what have you got yourself wrapped up in Lottie?”<br/>“He’s got a wife,” Charlotte said quietly.<br/>“Lottie,” Connor said louder than he intended.<br/>“Shh,” Charlotte said, hitting him gently on his knee, “he’s not with her. They’re getting a divorce- have been for well over a year.” <br/>“I see,” Connor smiled, “let the divorce happen and then bring him home. Otherwise Al might have a heart attack.” <br/>“I know,” Charlotte said.<br/>“Why don’t you seem happy about the divorce Charlotte?” Connor asked.<br/>“I am happy,” Charlotte said adamantly. <br/>“Tell your face that,” Connor laughed.<br/>“The judge has approved it but his ex wife can be... quite... challenging I guess is the only appropriate word I can think of,” Charlotte said, “I’m kind of just waiting for her to throw some other curveball into the mix.” <br/>“You can’t live your life waiting for things to go wrong,” <br/>“Why? It worked so well when I was with you,” Charlotte laughed.<br/>“That was different,” Connor sighed. <br/>“I’ll be okay once it’s 100% finalised,” Charlotte said, “I’m content until then though. I love him.”</p><p>The sound of her vibrating phone drew both of their attentions to the buzzing tech in her pocket. Charlotte pulled it out and simply couldn’t hide her beaming smile as she saw Sidneys name flash on her phone. They had spoken just yesterday when she arrived but he’d been too busy to speak since yesterday morning.</p><p>“It’s him?” Connor said, noticing Charlottes shift in mood. <br/>“Yeah,” Charlotte smiled.<br/>“It was nice to see you Lottie,” Connor said, standing up and pecking Charlotte on her head, “I’d offer to make you my child’s godmother but that might be a bit weird considering I slept with you.” <br/>“Very generous offer but I think I’ll pass if you tell the kid like that- oh hey kid, this is Lottie, your godmother, I banged her for like five years,” Charlotte laughed. <br/>Connor chuckled as he slid on his jacket, “Answer the phone Lottie and I’ll catch you later. Take care.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title:<br/>Keane- Somewhere Only We Know</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Für Elise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Babington,” Sidney exhaled in relief.<br/>“Sidney my boy!” Babington said in excitement as he walked into the make shift office. </p><p>At silverstone, the team had been given a garage and room to prepare for the next few days. Until race day, Sidney had decided (against most of Tom’s wishes) to turn the space into a temporary office space as the board was still sniffing around for something and Sidney wanted to be on top of everything in his power. </p><p>Standing up, Sidney walked around the desk to give Babington big hug. It was the welcome relief Sidney needed from his stressful day. </p><p>“That’s a lot of paperwork Sid,” Babington said looking at the pile of papers on Sidneys desk.<br/>“I have a nightmare driver and an engineer who won’t put him in his place,” Sidney sighed.<br/>“I thought you said Charlotte could handle her own- though maybe that’s what Crowe said,” Babington said, dropping into his an arm chair. <br/>“Charlotte’s still on her suspension, so Leroy is incharge but Leroy isn’t doing things right,” Sidney said, raising his voice as he formed each word.<br/>“He isn’t doing things right or he isn’t doing things like Charlotte did them?” Babington smirked. </p><p>Sidney looked at Babington and then let out a frustrated scream. Sinking down into his seat, Sidney sighed loudly and rubbed the side of his temples.  </p><p>Charlotte and Sidney tried to speak every day- phoning each other whenever they could but sometimes, Sidneys day was just too hectic and when he did ring her, Charlotte had already fallen asleep. The problem for Sidney was, that after their conversations, he just missed Charlotte more. On many occasions he had wanted to get into his car and drive to Willingden. It was only a couple of hours from London and a few hours from silverstone. However, by the time Sidney finished on the track or in the office in London, it was too late at night to go. It was one thing to turn up on her doorstep at midnight. It was entirely different to turn up at her fathers home at midnight. Sidney also still realised there was some resistance on Charlotte’s side for him to meet her family just yet. He didn’t blame her- they loved each other deeply but their relationship had hardly been stable the past few months. Though, he did want to meet her family, just like she had met his. </p><p>“They don’t do things like Charlotte did things Babington and it’s not working,” Sidney sighed. <br/>“What’s the problem?” Babington asked.<br/>“What isn’t the problem?” Sidney scoffed, “My engineers are slacking on getting the car up to speed in time. I have Leroy unable to make the men work as hard as they need to work. I have drivers thinking they know more than the engineers. I have the new driver who wants us to practically make a new car. On top of all the track problems, I have a board breathing down my neck- refusing to pay for any of the things we have here now, and I have Tom swanning around doing god knows what,” Sidney spoke quickly and then exhaled, “And... and I just really miss telling Charlotte all this to her face at nighttime.” <br/>“I don’t need the details,” Babington said. <br/>“I wasn’t going to give them,” Sidney said, letting out a half laugh for the first time that day.<br/>“And how is Charlotte?” Babington smiled. <br/>“Frustrated she’s not working but other than that I think she’s fine. She sounds happier in Willingden now than she did a few days ago,” Sidney said. <br/>“Well, I’m very happy for you my dear friend. I’ve not seen you this happy in years,” Babington said. <br/>“I’m in love... true love,” Sidney said, beaming from side to side. <br/>“How do you know?” <br/>“I just... with Charlotte I’ve let go of some of my fears and ghosts. Sometimes it’s just one step, but it says enough for her to know I’m here and for me to know she is too. She’s my best friend,” Sidney said, smiling at himself as he thought about Charlotte, “Its a bit like that snow globe your father gave us that one Christmas he forgot to buy things and it was all that was left in Harrods- do you rememberer?”<br/>“How could I forget the snow globe with the happy couple dancing around to Fur Elise whilst we missed out on the transformers toys and thunderbirds,” Babington said, rolling his eyes. <br/>“Charlotte and I are like that. Everyone else could be watching but we’ve become these two people oblivious to the world. It’s just the two of us dancing in a snow globe round and round and as the snow settles around us and we’ve weathered the madness of the storm,” Sidney smiled, shaking his head, “and there I go again speaking in a different language. In short, I just know Babington. It all feels very different to anything I’ve experienced before. I’m led by blind faith and usually you might get lost but I think we might just get away with it you know.” <br/>“I’ll have to find out for myself,” Babington said, smiling coyly. <br/>“Before I forget Babington, I must thank you for letting me stay at your penthouse by the way. Much easier than having to travel back to London or a hotel room,” Sidney said. <br/>“No problem,” Babington said, “I’m driving back to London tonight anyway and won’t be back until the races on Saturday.”<br/>“Driving back?” Sidney asked curiously. <br/>“Miss Denham,” Babington said, as if just her name was an answer.<br/>“Esther Denham? One of our shareholders?” Sidney said, “are you two a?”<br/>“It’s still pretty new but I liked her at the gala and last month I ran into her in London and we just... got on I suppose,” Babington said happily. <br/>“Congratulations Babington,” Sidney said, “I’m sure she didn’t make it easy for you.”<br/>“Oh the good ones never do Sidney,” Babington winked. </p><p>Sidney laughed for himself and looked out of the window at the track beside him. Him and Charlotte certainly isn’t have it easy- a lot of it because of him and a fair bit because of their unconventional beginning. </p><p>Life had felt like a rat race for a number of years for Sidney. He didn’t mind it at first- going so fast that he won most things, however the problem was, he was still a rat. He was never the master of his own fate. The past four months changed the way Sidney saw his life. At first it was fun. A thrill. Something to excite him from the mundane routine of his life. Then he got feelings and things felt real for the first time. Now, now he was looking for a future. He wanted to have routes and settle down with Charlotte. </p><p>Problem was, Sidney didn’t know if she felt the same- especially since Charlotte really valued her job and her independence. He had seen one other female engineer whilst he worked the circuits and when she did decide to settle down, the men were far from kind (commenting when she didn’t look after her husband or child and commenting when she did). Sidney didn’t want that for Charlotte. </p><p>“So this divorce Sidney. How is it moving so fast all of a sudden?” Babington asked, picking up a sweet from the pot on the desk and throwing it into his mouth.<br/>“Susan changed the plea from adulatory to unreasonable behaviour- as Eliza had been holding out from a divorce so long without even being willing to reasonably mediate, the judge finally approved it,” Sidney said with a smile on his face, “Much easier to show she’s insane than the fact she was cheating on me it turns out,” Sidney joked. <br/>“Who cares how as long it’s finally sorted. How long until the shackles officially come off?” Babington asked. <br/>“Six weeks,” Sidney said quickly. <br/>“And how does Charlotte feel about all this?” Babington asked. <br/>“We haven’t really discussed it,” Sidney said, rubbing his beard, “she seemed relieved.”<br/>“How have you not discussed this? It was like a huge knife hanging over your relationship,” Babington said in confusion. <br/>“Umm,” Sidney struggled to find the appropriate words, “like most things with us... we...umm.... got...umm... sidetracked.”<br/>Babington started shaking his head furiously from side to side, “Nope. Don’t want to hear any more. Forget I asked.” </p><p>Sidney laughed to himself as he watched Babington straighten himself up in his seat.  The suddenly filled with a familiar sadness that often came when Babington gave Sidney the look that was on his face now. A look of sympathy. A look like Sidney was carrying the world on his shoulder and needed help to ease the weight.</p><p>“How’s Crowe? I went to visit him yesterday but he didn’t really say much to me,” Babington smiled sadly, “didn’t even offer me a whiskey which was very unlike him.”<br/>Sidney chuckled sadly, “Charlotte saw him today. She said he seemed better and the nurses were hopeful but you just never know do you,” Sidney sighed.<br/>“You doing okay Sidney?” Babington asked carefully, trying to get a read on him.<br/>“Do you mean am I spiralling out of control yet?” Sidney said. For a moment he considered lying to Babington- hiding his true feeling like he did some times with Charlotte (afraid to burden them with his darkened heart) but he realised there was no point. Babington knew how to read Sidney pretty well. “I’m okay but I’m... at 2 o’clock it hits me. It’s harder now I’m alone but I’m trying to just push it all down.”<br/>“Pushing it down isn’t good Sidney,” Babington said, his eyebrows crinkling in worry. <br/>“I’m trying Babington. I’m afraid to lose grip on another ship but this week has felt like the worst drought of my life. I stay busy to avoid the pain of not having Crowe in my ear or the memory of my father haunting me.  But in the moments I stop and breath, it’s always the two of them who sit down with me ,” Sidney said, his voice trembling slightly as he spoke, “Every time I look at a car out there, I think of Crowe. His body being pulled out- in a coma on that bed. Then like a film being put back in the player, I see my dad. I see the flash of light as they both zip past me and then I hear it first. The crash. I picture them both so much that they’ve become a bit too heavy for me to carry...but still I let them in. I let them seep into my bones like lead weights and sleep on me like newborn baby’s in need of warmth.”<br/>“Sidney your not alone,” Babington said, “I’m here for you. You just need to ask for help.”<br/>“That’s the thing Babington, sometimes I’m screaming for help but the water fills my lungs so much so that it’s just a muffle,” Sidney said, “I’ll be okay. I just need to learn  to cope around all these fast cars and it’s a lot harder without Charlotte here, than I thought. But I can’t depend on her like an emotional crutch.”<br/>“Sidney, help isn’t an emotional crutch,” Babington said. <br/>“I know that. And I will ask if I need it Babington- I promise. But right now, I just need to learn to breathe for myself,” Sidney sighed. </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>Sidney rubbed his temples as Leroy explained the latest problem with the 66. It was the day before the race and Sidney was really not in the mood for this. Not only had he not had the time to speak with Charlotte this morning, but he had to put up with Tom’s sudden appearance with potential investors. Between having to put on the charm ad manage a whole team who seemed to be losing their minds, Sidney was turkey ready to crawl into a bed and not move until it was all over.</p><p>Once again, their new driver was refusing to cooperate. He had been complaining day after day and the team had blown through their money to try and adjust to his needs. The drivers erratic behaviour and frustrating accusations, caused Leroy (with Tom’s permission) to replace parts of the drive axles, the suspension components, the wheels, the wings, the engine and the engine components (practically a whole car). </p><p>Leroy had now gone to Sidney after the driver demanded they repacked the monocoque- the drivers seat. Sidney tapped his foot impatiently as Leroy told him of the drivers complaint. How the driver was complaint of an ill-defined problem he was feeling and insisting the chair was causing him to have driving issues (even though no one could find a single fault with it. </p><p>Sidney argued with Leroy as he insisted the chair needed to be changed for the driver. The chair hardly ever got changed in a car- it was an unbelievably strong piece of carbon fiber. It’s incredibly complex shape made it incredibly strong and incredibly stiff- and incredibly resistant to crash damage. Sidney rolled his eyes as he knew it was also incredibly expensive (and a highly unnecessary cost- a cost they could not afford). </p><p>“Leroy, tell him to get back in the car and stop messing about. We’re not changing the monocoque- there’s nothing wrong with it,” Sidney sighed in frustration. <br/>“Sidney he’s refusing to listen,” Leroy said.<br/>“If he doesn’t get in the car within the next few hours we won’t be able to qualify. Leroy you need to do your job and get him the dam car,” Sidney said angrily. <br/>“Sidney he won’t listen. He wants use to change the monocoque. And once we’ve done that he’ll find some way to pick the car apart all over again but I don’t think we have much of a choice,” Leroy said as calmly as he could. <br/>“Get rid of him then,” Sidney exhaled with irritation, “actually where is he? I’ll do it myself.” <br/>“Sidney, its all well that you tell him to bugger off but who’s driving the car tomorrow if you do? We have no other qualified drivers here with the correct paperwork,” Leroy said, trying to be rational, “if we don’t fill that seat then we’ll be disqualified.” </p><p>Sidney stopped tapping his foot as he looked around the race course. The sun was setting and as it did, time moved faster. Sidney scratched his beard as he thought. They needed a driver and they needed to drive tomorrow. They could afford a new driver at this short notice and they certainly couldn’t afford to lose the money from tomorrow’s race. Watching a lone car zip around the track, Sidney had a sudden epiphany. </p><p>“I’ll do it,” Sidney said.<br/>“What?” Leroy said.<br/>“I’ll do it. I’m qualified. I’ve always been checked just in case. I’ll drive it,” Sidney said, in a matter-of-fact tone.<br/>“Sidney I don’t think that’s a good idea. With Crowe being your best friend and your history in the car, I don’t think competing at this level is a good idea,” Leroy said, trying to remain calm but pancaking. <br/>“Leroy,” Sidney said, grabbing hold of both sides of his shoulders and looking him dead in the eyes, “I’m driving tomorrow. Make the adjustments.” <br/>“Sidney-“<br/>“Do it Leroy,” Sidney said as he began to walk away, “and don’t you dare tell Arthur or Tom about it either- they’ll try and talk me out of it.” <br/>“It wasn’t your brothers I’d ring first,” Leroy sighed, rubbing his forehead in frustration.<br/>Sidney stopped and turned on his heels as Leroy’s words rung in his ears, “Don’t tell her either,” Sidney sighed, resting his hand on his hip, “she’ll rush down here and try and fix that car when she can’t touch it. Well tell her after the race is done.” <br/>“Sidney-“<br/>“After the race Leroy!” Sidney shouted as he walked away. </p><p>Sidney stuffed his pockets in his hand as he walked over to the admissions office to sort out the paperwork for his race tomorrow. </p><p>His race. </p><p>Sidney knew he should of told his family about the last minute switch. Perhaps Tom would have been too in his own world to car. Perhaps Arthur wouldn’t have called him an idiot. Sidney knew he should have called Charlotte and told her about the race. Perhaps she wouldn’t have shouted at him, or reminded him of Crowe, his own accident at his last competitive race or the fact that the car had not been engineered by the hands of the best person on the team. </p><p>None of those things seemed to matter to him in that moment though because as he watched the sunlight touch the plane, Sidney could only see his father smiling at him as the thought of the speed came rushing into his like a crashing wave. </p><p>So Sidney was determined he would race.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks everyone for the lovely comments! </p><p>I feel like I should apologise for no Sidlotte baby- it’s just a timing thing for me. Sorry. </p><p>Title:<br/>Beethoven- Für Elise</p>
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<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Off To The Races</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Walking down the track, Sidney had his black helmet under his arm as he fixed the protective layer of clothing around his neck. He hadn’t even got into the cockpit yet, but Sidney was already feeling the firey heat that came from being in the drivers seat. </p><p>The breath in his throat caught as he went through the track statistics in his head. He had spent most of the evening, trying to memorise the track- every turn, every corner and every line. He looked at training footage to try and see if he could pick up on the moments where he could pick up extra seconds during the race. </p><p>With the short notice, Sidney had only managed a few laps around the track in the 66 last night and during the small window of opportunity this morning. The car was driving far better than Sidney had anticipated but he wasn’t surprised- Leroy had years of experience (knowing Sidney and the race tracks, since Sidney was a little boy) and he didn’t mess around when it came to the making of the cars. Of course Sidney would have been happier with Charlotte behind the mechanics of the wheels but he trusted the men. He’d handpicked almost each and every single one of them. </p><p>With the addition of time constraints and with such heavily limited and controlled conditions during testing, Sidney did manage a few hours of open track time on the karting track- an easily accessible way to hone in his previous racing skills and a perfect way for Sidney to retrain his reactions so he was alert enough for the race. </p><p>He had to admit his racing skills weren’t as sharp as they once were. He often became clouded by his thoughts- flashes of his father, friends or Crowe in his mind to distract him from the race, but as Sidney trained more and pushed himself harder, he found he could force himself to push it away. He could become robotic if he tried hard enough.</p><p>When Sidney used to be in the races, a lot of people thought that all the drivers need to do is sit in the car, put the throttle down and drive- the fastest car winning. But it wasn’t that simple. </p><p>To be good at formula one, you had to start with just being average. And even that wasn’t good enough sometimes. </p><p>From his father, Sidney learnt the importance of knowing your vehicle. It was okay to be dependent on the team when you were practicing or designing the car- they were there for that very reason, but his father always told him that when he was in the car- radio or not, it was the drivers job to know the car inside and out. Sidney spent hours learning the cars as a child- the mechanics, the choice in bolts, the type of carbon marker also used. His dad only let him get in a car with him at 7, once Sidney would correctly identify most of the cars parts. Being a driver was far more than just driving fast. </p><p>One of the biggest things for a driver was to have mental clarity. </p><p>Sidney knew the importance of a sharp mind during a race. This was one of the reasons he had decided to not tell Tom, Arthur or Charlotte about him beginning in the race. He did not have the mental space to take their feelings into consideration. He didn’t have the time to process their opinions or argue with them about his decision. He needed to keep his brain running until the last straight. He couldn’t lose concentration. He needed to talk to the team on the radio. He needed to reserve for his brain for the race in order to cope. </p><p>The pit of Sidney’s stomach was tight as the adrenaline of the race built up. He had forgotten how it felt to be filled with so much excitement, fear and anticipation all at once. </p><p>“Mr Parker,” Leroy said, looking up from his notepad. <br/>“How’s she doing this morning Leroy?” Sidney asked, slipping on his driving gloves.<br/>“She’s beaut Sidney,” Leroy smiled, “she’s ready to roar.”<br/>“Everything in check?” Sidney asked, holding in his breath.<br/>“I wouldn’t let you in if I thought it wasn’t,” Leroy said softly. </p><p>Sidney slid on his helmet and with a slightly shaking hand he jumped into the car as the crew gathered around him. He sat back as two of the crew helped strap him his seat belt. They had run a check last night and this morning to make sure that, in case of an emergency, Sidney would be able to get out within the required five seconds (which he could). Just about hearing the click of the leg strap, Sidney placed his shaking hand onto the steering wheel and as he gripped it, his brain switched and kicked into gear. </p><p>His hand stopped shaking. The noise around him seemed to diminish and his nerves in his stomach settled. </p><p>“Can you hear me Sidney?” Leroy said into the microphone as he looked at checking all the functions in the cockpit.<br/>“Can you hear me Leroy?” Sidney smiled. <br/>“It’s all you now. We’ll be here to help when we can,” Leroy said, “your tires are good so I don’t think you’ll need a pit stop any time soon. Just drive safe.” <br/>“Yes boss,” Sidney said.<br/>“That’s you my boy,” Leroy laughed.<br/>“I’d of said it to Charlotte, so I’ll say it to you,” Sidney said, “see you in a bit Leroy.”</p><p>Sidney clicked the car into gear and began to pull it out of the pit, adjusting himself to the feel of the car. As she started, he said a quick prayer and thought of his father. This would be the only time he gave his fathers thought during the race, if Sidney could help it. Breathing heavily from adrenaline, Sidney thought of how proud his father would be of him- and even his siblings. The Parker family car driving in the big races with a Parker driver. Sidney hoped he’d be watching. </p><p>Watching Sidney begin his drive, Leroy watched him carefully, sure he had forgotten something. Mentally he went through the whole car quickly- wondering what it was that he had mentally noted to mention to side. It wasn’t the breaks, the tyres or the gears. The seat was fine, the length had been adjusted, the straps had all been tested multiple times. </p><p>As the 66 moved closer to the start Leroy suddenly remembered- the words Mr Parker Senior had always said to his children when they would go off to do something and something Leroy had said to Sidney before every race or test run Sidney had ever done. </p><p>“Oh and Sidney,” Leroy said into Sidneys ear as he pulled up to his starting position, “you freaking got this kid.”</p><p>Tightening his hand around the steering wheel Sidney grinned uncontrollably.</p><p>Ready.</p><p>Set.</p><p>Go.</p><p>***</p><p>Walking into the pit, Arthur smiled happily at everyone he passed. He had missed the first few minutes of the race but upon entering the race track, Arthur had heard the traffic light siren and the roaring rip of the cars as the crowd cheered them all on. </p><p> </p><p>“Hello everyone! Pleasure to see you all,” Arthur said joyfully as he reached Leroy and the lead mechanics. </p><p>Watching the race on the screen, Arthur nibbled on one of the biscuits from the packet as he thought- he had no idea what was happening but he liked seeing the 66 near the front of the pack. </p><p>“Your driver is really rather good isn’t he,” Arthur smiled. <br/>“Yep,” Leroy said, checking on a piece of paper that was just being faxed through. <br/>“Sidney was so worried about him on the phone Thursday. Obviously he had nothing to be worried about,” Arthur beamed, picking up another biscuit. </p><p>Looking around the room, Arthur tapped his fingers on his hips as he tried to find his brother. </p><p>When Arthur had called Sidney on Thursday for a quick catch up, he quickly changed his plans. Arthur had no intention of coming to the races. He usually didn’t and was only coming this time initially because Charlotte was going to be here. Now that she wasn’t, and Arthur didn’t really know much about the sport, he had decided against it. That was until Sidney spent half an hour ranting on the phone about a crazy driver, frustrating board members and some car problems Arthur had no idea about. </p><p>It was enough for Arthur to know he needed to be here for Sidney today. </p><p>“Where’s Sidney?” Arthur asked looking around, “Leroy have you seen him?”</p><p>Scanning the room twice, Arthur looked carefully at Leroy when he noticed he hadn’t spoken. Leroy’s eyes stayed firmly on his keyboard as his pen tapped against his thigh. The edgeness with which Leroy acted, automatically put Arthur on edge.</p><p>“Leroy, where is he?” Arthur asked more sternly.<br/>“In the car,” Leroy said quietly. <br/>“As in, his voice is in the drivers ears and that’s why he isn’t here?” Arthur said, “because that’s the only way he should be in a car.”<br/>“He’s driving the car Arthur,” Leroy said awkwardly.<br/>“Leroy!” Arthur shouted, “give me the dam head seat now.” <br/>“I can’t do that,” Leroy said, stepping back as Arthur tried to reach for it. <br/>“Now Leroy,” Arthur said sternly.<br/>“No sir. He’s driving the car and he needs his head in the game for the next two hours. You can sit here and watch but unless you have something useful to say, then do not say anything at all,” Leroy said firmly. </p><p>Arthur gritted his teeth and looked at the monitors. He watched Sidney zip around the race track lap after lap- his voice echoing a cool collectedness through the loud head set. </p><p>As the 66 kept moving, Arthur felt a certain sadness weigh in his heart. </p><p>“Charlotte should be here. Why isn’t she?” Arthur said.<br/>“Boss said not to tell her,” Leroy said.<br/>“If Sidney was driving that car then Charlotte should have been the sign off on those papers,” Arthur said adamantly. <br/>Dropping his pen, Leroy looked at Arthur, “I have been here since day one of this company. I apprenticed under your father. I have years of experience and I did this job here long before Charlotte was here. I miss her too and I know we’d be in a stronger position with her here but she isn’t. For just five minutes I would like one person to not doubt me so much just because I’m not her.” </p><p>Arthur froze in his spot for a second. He suddenly felt awful for overlooking Leroy- who had been doing the job for years and who Arthur had always trusted more than anyone else on the team with Sidney’s life. Scratching his head, Arthur dropped down into a stool that was sat,empty, beside him.</p><p>“Times like these I need Crowe. I need a stiff drink.” </p><p>***<br/>Lying in the lily field in Willingden, Charlotte stared up at the sky as the book rested on her chest. </p><p>She had fled the house to escape as soon as her father turned the races on this morning. She couldn’t watch the team- not even from a distance. Sighing, no matter how much she tried to fight it, Charlotte’s mind just drifted to the team. To Sidney. </p><p>He had been so stressed the last few days. When he rang this morning, Charlotte was slightly taken back by how nervous he sounded on the phone. She could tell he wanted to say something on the phone but the sudden sound of Leroy in the background called Sidney away from her. </p><p>Was there another problem with the car so close to race time? Was the driver playing up again? </p><p>Charlotte was so consumed by her thoughts that she didn’t hear when her mother walked towards her through some of the rustling leaves on the ground. </p><p>“Charlotte,” her mum called. <br/>“Yes mum,” Charlotte said sitting up in the field, slightly startled by her mum’s sudden appearance. <br/>“There you are,” her mum smiled at her.</p><p>Settling besides Charlotte, Mrs Heywood picked the book up from Charlotte’s chest and inspected it with a smile- Moby Dick. Fitting, Mrs Heywood thought as Charlotte looked entirely lost at sea. </p><p>“I was wondering where you had vanished off to,” Mrs Heywood said, settling the book besides her on the grass.<br/>“Did you need me to do something mum?” Charlotte asked, crossing her legs. <br/>“No,” Mrs Heywood said quickly, “I don’t just like having you around to help me out Charlotte- though it is nice.”<br/>Charlotte smiled, “is everything okay mum? You look tired.”<br/>“I’m fine darling. I was wondering where you were because your dad and brother have sat in front of the tv with the races on and you weren’t there,” Mrs Heywood said. <br/>“Is that a problem?” Charlotte said. <br/>“It’s alarming because you’ve never missed the races,” Mrs Heywood said, raising an eyebrow, “what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours Charlotte.”</p><p>Raising a weak smile, Charlotte turned her head away from her mother and looked at the house where she grew up. The house was so much like it had been when she was growing up- perhaps a few more weathered bricks and few windows changed. When Charlotte was inside, she the same little girl who had memorised the sound of her parents footsteps on the creaking floorboards. She recalled the echo of her father getting home or her sibling running around her childhood bedroom. </p><p>And yet the people inside had changed so much. </p><p>Charlotte herself had changed so much from being that timid little girl who waited for her father to stand up for her to a big girl who could handle a tough career- but struggled with other parts of her life. </p><p>“I got put on temporary leave from work pending an investigation mum,” Charlotte said quietly, “I can’t watch my team race and not think I should have been there doing it myself.” <br/>“Oh Charlotte what happened?” Mrs Heywood asked. <br/>“Mum, I really don’t want to get into it,” Charlotte sighed. <br/>“Charlotte I can’t not ask. It sounds serious,” Mrs Heywood said. <br/>“It’s just more people upset that I worked hard and earned my place in the world,” Charlotte smiled weakly, “it’ll be fine mum. I promise.” </p><p>They sat in silence. Charlotte held her mother’s hand and just thought. Her job had been her whole being for so long. She gave up everything to advance. The comfort of Willingden to travel to London and study engineering. Gave up weekends with her free time to work on the cars. Gave up her self respect sometimes to do work well below her level just to get her foot in the right doors. Gave up her opinions in front of her coworkers so she could just advance at her job to a point where she could talk back. She gave up friends, boyfriends and her own family. Charlotte had given up so much and yet, when she looked around, sometimes she wondered what it had all been for. </p><p>She loved her work. She earned her way to where she was. But at what cost?</p><p>“Charlotte I’m really concerned about you,” Mrs Heywood said, “your all out in Sanditon by yourself. I don’t ever hear about any friends. There’s no family. You look distant and sad Charlotte. Are you okay?”<br/>“I’m doing well mum,” Charlotte said, picking at a lose thread on the hem of her top.<br/>“Charlotte,” Mrs Heywood said sternly.<br/>“Mum I’m honestly doing fine. Work is just up in the air and I miss it so much but other than that, I’m doing okay,” Charlotte said.<br/>Wrapping her arm around charlottes waist, Mrs Heywood said, “Charlotte being okay isn’t fine. You shouldn’t be okay. You should be happy. Excited. Content. Even sad. You used to be a little girl who never went with the wind. Who just let it flow and let it take it where it wants to go. Now you look like your stuck in a bush.”<br/>“Mum I am... content,” Charlotte said. <br/>“I don’t think you are. I think your lonely,” Mrs Heywood said, “I don’t mean to bring it up, but at least when you were with Connor, you came home angry or sad or happy. Now you just look like you waiting for the other shoe to drop all the time.”</p><p>Charlotte thought for a few moments. She could take this conversation two ways. She could lie to her mother and pass it off with a good lie that her mother would believe. Or she could open up her infected mental wound.  Her mother always showed her something that she couldn’t see before and Charlotte really needed to believe in something right now as she got crazier and crazier missing Sidney, her job and a life she wasn’t sure she would have. </p><p>Charlotte had already been making many confessions this week, what was one more? </p><p>“I’m just... everyone around me is getting married or having a baby. The kids I grew up with are moving forward and I just think... have I spent so long chasing my job that I missed the milestones that life has,” Charlotte said. <br/>“You saw Connor didn’t you?” Mrs Heywood smiled sadly.<br/>“I did. And I’m so happy for him. I really am mum but there’s this tiny part of me that just wonder... should that be me,” Charlotte said. <br/>“Charlotte whose milestone calendar are you going by my dear?” Mrs Heywood asked.<br/>“What?”<br/>“Well if it’s mine, you should have two kids by now. But if your going by your auntie Alisons, then you should be in the France on a never ending gap year,” Mrs Heywood said, “you’ll be exactly where you need to be, when you need to be.”<br/>“I know mum,” Charlotte sighed, “I’m just home and over thinking everything. But I just feel like... the years between 18 and 28 are so... so mentally exhausting. Like I’m in a constant make or break situation and I no longer have the excuse of youth and time.  I have to be an adult but I’m just not ready.” <br/>“Maybe it’s because your lonely,” Mrs Heywood said. <br/>“I’m not lonely mum,” Charlotte said, “and I don’t need another person to make me feel better about myself Mum.” <br/>“Charlotte I’m not saying you need a person to complete you or whatever the kids are saying, but I’m saying it okay to admit your single. You’ll find the right person when the time is right- doesn’t have to be romantic but I think a romantic relationship would help. Your father and I were good friends first and through it all it saved our relationship. You’ll find that friend when it’s right,” Mrs Heywood said.<br/>“Mum I’m...I’m...I’m actually... there is someone,” Charlotte stuttered.<br/>“What?” Mrs Heywood said in surprise.<br/>“I have a boyfriend but I just wanted to make sure everything was certain first before I brought him home,” Charlotte said. <br/>“Why is he part of the MAFIA?” Mrs Heywood joked. <br/>“Not from what I know, but there’s still time for that skeleton to come out the closet,” Charlotte laughed, before turning to look at her mum, “he’s really nice mum. I really like him... love him even. I haven’t brought him home yet because it’s still fairly new. With him I’m really learning the difference between a first love and... a real love.”<br/>“And how do you know that?” Mrs Heywood asked curiously. <br/>“You and dad. I watched you growing up and Sidney and I are no you two but... he’s the boy I could fly on the moon with. I learnt so much about him in the shortest time. And there’s still more to learn but... I’m not trying to get up and run even when I think I should- not like with Connor,” Charlotte said, running her fingers through the grass with a soft smile, “I think.... that’s the thing about the people we love, we reflect the way they are feeling, just like the sea relfects the sky. If the sky is bright so is the sea, but if the sky goes through a storm then it's the sea that becomes unsteady.”<br/>“And do you reflect the way he feels?” Mrs Heywood asked.<br/>Charlotte thought for a second. “Yes. I do,” Charlotte said, looking at her mum with a soft smile, “I really love him... I felt like... I was... I was a damaged painting in a forgotten museum for such a long time mum... but he wrapped me up and still...he still loves me.”<br/>“You really love him that much?” Mrs Heywood grinned. <br/>“I want his dreary Monday’s. His complications... I would marry him with a paper ring mum,” Charlotte smiled. <br/>“Very well then,” Mrs Heywood said, looking up at the house, “I approve.”</p><p>The two Heywood women sat comfortably in the field as they let the birds sing them a melody. Charlotte hadn’t planned on tearing the stars around her scars this much but as she bleed out her thoughts and feelings, she felt herself becoming alive. She needed it. And she needed to do it for herself. </p><p>“Mum you can’t say anything to dad yet,” Charlotte said quietly. <br/>“It’s not my secret to tell is it love,” Mrs Heywood said, “but make sure you tell him. I’d hate for someone else to do it first. He’ll be heartbroken.” <br/>“I know mum. I will. Give me a week to sort things out and it will be the first call back home I make,” Charlotte said, squeezing her mother’s hands reassuringly. <br/>“Your fathers missing you inside. That’s why I came looking for you. You know he loves to watch the races with you when your around,” Mrs Heywood said.<br/>“I don’t know mum. It just feels... its a little raw seeing everyone do something I was meant to do,” Charlotte said.<br/>“Charlotte, I wouldn’t normally ask but he’s really down about it,” Mrs Heywood said, “he knows you’ll leave again soon and normally he wouldn’t mind but he... he’s really missed not having you here and now your here I sometimes think he won’t let you go.” <br/>“Okay,” Charlotte sighed, “daddy’s little girl will go and watch but mum if I need an exit strategy-“ <br/>“Well need some bread from the shop,” Mrs Heywood smiled, “thank you Charlotte.” </p><p>Walking arm in arm, the mother daughter duo made small talk as they made their way back to the house. Charlotte listened as her mother told her to not be so lacking in her own self-confidence. And Charlotte believed her. She knew was more than enough but sometimes the devil just played on her mind and her fairly unoccupied time didn’t help. </p><p>Strolling into the house, Charlotte breathed out a heavy sigh as she mentally prepared herself to sit with her dad. She really wasn’t in the mood but, for him, she would try. </p><p>“How far have we got dad?” Charlotte said, jumping into the seat besides her father on the sofa. <br/>“Only a few laps in so far. Parker team is doing well,” Mr Heywood smiled excitedly. </p><p>Charlotte watched the race absent mindedly for a while. Only semi paying attention until she watched the 66 scrap across the railings after being boxed in. Charlotte felt her insides shakes as the noise echoed through the tv. The driver would be shaken,  it Charlotte felt sad for the damage the scrap would have done for the car. </p><p>Watching closely as the car pulled into the pit, Charlotte mouth almost dropped as she watched the camera move closer to the 66 and her heart stopped. She could recognise those eyes anywhere. </p><p>“Dad give me your car keys,” Charlotte said, as calmly as she could. <br/>“What?”<br/>“Car keys dad!” Charlotte practically shouted as she stood up and grabbed her phone. </p><p>Turning around the room, Mr Heywood jumped out of his seat and quickly looked around for his car keys as he watched Charlotte begin to pace around the room anxiously. Finding the keys, Mr Heywood found the keys and handed them to her- slightly apprehensive of letting his daughter behind the wheels. </p><p>“What’s wrong Charlotte?” He asked.<br/>“My boyfriends driving that formula one car and dad, so help me, I’m going to kill him for it,” Charlotte said.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Apologise for any mistakes in the chapter. I’ve been sat on this a couple of days but my minds just not fully with it. Hope you liked it. </p><p>Thanks as always for all the comments. I really appreciate it :)</p><p>Title:</p><p>Lana Del Rey- Off To The Races</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Nobody’s Fault But Mine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It took me a minute to work it out but I’d like to dedicate this chapter to reader ZB.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rushing into the stadium, Charlotte was sliding everywhere as she tried to follow the signs to the track. The laminate floor and the bottom of her trainers were not friends- Charlotte was frustrated as she gripped the edge of the wall to stop herself from falling as she turned around the corner of the corridor. </p><p>Her heart was racing.  </p><p>“Dad, keep up!” Charlotte said as she looked back at her father. </p><p>Charlotte’s father had driven his Toyota at 100mph down the motorway as Charlotte kept telling him to go faster and faster. Mr Heywood was not willing to let Charlotte drive the car in such a manic state (as she was when he first handed her the keys). He wanted to ask her a lot of questions but the way in which Charlotte barely stopped moving in the passenger seat, told him not to ask (just yet). </p><p>Charlotte’s mind was racing as Sidney raced around the track. At times Charlotte wondered what would cut through the clutter of the whirlwind of her daze, but she knew what it was that kept her going. Not the anger that cause her legs to shake. Not the fear that caused her hands to tremble. Just the love she had for Sidney and her desire to make sure he was okay. </p><p>The radio in the car played the race over the speakers as her father moved quickly between all the cars. As she heard the play by play, Charlotte felt her hands tighten into fisted balls. She was angry at Sidney but more than anything, she was really worried. It sounded like this car was getting quite a beating- the tyres already being changed there times more than the ordinary and the 66 being boxed in frequently. </p><p>It bothered Charlotte that Sidney hadn’t told her- but it was the fact that he knew she would be worried when she out that bothered her the most. Charlotte had worked within the f1 circuit for five years. She knew what it took for drivers to mentally prepare for these kinds of race. She would have understood if he just said “Charlotte, our drivers a nightmare, the others in hospital, I need to do this”. She’d of been worried- but at-least she’d of been able to help him. Yet Sidney still didn’t seem to think she would be able to separate her job from her emotions for even a few hours. </p><p>Looking around the halls, Charlotte tried her best to quickly work her way through the confusing signs and find the team’s pit. She had been to Silverstone only once before but never as part of the team. Sliding on her feet around the corner, Charlotte held her breath when she saw the security guard standing in front of the doors to the pits. With no ID and no one to back her up, she’d need to think quick. </p><p>“Excuse me Miss, you can’t be here,” he said as Charlotte reached the entrance to the pits.<br/>
“I’m the engineer for team Parker and I need to get  in there,” Charlotte said quickly.<br/>
“I’m afraid Miss that without any ID, I won’t be able to let you in. We can end up with a lot of fans pretending to not be, who they claim to be,” the guard said with a matter-of-fact tone that caused Charlottes blood to boil.<br/>
“I need to get in there. My driver is in trouble,” Charlotte said quickly.<br/>
“She really is the engineer,” Mr Heywood interjected, and Charlotte looked at him- feeling terrible she had forgotten he was even there for a moment.<br/>
“No ID. No entry,” the guard shrugged. </p><p>Charlotte balled her hands into fists at her side. She was already frustrated at having not been told about this race and at her own stubbornness for being willing to even come to Silverstone originally. She could feel her father watching her in anticipation and Charlotte was just about ready to shout at the guard when she heard footsteps behind her. Turning on her heels, she was slightly surprised when a tall man walked around the corner on his phone. </p><p> </p><p>“Charlotte?” Tom said in confusion as he looked up.<br/>
“Tom,” Charlotte said in relief, “they won’t let me in.”<br/>
“Who’s this?” Tom said, looking at the small, elderly man next to Charlotte.<br/>
“My dad but Tom- get us in,” Charlotte said quickly.<br/>
“She’s with me,” Tom said to the security guard, holding out a hand to Mr Heywood, “Mr Thomas Parker, pleasure you meet you Mr Heywood.”<br/>
“We don’t have time for this Tom,” Charlotte said, grabbing her dads arm and pulling him with her as she walked along the tool packed hall and went into the Parker pit. </p><p>Walking into the pit, Charlotte could hear the men whisper in shock at the sight of her. No one had known she was coming. Everyone had been told she wouldn’t be able to make it. Most importantly, they had all just assumed she’d been fired and would never come back. </p><p>As soon as Leroy saw her, he smiled with relief. He had known Sidney for a very long time and as the play on the track was getting tougher, he knew Sidney would need a reassuring voice in his ear to help drive him home. </p><p>Sat on a chair near the front of track was Arthur. He had biscuits on his lap and in his hand but he was nervously biting his nails as he watched Sidney run laps around the field in the 66. A number of cars followed closely besides Sidney and their closeness made Arthur even more nervous. Hearing a few gasps from around him, Arthur nervously looked over his shoulder to see what trouble could be brewing now. </p><p>“Charlotte?” Arthur said in surprise, dropping the packet of biscuits from his hand and rushing over to her, “thank god.”<br/>
“Are you okay Arthur?” Charlotte asked.</p><p>Arthur looked visibly agitated. His curly hair was a mess. His clothes had crumbs on them. His hands wouldn’t stop moving.</p><p>“I get edgy when I learn brand new information last minute,” Arthur said, now looking up besides Charlotte, “who’s this?”<br/>
Charlotte looked over her shoulder, “oh my dad. Dad, Arthur. Arthur, papa Heywood.”</p><p>Arthur and Mr Heywood made further introductions and began talking as Charlotte walked over to a very welcoming Leroy. After a warm hug, Leroy pulled out the statistics that Charlotte needed and a list of every single piece of equipment used on the 66. Charlottes eyes flickered between the screen and the sheets. Before she got onto the radio, she wanted to make sure she knew exactly what she was on about. </p><p>The pit was packed to the brim as more people continued to enter the room. Charlotte did her best to ignore them as she focused on the words on the pages. Finally satisfied that she was up to date and aware that Sidney was running on even less time now, Charlotte teacher out for the headset Leroy had placed besides her. </p><p>“Miss Heywood, put the headset down and move away from the monitors,” Sam Sidaway said.<br/>
“No,” Charlotte replied, watching the screen closely.<br/>
“Miss Heywood I won’t ask again. Your still under investigation,” Sam said, his briefcase in hand as the other board members began to fill the rooms.<br/>
“You have your best driver in a car that’s been boxed in and attacked constantly. Your losing money fixing it and if it keeps taking that beating then you’ve lost the race. I’m your best bet so I won’t step away,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Miss Heywood-“<br/>
“Chief Heywood to you,” Charlotte said loudly.<br/>
“You need to step away or you’ll risk permanent termination,” sam said.<br/>
“Fire me then,” Charlotte said, dropping the headset onto the table and walking towards him, “You’ve kept me dangling on a string all week so what have I got to lose. If you want to fire me then fire me right now.”<br/>
“What?” Arthur and Tom said at the same time.<br/>
“This isn’t appropriate Miss-“<br/>
“Chief,” Charlotte corrected, standing in front of him, “I’m done with your threats. Either fire me or back off and let me do the job I was hired to do. The one I earned.”<br/>
“Fine. Then it is with regret-“<br/>
“Now hang on a minute,” Tom said, fixing his waistcoat as he stepped between the two of them, “let’s be reasonable here.”<br/>
“Mr Parker, she is breaking the terms of her agreement,” Sam said.<br/>
“I won’t allow Chief Heywood to leave,” Tom said, clearing his throat.<br/>
“And what would you like me to do about that?” Sam said,”rules are rules Mr Parker. We have them for a reason.”<br/>
“And I have read them,” Tom said proudly, raising his finger to the air as he smiled. </p><p>The team watched behind him. Arthur rolled his eyes and mentally though ‘oh god’. When Tom spoke like this, very little usually went well. With no alcohol available, Arthur grabbed a bottle of water and began to drink it quickly- hoping it would settle his nerves.</p><p>“As a director I have the power to-“<br/>
“As a director, Mr Parker, you have power under the company's articles to make a decision which can overrule the board, but that is not written into any articles at this company,” Sam said smiling, “I have been given the power by the board to make the final decision on this matter.”<br/>
“And as I was saying, I’ve read up on this and as a shareholder with more than 5% of the company, I’ve spent some time calling in various meeting and it was agreed just last night that we would be reinstalling Chief Heywood- effective immediately,” Tom said proudly.<br/>
“I wasn’t informed of any meeting,” Sam said.<br/>
“I’m sure we sent you a note- perhaps our carrier pigeon got lost along the way,” Tom said, causing Arthur to almost choke on the water he was drinking.<br/>
“You can’t do this Mr Parker,” Sam said.<br/>
“Actually I can. And I have the paperwork in my briefcase to make it happen,” Tom said, looking befuddled as he searched for his briefcase. </p><p>Finding it buried besides some tools near the monitors, Tom dug our last nights paper and handed the appropriate paperwork to Sam- who inspected it carefully. Sam frowned as he reach each word and processed it through his head. </p><p>“You’ll also see that we’ve agreed to dissolve Parker One,” Tom said, clasping his hands being his back.<br/>
“What?” Arthur said, jumping out from the rest of the group and moving towards Tom.<br/>
“Dissolving your own company,” Sam laughed, “doesn’t sound like a very good idea Mr Parker.”<br/>
“As your records have show, the company does not have any money. Just a name is pointless without any money. Better to dissolve it and pay out all the shareholders and staff, is it not?” Tom said calmly.<br/>
“Sidney is going to kill you,” Arthur muttered, taking the papers from Sam’s hands, “I’m going to kill you.”<br/>
“Your a foolish man Mr Parker,” Sam said, shaking his head, “Chief Heywood can get on with her job. You’ll be hearing from me in the morning.”</p><p>Breathing out one last laugh as he looked Tom up and down, Sam walked away angrily. He did not like being out in his place by anyone- especially not someone like Tom who never seemed to have his head screwed on. </p><p>“Tom what the actual fuck have you done besides illegally forge all of your siblings signatures,” Arthur whispered angrily into Tom’s ears. All eyes were still on them in the pit.<br/>
“We’ll get to that Arthur but perhaps Charlotte could help with the race first,” Tom said, clapping his hands together as he looked over to Charlotte.</p><p>Leroy smiled as he held out the headset for Charlotte to put on. Charlotte nervously took it- letting out a deep breath as she was relieved she could finally do a part of her job but apprehensive about getting it right. With so many people watching her, she had no room to get this wrong. </p><p>Watching the monitor for a second, Leroy have Charlotte a quick run down of what had just happened as Charlotte watched a car come up beside Sidneys and push him into the side rail. Charlotte mind shifted into gear. </p><p>“What’s happening Parker?”  Charlotte said.<br/>
“Charlotte?  Sidney said in confusion, “what are you-“<br/>
“It’s chief right now,” Charlotte smiled looking at Tom, “what’s happening out there?”<br/>
“The 32 keeps trying to bash me in the side. The breaks feel like they’re stiffening and my tyres are going to need a change,” Sidney said quickly, “also I’m pretty sure sure my oil gage isn’t working.”</p><p>Putting her hand over the microphone, Charlotte asked Leroy for their oil statistics. The tank followed the regulations at the beginning and was full. Taking into account his speed, the laps, car weight and duration, Sidney should be okay. Charlotte also checked when he’d had his last tyre change- aware from the commentary in the car he’d be changing them far more than necessary. </p><p>“You should be fine but your behind. You need to make up five laps in the same time as the 32,” Charlotte said. </p><p>Sidney didn’t respond. His foot hit the accelerator and the pit went silent- everyone was transfixed with his driving. </p><p>The sound of Charlotte’s voice was enough for Sidney to get his head back in the game. The cars that had been drafting him from behind had constantly driven his mind to Crowe and the fear that Sidney had buried about being the next causality in hospital (because of a racing accident) had began to dig itself out and burrow into his mind. It was a danger thought to have during such a high speed race. </p><p>Slowly, Sidney moved it from his mind. He focused in on the other cars ahead of him and in his rear view mirror. He timed each of his movements- looking for openings where he had previously seen none and shifting between cars he was previously too scared to try and over take (fully aware that last night he did that in a big profile race like this, his car had flipped over and he was in hospital for a month). </p><p>Turning around another bend, the other formula one cars began to pull in for a pit stop. Sidney chose to continue on the track. </p><p>“What are you doing Sidney?”  Charlotte said into the microphone.<br/>
“Haven’t got time for a pit stop Chief,” Sidney sharply, “you said the car was good. Let’s see how good.” </p><p>Sidney continued for a number of laps- picking up the speed and time he needed to move up the leader board. Time moved painstakingly slowly and yet so exhilarating quickly at the same time as everyone watched with batted breath. </p><p>Charlotte and Leroy watched from the monitors closely as they noticed the 32 begin to drop behind Sidney and ride the back of Sidneys car. Charlotte looked at Leroy wearily. </p><p>“Why is the 32 drafting him?” Charlotte almost whispered. </p><p>As the 32 pushed at the 66’s wheels, Sidney felt his heart beating in his chest. As much as he tried to focus his mind, he kept picturing everything in slow motion. Crowes damaged car slammed into the rails (which sat just inches away from Sidney now), Crowe being pulled out. The wheels rolling around the track. Sidney could feel himself panicking. </p><p>“Sidney,” Charlotte said through the radio, “what’s happening?”<br/>
“I cant shake him off?” Sidney said, the nerves in his voice evident. </p><p>As Sidney spoke, two other cars moved around him. One in front and another beside him. The 66 was an inch away from the rails and the back was continuously being bashed into as the 32 kept drafting him and the car besides him edged closer- causing the 66 to scrape into the wall. </p><p>“I’m boxed in,” Sidney said, “I’m taking a real beating.”<br/>
“Slow it down,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“What?” Sidney asked.<br/>
“Drop your speed. The 32 is leading and won’t want to lose. Drop your speed so low that he had no choice but to leave you alone- then pull out,” Charlotte explained. </p><p>For the next ten minutes, Charlotte and Leroy watched nervously as Sidney dropped his speed. It was a gamble but Charlotte was hoping the 32 wanted to win more than it wanted to stop Sidney- for what reason, was still unknown. Sidney managed to shake free of the other cars and just as the crew began to relax a little, watching Sidney drive like a lightening bolt around the track, they heard his voice on the radio again.</p><p>“New problem, I can feel that I’m losing oil pressure,” Sidney said.<br/>
“He’s sputtering all over the track,” Leroy said to Charlotte as he pointed at the stained trail on the track that was being caught on camera.<br/>
“I’m coming in,” Sidney said confidently. </p><p>As Sidney began to move off the track, Charlotte looked at Leroy. They both had to think fast. </p><p>Charlotte looked at Leroy, “we can’t change that tank.”<br/>
“Or add more oil,” Leroy said, “we also don’t actually have anything to fix it with in a short amount of time.”</p><p>Biting the bottom of her lip, Charlotte looked around the garage. They physically couldn’t put in a new oil tank and they had no carbon sheets to stick over the leaking area. As she tapped her fingers on the table, Charlotte noticed the large roll of thick, silver tape at the edge of the work bench.</p><p>“Tape it,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“What?”<br/>
“Tape it. It will be enough to stop the leak and stop a spark,” Charlotte said, grabbing the thick grey tape from the table and handing it to a mechanic. </p><p>Charlotte quickly explained what to do and as soon as Sidney pulled in the team got to work on the car- lifting it slightly so they could tape it quickly and change the tyres. The additional work made their pit stop longer than they ideally wanted but it was worth it. </p><p>“How long will it hold?” Sidney asked.<br/>
“Maybe five laps, maybe one. Either way, try not to get slammed around anymore,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Yes Chief,” Sidney laughed. </p><p>Speeding off again, Sidney went quickly to make up for the lost time. He made moved up quickly on the leader board and was now only one place away from being first. </p><p>Edging closer, Charlotte the knot in her stomach tighten as Sidney moved dangerously close to another car. </p><p>“Sidney don’t push it,” Charlotte said. “Sidney the car can’t take.”</p><p>Ignoring her, Sidney edged even closer to the car in first position, pulling around the side and going in front. As he did, the car behind him edged closer to the 66- try to stop Sidney from overtaking him. With his back tyre hitting the front of the 32, Sidney could do nothing as he watched through his rear view mirror and saw the 32 fly up into the air. Putting his foot on the accelerator Sidney moved quickly and carefully to avoid the flying parts in the air and the flat car that was turning over in the middle of the track. </p><p>Sidney crossed the first position. </p><p>“He won,” Tom said, watching Sidney drive his car around the track and before he could pull into the pit.<br/>
“He won, Charlotte said in almost shock, “he won!”</p><p>The team gathered around the outside of the pit as they waited in excitement to see Sidney. His car was the first to pull into pit and as it did, they erupted into a roar of cheer. </p><p>Jumping out of his car, Sidney felt his hands shake as he took off his helmet. He was relieved that he had made it out in one piece. He was relieved that they had won. He was relieved that Charlotte was there.</p><p>Without much regard for anyone else, Sidney dropped his helmet in his seat and immediately pushed through the crowd of people to go towards Charlotte. Once he reached her, he didn’t even give her a chance to speak as he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her passionately. Charlotte, take back by the sudden feel of Sidney on her, didn’t respond at first but once her brain caught up, she kissed him back just as hard. Any anger she had, had washed away as she was just relieved he was safe. </p><p>Pulling back, Sidney smiled as he looked at her. He exhaled a deep sigh- one he had been holding since the morning. Sidney was entirely aware his apprehensions were of his own doing but in this moment, he didn’t care for them. As he looked up, Sidney noticed a particular set of eyes boring holes into him. </p><p>“Charlotte why is there an old man staring at me like I’ve done something wrong?” Sidney almost whispered into Charlottes ear.<br/>
Turning around, Charlotte pressed her lips together to hold in her laugh, “let me introduce you to my dad.”<br/>
“Your dad?” Sidney said, his heart racing again, “here?” </p><p>Charlotte pulled Sidney by the hand towards her father. </p><p>“Dad, this is Sidney,” Charlotte smiled, “Sidney this is papa Heywood.”<br/>
“Mr Heywood pleasure to meet you,” Sidney said, nervously holding his hand out to greet him.<br/>
“Sidney, a photo!” Tom called.<br/>
“If you’ll excuse me,” Sidney said, glancing at Charlotte before he left. </p><p>Charlotte watched Tom grab Sidney by the shoulders and lead him away. She smiled warmly as the excitement of his win settled and was replaced with pride. </p><p>“I’m not sure I approve,” Mr Heywood said into Charlotte ear.<br/>
“Why?” Charlotte said, raising her eyebrow as she looked at him.<br/>
“You wanted to kill him three hours ago,” Mr Heywood grinned.<br/>
“He’s an idiot dad, but he’s my idiot. And he’s less of an idiot than Connor ever was,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Don’t remind me of him,” Mr Heywood said, rolling his eyes.<br/>
“I’m not won over just yet Charlotte- probably because I just spoke two sentences with him. I’ll probably need to go home and have your mother fill me in- I assume she knows?” Mr Heywood said.<br/>
“She knows a bit,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“I’ll get my own chickens in order before I tell you if I approve or not,” Mr Heywood said.<br/>
“Dad,” Charlotte almost sung.<br/>
“I’ll see you next Sunday for lunch at our house,” Mr Heywood said, “Both of you.”<br/>
“What?” Charlotte said.<br/>
“I better meet the boy who stole my daughters heart and I’m barely going to be able to do that properly now am I dear,” Mr Heywood said, “plus I do have to get home- you know how much I hate driving in the dark.”<br/>
“Dad I can put you up in a hotel,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“No it’s okay Charlotte. I’m going to go home. I assume that Mr Parker can get you home in one piece,” Mr Heywood said with a cheeky smile.<br/>
“Dad please don’t,” Charlotte said, shaking her head in embarrassment.<br/>
“Goodbye Charlotte and I’ll see you on Sunday,” Mr Heywood said, hugging her tightly, “Oh and Charlotte.”<br/>
“Yes dad,” Charlotte said, not letting go of him just yet.<br/>
“I’m so proud to have seen you in action today. That’s the strong girl I know and love,” Mr Heywood said, kissing her on her head, “Sunday and don’t forget the boyfriend.”<br/>
“Yes dad,” Charlotte giggled as she watched him walk away. </p><p>Charlotte sighed happily as she watched her dad walk away. It had been a very long day and as much as she wanted to scream at Sidney for hiding today from her, she was too tired to mentally discuss it- along with a whole host of issues she was realising they needed to discuss. </p><p>Chatting with Leroy, Charlotte smiled when she saw Sidney return with a nervous smile on his face.</p><p>“Where is your dad?” Sidney asked, looking around the track as Leroy excused himself.<br/>
“Gone home. We’re visiting Willingden next Sunday to have lunch with him and everyone else,” Charlotte smiled.<br/>
Sidney paused to think for a moment before he looked down at Charlotte with a smirk, “Let’s get out of here,” Sidney said.<br/>
“Don’t you have to do the interviews? And the team celebration?” Charlotte asked.<br/>
“I’ve done enough. There’s somewhere else I’d much rather be,” he whispered into her ear. </p><p>Feeling the tug of his hand in hers, Charlotte didn’t even stop to think as Sidney led her away to his car. Once in the passenger seat, she closed her eyes and leaned back to try and calm herself down. It had been days since she had felt Sidney’s hands on her bare skin and her heart was beating fast just thinking about it. Glancing over at Sidney, Charlotte could see his hand gripped tightly around the wheel as he drove her to where he’d been staying; it only intensified the electric sensation surging through her body. </p><p>Sidney was driving far too quickly for these roads but Charlotte didn’t say a thing. She didn’t want to. She wanted him to hurry up. </p><p>Pulling up outside of a tall building, Charlotte looked at it in awe. It was a beautifully crafted building- modern exteriors and a great height in comparison to the small buildings around it. Out front was a small garden- blushing roses and scented lavender decorating the ground and walls. </p><p>Sidney got out the car and walked around his Aston Martin to help Charlotte out. He took a hold of her hand and led her through the garden. Charlotte trusted him completely. With wide eyes, she followed him and felt her breath catch as Sidney slipped his hand around her waist as he helped her into the building. </p><p>The two of them looked at each other with dark eyes as they approached an elevator- both silent as they watched the other breath heavily. Sidney pulled out a card from his pocket and slid it into the key holder and the elevator opened almost immediately. Charlotte stepped in first. </p><p>As the elevator doors closed and Sidney pressed the button for the top floor, Charlotte looked at him. He was still dirty from the race- in his driving suit and his helmet hair, but it turned Charlotte on beyond her control. </p><p>“How many floors till the top?” Charlotte asked quietly.<br/>
“About... 13 more?” Sidney said, looking up at the number changing on the digital counter.<br/>
“And what’s at the top?” Charlotte asked, wrapping her arms around his waist.<br/>
“Babington penthouse. He’s let me call it home for the week,” Sidney said, biting his bottom lip.<br/>
“So this is a private elevator?” Charlotte asked, raising an eyebrow.<br/>
“Yes,” Sidney said almost hesitantly.</p><p>Charlotte moves forward and pushed the emergency stop button of the elevator. With a slight shake the elevator came to a sudden halt. </p><p>Now the two of them were completely, and entirely alone without the risk of interruption and Charlotte could feel the heat burning from their desire as they both breathed heavily- pulses racing. </p><p>Sidney swallowed hard as Charlotte moved near him and without thinking, he took it as an invitation to do more. Immediately, Sidney pulled Charlotte by the waist and crushed his lips onto hers. They kissed each other passionately as they felt their legs become wobbly underneath them. It had been one long week. </p><p>Sidney moved his lips down Charlotte neck and Sidney could see the goosebumps on her skin as he sucked on the skin above her pulse. Charlotte groaned, her hands automatically grabbing the thin railing that sat on the back wall of the elevator to steady herself and closing her eyes. where will this elevator lead?” Charlotte asked, wrapping her arms around his waist.<br/>
“Into Babingtons penthouse,” Sidney said. </p><p>Charlotte trembled as Sidney moved his soft lips down her neck and opened his mouth to kiss her shoulder blade. As his lips moved along the skin, Sidneys hand wrapped around her waist and slipped them under her T-shirt and landed on her stomach. </p><p>Gripping her hands on his shoulder, Charlotte pulled Sidney in towards her. Her breaststroke rose and fell seductively as she breathed hard- her hot breathe arousing Sidney as he felt her breath on the back of his ear. </p><p>Sidney had a direct look down Charlotte neckline as he sucked on her skin. His hands moved freely under the think fabric of her T-shirt. His fingers slide over the curves of Charlotte’s breasts and then went over her shoulders, pulling her T-shirt up with them. His lips trailed all over her skin as as they came in contact with Charlotte’s thin, black lace bra, Sidney groaned. </p><p>Sidney quickly glanced at Charlottes eyes. He noticed that her eyes were on his lips and her mouth was open- her hot breath hitting his face as she pushed her hands through his curls and pulled his face into her hers. She kissed him passionately; letting her fingers grip his hair and pull him in even closer. </p><p>Charlotte slid her tongue into Sidney’s mouth and intertwined hers with his. Her hand  slipped over his chest to neck and over the zip of his driving overalls. With shaking fingers she pulled the zip down quickly, before she slipped her hand over the back of his neck to his shoulders, and felt every muscle she had memorised on his bare skin. </p><p>Pushing the sleeves off his shoulders as Sidney sucked on her neck, Charlotte bit her bottom lip to try and suppress the moan that was dancing on her tongue. She was stroking Sidneys upper body with her fingers but he was making it very difficult for her hands to concentrate. </p><p>With a groan, Sidney watched Charlotte digger her teeth into the soft pink flesh of her own lips and unable to hold back, he licked her lips with tongue before kissing her passionately. His hands found her hips and he carefully undid the button of her jeans before pushing them down. Charlotte moaned into his mouth as she helped shake her jeans off. Once Charlotte was free of the denim, Sidney wrapped an arm around her waist and lifted Charlotte up against the elevator wall. He heard her whimper as he groaned into her mouth. Gently, be gently pressed his hard cock into her sensitive area as his tongue tongue wrapped tightly around hers and played in her mouth. </p><p>The growled moan that escaped Sidneys mouth, made Charlotte go wild and she threw her head back as Sidney showered her with wet kisses over her knee. Sidney held Charlotte against the wall with his hips as he pushed his hand to grip her ass. Tightening her legs around his waist, Charlotte arched her back so that her bare belly could touch his as she felt his hot breath burn on her neck. </p><p>Sliding her hand along he his chest, Charlotte further undid the zip of Sidney overalls- the part hanging from his hips falling to the ground. She stuck her thumbs in on either side of the waistband of boxers and pushed them down. She then moved her hand to feel his full length. Gently she massaged his as she slid up and down. Sidney chocked a moan into her mouth as he felt himself become weak at the knees. </p><p>Their urges were desperate. Pure desire and a euphoric feeling of surviving the events of the day.</p><p>Sidney pushed his hips into Charlotte as she gripped onto his shoulders. Grabbing her panties form each side, he practically torn them off before he flung them away as Charlottes ass rested on the wall rail of the elevator. Desperately, Sidneys slid his tongue into her mouth and smothered her with wet kisses. Charlotte moaned as Sidney deepened their kiss. </p><p>Sidney positioned the tip of his hard cock near charlottes entrance and as he bit softly on her bottom lip, he thrusted into her. Charlotte moaned loudly as her fingers dug into his neck and gripped onto his hair. They moved quickly- thrust after thrust, as Charlotte screamed out his name and Sidney groaned into her skin. </p><p>Charlotte moved her hips up and further into Sidney as he tightened his hold around her waist. Again and again, Sidney hit all the right spots as Charlotte felt his deep, long thrusts. </p><p>Sidney felt her walls close around him as he devoured every inch of her mouth and bit softly on her lip. In rhythm, they moaned breathlessly as they felt themselves edge closer to their climax. With one more deep thrust, they both climaxed from passion and came undone. Their heavy breaths filled the elevator as Sidney rested his head in the crook of charlottes neck as she stayed pressed against the elevator wall. </p><p>“Sidney,” Charlotte said breathlessly.<br/>
“Yeah,” Sidney said, looking up at her.<br/>
“Your an idiot you know that right,” Charlotte said, resting her hand in his waist.<br/>
Sidney chuckled into her skin, “I’ve been told that. I’m sorry.”<br/>
“Your an idiot. But your my beautiful idiot,” Charlotte said, her lips finding his and kissing him deeply. </p><p>Slowly, Charlotte stood on her own two feet as Sidney put her down. The two of them smiled at each other as they gathered their clothes and restarted the elevator. They didn’t bother to put anything back one. There was really no point. </p><p>The elevator dinged and Charlotte looked at Sidney with a cheeky grin. </p><p>“I’ll race you to the bedroom,” Charlotte said, already halfway out the elevator door.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title: </p><p>Led Zeppelin- Nobody’s Fault But Mine</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Somebody To Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What are you doing down here?” Sidney said.</p><p>He was at the bottom of the stairs, rubbing his tired eyes as he watched Charlotte sit on the thick rug in the middle of the living room with the fire on. She was wearing a t shirt he had left lying around the bedroom, that was far too long for her. There were boxes of photos around her as she flicked through the loose photographs in her hands. </p><p>“You were asleep and I didn’t want to wake you,” Charlotte smiled, looking up at Sidney, “I was nosey and found these boxes on the shelf out there. Babington has a lot of photos of you and Crowe.”<br/>
“We were the three best friends that any one could have,” Sidney laughed as he walked over to her and sat beside her on the ground, “we’ve spent most of our lives knowing each other.” </p><p>Looking up at her, Sidney clenched his jaw as he took in Charlotte’s natural morning beauty- a sight he had deeply missed for days. He gulped hard as he tried to remind himself not to stare at her. He just really couldn’t help it. Noticing a runaway strand of hair in her face, Sidney brushed a strand of Charlotte’s hair behind her ear as the glow of the fire, shinned against her skin. Sidney smiled softly. </p><p>“Good morning,” Charlotte whispered, dropping the photo in her hand and moving to straddle his lap.<br/>
“Morning,” Sidney said, wrapping his arms around her waist.<br/>
“You were sleeping like a log this morning,” Charlotte said, resting her arms on his shoulders.<br/>
“I had a very tiring workout yesterday- well after you ran up the stairs and then got lost because you didn’t actually know where the bedroom was,” Sidney joked.<br/>
Charlotte laughed, “who knew this place was so big and had so many rooms.”<br/>
Sidney looked at Charlotte for a moment, a contented smile on his face, “I slept well because I’m happy.”<br/>
“That’s good,” Charlotte said softly, meeting his eyes, “and lucky, since I’m happy as well.”</p><p>Charlotte reached her fingertips into Sidneys hair as he licked his tongue over her lip. Groaning, Charlotte opened her mouth and took his full lower lip between hers- gently digging her teeth into his soft skin. Without a second thought, Sidney tightened his grip around her waist and pushed Charlotte down into the thick rug, rolling on top of her. </p><p>His lips never left hers (not even for a second), as his mouth devoured hers. Charlotte slide her tongue between his lips and intertwined hers with Sidney’s in his mouth. As their kiss intensified and Charlotte felt Sidney’s warm body on top of hers, she moaned into his mouth. As alway, the sound and the sweet taste of her, triggered something inside of Sidney and suddenly he felt as if her body was not close enough to his. Like he needed her to be closer to him. Grabbing her wrists as he sucked on her neck, Sidney rested them on the ground (up above her head). His hands trailed down her arms, over her breasts, down her rib cage until they stopped at the hem of his t shirt. </p><p>Charlotte shivered when she felt his warm fingers against the bare skin of her thighs. Sidney lifted his head from her neck and with a devilish grin, he lowered his head down to between her thighs. </p><p>Gently moving his lips, Sidney licked along the whole length of her slit slowly with his wet tongue. Charlotte let out a loud moan as Sidneys lips closed around her sensitive entrance and her skin twitched from his hot breath. Her eyes rolled back as she felt his tongue burrow inside of her and suck on her most sensitive on points. As Charlotte raised her hips and moaned more loudly, Sidney sucked harder. He moved his tongue gently around her (covering ever inch of her sensitive area and trailing her with soft kisses) until he could see Charlotte had climaxed. </p><p>Trailing kisses up her her body, Sidney brushed his hands along her skin as he pushed the the shirt up and over her body. Lifting the top over her head they kissed.</p><p>Pushing down his own boxers- too impatient for Charlotte’s hands to get there first, Sidney kicked them off and placed his hard cock between Charlotte’s goose-bumped thighs. He put the palm of his hands on both of her hips and pulled Charlotte tight against him as she wrapped her leg around him. </p><p>They both gasped loudly when Sidney thrust into her. </p><p>His touched became slow and gentle as he drunk from her lips and stroked the inside of Charlotte’s mouth with his tongue. When Charlotte’s tongue found his, she more greedily took his into her mouth. Sidney let out a desperate moan as he felt the electric surge between their hot bodies. </p><p>As the two of them moved their hips into the others, Sidneys hand slowly admired her body. His fingertips ran over the inside of her thigh and up to the valley between her greats. It wasn’t just from lust that Sidney moaned against her lips but with a deep desire to be close to her. Charlotte pressed the palm of her hand against Sidneys chest. She could feel his heart beating rapidly against his chest as they both moved. </p><p>Lifting his lips from hers, be slid them over her skin. Slowly, he breathed over her collarbones to her full breasts. Slowly, Sidney gripped them both from below and lifted them up a bit. He slid a thumb over Charlotte’s rosy, hard nipple and lowered his shad to her skin with a shuddering breath. He gently pressed his lips on the skin just above her breasts before gently sliding his open mouth up and down the valley between her breasts- his beard brushing against her delicate skin. </p><p>Charlotte closed her eyes tightly as she felt Sidney’s full length thrust inside her again. Her head was bent back and her mouth open as she moaned out loud. Her bare chest was covered in goose bumps as Sidney lips lingered around on her breast. </p><p>Sidney tightened his hand around her curves of her hips and closed his lips around her hard nipples. Charlotte moaned loudly,her hips rolling against his as Sidney sucked gently. Sidney began by pressing his lips against her hard breast before he let the tip of his tongue circle around her perky nipples. </p><p>Craving him for herself, Charlotte pushed her fingers through his curls and tried to pull him up to meet her face but as she did, Sidney closed his lips and sucked harder on her breasts. Charlotte screamed out his name as she sank into the rug, her back arching as Sidney painted her breasts with his tongue. </p><p>Hearing his name breathlessly from her lips once again, Sidney looked up at Charlotte as she tightened her grip around his curls. His rough beard rubbed soothing against her bare skin as he moved up her skin and met her lips. Charlotte wrapped her fingers in his hair as she pulled him closer to her. She licked his lips before pushing her tongue into his mouth- searching him with her tongue.</p><p>As their kiss intensified, Sidney began to thrust harder. Over and over again, he hit all the right spots as Charlotte moaned against his lips. Her fingers were tightly pressed against his curls- unwilling to let him go. Moving in rhythm, Charlotte’s hips rolled against Sidneys as she moaned out loud; coming undone and feeling her insides explode as she did. Charlotte pulled Sidney closer to her and sucked on his bottom lip as she rode the waves of her orgasm. </p><p>Panting, Charlotte could still feel Sidney’s full, hard length inside her and trailed her lips along his neck as he began to move quickly. Charlotte sucked on his skin as he thrusted hard and deep into her- Charlotte moaning on his skin as she bent into him. Sidney said her name over and over again as Charlotte gently bit on his skin. As he felt himself becoming closer to a climax, Sidney’s thrusts became harder and with one last thrust, he felt himself come undone. </p><p>Dropping down on the ground beside her, Sidney and Charlotte let their breathless gasps for air fill the room as their chests moved up and down. </p><p>After a few minutes of lying on the rug, Sidney pulled the thick throw on the sofa and pulled it over himself and Charlotte. He didn’t want this moment to end just yet and the warmth of the fire was comforting. Putting the throw over their bare bodies, he rested his head on Charlottes bare chest- his fingers trailing softly, up and down, the inside of her arm. </p><p>Sidney had never felt this content. The pieces of his world seemed to all be falling into place. He turned his head to look up at Charlotte and his mind just filled with thoughts. He didn’t just want charlottes blue skies and starry nights. He wanted her coffee addicted mornings, double shift afternoons, and late night crying. He wanted her good and her exhausting days- just like he wanted to give her his. Sidney had felt like he had been lost at sea for decades, and no one has come out looking for him. Then this love came into his life and suddenly someone showed up in a similar life raft. And even though, Sidney often still felt like he was lost at sea, Charlotte made him feel like he’d finally come home. There was no doubt in Sidney’s mind now. This was exactly what he wanted. </p><p>“What time do we have to leave?” Charlotte said, tiredly.<br/>
“Babington said whenever I wanted. I have to see Tom on the track before we can go home though,” Sidney said, “I have no idea what’s up with him.”<br/>
“I forget to tell you. He said the oddest thing yesterday,” Charlotte said, her eyebrows crinkling as she recalled the conversation.<br/>
“When isn’t Tom saying something odd,” Sidney muttered.<br/>
“He’s dissolved the company Sidney,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“What?” Sidney said, lifting his lead to look at Charlotte.<br/>
“He said so last night. I’ve got my job back but the company’s being dissolved as of Monday it think- Arthur read the paperwork,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“How can he do that?” Sidney said.<br/>
“Forged your signatures,” Charlotte said quietly.<br/>
“Of course he did,” Sidney gritted through his teeth as he rested his head back on charlottes chest.</p><p>He exhaled deeply before clearing the angry thoughts in his mind. Sidney should have realised long ago that Tom would do what Tom wanted and it was not his job to save his brother all the time- especially since he did not want to listen to anyone else besides himself. Calming himself down, Sidney decided he wasn’t going to get angry about Tom anymore. </p><p>“It’s done now and I don’t think there’s anything I can do about it so I’m not going to get stressed about it,” Sidney said.<br/>
“That’s very adult of you,” Charlotte said, running her fingers through his hair.<br/>
“I need to be an adult,” Sidney sighed, “I’m sorry.”<br/>
“You don’t have to apolgise for getting annoyed at Tom,” Charlotte smiled.<br/>
“Not for Tom. For not telling you about the race. We said we wouldn’t hid things and I hid this from you. I shouldn’t have,” Sidney said, staring at the fire place as his hand continued to trail along Charlotte’s forearm.<br/>
“Why did you?” Charlotte asked.<br/>
“I knew you’d be worried. I knew you’d be able to talk me out of it. I needed a clear head. I didn’t want you to remind me to be careful because of what happened to Crowe-“<br/>
“What happened to Crowe happened because he was drunk and no one should have let him in a car. Your situations are very different Sidney,” Charlotte said, her hand stopping in his hair.<br/>
“It’s different but it’s a reminder of how dangerous this job can be nonetheless. You could have talked me out of it. I didn’t want that. I wanted to drive. I thought I didn’t. I thought that part of my life was over. But I did. I missed that thrill. I missed feeling like my fathers hands were on top of mine like they were when I was six and he let me drive the car in his lap,” Sidney said nostalgically, “I missed the feel of the wind pushing against my face and the excitement I got every time I saw Leroy’s face during a pit stop. I’d of spoken to you and not done it.”<br/>
“Why? What could I have said?” Charlotte asked curiously.<br/>
“If your in doubt Charlotte I wouldn’t do it. I’d rather have everyday with you than risk losing that in the space of a couple hours,” Sidney said, “I was kind of hoping you’d of worked that out by now.”<br/>
“I don’t want you to not do the things you love because of me,” Charlotte said, frowning.<br/>
“There are many things I love Charlotte, but there’s only one person I love,” Sidney said, turning his head to look at her, “It’s no contest anymore. I used to drive to get away from my problem. I don’t need to anymore.”<br/>
“Sidney,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“I can’t promise to not lie to you again. My mind will find some way to justify something in my mind at some point but... what I can promise Charlotte is that I do not do them to hurt you. I genuinely dont want to hurt you.”<br/>
“I know Sidney,” Charlotte said softly.<br/>
“I want you to see me for me, to see right through me, to see something I’ve never seen in me. See the black cloud that floats above my head on my bad days, watch it transform into a hurricane and be able to save me. To not feel like you’re standing there, right in front of me, just watching me,” Sidney said, intertwining his fingers between hers, “Come close to look at me; to look into my eyes that are full of sincerity. To feel my arms are security and my lips are serenity, I promise it is and always will be. Everybody has their own universes within them, and I’m want for you to take a look inside of mine. The gates are fully open with no restrictions or private property. I’m letting you explore all of me... because I really...truly... and completely love you.”</p><p>Charlotte bent her head down to kiss Sidney on his head. The two of them soaked in the calmness of their oasis and laid there on the rug in each other’s arms. Sidney’s hand drew circles on the bare skin of her stomach and Charlotte took a deep breath as a knot formed. Sidney’s honesty caused her to feel guilty of her own secrets. </p><p>Charlotte had taken a week to talk about her feeling to everyone but Sidney and although she felt lighter after speaking to someone, she knew she wanted to talk to Sidney. She needed to. They had moved so fast in this relationship and as certain as Charlotte was that she wanted to be with Sidney, she didn’t know what he felt beyond love. </p><p>Charlotte had never been a personal planner. Career wise, yes, she had it mapped out. She knew where she wanted to go and by when. But suddenly, she was wondering where she wanted to be personally. The number of friends getting married and pregnant had spurred it on, but Charlotte had thought of it a few times when she watched Sidney make breakfast on a Sunday and, although she dismissed it quickly, she couldn’t any more. She didn’t want to. And as honest as Sidney had been with her, it was now her turn. </p><p>Running her hand through his hair, Charlotte took a gulp before she whispered, “I thought I was pregnant.”</p><p>As the words reached his ears, Sidney’s hand froze on Charlottes stomach. A wave of emotions passed over him- mostly confusion as he was certain they had alway been careful, but also a sense of loss, a sense of relief and a sense of sudden wonder. He pondered his thoughts carefully for a moment. Sidney wasn’t quite sure what direction to take this conversations as the two of them had never discussed the seriousness of their relationship before- let alone a child. </p><p>“And?” He said, his voice catching in his throat as his hand stiffened one charlottes stomach.<br/>
“You don’t have to worry, I’m not,” Charlotte said, trying to act casual.<br/>
“Are you sure?” Sidney said.<br/>
Charlotte opened her mouth to speak but froze- the word not wanting to form. Exhaling deeply, she nodded her head before whispering, “yeah.”<br/>
“Are... are you okay?” Sidney asked, clearing his throat.<br/>
“I thought I was. I didn’t want kids. You know the job, you know what it’s like. I didn’t want a small human being so dependent on me that I couldn’t do something I loved,” Charlotte said, “but I’ve realised those two things are not independent of one another. With the right person they can work... together... so I’ve spent the last week at home home mourning a loss I didn’t know I wanted- something that wasn’t even mine to lose.” </p><p>Sidney sat up and looked down at Charlotte lying on the floor. She looked so sad as she avoided looking at him. He wasn’t entirely sure what to do. As soon as the thought of a baby had been put into the universe, it seemed to have been snatched away just as quickly. But Sidney would have been happy. Genuinely happy to have had a child. A baby with Charlotte. </p><p>Charlotte gulped hard as she looked at the ceiling. She could feel Sidney looking at her but she couldn’t look at him- she would begin to cry and she was trying far too hard to hold back her tears to give in now. As the room settle din a comfortable silence, Charlotte thought about what to do next and it was clear to her, she needed to put it out on the table before things moved any further. </p><p>“It made me think a lot- the pregnancy scare. It made me think about this. About us,” Charlotte said, “I don’t want it tomorrow- I can’t have it tomorrow, but somewhere down the line Sidney I’ve decided, I would like to have a baby. A whole family... and I’d kind of like to have that with you. How would you feel about that?”<br/>
“I um,” Sidney said, scratching his head, “I’m relieved.”<br/>
“Relieved there’s no baby?” Charlotte said, the disappointment evident in her voice.<br/>
“No. No,” Sidney rushed to say, “well yes I’m relieved there’s no baby right now because look at us- were two fumbling idiots who had to have another huge panic which I once again caused before we actually spoke, but no. I’m relieved you want it because I want that too.”<br/>
“A baby?” Charlotte said, looking at him with hopeful eyes.<br/>
“I want all of it Charlotte,” Sidney said, “I know it’s bit awkward given I’m technically still not divorced but I want everything with you. The marriage. The kids. The dream house with the white picket fence.”<br/>
“The fences might be awkward given we live in England and that’s not really a thing,” Charlotte said with a cheeky smirk.<br/>
“We can omit the fence,” Sidney smiled, pausing to think for a moment, “move in with me.”<br/>
“What?” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Move in with me,” Sidney repeated more confidently, “everything else can happen along the line- some of it in our control but also so much being out of our control. This we can control. I really love you Charlotte Heywood and I’d really like to wake up every morning with you beside me and fall asleep looking at that beautiful face.”<br/>
Charlotte bit her bottom lip as she thought for a moment, looking at Sidneys eyes and realising he was beginning to worry he had got it wrong. Charlotte smiled, “but where ever will I put all my shoes?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title:<br/>Queen- Somebody To Love</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. Half Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Tom I can see you there,” Sidney said. </p><p>Sidney walked into Tom office to see him crouched under his table- visibly trying to hide from him.  Sidney sucked his teeth as he walked over towards the desk. He undid the button of his blazer and rolled his eyes as Tom scurried out from under his desk with a paper in hand. </p><p>“Hiding?” Tom said, clearing his throat as he stood up, “I wasn’t hiding. I don’t need to hide.”<br/>“You’ve been avoiding me,” Sidney said, dropping down in a seat, “you skipped the meeting on Sunday. You didn’t come to the garage on Monday. Yesterday when I saw you, you practically ran to your car. Today you were hiding under a desk. Certainly sounds like your avoiding me Tom.” <br/>“I simply do not have the time Sidney,” Tom said, looking flustered, “I am a man of many things. Importing. Exporting.”<br/>“That makes no sense Tom,” Sidney said, rolling his eyes. </p><p>Resting his hand on the arm of the chair, Sidney tapped his fingers on the wood in the hope that Tom would speak first. It was no mystery why Sidney was looking for him- not since Sidney had left many strong voicemails and messages on Tom’s phone and had even asked Arthur to mention it to Tom when he saw him next (which Arthur had done- very loudly). When Tom decided to burying himself in some papers on his desk instead, Sidney sighed loudly- trying his best to keep his cool as he did. </p><p>“Dissolved the company then did you Tom,” Sidney said, roasting an eyebrow. <br/>“Sidney you just need to-“<br/>“Trust you?” Sidney scoffed, “I trust you as far as little Henry could throw you Tom.” <br/>“Now Sidney I think that’s a little unfair,” Tom said defensively, dropping the papers in his hand on the desk. <br/>“Your going to need to tell me everything Tom otherwise I’ve decided I’ll be taking legal action,” Sidney said, running his finger over his top lip. <br/>“You can’t take legal action against the company when it will cease to exist,” Tom said, slightly befuddled. <br/>“You, Tom,” Sidney said clearly, “I will be taking legal action against you Tom.”<br/>“Why?” Tom almost shouted. <br/>“Because your forged my signature on legal documents and made decisions without my consent Tom. Then you had the audacity to not so much as even give me a heads up about my own company,” Sidney said.<br/>“Our company,” Tom said, “we owned equal shares.” <br/>“And I’m learning to have regretted that decision deeply,” Sidney said through gritted teeth. </p><p>Tom slumped his shoulder disappointedly. He looked at Sidney as his fingers fiddled with the various papers in front of him. In Tom’s mind he had a plan. He had it all worked out. He just needed his brothers to trust him- like Diana did. This was proving to be more difficult than Tom had thought though. </p><p>“Sidney look, your going to have to just trust your big brother,” Tom said, “I legally can’t share all the details.” <br/>“Right Tom, you need to get talking before I take my left hand and swing it into your face,” Sidney said in irritation, “I was trying to be an adult about this but you don’t seem to understand that you’ve done something wrong- and illegal. You were so worried about the law then, were you? You need to explain it to me.”<br/>“And I will in due-“<br/>“Now Tom,” Sidney gritted, “And I won’t leave until you do.” </p><p>Tom pushed his tongue against his top lip as he thought. He was hesitant to divulge any information as the board and his investors had told him he couldn’t. The pieces had not yet all fallen into place. Tom didn’t really know what to do besides tell Sidney the only thing he did know he could- which was really not much at all. Looking at the reddening of Sidney’s face, Tom gulped as he felt his nerves unsettle. </p><p>“Well you know the financial position to the company,” Tom said, scratching his head, “I thought it better to dissolve than follow through with an investigation.” <br/>“The investigation was our way to release more funds to save the company from the dire financial position you put us in Tom,” Sidney said firmly. <br/>“Sidney, everything I have done, I have done for the benefit of this family. I cannot go into any more detail then the fact that dissolving the company was best,” Tom said, smiling a little as he was proud of the way he had phrased himself there. <br/>“My names on the papers to dissolve the company Tom. Frankly you’ll need to tell me more,” Sidney said, stiffening in his seat as his frustration grew. <br/>“Can’t Sidney. I gave someone my word,” Tom said, holding his hands up in defence. <br/>“Your words as good as a slap right now,” Sidney muttered. <br/>“Now Sidney, be reasonable. I’m your big brother. Do you not remembered how I helped save this company when you were struggling?” Tom said.<br/>“I also remember the two other times you put it into debt Tom,” Sidney said. <br/>“Water under the bridge,” Tom said. </p><p>Sidney scoffed as his fist clenched in his lap. Tom was driving him insane. Thinking of the problem, Sidney decided that maybe he could trick Tom into sharing more. When they were children, Sidney used to break down the problems to trick Tom into sharing more. Tom never caught on that he was sharing everything until it was too late. Sidney was hoping that little part of Tom still existed.</p><p>“Okay you don’t have to tell me why your dissolving the company. I was curious about these secret meetings though? You been having a lot of them. Why?” Sidney asked coyly. <br/>“I can’t go into detail about that,” Tom said quickly. <br/>“Thats not good enough Tom,” Sidney said.<br/>“Sidney, I signed confidentiality agreements and gave my word,” Tom said defensively. <br/>“Tom- you’ve dissolved the business. It’s on the verge of filing for bankruptcy. Confidentiality is out the door since you’ve illegally made shareholder decisions without the knowledge of shareholders,” Sidney exhaled sharply, “if you want me to have even an ounce of sympathy for you right now, then you need to tell me what’s going on.” </p><p>Tom carefully thought through his words. He had alway strived for Sidney’s approval. Even if Sidney was his younger brother, people had alway reminded Tom since they were kids that Sidney was the brains of the operation. When Sidney approved of things, Tom alway felt like he’d done something right. This was his one chance to show Sidney, hero could be the brains- he just couldn’t show to just yet. </p><p>“Okay Sidney. I can’t go into detail but I can confirm Eliza has helped me- financially,” Tom said proudly. <br/>“Financially how?” Sidney said warily.<br/>“She may have... purchase the company,” Tom said quietly.<br/>“What?” Sidney said, shifting forward in his seat. <br/>“Don’t worry Sidney,” Tom said calmly, “I’ve sold her my shares-“<br/>“She owns your shares?” Sidney said in shock. <br/>“No. Not mine... but mine and Diana’s,” Tom said, treading carefully as he saw Sidney’s face turn bright red, “we needed to recoup some losses. We’ve sold most of the assets to a shell company.” <br/>“You sold shares of the company to Eliza? You’ve dissolved the company? You’ve sold the assets?” Sidney was seething.<br/>“Now Sidney do not worry-“<br/>“The cars? What have you done with the cars?” Sidney said, frozen from fear.<br/>“Sold them,” Tom said, feeling himself get smaller as Sidney bore holes into him, “to the shell company.” <br/>“I’m going to kill you Tom,” Sidney said leaping towards his brother. </p><p>With quick reflexes, Tom pushes himself out of his chair and jumped to the other side of the desk as Sidney charged for him. They had fought a lot as children and although Sidney usually won, Tom had gotten better at reading and reacting to Sidney’s movements.  Moving from side to side as Sidney jilted around the other corner of the desk, Tom ran back round towards his chair- moving it to create an obstacle for Sidney as he charged around. </p><p>“Sidney you need to listen to me,” Tom said quickly, as he tried to look at him. <br/>“Time for talking is over Tom,” Sidney shouted as he pushed the chair aside, “I’m going to kill you.”<br/>“Sidney think of the children. Mary,” Tom said pleadingly as he moved away from the desk quickly and ran towards the fireplace. <br/>“I’ll send them your regards Tom,” Sidney said, as he followed suit.</p><p>The sound of the front door, drew both Tom and Sidney’s attention. They stood frozen in the room (Tom by the fire place and Sidney on the other side of the arm chair- the only barrier between them). The sound of children quickly filled the house and without a chance to fully react, Alicia and Henry came rushing into the room and straight for their fathers arms.</p><p>Tom bent down on his knees as his children wrapped around him and with a forced smile, he looked up warily at Sidney as his children talked over one another- eager to tell him about their days. </p><p>“Dad?” Alicia said as she leaned on Tom’s knee, “Why does uncle Siddy look so angry?” </p><p>Keeping his gaze locked on his brother, Tom watched as Sidney’s stiffened look only tightened. His lips remained tight- not even rising when Henry squeezed a hug around his leg. Carefully picking his words, Tom finally looked down at a smiling Alicia. </p><p>“Dad and Uncle Siddy just had a small disagreement but uncle Siddy is okay,” Tom said.<br/>“No he’s not Tom,” Sidney gritted. <br/>“Uncle Siddy is going to be fine,” Tom smiled, “why don’t you take your brother and get changed while I see uncle Sidney out.”</p><p>Reluctantly, Alicia got off of Tom’s Lao and grabbed Henry’s hand as they skipped out the room. The sound of their feet stomping on the stairs filled the office room and Tom waited until the muffled sound of their voices settled in before he spoke. </p><p>“Look Sidney, I dont want to discuss this around the children and Mary,” Tom said.<br/>“Why because then they’ll see how crap a brother you are as well?” Sidney said angrily. <br/>“Sidney please trust me,” Tom said calmly. </p><p>Sidney looked at Tom with an intense gaze. He didn’t get how Tom still didn’t understand the situation. How could Sidney trust him when Tom had given him nothing to trust in? No information. No shred of hope. Just secrets and more secrets. This was typical of Tom. Feeling like he was speaking to a brick wall and the sound of his nieces and nephews laughing drew Sidney back to reality. There was really no point in arguing with Tom right now. Sidney inhaled a deep breath before exhaling calmly. </p><p>“I’m not done with you Tom,” Sidney said. </p><p>Grabbing his keys off Tom’s table, Sidney stormed out of Trafalgar house- slamming the door so loudly behind him, that Tom felt the house shake a little. </p><p>***<br/>Driving straight home from Trafalgar house, Sidney was beyond furious with Tom. He imagined that a knock of some sense would have done him some good but Sidney didn’t dwell on it now. He was home. And the sight of Charlotte’s car in the drive meant she was as well.</p><p>Sidney dropped his keys in the bowl by the front door and hanging his suit jacket on the new coat rack, Sidney carefully manoeuvred  his way through the large cardboard boxes in the hallway. It had been three days since he’d asked Charlotte to move in. As she returned to work on Tuesday (only having Monday to pack), a lot of her things were now stacked in cardboard boxes waiting to reach their new spots. </p><p>Charlotte herself had moved in with Sidney on the same day he asked- the pair returning from SilverStone and just not wanting to leave each others side. Sidney had helped her get a few essentials (the things she hadn’t accidentally forgot at his already) and they’d stayed at his. To Sidney, it all felt natural and like it had meant to be. </p><p>Hearing a humming coming from the utility room adjacent to the kitchen, Sidney quietly made his way towards it. He was tired and seeing Charlotte was exactly what he wanted to do. </p><p>Stepping into the room, he wrapped his arms around her waist. </p><p>“Charlotte what are you doing in here?” Sidney asked as he walked into the small utility’s room and noticed Charlotte standing there in an oversized shirt. </p><p>Charlotte jumped slightly as his voice echoed in the small space. She wasn’t expecting him home yet. </p><p>“You scared me,” Charlotte said, catching her breath. <br/>“Sorry,” Sidney said, “what are you doing in here?” <br/>“What does one do with a washing machine full of dirty clothes and washing up powder in hand?” Charlotte’s laughed, as she dropped a scoop of fabric powder into the machine and pressed the start button. </p><p>Turning around, Charlotte rested her arms on Sidney’s shoulders and looked up to him. She smiled softly. </p><p>“Hi,” Charlotte said quietly. <br/>“Hi,” Sidney smiled tiredly. </p><p>Bending his head down to hers, Sidney slowly ran his lips over hers. Charlotte pushed her hand into his curls and pulled him closer as Sidney sensually stroked her mouth with his and felt Charlotte begin to hold onto him more tightly.</p><p>The feeling of his hard muscles under her fingers sent electric surges jolting through Charlotte’s body and made her legs weak. Sighing against his lips, Charlotte pulled Sidney’s lower lip between hers and kissed him deeply. </p><p>“You left work early,” Sidney said, reluctantly breaking their kiss, “I was looking for you.”<br/>“I was so excited to go back but with the whole ‘dissolving the company’ thing and everyone giving me the side eye expecting more, I couldn’t handle it,” Charlotte sighed, resting her head on his chest, “I went to visit Crowe.”<br/>“How is he?” Sidney asked, resting his chin on her head. <br/>“Good,” Charlotte smiled, “really good actually. He’s not awake but he’s responding to stimulus’s. The doctors are really hopeful.” <br/>“I’ll go and see him tomorrow,” Sidney said, “maybe I can vent to him about Tom- it would be pretty much the same as when I talk to him usually anyway.”<br/>“It went that well, huh?” Charlotte laughed.<br/>“I don’t like the person I am when I’m with Tom at the moment- I don’t want to talk about it,” Sidney said, nuzzling his head into Charlotte’s neck.  <br/>“You could help me move the some more boxes,” Charlotte suggested as he began to suck on her skin. <br/>“Nah, I need to blow off some steam,” Sidney said quickly. <br/>“What would you normally do?” Charlotte said breathlessly as she leaned into the washing machine. <br/>“I normally drive a car but I’d much rather drive...” Sidney said, looking at Charlotte with dark eyes, “you.” <br/>The feeling on the softly vibrating washing machine behind her and Sidney’s warm body pushing into her made Charlotte mind go completely blank. She whispered, “okay.” </p><p>Sidney sucked harder on Charlottes neck as he felt her racing pulse against his lips. Leaning back into the washing machine, Charlotte ran her fingers slowly down Sidney’s chest, towards his thighs. She moaned as Sidney bit softly on the skin of her neck. Charlotte moved her hand up his thigh, and could feel his muscles twitch under her touch. Gently pushing her hand over his hard bulge, Sidney cursed into her skin as Charlotte moved her hand over his trousers and loosened his belt. She slipped her hand in and gently stroked his hard cock with her fingers. The sound of his husky voice in her ear, turned Charlotte on even more. She wrapped her hand around him, and moved it up and down his whole length, slowly and gently. </p><p>“Charlotte,” Sidney moaned, his voice barely audible. </p><p>Without warning, Charlotte bent down to her knees and pulled Sidney’s trousers and boxers as she did. Sidney gripped onto the washing machine in front of him as Charlottes lips planted wet kisses on his hip bone and trailed inwards. His body was trembling as he felt the heat from her mouth against his bare skin.  </p><p>Sidney almost gasped when he felt Charlotte gently kiss the soft skin over his hard cock. Feeling his pulsating veins against her lips, she opened her mouth and licked her tongue over his length. Sidney tightened his grip on the washing machine, his knees weak, as he moaned her name out loud. Charlotte’s hot tongue sent electric impulses all over his body and Sidney struggled to hold back. Charlotte slowly moved her tongue along his length. When she reached his sensitive tip, her wet tongue circled around it. Sidney pressed his lips together as he tried to hold in his moan as Charlotte began to gently suck him into her mouth. Charlotte gripped his shaft with one hand and sucked as she heard him say her name over and over again desperately. </p><p>The overwhelming arosual he felt was unbearable and as Sidney felt the waves of a climax hit him, he moved his hands to grip Charlottes hair and gently pulled her up to him. Desperately, he licked his tongue over her lips before entering her mouth. He kissed her deeply, slowly and with need. </p><p>Wrapping his hands around her thighs, Sidney lifted Charlotte and sat her on top of the washing machine. Her legs tightened around his waist as he did. Sidney trailed his fingers over the outside of her thighs, up the inside until he reached her underwear. Charlotte leaned her head back as she closed her eyes and let her twitching skin give in to him. Spreading her legs open as Sidney trailed kisses along her neck, she groaned when Sidney slipped his fingers under her lace underwear and gently stroked her folds. Charlottes moans were silenced by the sound of the washing machine as Sidney moved his fingers more eagerly. </p><p>Leaning his forehead onto hers, Sidney’s tongue entered Charlottes open mouth as he slowly took off her underwear. Charlotte moaned into his lips as she lifted her feet up and shook her underwear off completely.  Sidney’s hand immediately slide under her shirt and went back to her sensitive area. His fingers moved up and down her wet slit gently. </p><p>As Sidney moved his hands around her, Charlotte’s trembling fingers unbuttoned his crisp white shirt. Sidney’s breath tickled her face as her lips ran over his cheek and along the curve of his neck. As she undid his buttons, Charlotte slid her fingers over his bare chest until she could rest them in his navel. Slowly, Charlotte moved her head onto his bare chest and pressed her lips over his tight muscles. </p><p>Pushing his fingers through her hair, Sidney pulled Charlottes head up to meet his lips and pressed hard against her lips. Breathlessly, his tongue searched her mouth as his finger trailed from her head to her shirt. Sidney quickly undid the buttons of Charlotte shirt. His thumbs gripped under her bare breasts as he gently massaged them. His wet lips trailed down her neck towards her breasts and gently, Sidney kissed the valley of her breasts. </p><p>Charlotte slipped her hands over his shoulders and pulled Sidney closer to her. Spreading her legs, she pulled Sidney so that the tip of his hard cock was at her entrance. </p><p>She wanted him now. </p><p>With a single hard thrust, Charlotte dug her hands into Sidney’s back as she screamed his name. She liked the way his muscles moved under his skin as Sidney thrusted his hard cock, in her wet warmth over again- hitting the right spot. </p><p>Moaning out loud, Sidney’s lips found Charlottes and he kissed her deeply. As Sidney thrust into her again, Charlotte’s walls tightened against him as she arched her back and groaned. Sidney’s hand reached for charlottes breast as he drove deeper inside of her. </p><p>Moving in rhythm, they were both hard and demanding. Charlotte screamed Sidney’s name into the his neck as she felt her walls close around him and gave in to the waves of her pleasure. Sidney’s came undone quickly after her- his voice suddenly gone as he breathlessly sinked into her neck. </p><p>For a few moments the sound of their deep breaths was drowned out by the sound of the washing machine as they both stayed still- gathering their energy. Slowly, Sidney picked up his boxers from the floor and Charlotte began to do up the buttons of her shirt. </p><p>“I do actually need help with boxes,” Charlotte smiled.<br/>“I’m more than happy to oblige you Miss Heywood, but I think perhaps I need a shower first,” Sidney smirked. <br/>“You do smell,” Charlotte laughed softly. <br/>“I could do with some help,” Sidney grinned.<br/>“Why? Did you forget where the soap was?” Charlotte said with a raised eyebrow. <br/>“Something like that,” Sidney smiled. <br/>“Very well,” Charlotte sighed dramatically, “the boxes can wait. It would be rude to help those in need.” <br/>“Yes,” Sidney said as he pulled Charlotte up into his arms- her legs wrapping around his waist, “and I have many needs.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As alway, thank you all so much for the comments and lovely feedback! I really appreciate it :)</p><p>Title:<br/>Banners- Half Light</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. Breathe Life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So where did Tom say he was?” Charlotte asked in confusion as she looked out the passenger window.<br/>
“He said nothing. Mary said he’d taken the kids out and when I suggested that I wait for him, Tom seemed to insist they just wouldn’t be back in time,” Sidney gritted as they drove down the motorway, “Not that I know what he was saying because he relayed everything through Mary on the phone.”<br/>
“So he’s still avoiding you?” Charlotte asked.<br/>
“Yep. Still avoiding me. Still not answering any calls. Still not answering any questions. Leroy said there’s a man coming to collect the 54 on Tuesday- Crowe is going to be pissed when he wakes up and finds out we’ve lost his car,” Sidney said angrily.<br/>
“You didn’t lose anything Sidney,” Charlotte said reassuringly, resting her hand on Sidney’s shoulder.<br/>
“It’s my fault for taking my eyes off the ball. I should have been watching Tom better,” Sidney sighed, “and worst of all, I really want to take legal action against him because of what he’s done- maybe save something, but I can’t... because he’s my brother and my father always taught us to value family above everything else. Family will always be there for you.” </p><p>Sidney exhaled in frustration. He tried to focus on the road ahead of him as they began to narrow and they passed road sign after road sign. However, no matter how much Sidney tried to focus on the road, his mind moved from Tom and his family to Charlotte and hers. </p><p>To say he was nervous to officially meet the Heywoods, would have been an understatement. He way beyond nervous to start on the right footing. He wanted them to know how serious he was about Charlotte and prove to them that he was the right guy for her. With everything already upside down in his life, he needed one thing to go right- and he wanted it to be this thing. </p><p>“What if they don’t like me?” Sidney said nervously, tightening his hand around the steering wheel of his Aston Martin.<br/>
“They wouldn’t have invited you for Sunday lunch if they didn’t like you Sidney,” Charlotte said, resting her hand on his thigh reassuringly, “honestly, mum and dad are going to love you.”<br/>
“Are you overcompensating? Does you think your parents are really going to hate me?" Sidney said, his mind flooding with a number of thoughts.<br/>
“No Sidney,” Charlotte laughed, “I’m saying this because I really think they’ll like you. I’ve only told them a little bit about you- the core essentials of course, but honestly, they’ve been really positive about it. You just need to be yourself.”<br/>
"Who am I though?” Sidney said. He seemed to have forgotten who he was from the moment he had stepped out of the house.<br/>
“Your acting like you’ve never met your girlfriends parents before Sidney,” Charlotte giggled in the passenger seat.<br/>
“That’s because I’ve never met my girlfriends parents before,” Sidney said.<br/>
“What?” Charlotte said, shocked, “but... how?”<br/>
“I’ve not had that many,” Sidney said seriously, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, “It was only ever.... Eliza who I was official with and I knew her parents from when I was a kid- so not really a real thing.”<br/>
“I’m actually shocked,” Charlotte said, smiling softly.<br/>
“Your shock is helping me in no way Charlotte,” Sidney said.<br/>
“You’ll be fine. Nothing they say is going to make me dump you- find comfort in that,” Charlotte laughed, “I’m in love with you so it’s been occurring to me that I’m going to be hanging out with you, for the rest of my whole life.” </p><p>Sidney said nothing as he tried to focus on the winding country roads near Willingden. The journey from Sanditon was only thirty minutes but with so many small roads- not ideal for sports cars, Sidney was trying to focus. As he did, Charlotte made herself busy. She slowly slid her hand over his thigh- fully aware of how nervous Sunday lunch was making him and only finding Sidney more adorable for it. Her fingers edged higher and higher along his trousers and slowly slid to the inside of his thigh. She could feel his muscles twitching under her touch and smirked as she looked out the window. </p><p>“I’m trying to concentrate,” Sidney said, tightening his hands around the steering wheel.<br/>
“I’m not doing anything,” Charlotte said, pressing her lips together as she tried to hold in her laugh. </p><p>Charlotte moved her fingers higher and reached the spot she was looking for. Running her hand over him, she could feel how incredibly hard Sidney was- his trousers stretching over the bulge of his hard cock. </p><p>Sidney was barely able to concentrate on the winding roads as he both enjoyed and cursed Charlotte’s hand for being there. Slowly, Charlotte used her fingers to stroke his hard bulge- feeling him clearly through the fabric of his trousers. Unable to resist any longer, she turned to look at him and, with both hands, she loosened his belt. She gasped when she put her hand into his trousers and Sidney swerved the car slightly- unable to concentrate on the road. </p><p>“Your going to kill us,” Sidney moaned.<br/>
“Pull into the next road,” Charlotte said firmly as she pulled down the zip of his trousers.<br/>
“It’s a bit open here Charlotte,” Sidney said, breathless as her fingers moved under his boxers.<br/>
“It’s the beginning of the Heywood Farm,” Charlotte smiled, “pretty private around this time if you go behind the tree.” </p><p>Sidney put his foot down on the accelerator as Charlotte moved her hand slowly along his hard cock. He tried not moan as she massaged his length but it was to no avail. Quickly, he pulled up behind the first tree he saw and turned off the engine. </p><p>Pushing back the driver seat, Sidney gripped Charlotte’s thighs and pulled her towards him. His lips crashed hungrily onto hers as Charlotte hiked up her mid length dress and rested her knees on either side of Sidney’s hips. Her hands gripped the curls of his hair as she sucked on his lower lip- deepening their kiss. </p><p>As Charlotte slid her tongue into his mouth, Sidney trailed his hands under her chiffon dress and along her bare thighs. His fingers burned as he slowly trailed his fingers up her skin.</p><p>The feeling of his hands on her bare skin, caused Charlotte to moan into Sidney’s mouth. She moved her hips into his and could hear him hiss as his hands felt her wetness and warmth. Sidney smirked as Charlotte wrapped her tongue around his and sucked on his mouth- she seemed to be soaking wet. Her underwear seemed to be so thin that it felt like there was nothing there at all. Slipping his fingers under her underwear and towards her burning folds, Charlotte’s eyes closed and her legs spread even more by themselves as she felt her body yearn for him. </p><p>“Sidney,” Charlotte said, her voice barely audible as Sidney’s fingers stroked her folds. </p><p>Moving his fingers away from her entrance, Sidney gripped Charlotte’s hips with both his hands. He slipped his thumbs under the thin band of her underwear and gently pulled them down. </p><p>Charlotte opened her eyes to see Sidney’s face in front of hers. Their eyes locked onto each other’s intensely. As Sidney slid her underwear down her thighs, Charlotte couldn’t resist him and lifted her ass to help Sidney slide her underwear to her ankles. She slipped her hand under Sidney’s t-shirt and pressed her flat hands against his tight muscles. </p><p>Sidney pushed his lips onto Charlotte’s and dipped his tongue into her open mouth. Their kiss was hungry and full of desire. Charlotte moaned into his mouth as Sidney wrapped his arm around her waist and took her underwear off completely. Absently, he threw the thin fabric onto the ground of his car and Charlotte moved her hand to his boxers. Eagerly, Charlotte pulled down his boxers and pulled his full length out. </p><p>Panting, Sidney gripped Charlotte’s thighs more tightly as he positioned her on top of him. Charlotte happily moved to straddle him and as she felt the tip of his hard cock at her sensitive entrance she breathlessly kissed him. </p><p>Slowly, Sidney entered her and Charlotte moaned into his mouth as her hands dug into Sidney’s hair and pulled his head closer to hers- Charlotte kissing him more deeply and passionately. </p><p>Sidney’s own fingers wrapped around Charlotte’s waist as he deliberately took his time with his movements. With slow, deep thrusts, he hit deep inside Charlotte again and again, bringing them both towards the edge. Electric surges impulsed between their breathless bodies as Charlotte felt her walls tighten around him. </p><p>As the waves of her climax began to take over, Charlotte had to loosen her lips from his and arched her back as she moaned out loud in the car. Sidney continued to move slowly within her warm, tight walls as he breathlessly felt himself coming undone. With a deep thrust, Charlotte felt herself climaxing and closed her eyes from pleasure. Moaning her name, Sidney’s body twitched as he felt himself pour inside of her. He breathlessly held her in his arms as their chests heaved and they caught their senses. </p><p>Charlotte was the first to move- sliding onto the passenger seat and fixing her hair. They were now officially late to lunch and Charlotte already knew she would be blaming the non-existent traffic. Looking around the car, she snatched her under wear off the ground from near Sidney’s foot as he fixed his own clothes (pulling up his zipper and doing up his belt). </p><p>As Charlotte checked her appearance in the mirror, Sidney turned the ignition on and began to move along the long path leading to Heywood house. He smiled as he did- his nerves better settled but still, very much there. </p><p>“Do you think your dad knows I’m having sex with his daughter? Like if I look him in the eyes, do you think he’ll know and judge me for it? Surely he must know. Maybe I should casually apologise. "Sorry, I had sex with your daughter, sir.” Should I lead with that?” Sidney asked, half joking as they edged closer to the house.<br/>
“Don’t lead with that,” Charlotte said seriously, fixing the hem of her dress, “actually don’t even bring up sex. At all. Ever.”<br/>
“Yes boss,” Sidney laughed- his first relaxed laugh of the day.<br/>
“Also, I just did that to calm you down,” Charlotte said as she reapplied her nude lipstick.<br/>
“Can I have another panic now then?” Sidney said, moving his hand to rest on her thigh,”I could do with some more calming.”<br/>
“Nope- were late,” Charlotte said quickly, hitting his hand away as she smiled.<br/>
“Fine,” Sidney said dramatically, clearing his throat, “did I put the gifts in the boot before we left?”<br/>
“You brought gifts?” Charlotte said.<br/>
“Yeah. I wanted to make a good, proper first impression,” Sidney said seriously, as they pulled in front of Heywood house.<br/>
“I’m actually really impressed,” Charlotte said proudly, “mum and dad are going to love you. I never had a boyfriend bring them presents before- I mean their kids don’t even bring them presents.”</p><p>Pulling up the handbrake as they stopped in front of the large, old house, Sidney nervously turned off the engine. He could feel his hands shaking as he pulled out the key- entirely unsure if Charlotte’s parents would even approve of him. Charlotte, noticing the shaking of Sidney’s leg, stretched out her hand and turned his face to look at hers. </p><p>“I love you,” Charlotte said, “nothings changing that.”</p><p>She leaned over and planted a deep kiss on his lips. Sidney suddenly felt very conscious- what if her parents were watching them? Yes they were adults, but would they approve of such public displays of affection. As Charlotte pulled back and opened her door to get out, Sidney exhaled loudly before he plastered a nervous smile on his face. </p><p>Stepping out of the car, Sidney took in Heywood house properly for the first time. It wasn’t a grand house. The bricks were weathered. The windows were visibly coming away from the latches. The house was in need of some evident repairs but Sidney liked it. It felt lived in. Like if the walls could talk, they would share tales of adventure, happiness and laughter. Much like his house did before his father passed away. </p><p>Shaking the tug on his heart, Sidney got the bouquet of flowers and whiskey bottle out of the boot of the car and dragged his feet in the gravel towards the front door. Charlotte wrapped her arm around his tightly in the hope of reassuring him but Sidney was too nervous to even notice her beside him.</p><p>He already felt like this was going to be a hard afternoon and no words had yet been exchanged. </p><p>The sound of the doorbell echoed through the surrounding fields and as the door opened, the pair were greeted by Charlotte’s beaming mother. </p><p>“Oh your finally here,” Mrs Heywood said excitedly as she wrapped Charlotte in a tight hug, “I was wondering where you’d gotten to.”<br/>
“Traffic was crazy Mum,” Charlotte smiled as she stepped back near Sidney again, “mum this is Sidney. Sidney this is my mum.”<br/>
“Pleasure to meet you Sidney,” Mrs Heywood said as she gave him a hug. </p><p>As Sidney returned Mrs Heywoods hug his mind was plagued with thoughts. He wondered- how long was he actually supposed to hug Charlotte’s mother? A lingering hug would be creepy but would a brief hug be too impersonal?</p><p>“Pleasure to meet you Mrs Heywood,” Sidney said as Mrs Heywood pulled away first. Sidney held out the flowers to her, “these are for you.”<br/>
“Oh, how kind of you dear,” Mrs Heywood said as she admired the bouquet- a mix of roses and lilies, “why don’t you two go inside and meet your father. I’ll put these in some water.” </p><p>Charlotte weaved her fingers through Sidney’s as she led him into the living room where he father was reading a book. Nervously, Sidney stood behind Charlotte as Mr Heywood put down his reading glasses and stood up. </p><p>“Charlotte your here,” Mr Heywood said softly as he hugged her.<br/>
“Yeah, sorry were late,” Charlotte said quietly as she hugged her father back just as tightly.<br/>
“Sidney,” Mr Heywood said, releasing Charlotte and holding out his hand to Sidney, “good to see you again.”<br/>
“Like wise Mr Heywood,” Sidney said. </p><p>Mentally, Sidney told himself to give Mr Heywood  a firm handshake, but not so firm that he knew Sidney was deliberately trying to give a firm handshake. As they shook hands- Sidney giving Mr Heywood the hardest, most vigorous handshake possible, Sidney smiled. He thought to himself that no one would ever speak of this moment, but Mr Heywood would be sufficiently weirded out by it.</p><p>Pulling back his hand, Sidney held out the bottle of whiskey and cleared his throat, “this is for you Mr Heywood. Thank you so much for inviting us to Sunday lunch.”<br/>
“Thank you,” Mr Heywood said, inspecting the bottle of whiskey in his hands. </p><p>Mrs Heywood came into the room with the flowers perfectly arranged in a vase. Sidney stood there feeling awkward as Charlotte made small talk with her parents. Settling into the sofa, Sidney looked around the room. He took in the display cabinet of royal commemorative and antique plates that were proudly stood up. He looked at the peeling wall paper which was adorned with old wooden frames and canvas art work. Sidney looked at the vast bookshelf of worn books on the back wall- framing the window, and just imagined Charlotte sitting there for hours as a child. </p><p>“And how are you doing Sidney?” Mrs Heywood asked politely.<br/>
“I’m very well thank you. You have a lovely home Mrs Heywood,” Sidney said.<br/>
“Thank you,” Mrs Heywood smiled, “please call me Anne.”<br/>
“Mr Heywood, thank you so much again for formally inviting us to Sunday roast- Charlotte and I have been looking forward to it all week,” Sidney said.<br/>
“Thank you Sidney,” Mr Heywood said firmly, “and you can call me Mr Heywood.”<br/>
“Yes sir,” Sidney mumbled. </p><p>Awkwardly, Sidney made small talk with Mr Heywood as Charlotte helped her mother set the table. There was nothing substantial about their talk- more moments of silence than actual words. </p><p>As the party moved from the living room to the dinning room, Sidney began to relax as conversation flowed more easily. Sidney had began to recall an anecdote about going camping as a child when Charlotte brought up a family camping experience on the farm, but as he watched everyone’s eyes around the table almost freeze, Sidney quickly decided to abort the topic and awkwardly trailed off when he realised the Heywoods would have found his tale of outdoor weirdness less than amusing. </p><p>On the whole, once Sidney had settled into the general rhythm of the Heywoods style, he found Sunday lunch to have gone fairly well. He managed to open up and although he sometimes focused too much on laughing at everything or making eye contact with both of Charlotte’s parents at the same time (whilst also trying to act like a normal human being), Sidney had managed to relax enough to actually enjoy himself. </p><p>Watching Charlotte interact with her parents and the warmness with which Mrs Heywood (and eventually Mr Heywood) interacted with him, reminded Sidney so much of his own childhood and his own parents. They had dinner around the dinning table every evening as a family. Even when they were exhausted, the table would be filled with tales of their days, arguments between Sidney, Diana and Tom as they fought for the extra chicken piece or extra slice of cake and there was always a general state of relaxation as their parents looked down at them and smiled. </p><p>Sidney missed that a lot. Nothing had ever gone back to normal after his father had died. </p><p>The sound of silver wear on empty plates, drew lunch to a close. Mr Heywood wiped his mouth with his napkin and pushed his chair back- the sound of wood scraping wood filling the room. </p><p>“Sidney join me for a walk,” Mr Heywood said.<br/>
“I still have desert,” Mrs Heywood said.<br/>
“It will just be a short walk. Nothing to worry about- we’ll be back by the time your ready to pull the crumble out of the oven,” Mr Heywood said, “come on Sidney.” </p><p>His shoulders sat up more firmly as Sidney felt his body stiffen. Lunch seemed to have gone alright but Sidney certainly felt like he wasn’t ready to go solo with Mr Heywood. Not yet. He needed Charlotte there as his buffer- to stop him from saying anything too stupid or speaking on something too controversial. </p><p>Turning his head, Sidney looked at a tight lipped Charlotte warily before pushing his own chair back and almost running to catch up with Mr Heywood- who was already out the door and calling his name impatiently. </p><p>“So tell me about yourself Sidney,” Mr Heywood said as he fixed his hat.<br/>
“I’m an open book Mr Heywood,” Sidney said, doing up the zip of his coat and shoving his hands in his pocket, “where do you want me to start?”<br/>
“You work in formula one,” Mr Heywood said.<br/>
“Yes... well I used to it appears,” Sidney said, lowering his voice as he thought of Tom and the disaster he had made of the company.<br/>
“Used to?” Mr Heywood asked.<br/>
“We used to own the Parker One company. My older brother Tom recently decided... he sold it,” Sidney said, looking down at the ground as they walked.<br/>
“That’s a pity. Charlotte must have told you that I’ve always been keen on the sport,” Mr Heywood smiled.<br/>
“She mentioned it,” Sidney said, “why did you never go into it yourself Mr Heywood?”<br/>
“I’m a farmer. So was my father before that and his father before that. Not my place to move away. My son is currently in Italy - he’s invested in a vineyard there, but in a few years he’ll be back carrying on the family tradition,” Mr Heywood said.<br/>
“I see,” Sidney said, “well I’m very fortunate that you let Charlotte move away from the farming and tinker in cars- she’s our best engineer.”<br/>
“I don’t think I could have stopped her even if I tried,” Mr Heywood laughed, “She’s headstrong- though I’m sure you already know that Sidney.” </p><p>Glancing up at Mr Heywood, Sidney smiled. He was very aware of just how headstrong Charlotte could be and it was one of the many things he loved about her. </p><p>As they walked along the path of the farm, Sidney felt the cool air hit him in the face as the sound of squeaking chickens rung loudly when they walked past the large roost. There was a soft mist settling in the air as the crisp autumn leaves crunched under foot. </p><p>“That 66 you were driving last Saturday- a fine piece of car,” Mr Heywood said.<br/>
“Thank you. Charlotte had worked on it originally- a lot of the redesign was from her blueprints,” Sidney said.<br/>
“I was a little disappointed not to see the 22 on the track,” Mr Heywood said, “it’s not been out on the track for a few years now. I liked the 54 from last season. I loved the 66- it is a beauty, but the 22 is a piece of art.”</p><p>Sidney turned and smiled at Mr Heywood. The 22 meant so much to him- the last piece of material that breathed his father from the inside out. When Sidney remembered the car, his father came into his mind like flashbacks and echoes. He was devastated that Tom had sold it- the thought of it belonging to Eliza was one that boiled anger deep inside him, but what could he do? He could only appreciate what it had represented- his fathers faith, trust and love. No one could take that away from him. </p><p>“Thank you for saying that,” Sidney said happily, “the 22 has been a labour of love. The core of the car is still very much all my father- his design, his specs, his idea. I’ve redone some of the engine and changed some things to meet the current guidelines but the 22 is my fathers car. I’m simply taking good care of it.”<br/>
“Your father has impeccable taste Sidney,” Mr Heywood said, “I would love to see the 22 if I’m ever down in Sanditon. Would that be possible?”<br/>
Sidney turned to look back at the ground, “it would be my pleasure... but I’m not entirely sure we own it anymore,” Sidney said, his disappointment clearly evident.<br/>
“How can you not be sure?” Mr Heywood asked.<br/>
“The terms of my brothers sale have not yet been made clear to me, sir,” Sidney said awkwardly.<br/>
“And he’d have sold your fathers car?” Mr Heywood asked.<br/>
“Unfortunately...yes,” Sidney said quietly.<br/>
“And that doesn’t bother you?” Mr Heywood said.<br/>
“It does sir but... I’ve thought about it and as much as I love that car and would have fought my brother for it if I could, my father ingrained a sense of family camaraderie in us. Material things will come and go and as important as those material parts of the 22 are to me, I have to remember that the memory of my father and my family cannot be sold, brought or bartered. No one can take the memories of that car in the palm of my fathers hands away from me,” Sidney said solemnly.  </p><p>Mr Heywood nodded his head slowly, before he turned to look at his feet kicking the autumn leaves. He did not approve of Tom Parker’s decision to sell a business- much less consult with his brother, and he empathised with Sidney over the plight of losing his fathers car, but it was not Mr Heywoods place to comment any further on the topic. For a few moments they walked in silence as the Heywood house got further away from them. </p><p>“What are your intentions with my daughter then?” Mr Heywood said casually.<br/>
“Intentions?” Sidney asked.<br/>
“I don’t really know much about you Sidney,” Mr Heywood said, “and my daughter is very head strong but her... personal life choices have sometimes left much to be desired- especially since the first sentence out of her mouth with any reference to you involved the worlds ‘I’m going to kill my boyfriend’. You can understand my reservation.”<br/>
Sidney chocked on a laugh, “ask me anything you want to know.”<br/>
“Have your parents met Charlotte?” Mr Heywood asked.<br/>
“Oh um,” Sidney said uncomfortably, “they... they haven’t. They both passed away many years ago now. It’s juts my three siblings and me.”<br/>
“Oh,” Mr Heywood cleared his throat, “right. Any skeletons in the closet before I get a security check done?”<br/>
Sidney laughed but straightened up when he saw Mr Heywood staring at him with a straight face, “none that should be a problem.”<br/>
“Speak now or forever hold your peace Mr Parker,” Mr Heywood said, raising an eyebrow in Sidney’s direction.<br/>
Sidney thought for a moment, “You already know the Parker Team has been sold- some bad investment decisions from my brother. I had a minor run in with the law when I was 22 and out of university,” Sidney said calmly, “and my divorce is being finalised tomorrow.”<br/>
“Divorce?” Mr Heywood said, almost choking on the word.<br/>
“Did Charlotte not mention it?” Sidney said, freezing on the spot and feeling like he had put his foot in his mouth.<br/>
“No,” Mr Heywood said tightly, “must have slipped her mind.”</p><p>Looking at the stiffened up man, Sidney paused to think. He could skip over this detail and leave Mr Heywoods mind to wonder or he could be honest and justify his actions (not that he needed to justify them). Knowing how well hiding secrets had been for him recently, Sidney decided to straighten up his shoulders, raise his head and explain. </p><p>“It’s been almost two years since we separate and I’ve been trying to get a divorce. It’s been dragging out but it’s being finalised,” Sidney clarified.<br/>
“Can I ask why you... separated from your first wife?” Mr Heywood asked awkwardly.<br/>
Sidney cleared his throat, “it’s a fair question. We were two young kids, who had no business being married. I thought she was the one but she was only ever invested in my name and what it could bring. I didn’t enjoy being a trophy husband for her.”<br/>
“Right,” Mr Heywood said slowly, pulling at the word as if it were leaving a bad taste in his mouth.<br/>
“Does it bother you? That I’m divorced?” Sidney said, his nerves tying knots in his stomach again.<br/>
“It’s just not done around here,” Mr Heywood said, “I’m a fairly traditional man,” Mr Heywood stopped walking and looked at Sidney curiously for a moment, “and how do I know that you won’t see Charlotte in the same light? That you won’t one day wake up and think you two were both young kids with no business being together? That you won’t up and leave her?”<br/>
Sidney thought for a moment, “can anyone guarantee that? Really?” </p><p>Mr Heywood looked at him disapprovingly and began to walk off. Sidney stood there just thinking. He could tell things were going south and now, he really did feel like he had nothing to lose. </p><p>“I love your daughter Mr Heywood. She draws me towards her in the way the seashore seduce the waves- slowly and then all at once. In every crowded room, I alway look for your daughter because I know once I’ve seen her, my racing heart will settle and ease because thats who your daughter is- she’s radiates warmth, comfort and ease. But you already know that,” Sidney smiled, “I cannot guarantee that she won’t call you on days and cry because I did something to upset her or that she won’t say she is going to try and kill me because I did something wrong.”<br/>
“Your not selling yourself Mr Parker,” Mr Heywood said.<br/>
“Maybe I’m not,” Sidney laughed quietly, “What I can guarantee is that I love her. I respect her. And I will try my best to make her happy and appreciated. There will be trying days but on those days I will be by her side and I will try to draw stars around her scars and let her shine like the bright light that she is.”<br/>
“Sidney-“<br/>
“I have a past Mr Heywood. I’m 35 years old and yet there are days I look at what I’ve been through and think I have lived well beyond my years. My heart has been borrowed and bruised... and there are days I’ve felt like an old jumper dashed under a bed- forgotten. But one thing that I think you should know about me is that I’ve alway kept going....because if I keep on regretting every single thing that I have done, I guess I will be sad for the rest of my life. And I’d like not to be sad. And I’m not sad when I have Charlotte with me. She is a beacon of light in a sea of darkness, but I think you already knew that as well,” Sidney smiled. Noticing the tightness of Mr Heywoods face, Sidney tried to lighten the mood, “and at least I’m not a drug addict.”<br/>
Mr Heywood open his mouth to speak but shut it again as he thought. Clearing his throat, he said, “we’d better get back before they wonder where we’ve gone.” </p><p>The walk back to the house was quick and quiet. Mr Heywood keep at a fair distance ahead of Sidney, not once looking back over his shoulder to check he was keeping up with him. Sidney kept the space between them- unable to get a clear read on Mr Heywood and thinking it was safer to stay away than risk escalating the situation. </p><p>As they entered the house, Sidney cautiously followed behind Mr Heywood, his lips pressed together nervously as Mrs Heywood and Charlotte looked at the two of them with odd expressions.</p><p>“Charlotte, my office please,” Mr Heywood said loudly. He didn’t bother to look back. </p><p>Pushing her seat back swiftly, Charlotte looked at Sidney with a raised eyebrow. He was just stood in the room, looking dumbfound. </p><p>She whispered, “what did you say?”<br/>
“Nothing,” Sidney said defensively, “I was just honest.”<br/>
“Oh god were you as honest as you were in the car,” Charlotte said, slumping her shoulders, “you brought up the sex didn’t you?”<br/>
“No,” Sidney said quickly, “I may have over shared some feelings but he caught me off guard. And I was nervous.”<br/>
“Charlotte,” Mr Heywood called.<br/>
“Coming dad,” Charlotte shouted back.<br/>
“Should I run?” Sidney said nervously.<br/>
“Stay put,” Charlotte said, sighing as she anxiously made her way into her fathers office. </p><p>Charlotte reluctantly made her way into her fathers office. She was now feeling the nerves herself. Things had been going so well but Charlotte knew from all her years living at Heywood house, that if Mr Heywood called you to the office... it generally wasn’t good news. What could Sidney have possibly said in twenty minutes that could have stirred such a reaction? Charlottes stomach tightened just thinking about it. </p><p>“Dad,” Charlotte said quietly.<br/>
“Shut the door,” Mr Heywood said as he poured himself a port and sat in his chair.<br/>
“What happened dad?” Charlotte said, dropping in a chair by the door.<br/>
“He’s not a drug addict,” Mr Heywood said, smiling tightly at her.<br/>
Charlotte scrunched her eyebrows as the dread kicked in, “did he say that?”<br/>
“He did,” Mr Heywood smiled, “I think he’s also looking for a job now which means... your looking for a job now. Why didn’t you tell me you were dating someone unemployed?”<br/>
“Nothings finalised yet Dad,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“It all sounds like a done deal to me,” Mr Heywood said as he took a sip of his port, “Are you sure about this Charlotte?”<br/>
“Yes dad,” Charlotte said firmly, “he was just nervous. I promise he’s not usually that stupid with his words. He actually very clever and a great conversationalist and funny and witty and kind.”</p><p>Mr Heywood stared blankly at his bookshelf as Charlotte looked at him. She knew her father well enough to know he was thinking about how to deliver his next sentence and there was nothing Charlotte would be able to change his mind now.  She just had to wait. </p><p>“I actually did like him,” Mr Heywood smiled, “maybe it’s because Connor stopped by yesterday and he just makes me infuriatingly angry.”<br/>
“And how is Connor?” Charlotte said, smiling as she remembered the last time her father saw Connor. </p><p>It had been shortly after they had broken up. Connor tried to come to the house to explain what had happened as Charlotte packed up the last of her things before her short drive to Sanditon. Connor kept knocking on the front door since no one would open it for him. After ten minutes of persistent knocking, Mr Heywood stood up, when to his hunting cupboard, pulled out a gun and pointed it at Connor as the door opened. Charlotte was both mortified and bursting to laugh at the encounter. </p><p>“He’s fine,” Mr Heywood gritted, “still a child having a child.”<br/>
“I’m happy for him dad. I really am,” Charlotte said, “it’s hard to be annoyed when your just... so happy.”<br/>
“I like Sidney,” Mr Heywood said clearly, putting his port on the table.<br/>
“Really?” Charlotte said with a smile.<br/>
“Very much so. I’m gutted to hear about that 22 though,” Mr Heywood said, “He should put up more of a fight for it.”<br/>
“He brought that up?” Charlotte asked curiously.<br/>
“Yes. Sounded sad about it himself. I would be too if my idiot brother sold my father’s car,” Mr Heywood said.<br/>
“Yeah. I think he’s still processing all that,” Charlotte said quietly.<br/>
“Why didn’t you mention he was getting divorced?” Mr Heywood asked, raising his eyes at his daughter.<br/>
Charlotte looked down at her hands in her lap, “I know how you think. If I had told you about it, it would have been building something up, just for it to fall apart. I wanted you to get to know him before you made any assumptions.”<br/>
“It was crafty... but I understand,” Mr Heywood said, “are you sure though? You were going to kill him last week.”<br/>
Charlotte laughed softly, “I’m sure dad. He’s like... he take up so much of my time but it’s never enough. He likes me for me. When mum first told me about you, she said she had this thing that she remembered. That your very normal blue eyes felt like a whole shade of blue she’d never seen before. It’s never been like that with anyone else dad. But with Sidney, sometimes I’m just like... I’m seeing in all these colours when I’m soaking in his sun... we have this endless love that’s only really just begun.”<br/>
“You two speak in a lot of metaphors,” Mr Heywood said, rolling his eyes.<br/>
“I think we’ve rubbed off on each other dad,” Charlotte giggled, “I love him.”<br/>
“Well, if you would like to go and see him, you can tell him I approve. He looked like he might have a heart attack when I called you in here,” Mr Heywood smiled. </p><p>Beaming, Charlotte jumped out of her chair and quickly moved to the other side of her fathers desk. She hugged him tightly and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek. She would have never given Sidney up if her parents hadn’t liked him- it was her life and her decision, but the weight she felt being lifted when her father said he did approve, was something Charlotte hadn’t expected. </p><p>“Where’s Sidney Mum?” Charlotte asked as she walked into the dining room.<br/>
“Outside by the tree,” Mrs Heywood said, “he looked like he was about to pass out.” </p><p>Charlotte rushed to walk out of the house and saw Sidney looking out in the field. He was leaning against a tree. Walking up behind him, Charlotte wrapped her arms around his waist- Sidney jumped slightly from fright. </p><p>“Only me,” Charlotte said quietly.<br/>
“Is he going to kill me now?” Sidney said nervously, “I put my foot in my mouth didn’t I?”<br/>
“He doesn’t approve at all,” Charlotte said with a straight face, “said I should throw you to the wolves and leave you.”<br/>
“Right,” Sidney said, his face washing of colour, “if I got him a goat to add to his collection would it change his mind? Or some more chickens?”<br/>
Charlotte burst into a fit of laugher, as she rested her head in his chest, “please don’t buy him anything.”<br/>
“Why are you laughing?” Sidney said seriously.<br/>
“I was joking Sidney- you’ve got to lighten up and never offer to buy dad goats or chicken again,” Charlotte laughed.<br/>
“Thank god,” Sidney sighed in relief before joking, “Tom just sold the business- I’m too broke to buy goats.”<br/>
“He likes you which is good because... I kind of really like you as well,” Charlotte said, wrapping her arm around his neck.<br/>
“That’s fortunate because I feel the exact same way,” Sidney smiled as he looked into Charlotte’s doe-eyes.<br/>
“Let’s go home,” Charlotte said, kissing him on the cheek, “you have a long day tomorrow.”<br/>
“But your mum put a crumble in the oven?” Sidney said.<br/>
“Mums already packed some for us to take home,” Charlotte laughed, “mum and dad are happy for us to leave.”<br/>
“Are you sure?” Sidney asked.<br/>
“Yes,” Charlotte said, “take me home.” </p><p>Charlotte wrapped her hand over Sidney’s shoulder and pulled him down toward her. She pressed her lips into his passionately. Her tongue slowly slipped into his open mouth as his hands slid down her back and hovered over her ass. </p><p>“Take me home,” Charlotte said breathlessly into his lips. </p><p>Intertwining his fingers between hers, Sidney pulled Charlotte along with him to the Heywood house. The duo made their goodbyes and once again, Sidney thanked both Charlottes parents for the invitation. Charlotte and Sidney got into the car and began to drive away as Mr and Mrs Heywood waved goodbye from the door. </p><p>Sidney let out a deep breath as soon as they left the farm. All the adrenaline was rushing out and he felt himself breath out the stress he had felt the whole day. Charlotte laughed softly as she heard his desperate sigh and rested her hand on his knee. </p><p>“Relax, you did a great job,” Charlotte said.<br/>
“I was very nervous,” Sidney said as he focused on the road.<br/>
“Really? I couldn’t tell at all,” Charlotte laughed.<br/>
“Your parents seem really nice, by the way,” Sidney said, shifting his into fifth gear and moving his hand to Charlotte thigh, “but I think I’ll need some help resting my nerves again when we get home.”<br/>
“That can be arranged- I think you earned it.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title:<br/>Jack Garratt- Breathe Life</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. God Only Knows</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A bit of a short chapter but hope you enjoy it none the less :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yawning as he walked into Susan’s office, Sidney rubbed the tiredness from his eyes as he watched Rose and Susan talk through the glass door. </p><p>Susan had called him on Friday to say that the decree absolute on his divorce was on its way to being signed off as she had applied for it earlier than she had originally told Sidney (holding back that information for fear of getting his hopes up as she wasn’t sure the courts would buy unreasonable behaviour). All Sidney needed to do was come in and sign the last few pieces of paperwork. </p><p>The news had put Sidney in a more steady mood- at least something bad was truly coming to an end and he could finally strike a match on all this wasted time. </p><p>When they had returned from Heywood house yesterday, Sidney had spent most of the night in bed with Charlotte. In the early hours of the morning, he held her in his arms and expressed how surprised he was that Mr Heywood had almost made getting his approval easy- once Sidney had got over the initial nerves and word vomit. Sidney had expected to jump through some more hoops but he was surprisingly pleased with his afternoons work. </p><p>Charlotte had giggled softly against his bare skin as she explained away Sidney’s naivety. </p><p>A short phone call with her mother to tell her they had reached home safely, had given Charlotte the missing information she needed. Mrs Heywood had spent most of the week dropping formula one information she had found out about Sidney online to Mr Heywood throughout the course of the days leading up to their visit. Nothing too obvious- discretion was key. The odd facts about Sidney’s success and his ambition to go beyond the track was enough to start planting some seeds in Mr Heywoods mind. Paired with the occasional dropping of “isn’t it so fortunate that Charlotte is finally happy”, “Charlotte’s lucky she got away from that Connor” and Sidney’s own declaration of love on his walk, Mr Heywood was easily won over- even if he did tell Mrs Heywood that they were to never bring up Sidney’s divorce to anyone they knew (something that was still a slight sour point for Mr Heywood). </p><p>Charlotte had teased Sidney until he fell asleep- laughing that it turned out she was with a Wordsworth instead of a Parker and that perhaps now that Sidney had no stake in formula one, he could try his hand at writing sonnets and proses (or elegies if he finally got his hands on Tom Parker- although Charlotte wouldn’t recommend that course of action). She also enjoyed teasing him about that fact that he wasn’t a drug addict- unable to contain her laughter as she asked him continuously how earth the topic had even come up and why Sidney felt the need to even bring up drugs.</p><p>Pushing against the glass door when Susan glanced up at him, Sidney turned on his usual charm and strung a tired smile on his face.</p><p>“Susan,” Sidney said cheerfully.<br/>
“Back again Mr Parker,” Susan smiled.<br/>
“Someone’s got to help you keep the lights on in this place,” Sidney laughed.<br/>
“Coffee? Tea?” Susan asked picking up her telephone from the desk.<br/>
“Too early for whiskey?” Sidney asked.<br/>
“What did you do wrong this weekend?” Susan said with a raised eyebrow.<br/>
“Nothing,” Sidney said defensively, “I was just in the mood to get something different in my system but given that I’m driving back after this, I’ll stick to a coffee. Black with two sugars.”</p><p>Smiling as she pushed the number one button on the dial, Susan cheerfully asked Rose to get her a tea and Sidney a coffee. When she put the phone down, she leaned back in her chair and looked at Sidney with curiosity. </p><p>“How was your weekend Sidney because mine was a nightmare,” Susan said.<br/>
“What happened?” Sidney asked curiously.<br/>
“George and I were meant to go away for the weekend- nice autumnal break, but he cancelled last minute,” Susan said, “he’s so secretive at the moment that someone would think he’s having an affair.”<br/>
“What is he up to?” Sidney asked.<br/>
“I have no idea. I tried to snoop on his phone but there was nothing there besides an email from his financial advisor, Bob, who said something about Tuesday at 12pm. He leaves nothing around and goes to his soundproof office for private calls,” Susan said, tapping her fingers on the desk.<br/>
“I want to sound encouraging but that does sound odd,” Sidney said.<br/>
“He’s not having an affair,” Susan said with a grin, “he wouldn’t dare.”<br/>
“What do you think it could be then?” Sidney asked, scratching his head.<br/>
“I don’t have the slightest of ideas. You’d think he’s the king of England or something with all his secrecy,” Susan laughed.</p><p>Clearing her throat, Susan sat up in her chair. She noticed the easiness with which Sidney sat in her office. His beard trimmed and shaped. His musky aftershave filling the room. He wasn’t fiddling with his fingers like he usually did and his every weren’t searching the room in want of a distraction. </p><p>“Never mind me, what did you do?” Susan said, resting the palm of her hands on her stomach as she leaned back in the chair, “you look rather odd and I can’t place it.”<br/>
“I actually went to meet Charlotte’s parents,” Sidney said with a tight smile, the thought of his trip still made him feel nervous.<br/>
“Now I see why you needed the whiskey,” Susan said as a soft laugh escaped her mouth, “did it go that badly?”<br/>
“No actually. It went quite well,” Sidney said, “her father approved. It turns out Mrs Heywood had been laying down the foundations for most of the week.”<br/>
“It is always good to have the mother on side,” Susan grinned.<br/>
“It was nice... really nice actually,” Sidney smiled, “reminded me of my family when we were younger. No one else remembers it but I do. And with the Heywood, it’s just felt... like being home.”<br/>
“I’m pleased for you Sidney,” Susan said, “How is Charlotte?”<br/>
“She’s fine,” Sidney smiled, “I still need to formally introduce you two.”<br/>
“You do. I’m sure we’ll get on just fine,” Susan said with a grin. </p><p>Stretching out her arm, Susan moved a few files from the middle of her desk, as Rose came into the room and set down their mugs on the table along with a small plate of biscuits (digestives, shortbread and chocolate bourbons) before leaving again. </p><p>As Sidney dunked his shortbread in his coffee, Susan took a sip of her hot tea before she got down to business. Susan never did like to mess around when it came to work. </p><p>“So, from today we have three weeks exactly until the decree absolute comes through. As I explained on the phone, I had applied for the decree nisi earlier than I had told you because I just wanted to see if the court would accept the terms of unreasonable behaviour- which they have done,” Susan explained.<br/>
“Surely you didn’t get me to drive all the way down here just to sign some papers that could have been emailed between us?” Sidney said.<br/>
Susan looked at Sidney with a raised brow, “you know me well. The papers did need signing but I also needed to discuss this settlement with you. They’ve sent me a list.”<br/>
“Do I want to know?” Sidney asked, raising his eyebrows as he grabbed another biscuit from the plate and slumped in his chair.<br/>
“I don’t think you do but I am legally obliged to share it with you,” Susan said, “now it was slightly unethical but as you know, I managed to renegotiate some of the old terms with her legal team once I brought our new information to light. I reckon we could leverage our photographs for some more things.” </p><p>With a pleased smile, Susan shuffled through her thick, beige file that was filled to the brim with papers accumulated over the last year and a half. It was only one of a number of files she had filed under the Parker divorce but it was the most important. Rolling her eyes as she pulled out the stapled white pages, Susan disdainfully looked at the thirty page list of demands that had been sent by Eliza’s team last week. </p><p>“How long can the settlement last?” Sidney asked, as he eyed the paperwork in Susan’s hand.<br/>
“However long it takes to reach an agreement- could be days, could be months,” Susan said, “typically, 3-6 months but we’ve already gone over that.”<br/>
“What exactly does she want?” Sidney asked.<br/>
“Anything and everything,” Susan said, rolling her eyes, “I’ve said no to most of it and she’s dropped the demand for your house in Sanditon and spousal support, but she still wants the London house- the one you brought together, and she wants half your shares in the Parker Company along with a few smaller assets you own.”</p><p>Exhaling, Sidney thought about Eliza and her demands. He had been informed of the smaller assets that she wanted before- some China antiques they had purchased and painting. He was more than happy to part with them. It was the business shares that made Sidney’s mind work over time to understand. </p><p>Tom had dissolved the company and sold the remained to an anonymous company. Sidney’s shares had no value and Eliza would have known that since she was a shareholder (legally needing to be informed before any deals had been signed). Sidney knew the company was now just a hollow shell and Eliza and her team would have been made aware of that weeks ago; if Sidney was to work off of Tom’s timeline and information. Why Eliza still wanted it was beyond him, but if she wanted it that desperately, Sidney would give it to her. </p><p>“Give them to her,” Sidney said, rubbing his fingers over his top lip.<br/>
“What?” Susan said.<br/>
“Give her my shares. All of them,” Sidney clarified, “Tom has dissolved the company. I believe the formal paperwork is currently being handled.”<br/>
“Did you go to another firm? Why haven’t I heard about this?” Susan said.<br/>
“I had no idea about it. I’m not in the mood to fight Susan- even if we can, Tom was in his full rights to sell his own shares and he has sold them.To Eliza. I want to be free of her so give her all my shares,” Sidney said.<br/>
“That could finalise this agreement much quicker,” Susan said. </p><p>Grabbing a pink post it note, Susan quickly jotted down this new information and stuck it onto the top of the demand list. When Sidney left the office, this would be the first call she intended to make.</p><p>“I do have one condition,” Sidney said.<br/>
“Of course you do,” Susan said, looking up at him.<br/>
“I will give her my shares and I’ll even get Arthur to agree to sell his, on the agreement that she give me back the 22,” Sidney said.<br/>
“The 22?” Susan raised an eyebrow, “your fathers car? Don’t you already own that?”<br/>
“Tom,” Sidney said- the one name answering all the questions.<br/>
“It was a company asset to protect it in the divorce,” Susan said tightly, “that was a foolish idea on my teams part. I’m sorry.”<br/>
“Not your fault. None of us could have predicted Tom’s behaviour,” Sidney said with a shrug, “I just want it back. It meant a lot to me. When I was in that car, I was never looking back. Right there in the cockpit. It was holy ground. I want it back Susan if you can get it. I say so much that I can live without the material stuff but... it’s the one thing I would really, really like back.”<br/>
Susan smiled, “Well, the good news is that I think I can get her to agree to those terms- the 22 will be home with you in no time.” </p><p>Grabbing her mug of warm tea off the table, Susan settled back into her leather armchair and stared at Sidney with a straight face. He had peaked her interest in something other than her work. </p><p>“Now tell me more about Tom,” Susan said, “Dissolved the company? Without your knowledge? What was he even thinking? Do you want me to get Greg to look into this- try and stop it?”</p><p>Sidney sighed. Now would have been a great time to start legal action against Tom- he was in a lawyers office. The best lawyers office in London if he said so himself (or at least that’s what he hoped considering the cost of it). Yet a pull on his heart told him it was he wrong thing to do. He shouldn’t be fighting his brother- especially when the deal was already done. </p><p>“Thank you for the offer but I think I’ll leave it. I think it’s already done. They’re coming tomorrow to start packing up shop,” Sidney exhaled, “Tom’s pretty much given it all away. The building. The name. The tools. The cars. Thank god he didn’t give away the people as well. I still have no idea what his intentions were- god only knows on that front, but what’s int he past now is in the past. I just have to deal with the consequence of it.”<br/>
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I could have tried to stop it,” Susan said.<br/>
“I was wrapping my head around it and honestly I just thought he had lost his mind and it wasn’t actually happening,” Sidney sighed.<br/>
“Let me help you Sidney,” Susan said, “in some way.” </p><p>Sidney pondered. No family was perfect. His family was far from it. Him and Tom argued like cats and dogs. They had done since they were children. They would argue. They would fight. There were even times where they would stop talking to one another but when it mattered most... everything turned to dust. </p><p>When Tom had stolen Sidney’s transformer car and broken it- Sidney was mad. When Sidney had locked Tom his room and gone with their father to the garage instead of him- Tom was livid. When Tom had first sold their family home and moved to Trafalgar house- Sidney was furious. When Sidney had gambled himself to debt before he left the country to start a fresh- Tom was angry. When Sidney had decided to become a race car driver despite his families open wounds- Tom called him selfish. When Tom had almost bankrupted the company the first time- Sidney called him stupid. </p><p>It didn’t matter what Tom had ever done to him. Or what Sidney had done to Tom. They would always find themselves at each other doors just like all those times before and they would both be wearing their best apologises. Sidney was often not sure how they had both got to that position- sometimes going months at a time without talking, but all roads always led to the others because they knew even through the anger, the other would be there on the worst days (and most of the time on the best). </p><p>“It’s okay Susan. It takes more than bricks, bolts and metal to leave a hole in a heart. I’ll treasure that company and it’s memories but I won’t fight for it,” Sidney smiled, “I have a future to look forward to and with my other investments, I don’t even have to worry about money.”<br/>
“How was Tom when you ripped into him?” Susan asked curiously.<br/>
“He’s been avoiding me so I haven’t yet unleashed hell on him,” Sidney said with an odd smile on his face.<br/>
“What are you going to say when you see him?” Susan said, sipping on her tea.<br/>
“I could shout at him. I could tell him he should have said no. He should have thought twice before he let the company go. He certainly shouldn’t of been so weak when he agreed to let go of the 22 or even the 54 but I’ll let Crowe at him for that when he wakes up,” Sidney said , “Blood is thicker than water so even though it feels wrong just looking at him at the moment, he’s my brother. I will love him with all his bone headed mistakes and flaws. Although I might punch him once in the face for the sake of the 22 if I don’t get it back.”<br/>
“Very adult of you Sidney,” Susan smiled.<br/>
“It’s a new thing I’m trying,” Sidney said softly, “I want to be better for the people around me... for Charlotte and any family we have. Be an example for them- just like my dad’s an example for.”<br/>
“Well I approve,” Susan said, “and now I must kick you out so I can get on with work.”</p><p>Sidney chuckled as he put his mug on the desk and stood up. He brushed off any loose crumbs on his trousers as Susan walked around the table. Looking at her warmly, he wrapped her in a comforting hug. </p><p>“Thank you for everything Susan,” Sidney smiled.<br/>
“Next time I see you Sidney, you will be a free man,” Susan said, “well free from Eliza- three weeks is a long time for Tom to do something else we might need to clean up.”<br/>
“Don’t give him any ideas Susan,” Sidney chuckled.<br/>
“To be fair, it’s your brother Arthur that gets you in more ruckuses- I do hope your laying off the brownies,” Susan laughed.<br/>
“That I am,” Sidney smiled, “Although Arthur is definitely invite to my next Lost Boys weekend- just need to get Crowe in shape first.”<br/>
“Are you sure you don’t want us to look into this new deal Tom’s done- I won’t even charge you. Consider it a divorce present from me,” Susan said.<br/>
“Thank you Susan,” Sidney said, “But I’m sure. The autumn leaves are falling. I think it’s a sign that I need to shed my old skin and maybe start a new.”<br/>
“Very well. I’ll be in touch Sidney,” Susan said.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you everyone so much for coming on this little fictional journey with me. There’s only a few more chapters left now so we’ll be tying up those loose ends ;) As always, I’m so grateful for all your feedback.</p><p>Title:</p><p>Beach Boys- God Only Knows</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. Hold Me While You Wait</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Mr Sidaway?” Charlotte said, raising an eyebrow. </p><p>Pushing herself off of the tool cabinet, Charlotte pulled the cola lollipop out of her mouth as she walked over to a smartly dressed Sam. To say she was surprised to see him would have been an understatement but he was a welcome distraction. </p><p>The past two days at the garage had been monotonous. As much as it excited Charlotte to be back as Chief of the formula one Parker team, her job was now just a title. With the dissolving of the company and the selling of almost all the goods, the team actually had nothing to do besides twiddle their thumbs and keep inventory of what was going (and ensure it was actually there). Their usual jobs had been made redundant as the cars were no longer theirs to actually work on. </p><p>“Chief,” Sam smiled, tucking a hand into his trouser pocket. <br/>“What are you doing here?” Charlotte asked curiously, “you aren’t a member of this board any more and I don’t recall a meeting.”<br/>“I still have,” Sam paused to check his watch, “an hour until the sale becomes official. Until then, I’m still a member of the board.”<br/>“And you wanted to see this collapse before your eyes?” Charlotte said sceptically as she looked around the full garage knowing it was going to be stripped in just a few hours.<br/>“Despite popular belief Chief Heywood, I really did want this company to succeed. That’s why I spent so long on the investigation,” Sam said.<br/>“Didn’t fee like it,” Charlotte said, raising an eyebrow. <br/>“Charlotte- May I call you Charlotte?” Sam said, waiting for Charlotte to nod her head before he proceeded, “What the Parkers were doing here was different. It’s why I joined the company. They weren’t just here to win- they were here to breath life into every corner of this sport. Promote change and show that the best we’re not limited by the colour of their skin or their gender.” <br/>“It doesn’t matter now,” Charlotte shrugged, “because it’s over now.”<br/>“The Parker Company might be but the work here isn’t it. This is another win for the good guys in the history books,” Sam smiled, “You were a good decision here. A step on the right side of history. I really did want to find a way to make the investigation turn out well for you. If you ever need a job Chief Heywood, I’m moving to another F1 company and I’d be more than happy to put a good word in for you.”<br/>“I haven’t thought that far ahead yet Sam,” Charlotte said, feeling her cheeks turn red at Sam’s compliment. <br/>“I’m being serious when I say Charlotte that you being here was one of the best decisions this team made. Anyone would be lucky to have you. Think about it,” Sam said.<br/>“Thank you,” Charlotte said, folding her arms over her chest as she put the lollipop back in her mouth, “I will.”<br/>“Seriously?” Sam raised an eyebrow.<br/>“Yes. I will seriously think about it,” Charlotte said, “I will need a job at some point- I’ve worked too hard to give this all up.”<br/>“And when that day comes, I hope to be of some help,” Sam said, “Now where is Mr Parker?” <br/>“Which one?” Charlotte said. <br/>“Tom already sent his excuses this morning. Considering he set this mess in motion, you’d think he would be here to see everything be taken away- not that he would ever admit this is a mistake. He was never one to throw out his clocks and his daggers, even when it was morning- he’s alway enjoyed a mystery,” Sam said, “so Sidney it is.”<br/>“I actually don’t know. He was here this morning and I haven’t seen him since,” Charlotte shrugged, looking around the room. <br/>“I’m around for an hour. If you see him, tell I’ve come to see him one last time,” Sam said, “Just wanted to wish him luck.”<br/>“Won’t you be coming to the party tonight? One last party before this whole things comes to an end?” Charlotte asked.<br/>“I’m afraid not,” Sam said, “if you see Sidney, please let him know I’m here.”<br/>“I will do,” Charlotte smiled.  </p><p>Sam dropped his briefcase in the office and then promptly made his way out to the track. Charlotte thought it was to soak in the stillness of the race track one last time- she and Leroy had already sat in the stalls and just listened to the silence of the autumn winds four times this morning. It was an odd feeling of satisfaction. Imagining those seats filled to the brim on match days. Hearing the raw of the cars engine in her mind. She was going to miss it. </p><p>Looking around the garage curiously, Charlotte tried to find Sidney- now curious as to where he had gotten to. He wasn’t in the garage or office and from the monitors she could see he wasn’t on the tracks either. </p><p>“What’s wrong Chief?” Leroy asked.<br/>“Do you mind if I go look for Sidney?” Charlotte asked, pulling her empty lollipop stick out of her mouth. <br/>“Not like we actually have anything to do,” Leroy smiled. </p><p>Walking out of the garage, Charlotte thought carefully about where Sidney could be hiding. He had been a ball of agitated nerves this morning and as much as he tried to cover up his emotions, Charlotte knew he was struggling with the loss of this place. The Parker company and all it had built, had been Sidneys life for over ten years (and his dream for even longer). It wasn’t easy to let something like this just go- especially when you think it’s going to be your families legacy for generations to come. </p><p>Creeping slowly into the small, private garage, Charlotte felt butterflies in the pit of her stomach as she recalled her first time in there (a distant memory now). She smiled to herself as she remembered Sidney and her fumbling over his car as they embarked on the unconventional beginning of their relationship. She hadn’t realised then just how much her life was going to change. Now she couldn’t let him... his handprint was on her soul. </p><p>“What are you doing in here?” Charlotte asked as she entered the smaller garage, “Why is your car on the alignment lift?” </p><p>Sidney sighed as he turned to look at her. He had oil on his forehead and tools scattered all over the floor as he tried to raise a weak smile in her direction. </p><p>“I wanted to make sure I’d used every single thing before I left,” Sidney said. <br/>“Did you just realign the wheels?” Charlotte said, “because I’m fairly certain you really didn’t need to do that.”<br/>“Yes. I also didn’t actually need to change the breaks, change the engine or the hazard light, but I did that as well,” Sidney said.</p><p>Wrapping her hands around his waist Charlotte got on her tip toes and rested her chin on his shoulder. </p><p>“How are you doing?” Charlotte asked softly.<br/>“I felt like my limb is about to be chopped off but all I can do is put on a smile,” Sidney exhaled.<br/>“I’m sorry,” Charlotte said as she gently rubbed the palm of her hand along his chest, “I wish there was something I could do.”<br/>“Can we cancel that ridiculously opulent party Tom has planned for tonight as a last hurrah- especially since he’s suddenly decided he can’t even make it,” Sidney gritted.<br/>“Tom’s become quite the flake,” Charlotte laughed softly, trying to lighten the mood.<br/>“I’m really going to punch him the next time I see him,” Sidney said, wrapping his finger through Charlotte’s and pulling her around to his front, “it’s going to be a long day.” <br/>“It is. But remember when there’s glitter on the floor after the party tomorrow, and people carrying their shoes as they get into their taxi’s. All the candle wax and Polaroid’s on the floor... you and me will be there in the the morning. Together. Starting a new,” Charlotte smiled.<br/>Sidney squeezed Charlotte’s hand softly as he looked around the garage, “I’m going to miss this place. My dad used to work here,” Sidney said solemnly, “did I ever tell you that? Before it was this huge track, the Denhams had this land with a stable for the asses. My dad used to work for them as a young boy and after he finished his jobs, he would sit and fix his cars where the garage is now,” Sidney smiled as he reminisced. <br/>“Hold on to the memories Sidney, and I promise they will hold on to you,” Charlotte said softly. </p><p>Leaning down, Sidney wrapped his hand around Charlottes waist and pressed his lips into hers. Gently, he sucked on her lower lip with need. Charlotte, on her tip toes, slipped her tongue into his open mouth and searched until she could intertwine her tongue with his. </p><p>“You know,” Sidney said, a devilish look on his face as he pulled back and looked at her, “I did want to make sure I used everything thoroughly before we had to give it away.”<br/>“Yeah,” Charlotte said in confusion.</p><p>Tilting his head toward his Aston Martin on the alignment lift, Charlotte looked at it oddly for a second before she caught onto his meaning.</p><p>“Take the car off the lift and you have a deal,” Charlotte said firmly.<br/>“Come on Charlotte. The lift is bolted into the concrete ground and the lift isn’t even raised,” Sidney said.<br/>“Sidney,” Charlotte whispered as she bent her neck and looked at him.<br/>“Charlotte,” Sidney whispered with a cheeky grin, “just the once.” </p><p>Charlotte looked at the car on the lift and after thinking through the logistics- the lift was bolted into the ground, the car was hooked in, the lift was down and could certainly carry their weight (and then some), and she was in the mood for one last hurrah in this memory filled garage, she turned to look back at Sidney. </p><p>“Lock the door,” Charlotte whispered as she opened the back door of the car.</p><p>Sidney obliged hastily- almost running to lock the door, before turning around to climb into the backseat of his Aston Martin with Charlotte. </p><p>Shutting the car door behind him as he slid into the seat beside Charlotte in the back, Sidney steadied his breath as he saw she had already unzipped her overalls and was sat in just her bra and underwear. He quickly unzipped his own overalls- his eyes full of lust and want. </p><p>As his zipper reached his naval, Charlotte slipped her hands over his bare chest and trailed them up to his shoulders. She pulled him towards her and wrapped her fingers through his curls as she pressed her lips into his. Drinking his lips in, Charlotte slipped his overalls off his shoulders and stretched her arms to help Sidney pull them off his ankles. Her hand then quickly reached for his hips- pulling the elastic of his boxers and slipping them off to release his hard cock, before sliding her tongue into his mouth and almost playing in his mouth. </p><p>Sidney’s hands slid from Charlotte’s hips, over her stomach and up her back towards her bra. As he sipped on her lips, he unclasped her bra and threw it away absentmindedly. He enjoyed the feeling of her soft skin under his fingertips as he felt the goosebumps of her skin. Trailing his lips down the curve of her neck, Sidney reached for the soft curve of Charlotte’s breast. As she felt Sidney’s lips suck on her skin, Charlotte’s bare breasts fell and rose with her gentle breath as she laid back on the back seats with Sidney climbing on top of her. </p><p>Moving his lips from her collar bone down, Sidney planted wet kisses on the valley between her breasts. He gently stroked her full breast with his fingers until he reached her nipple- circling her bud until it hardened. </p><p>Charlotte’s fingers closed around his curls as Sidney slowly and seductively played with her now hard nipple in his mouth. Charlotte let out a soft moan while Sidney’s mouth gently sucked on her nipple- the wetness and heat from his lips causing Charlotte to whimper as Sidney ran his tongue over her breast. </p><p>His full lips caressed the skin of her breasts, as Sidney gently pulled her soft skin into his mouth and sucked on her.  Charlotte moaned as Sidney teased her breast with his tongue before he opened his mouth to draw soft, wet circles with the tip of his tongue.</p><p>Pulling on his curls, Charlotte breathed heavily as her desire for Sidney grew. Slowly, Sidney moved his face up to hers and she breathed her hot breath against him. Licking his tongue over her bottom lip, Sidney dipped his tongue into her mouth as Charlotte groaned against his skin- feeling his hardness against her thighs. </p><p>Charlotte dug her hands into his back- pulling Sidney closer to her, as he ran his hand from her breast over her ribs to her waist and stroked her hip bone. Charlotte’s skin twitched as he gripped her hips and slipped his thumbs under the band of her underwear. Charlotte rose her butt and Sidney slipped them down her legs quickly. Kicking the underwear to the ground, Charlotte arched her back as Sidney slid his fingers on her thighs and relished the feel of her soft skin. Her breasts pushed against Sidney’s bare chest as she did. </p><p>Sidney slipped his hand between her legs. Gently, he stroked her folds and caressed her wet entrance with his open fingers. Charlotte moaned in Sidney’s mouth as their tongues intertwined. She was burning inside as his fingers massaged her and sent electric impulses all along her body. </p><p>Sidney moved his fingers with pure gentleness inside of her- tender as he ran his fingers along her whole slit before pushing them inside of her. His lips moved from her mouth to beating pulse of her neck. </p><p>At the same time, Sidney moved his fingers inside of her pulsating middle with a gentle touch. He slid back to her entrance and slowly pushed row of his fingers inside of her. Charlotte spread her legs wider and raised her hips as she heard his growl- Sidney pushing deeper inside of her as she did. </p><p>Moaning loudly, Charlotte gently stroked the muscles of his back as he pushed his bare chest against her. His muscles were almost shaking under her hands and with a loud gasp she felt his teeth against her skin for a moment, before he moved his fingers from her wetness. Charlotte moved her hands to steady herself and as she did, she hit it on the floor of the car where the remote for the lift was sat. The front of the car began to move upwards slowly as their heavy breaths mingled in the air. </p><p>“Fuck,” Charlotte said. </p><p>Sidney laughed softly as he grabbed the remote off the ground and stopped the car from moving up any more. </p><p>“We can stop,” Sidney said quietly.<br/>Grabbing the remote from his hand, Charlotte threw it into the drivers seat, “or we could keep going.”</p><p>Taking her hands into his, Sidney intertwined their fingers, pushed Charlotte back against the seats and placed her hands against the door of the car (near her head). With an open mouth, Sidney gently placed kisses on Charlotte’s skins dropping his head to her breasts, Sidney planted wet kisses and felt Charlotte’s raging heartbeat against his lip. He slowly moved his bare torso over hers as his lips came closer to her mouth. </p><p>Sidney slowly lowered his lips to hers and stroked them. He gently kissed her, sipping on her lower lip. Sidney opened his mouth and traced her lips with the tip of his tongue before  Charlotte opened her lips and let Sidney dip his tongue into her mouth. Sidney kissed her tenderly and slowly as he soaked in every inch of her mouth. </p><p>Pushing his fingers down her body, Sidney reached Charlotte’s thighs and gently gripped onto them with the palm of his hands so he could spread them further open on the backseat of the car. Charlotte willingly opened them wide and gasped when she felt his hard length at her entrance. </p><p>Moving his hand back to her breast, Sidney strokes at Charlotte’s skin hungrily as he pressed his hips lightly against her. He murmured into her skin as he moved his hard cock into her wetness. </p><p>Desperately, Charlotte lifted herself against him. Sidney gently stroked her folds with his tip and Charlotte wrapped her legs around his waist and moved his head to hers. As Sidney pressed into her wet entrance, they both moaned into each other’s mouth. </p><p>Their breaths were panting as their lips touched and Sidney dipped into Charlotte’s mouth to explore her. Tenderly, Sidney pulled himself almost completely out of her and then thrusted himself deep into her, over and over again. The y both groaned and whispered as the windows of the car steamed up. Their lips never separated as Charlotte gripped Sidney’s shoulder blades to pull him closer to her and Sidney held onto her hips. </p><p>Charlotte gently rose her hips against his deep, slow thrusts as she kissed him passionately. Sidney groaned into her mouth as he held onto his slow, deep thrusts- hitting deep inside Charlotte over and over again as they were both brought to the edge. </p><p>Falling apart first, Charlotte felt her walls tighten around him and had to loosen her lips from him as she cried out in pleasure. Her forehead pressed tightly into Sidneys as she moaned out his name when the waves of pleasure caused her to come undone.  Sidney came undone quickly after- continuing to move gently inside of her until he groaned breathlessly himself from pleasure. </p><p>Sidney buried his head into the curve of her neck as they caught their breaths. After a few moments, they both began to put their clothes on and looked at one another. Charlotte was the first to break the silence. </p><p>“I forgot to tell you Sam Sidaway was here to see you,” Charlotte said, pulling her hair out from inside her overalls before she pulled up the zip. <br/>“Why?” Sidney groaned, as he opened the car door, holding his hand out for Charlotte once he’d jumped down.<br/>“Just to wish you luck for the future,” Charlotte said softly, “he seemed very sincere.” <br/>“Can I just protest and refuse to leave here?” Sidney said, as he pulled Charlotte into his chest.<br/>“You could, but they’d just pick you up and throw you out,” Charlotte laughed, “this isn’t the end Sidney. Just the start of something new.”<br/>“What am I without this place though? I haven’t know anything besides it,” Sidney said, his eyes shinning as they began to fill with held back tears.<br/>“You are a magnetic force of a man,” Charlotte smiled, “the world is your oyster and you don’t have to decide just yet what you’ll do. But I know you’ll find sometching you love and when you do, well al be there to cheer you on.”</p><p>Looking down at her, Sidney crashed his lips Charlotte’s. He searched her lips with his and kissed her lovingly. Charlotte returned the kiss with just as much passion. There was a lot of uncertainty but they were certain in each other. Fitting perfectly into each other as they deepened their kiss, they were two indentations in the shape of the other- marks on the others skin like golden tattoos. They stayed like this for a short while- stroking and dancing their tongue with the others, until they reluctantly pulled away. </p><p>“We better get out there before they send a search party,” Charlotte said quietly as she rested her hand on Sidneys fast beating heart.<br/>“At least in unemployment I don’t have to worry about anyone walking in on us,<br/> Or time constraints,” Sidney said. <br/>“Ah yes,” Charlotte laughed, “there’s the silver lining.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope this was okay. It took me a while to work out the logistics. </p><p>Thanks for all the feedback- as always it’s really appreciated.</p><p>Title:<br/>Lewis Capaldi- Hold Me While You Wait</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. Dress</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>After dropping some Taylor Swift Easter eggs in yesterday’s chapter, I decided to add this chapter into the story. It was originally planned but I really did want some wine sipping in the bathtub.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Brushing down her lilac silk dress as she got out of the car, Charlotte nervously intertwined her fingers through Sidney’s. </p><p>“You look lovely,” Sidney said, pulling her close to him.<br/>Smiling, Charlotte reached up to whisper into Sidney’s ear, “I only really brought this dress so you could take it off later.”</p><p>Sidney’s breath caught in his throat as he almost chocked on Charlotte’s word. He smiled gleefully and Charlotte found herself giggling- this was his first genuine smile of the day. </p><p>It had been a long day at the garage and she had waited by Sidney’s side as every single item was packed and loaded onto the back of a large removal truck- from the large engines all the way down to the last ball point pen in the building. They had spent much of their time in silence. Sidney didn’t want to share anything. He didn’t want to share his sadness. His anecdotes. The reason why this is all meant so much to him- from the 22 all the way down to the spanner’s he had personally brought when they first started the garage. But Charlotte understood. </p><p>It was the end of a decade. </p><p>The pair made their way into Trafalgar house in their black tie attire and braced themselves for the evening. Sidney didn’t want to be there. No matter how sharp his black suit was or how richly he smelt of his musky aftershave, his face did not hide that fact. He wanted to be at home wallowing or finding ways to take his mind off things. Not walking around a room with people reminding him that he had failed- because this felt like a failure to him. He had not saved the company. He had not kept an eye on it. He had not succeed in keeping his fathers dream alive. This kingdom that he had wanted to build, had only come undone. </p><p>Staring around them, Charlotte squeezed Sidney’s hand as they walked through the gold dressed, hallway of Trafalgar house. Glancing into the living room, a large banner was hanging - “10 Years to Team Parker”. The room was dripping in opulence- like something out of the Great Gatsby. It was wild in a way- extravagant in every manor, and yet so delicately elegant. The packed rooms were filled with lots of laughter, music and dancing and Charlotte could tell the evening was going to be some what overwhelming. Gold finished off everything. A racing car was sculpted from ice. Crystals hung from the ceiling like clear disco balls. People were swimming in a champagne sea. A brass band sat in the corner and played upbeat jazz. And people were dressed in their finest clothes with jewellery hanging from their arms like tinsel at Christmas.</p><p>Charlotte felt Sidney’s hand tighten around hers as he froze at the sight of the sign. His eyes glistened slightly until someone accidentally apologised and Sidney cleared his throat- stomping on anything that he was feeling. </p><p>“Mary,” Charlotte said, relieved for the distraction as Mary walked towards them through the crowd. <br/>“Charlotte. Sidney,” Mary said cheerfully. She leaned in to give Charlotte a kiss on the cheeks and, taking note of Sidney’s distracted look, she decided to gently squeeze Sidneys arm in comfort, “I’m sorry Tom isn’t here himself- he was so excited and had really wanted to be here. He sends his regards though.”<br/>“He’s probably counting his lucky stars he hasn’t seen me yet,” Sidney gritted. <br/>“Thank you for hosting the evening Mary,” Charlotte said with a soft smile, ignoring Sidney’s comment. <br/>“Mary where is Tom?” Sidney asked, snapping his head in her direction- acknowledging her properly for the first time that evening. <br/>“He had a business meeting in Whittlebury today and has another in Buckingham. Since it ran so late, he decided to just stop over,” Mary said with the cool and collected tone she alway had.<br/>“He should be here to see the making of his mess,” Sidney said angrily, grabbing a glass of champagne off the tray as a waiter walked past. <br/>“Charlotte might I ask a small favour?” Mary asked, trying to change the conversation, “Would you mind terribly if I asked you to keep Mr Redcliff some company for five minutes whilst I check on the appetisers? He has a keen interest in the mechanics of a car and I have no idea.”<br/>“Of course,” Charlotte said sympathetically, glancing over at Sidney who was staring at the banner in the living room.<br/>“Sidney, you can have her back, after I promise,” Mary said, taking Charlotte by the hand before Sidney could protest. </p><p>Left to his own devices, Sidney slowly made his way into the room and joined the throng of guests in the festivities. He was used to plastering on a smile for events he did not want to attend, and although this event attired the same emotions he felt at a funeral, Sidney knew how to use other peoples face as mirror for himself. He put on his best smile. He made polite conversation. He blended in. Just like he had taught himself to do for many years. </p><p>As he moved around the room, being pulled from one conversation to another without the opportunity to even fill up his champagne glass, Sidney glanced around the room for Charlotte. He searched for her often as he pinned for her to beside him- desperately waiting for the moment that they could leave and escape to the oasis of their home. Occasionally, Charlotte caught his eyes and in the crowded room, their eyes shared a secret moment of comfort, ease and reassurance. </p><p>The evening was as long as expected. Whilst he made his way through the large drove of guests, Sidney felt somewhat out of place amid the throng of jubilant...strangers. And they were strangers. Sidney barely knew any of them. These weren’t the people working in the garage every day- well everyone besides Leroy who had spent most the evening chatting with Charlotte. These people were the silent figures Sidney saw occasionally for board meetings in London or silent investors and donors. He barely knew their names as they drew him into conversation after conversation. </p><p>What intrigued Sidney most about these guest was the way they mulled around exchanging rumours about their host- Thomas Parker. Even without being present, Tom had managed to succeed in making this spectacle about him. Yet the rumours made Tom some sort of shadow figure- everyone unable to make sense about how Tom had suddenly managed to get the company in so much debt and why the company was being sold when there was so much personal history. Questions, Sidney too, would have liked answers to.</p><p>As he weaved through the people and managed to clutch onto a glass of red wine, Sidney felt his bones jolt at the familiar touch. Rolling his eyes, he turned around reluctantly. </p><p>“Eliza,” Sidney gritted through his teeth.<br/>“Sidney,” Eliza smiled tightly as she sipped on her champagne, “what a lovely little event.” <br/>“A bit extravagant if you ask me,” Sidney said with distant. <br/>“What did you ever know about a party Sidney,” Eliza chucked softly as she smiled at some figure in the distance. <br/>“What are you doing here?” Sidney asked, rolling his eyes as the room seemed to get hotter. <br/>“Just here to see who we’ll be offering new contracts to,” Eliza said triumphantly. <br/>“New contracts?” Sidney asked.<br/>“Well between Tom’s shares, Diana’s shares and now yours and Arthur’s, I own the whole of the Parker company. I’m going to need bodies on the ground and I know you only hired the best- why not keep them in employment?” Eliza smirked.<br/>“For you to have my shares, I need the 22,” Sidney said.<br/>“It is yours once the divorce goes through. That was my only condition- couldn’t let you have all of them now, could I. I won’t need a car that doesn’t even make the guidelines anyway,” Eliza said, sipping on her champagne.<br/>Sidney almost laughed, “You still don’t get it do you Eliza.”<br/>“Get what?” Eliza said. <br/>“You are so eager to be know. To have so many friends. To own the latest fashion. To share every detail of what you do and dress it up like an achievement this is so wonderful. But what kind of a life is to be known like that? For the thighs you own or have- that can brought, traded or bartered,” Sidney said, stuffing his hand in his pocket as he stood a bit taller, “to be loved like that? What is the point in it.”<br/>“The settlement of our divorce has come down to you wanting a car Sidney,” Eliza almost snorted.<br/>“A car that holds onto memories. A car that has been crafted by my father who scrimped and saved all his pennies to buy each piece before he got his big break and made his dream even better,” Sidney smiled as he reminisced, “it not just a car Eliza. It’s not just material pieces. It’s so much more.”<br/>“Sidney, everyone wants to be known. To be admired. To be famous,” Eliza said, “I watched you throw yourself to wolves after every race. You thrived on the attention.”<br/>“I wanted to be known intimately by the people I knew intimately. I never had the desire to be famous. Known, yes... but for who I was... who I am. Accepted for who I am. Understood. That’s a different kind of want. A different desire,” Sidney said, as he looked at Eliza and studied her face. She was so different from the person he once loved, “I am not a clone of conventions and achievements. You wanted me for that and you kicked me for the same thing when I didn’t live up to this mirage of greatness you created in your mind. Nothing I ever did was novel or unique. It didn’t mean I didn’t do them.”<br/>“Sidney you sound like your having a mid life crisis,” Eliza snapped.<br/>“Maybe I am,” Sidney smiled, “or maybe I’m finally feeling alive. Finding meaning. Slowing down. Taking in the moment. Feeling joy. I’d like to think that all this suffering and soul searching I’ve been through has been for something more than just a laugh from the universe. That I am worth all my own love and affection and consideration.”<br/>“Sidney we never failed because I didn’t love you,” Eliza said. <br/>“We failed because you didn’t know how to love me Eliza. You loved things and not people,” Sidney said, looking at her with sympathy, “The things that you’ll value most at the end of the day are not the material objects that surround you or dress you but the way you feel. The emotions that have stirred. The words you have written in your mind or heard sung from the lips of other people. My father always said that life was all about proving yourself to people, but we got to chose who were proving things to,” Sidney paused to look up and noticed Charlotte standing in the distance- deep in conversation with Arthur. He smiled softly, “and recently I’ve come to realise I quite like my pick.”<br/>“Sidney-“<br/>“Now that the settlement is sorted Eliza and that the divorce is pretty much finalised... I never want to have to see you again. You have the things you want and I have the things I need,” Sidney said, leaning forward and kissing Eliza on the cheek, “goodbye Eliza.” </p><p>Turning on his heels without a second thought, Sidney strolled towards the front door. He needed air. He needed to cool this light feeling he had. As he approached the door, he noticed an old board member coming towards him and shifted on his feet, only to notice someone approaching from that direction as well. Quickly darting his eyes around the room, Sidney dashed for the stairs (grabbing a bottle of wine from the ice bucket as he did) and made his way towards the large bathroom on the first floor. </p><p>He just needed a moment for himself. </p><p>Looking around the room, Charlotte could see that everything this evening had been about excess- a sense of overkill wrapping around every inch of detail. Dozens of people had shown up from all over the country, to drink, dance and gossip until dawn as they shared empty sympathies at the end of the Parker team. </p><p>No matter how much champagne she had drunk, the conversation with each new person she met remained mind numbingly boring. The evening had provided Charlotte with a few new opportunities though- various investors, donors and shareholder had the intention to move to other formula one teams and many offered Charlotte the head engineering positions (something she had never been offered before joining the Parker team). There was a catch though- they were all in London. </p><p>Charlotte could feel her face aching from holding a smile so long and as she put down her empty glass of champagne, she looked around the room for Sidney. Checking her watch, she could see it 11:30 pm and despite the late hour, the party was still going strong. Unable to see him, Charlotte looked towards the wooden staircase that had been wrapped in shimmering golf satin for the evening and slowly began to climb them in search of Sidney. There was very little room for him to escape anywhere else. </p><p>Slowly walking along the hardwood floor- creeping slowly so her heels didn’t echo like horse hooves and wake the children who were asleep not too far, Charlotte checked in the various rooms to see if she could catch a glance of Sidney. As she slowly made her way along the wide corridor, she almost jumped when she heard a tired whisper behind her. </p><p>“Charlotte?” A small voice said.<br/>“Henry?” Charlotte said.</p><p>Glancing down at the little boy, Charlotte smiled. She noted how scruffy his hair was- a brush would be needed in the morning, how his blue pin stripe pyjamas hung a little too loosely on him and how tightly he clung to his dirty white rabbit teddy bear.  Taking quick strides towards him, Charlotte bent down to his height when he was only a few inches from her. </p><p>“What are you doing awake?” Charlotte asked softly. <br/>“I just wanted some water,” Henry said with a yawn.<br/>“Did you get it?” Charlotte asked and watched as Henry nodded his head slowly, “have you seen uncle Sidney anywhere Henry?”<br/>“He’s in the bath tub,” Henry said, his eyes closing as he spoke.<br/>“He’s having a bath?” Charlotte said with some confusion, “at this time?”<br/>Henry giggled softly, “hes still wearing his fancy suit. He’s just siting in the bath tub Charlotte.” <br/>“Okay, well I better find Uncle Sidney in the bath tub while you go to bed- your bunny looks very tired,” Charlotte smiled as she tugged on the ears of Henry’s rabbit.<br/>“I was having a bad dream,” Henry said tiredly. <br/>“Why don’t you pop to bed and I’ll send Uncle Sidney to check on you in a few minutes?” Charlotte smiled. <br/>“Okay,” Henry said.<br/>Leaning forward, Charlotte pulled Henry into a tight hug before kissing him on his head, “Sweet dreams Henry.”</p><p>Charlotte watched Henry walk down the hall to his bedroom and only turned to walk away when she saw he had slipped into his room. Standing up, she strolled to the bathroom. Charlotte knocked gently before walking in- not waiting for a response. She could see Sidney was sat in the slipper bath tub, glass of wine in hand as he stared at the ceiling. His tie had been loosened (he alway did hate them), his top buttons undone. His suit jacket sat on a stool beside the sink and his sleeves had been rolled up to his biceps. </p><p>“What are you doing in a bath tub with wine?” Charlotte said as she slowly walked over to Sidney. Picking up the wine bottle on the floor besides the large, white tub as she did, before looking at him, “and how long have you been here if almost the whole bottle is finished?”<br/>“I needed to breath but every time I tried to leave the house someone tried to stop me. No arguments for the bathroom though,” Sidney laughed weakly. <br/>“There a lot of people down there,” Charlotte sighed, carefully slipping into the empty tub and settling between Sidney’s legs. Slowly she leaned back into Sidneys chest.<br/>“Men and women come to a Thomas Parker party like moths- drawn to the whispers, champagne and shiny wealth,” Sidney said, sipping on his wine absentmindedly. </p><p>Placing his wine glass on the stool beside the bath tub, Sidney wrapped his arms around Charlotte’s waist and pulled her in tightly towards him. Charlotte relaxed in his arms as they laid in the large slipper bath tub. The only noise was the muffled jazz that came ringing from downstairs. </p><p>“How you doing?” Charlotte asked quietly as she traced her fingers over Sidney’s bare arm. <br/>“I’m living,” Sidney said tiredly.<br/>“And how are you really doing?” Charlotte said as she intertwined her fingers with his. <br/>“I’m sad. I’m more than sad but I don’t think I have the vocabulary to describe it. I feel like... my dads voice used to be the only voice I wanted in my head- to guide my decision and instincts, but now I wish I could just get it out of my head,” Sidney said, “I feel like I failed as I don’t want to hear it in his voice.”<br/>“You didn’t fail,” Charlotte sighed.<br/>“This ones on me. I slipped up. I should of check... I shouldn’t have had blind faith in Tom,” Sidney said, “and as far as Tom is concerned... I can’t forgive him anymore... not for this. Every time he’s hurt me before I’ve forgiven him but this time... tears can’t fix heartbreak. Not this heartbreak,” Sidney exhaled loudly, “I can’t believe this is real. That he pulled the rug out from underneath us.” <br/>Squeezing Sidney’s hand reassuringly, Charlotte glances at the empty bottle of wine before saying, “How can I help you Sidney?” <br/>“Just let me close my eyes and stay in your arms. I used to do that when I was a child. Close my eyes when things hurt and just fall into my fathers arms. I’d be safe there,” Sidney said.</p><p>Lifting her head to look at him, Charlotte leaned up slowly and kissed Sidney on the lips. He returned her feeling with want as he hungrily pressed his lips into hers and sucked on her bottom lip. Turning in his lap as their kiss deepened, Sidney’s hands ran along her shoulder- slowly slipping the two spaghetti straps down her shoulders, before travelling to the hem of Charlotte’s silk dress. Slipping his hands under, Sidney ran his fingers along her bare thighs. </p><p>Moving her lips from Sidney’s mouth as she sat up on his lap, her legs on either side of his hips and the feeling of his hard bulge pressed against her sensitive spot, Charlotte pressed wet kisses along Sidney’s jaw and down his neck. She sucked gently on the skin above his pulse point as she heard him moan agreeably in her ear.</p><p>Moving his hands along her thighs and ass, Sidney felt his drunken buzz leave him as he heard Charlotte moan into his skin. Slipping his hand under her underwear, Sidney slid his fingers into her slit from behind. He gently stroked Charlottes wet folds and pressed against her entrance. wanting him deeply, Charlotte moved her hips so that he would push harder against her walls. As Sidney moved his fingers further inside of her, Charlotte felt her body press into Sidneys with a desire for more. Pulling his fingers out, Sidney slipped his thumbs under the band of Charlotte’s underwear and began to pull them down. Charlotte shifted herself to accommodate him- craving to feel him inside of her. </p><p>Unbuckling his trousers, Sidney moved his hard cock out of his pants as Charlotte straddled him. Pressing her lips onto his, Charlotte bit on Sidney’s bottom lip and slipped her tongue into his open mouth. After passionately kissing him for a few minutes, she pulled away and began to trail wet kisses along his neck. As if he was reading her mind, Sidney moved Charlottes hips and placed her so the tip of his cock could slide into her wet entrance. Charlotte bit gently on his neck as she felt him deep inside of her, moaning as she felt his beating heart on her lips. The heat rushed between their bodies as Charlotte moved her hips rhythmically to drive him deeper inside of her. </p><p>Sidney’s hands trailed down her bare back as he thrusted himself into her- harder and deeper. Grabbing the back of his neck with her fingers, Charlotte pulled Sidney in closer to her and crashed her lips into his. Kissing him deeply, they moaned into each other mouths as they moved in unison. Their bodies were electric as they breathlessly shifted to the waves of their climax. </p><p>Trembling under her touch, Sidney enjoyed the way Charlottes fingers curled around his hair as he whispered her name onto her lips. Thrusting into her again, Sidney felt Charlotte’s walls tighten around his throbbing cock and pushed into her more deeply. Over and over again, he pushed himself into her with long, deep thrusts- hitting all the right spots until they were both ready to explode. Charlottes body pushed into Sidney’s as she moaned his name and felt her body cave into his- climaxing breathlessly.  Sidney came quickly after, exploding inside of her as he felt her small body indent into his. </p><p>They both sat in the bath tub for a few moments as they gathered themselves. Their breaths mingled with the sound of the never ending party downstairs- the odd shrill dancing in the air.  </p><p>Pulling up the thin straps of her dress, Charlotte fixed her appearance. Sidney did up the zipper of his trouser as he made himself a bit more presentable- though he had no intention of re joining the party downstairs. He stared at Charlotte as she patted down her dress and wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her closer to him. </p><p>“I’m going to love you for all my life,” Sidney laughed, “even if I pack us up and move us to the moon.”<br/>“Your drunk,” Charlotte said with a smile.<br/>“Let’s go home,” Sidney said, nuzzling into Charlotte’s neck. <br/>“You need to go to sleep,” Charlotte said, getting up out of the tub.<br/>“You know I alway sleep better with someone beside me,” Sidney smirked as Charlotte helped him stand up.<br/>“That’s excellent,” Charlotte smiled as she helped him walk out of the bathroom with a slight stumble, “because Henry has a spare bed in his room and he’d sure like some company.”</p><p>Sidney chuckled tiredly as he walked slowly towards Henry’s room- his arm wrapped around Charlotte’s shoulder as he tried to find his balance. As they entered Henry’s dark room- the only light being the stream of faint light coming from the hallway, Sidney and Charlotte smiled at the sound of Henry’s gentle snores as they quietly made their way to the spare bed. </p><p>Charlotte helped Sidney crash onto the bed. She walked over to the end to help remove his shoes as Sidney pulled the duvet over him. Placing the shoes neatly at the end of the bed, Charlotte turned to walk away before she heard her name. </p><p>“Charlotte,” Sidney said quietly as his eyes searched for her in the darkness before latching onto her silhouette. <br/>“Yes,” Charlotte said, siting on the bed beside him.<br/>“Let’s go away for the next two weeks,” Sidney said, “we don’t have jobs to worry about. Crowe is still in a coma but Babington can keep an eye on his for us. Maybe I’ll want to kill Tom less after the break.” <br/>“Where would we go?” Charlotte whispered. <br/>“I have a small house in Antigua- I learnt to build cars there you know,” Sidney said cheerily, “it would just be use. The windows bordered up and no one to interrupt us.”<br/>“That’s sounds like a lovely idea,” Charlotte smiled, “we can discuss it more in the morning when your sober. Get some rest.”</p><p>Grabbing her hand as Charlotte began to move away Sidney pulled her down towards him and gave her one last kiss, hungrily pressing his lips into hers before reluctantly pulling away. Running his hand through her loose curls, Sidney smiled as he felt his tired eyes begin to give way. </p><p>“This is the end of a decade Charlotte... but the beginning of a new age. I can feel it in my bones.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you all for staying with me! There two/ three chapters left so we’re almost there. As always your comments are much appreciated.</p><p>Title:<br/>Taylor Swift- Dress</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0044"><h2>44. Liability</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>3 weeks later</p><p>Sun kissed skin and shimmering blue seas had been all Sidney and Charlotte had seen for three weeks. Sidney’s home in Antigua was near the edge of the beach- secluded enough for them to get some privacy but open enough for them to not be isolated from the rest of the island. </p><p>During the first few days of their trip, the couple had mostly stayed secluded in their home- enjoying the tranquility of the island, the peace of their own company and the freedoms that came with being just the two of them (no one around to call on them or interrupt them). But the two of them weren’t a pair who could sit idly for long and once they got over the initial dreaminess of being on holiday, they itched to do something more than just got for a swim in the sea or run along the beach. Sidney showed Charlotte around Antigua- showing her the places he used to eat and the track and garage where he had learnt to hone his formula one craft after university. He also showed Charlotte the school he had set up in his fathers memory. The school aimed to provide children with the opportunity to learn subjects like maths and English, but also learn to build car engines and motoring skills. It was the one thing Sidney was most proud of. </p><p>During the days, Sidney spent most of his time tinkering around garage and helping some of the men he had originally learnt from. They were building pieces that would be shipped to teams all over the world and Sidney enjoyed seeing how they made engines and brakes from scratch. Charlotte helped at the garage sometimes- the men finding it weird to see a woman there but far more accepting of her than the men at the Parker team garage initially. However, Charlotte enjoyed teaching engineering at the school most. She had to simplify the engineering down to make it accessible to most of the learners but Charlotte enjoyed watching the children learn and create. She was most proud of the mini go kart race they held- groups of four creating mini go karts for a table race track. She had never felt as much fun at a race as she did watching the kids cars go around the table in the playground that Friday afternoon. She even smiled as she returned home to greet Sidney with a cardboard, miniature version of the 22 that one of the students had gifted her at the end of the day- a young boy having seen it in a driving magazine once and insisting he was going to have one just like it when he was old. It had shifted Sidney’s mood for the better- his heart swelling with happiness at the way his father managed to craft his way into Sidney’s life even when he thought he’d lost him for good. </p><p>The nights were spent cooking at home or drinking on the beach (Charlotte often ending up all over Sidney as time slipped away in each other’s arms) before ending up in bed together. With all the nights they were spending, Sidney felt like this was the end of all his ending- his broken bones finally mending. </p><p>Life was easy in Antigua. There were no pressures. No need to rush. Just an easiness they had never got before. </p><p>Charlotte and Sidney had enjoyed being in Antigua so much that they had decided to extend their trip indefinitely- not entirely sure what they’d be coming back for anyway. </p><p>Antigua has been the welcoming distraction both Charlotte and Sidney needed from life... but then reality hit and they both got the call that would make them return home. </p><p>Sidney’s feet hit the hospital floors quickly as he rushed through the hospital, towards the neurology department. </p><p>His flight from Antigua had landed last night after Charlotte and he had made the last minute decisions to return when Babington phoned with the good news. </p><p>Rubbing his hands together as he reached Crowe’s ward, Sidney smiled to himself. Cold England was a long way away from the sunny Antigua he had become accustomed to. </p><p>“Crowe,” Sidney smiled.<br/>
“Parker,” Crowe rolled his eyes, “so glad you could grace me with your presence.”<br/>
“Crowe, I didn’t abandon you,” Sidney said as he sat in the chair beside him, “I got on the first flight as soon as I heard.”<br/>
“Babington told me you were swanning around on the beach in Antigua before he decided to bugger off as well to London this morning,” Crowe said, “I see you chose sand over me- you’ve come back looking like a Greek god with that tan. I mean Parker, at least give us frail people a chance for some attention by not turning up looking like that. I wonder how many people stared at you on the way in. And what if I  had died whilst you were basking in the sun?”<br/>
“Don’t be so dramatic Crowe,” Sidney laughed.<br/>
“I woke up to the sight of fifty tubes and wires injected in me. I thought it was a scene out of Altered state,” Crowe exaggerated, “you and Babington could have been using me for a science experiment- wouldn’t be the first time.”<br/>
“That was a lost boys weekend where we wanted to see how drunk you were. It was a minor tube we injected and we did apologise. In our defence, Babington and I were very out of it and the guy in Monaco who gave us the idea was a doctor,” Sidney said defensively as the nurse shut Crowe’s file with a peculiar look. </p><p>Hooking Crowe’s file to the end of the hospital bed, the nurse speedily made her way out of the room- refraining from asking more about this tube in Monaco. Grabbing the cushioned visitors chair by the door, Sidney pulled it over so he could sit besides Crowe. </p><p>Sidney smiled as he sat down. He way beyond relieved to see him best friend awake- even in his cranky state. Rubbing his finger over his lip as he listened to Crowe moan about the nurses not allowing him to have any of the things he enjoyed- mainly booze and generally unhealthy fast foods, Sidney studies his  friend as he sat in his hospital bed. Crowe was talking just like he used to but his face was tired. Wrinkles had formed all over his face and he was thinner than before. Every time Crowe moved, it looked it pained him (not that Crowe would admit that) and his words would sometimes slur from exhaustion and what Sidney could only assume was the soreness of having a breathing tub stuck in his throat for the past few weeks. </p><p>“It’s been rather boring in here,” Crowe said with a loud exhale, drawing Sidney out of his thoughts, “hearing you all yap on about your problems. Charlotte and her feelings for you- will I, won’t I. Babingtons and his Esther drama- which is quite frankly a revolving door of infatuation and a futile pursuit. Then there’s you and your whining Parker. I needed a drink.”<br/>
“You heard us all?” Sidney said, raising his eyebrows.<br/>
“I was in a coma Parker,” Crowe said staring at him with a straight face, “I wasn’t dead.”<br/>
Sidney smiled softly, “I thought that just happened in films.”<br/>
“Trust me when I say I heard every word from all of you,” Crowe said, “god I wish I had a drink to make up for my woes because of it.”</p><p>Looking at Crowe with curiosity, Sidney shuffled in his seat as he wondered whether to disregard the sudden thought that crossed his mind or if he could broach the subject with Crowe. As he cleared his throat, Sidney knew he was far too curious to let this thought drop from his mind. What had Crowe heard in his coma?</p><p>“Say,” Sidney said, leaning forward a little in his chair, “if you heard everything... did Charlotte say anything about me?”<br/>
“She wouldn’t bloody stop talking about you,” Crowe groaned.<br/>
“Care to share?” Sidney asked with a raised eyebrow.<br/>
“Why did you forget how to use your words whilst I was in a coma?” Crowe said,<br/>
Before rolling his eyes, “you’d forgotten how to do that before I went into a coma actually, so never mind.”<br/>
“I’m just curious,” Sidney said defensively, “she did say she spent a lot of time sat here talking o you when she wasn’t working and I was just interested in how much that was about me.”<br/>
“Self centred much Parker,” Crowe snorted, “I’d rather slip back into that coma than share what Charlotte said with you- I’ve seen her left hook.”<br/>
“When?” Sidney asked curiously.<br/>
“One night in a bar,” Crowe said, “some creep was hitting on her and she punched him square in the face. It’s how we started our little friendship.”<br/>
Sidney laughed like a little school boy as he rubbed his hand over his face, “I want to say something appropriate back but all I’m imagining is a very sexy Charlotte all worked up.”<br/>
“Yes... I think I saw her in a different light that night too... spunky... sexy,” Crowe said, nodding his head agreeably.<br/>
“Hey,” Sidney said sternly.<br/>
“You took it there Parker and I’m not blind,” Crowe said nonchalantly. </p><p>Turning in his seat to glance out the door, Sidney could see there were no nurses or doctors about. He slid his hand into the inside pocket of his tan coat and smiled devilishly at Crowe as he pulled two silver, hip flasks out of his pocket.</p><p>“It’s good to have you back,” Sidney said as he handed Crowe a flask, “I’ve missed you so don’t you ever dare do anything that stupid again.”<br/>
Crowe unscrewed his flask with haste, “don’t you worry Parker. I found the near death experience quite disagreeable with me and shan’t be repeating the adventure any time soon. I plan to imbibed, carouse and make a general ass of myself.”<br/>
“You know imbibe and carouse are pretty much the same thing,” Sidney said, titling his head to the side.<br/>
“Drinking twice as much now Sidney- I don’t have the time to waste, and from what Charlotte said,” Crowe said, winking at Sidney, “the more I drink, the less your children will drink. Think of it as a future present from Uncle Crowe.”<br/>
“Charlotte spoke to you about that?” Sidney said, biting on his bottom lip to stop himself from smiling.<br/>
“Like I said, she told me a lot whilst I was here,” Crowe said, laughing quietly to himself, “now let’s celebrate my rebirth- to me!”<br/>
Holding up his flask to clink Crowes, Sidney smiled, “To Crowe.”<br/>
“This tastes awful,” Crowe said, having gulped from the flask with haste and now sticking his tongue out from disgust, “is this a kind of cheap whiskey? Why does it taste so awful Parker?”<br/>
“Probably because it’s sparkling juice,” Sidney laughed, “you woke from a coma yesterday- no alcohol for you.”<br/>
“And you were swimming in the sun yesterday and probably drinking out of coconut shells. You could have shared the fun,” Crowe grinned, “what have I missed in the Parker- Chief Heywood department whilst I’ve been asleep- besides what I already know that is.”</p><p>Sidney felt his cheeks turn red as he sat in his seat. Antigua had changed their relationship a lot but he wasn’t ready to share it with everyone just yet- not even Crowe. </p><p>“If you heard everything from your coma then you should already know,” Sidney said somewhat smugly.<br/>
“Don’t be bloody coy now Sidney,” Crowe said, “I wasn’t cruising around Antigua with you both for the past three weeks- especially when you said it would just be two- yeah I heard that as well before left for your flight. With you a lot can change in a day, so god only knows what’s happened in three weeks.”<br/>
Sidney laughed softly, “a lot has changed in three weeks but it’s for the better.”<br/>
“Are you a stone?” Crowe asked.<br/>
“No,” Sidney said in confusion.<br/>
“Well getting information out of you right now feels like getting a stone to bleed,” Crowe said.<br/>
“Sorry,” Sidney said, “but I don’t know how to say anything besides the fact I’m very irrevocably, completely and totally happy. It’s all very good. I can be mess but I’m still the mess that Charlotte wants,” Sidney chuckles to himself softly, “It’s odd, because everyday I feel like... in this relationship... I’m giving Charlotte all this power... and I’m loosing mine instead.”<br/>
“Is that a problem?” Crowe asked, “Because I think your in a bit deep at this point.”<br/>
“No,” Sidney said quickly with a smile, “I’ve never wanted to give myself so freely to someone before but now it doesn’t feel... I don’t feel like I’m loosing myself by giving myself away.”<br/>
“I’m pleased for you Parker. Not to be a downer or anything- I have been out of this for a couple months,” Crowe said as he sat more comfortably in his hospital bed, “but what’s happened with... Satan is what Arthur coined her isn’t it?”<br/>
“Yes he did and it’s been a week since my divorce became official,” Sidney said cheerfully, “she is the least of my current problems.”<br/>
“Satan shackle free,” Crowe said, with a low laugh, “and I thought the day would never come.” </p><p>The room settled into a comfortable silence as Sidney and Crowe sipped on their drinks- Crowe doing it more for something to keep him busy as he thought. There had been a lot of conversations he had heard whilst he was in a coma but there was one that pressed on his mind. </p><p>“I hear my 54 is gone now,” Crowe said, glancing at Sidney.<br/>
“I probably told you a lot more is gone than the 54,” Sidney said, “I probably included a lot of profanities with the list.”<br/>
“What the hell happened man? I know you said Tom was in some bad debt but I didn’t think it was that bad,” Crowe said.<br/>
“I don’t even know myself. One minute we were being investigated and the next the whole company has been pulled from under me,” Sidney said quickly and without pausing for breath, “and Tom’s acting secretive about everything- and insists I just trust him, but we all know Tom’s track record with trust. Charlotte went around this morning to see Mary and the Children. She messaged me that as soon as Tom saw her, he got up and left saying he had an important meeting he was late for. How does he still have meetings? The company ceases to exist any more. On top of which, he phoned me whilst I was away to ask if I would be willing to remortgage my house for some financial thing he needed it for- I slammed the phone down quicker than anything else.”<br/>
“Tom sounds like an absolute twat,” Crowe said, sipping on his flask (deciding that at least the disgust he had for the juice was better than the nothing he tasted in water), “punch him for me next time you see him- I’ve seen your left hook on Lost Boys weekends and they’re good as well.” </p><p>Sidney and Crowe laughed before the room settled in silence again. Sidney’s laugh had quickly turned into sadness as the reality of what he had returned to sank in. In Antigua he could just think of the car he was tinkering with or what they were having for dinner. Now he had to think of everything else. Of Charlotte. Of work. Of the company. Of Tom. </p><p>“What’s the plan now then? Start a new team?” Crowe asked, “build from scratch again?”<br/>
“I thought about it... I’ve also been offered some consultancy work but I’m not sure. Charlotte’s been offered a few really good positions so I’ll see what she does first,” Sidney said.<br/>
“Why do you have to wait for Charlotte to decide for yourself?” Crowe asked.<br/>
“All her job offers are in London,” Sidney said.<br/>
“So?”<br/>
“So?”<br/>
“You don’t have anything tying you to Sanditon Sidney. You can say your staying for your family but they’re already all over the place- with Arthur in London more often now and Diana off in Italy half the year and Tom doing whatever Tom is doing. You can say your staying because of your house - and you do have a great house, but that’s just bricks and mortar. Your business is gone. Your family can survive without you. Go to London with your girl,” Crowe said.<br/>
“We have four weeks until we have to decide anything,” Sidney said, “I’ll think about it.”<br/>
“Why? Doesn’t Charlotte need to start work soon if she accepts the position?” Crowe asked.<br/>
“Tom hasn’t released anyone from their work contract- or rather Tom agreed that everyone would work for this shell company he sold us to. Legally, Charlotte still works for them for another four weeks even though they’re not actually working,” Sidney gritted through his teeth, “I’m also technically their driver since your on sick leave. He’s hashing the details of everyone’s release or new contract with this company over a meeting apparently.”<br/>
“Why would he retain workers if he didn’t need them? Where’s this pool of money coming from that he’s paying this period of work time with? And... how does Tom have more meetings now than before?” Crowe asked.<br/>
“I would love to know,” Sidney sighed.<br/>
“Then bugger off and find out Parker,” Crowe said, holding out his flask for Sidney, “and only return that flask to me when it’s got the good stuff. They’ve already injected me with chemicals, I don’t need chemical bubbles in the flavour of some weird berry in my as well.”<br/>
Sidney laughed, “my nieces and nephews love that stuff.”<br/>
“Give it to them then,” Crowe said with distant, “now find out what Tom’s doing and report back like a good little soldier man. I need to do my work.”<br/>
“What work?” Sidney asked, fixing his jacket as he stood.<br/>
“I need to rest man,” Crowe said fluffing his pillow before lying down, “this is how I work now Parker. Resting is my work.”</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>Dragging his feet, Sidney walked into Trafalgar house with a tiredness. He was over Tom’s antics and now he just wanted answers. He had given his brother months to come clean. He’d given Tom months of his trust but nothing had come to fruition. Now Sidney needed to close this chapter once and for all, and in order to do that, he needed to know what he was closing. </p><p>Lifting his feet with more confidence, Sidney wandered straight into Tom’s office, ready with a speech in mind. His shoulders dropped when he saw the office was empty- and oddly very clean. Sidney noted that there were no papers lying around the table or stacked so high they looked like the leaning tower of Pisa. </p><p>As he looked around, snooping through (the lack of) papers around, Sidney automatically straightened up when he heard the front door crash open and shut again, before the familiar fumbling voice echoed through the house.</p><p>Sidney had thought he had grown up a bit. After closing the book on Eliza, he thought he could hand closing this chapter with the company and dealing with Tom on a business level. However, as he heard Tom’s voice booming as it got closer to him, Sidney felt the anger in him burn. Tom wasn’t a business associate. He was his brother. He knew what this company meant to Sidney. He knew how much he valued it and the legacy it was meant to leave behind and he still chopped it up into parts and sold it. </p><p>“Sidney,” Tom said, freezing on the spot.<br/>
“Thomas,” Sidney said.<br/>
“Really Sidney?” Tom said as he looked at him. </p><p>Sidney didn’t bother to respond. Instead he just shrugged at Tom. Sidney only ever referred to Tom in his full name when he was angry with him. It had been a habit he had developed when they were children- noticing his parents did it when they were being stern with him or any of his siblings (and his mother would refer to his father in his full name when she was angry with him as well). </p><p>“Welcome home,” Tom said cheerfully, “but as I told Charlotte when she popped by to see the children earlier, I don’t have the time to stay. I have a meeting,” Tom Said.<br/>
“Meeting for what Thomas? You don’t own a business, you have no shares, you have workers on holiday for some odd reason,” Sidney said angrily.<br/>
“You just need to trust me Sidney,” Tom said turning to walk to the door.<br/>
“Thomas I’m not leaving without you telling me what the hell is going on,” Sidney said sternly, “What did you do with the Parker Company Thomas?”<br/>
“I told you what I did Sidney,” Tom said, looking at Sidney dumbfound.<br/>
“Tell me again like I’m five,” Sidney exhaled, trying to remain calm.<br/>
“I dissolved the company after it became pretty much bankrupt and then sold the dissolved company,” Tom said as simply as he could.<br/>
“Sold it to Eliza?” Sidney asked for clarification.<br/>
“I sold the Parker Company to Eliza, yes,” Tom said as if it was the simplest thing in the world, “Now Sidney I must shoot off.”<br/>
“Thomas I’m not done with you,” Sidney shouted as Tom began to walk away, “Thomas!” </p><p>Tom walked towards the door with haste as Sidney followed behind him- calling Tom’s name repeatedly as his older brother continued to ignore him.  </p><p>“Thomas Parker!” Sidneys shouted loudly.<br/>
“Sidney, please do not yell on the street,” Tom said as he reached his car, opening the back door to throw his briefcase and jacket in the back.<br/>
“Thomas, why did you sell the company? Why did you see the cars? The 22? You know what that meant to me,” Sidney said, “you gave dads car to Satan- for all we know she’s burned it to the ground considering she hasn’t given it back to me yet.”<br/>
“Sidney, trust me,” Tom said calmly as he pulled the drivers door open. </p><p>It was those words that rung red in his ears and Sidney’s feelings went into over drive. Pulling Tom by his shoulder, Sidney’s frustrations poured out as his left hand balled and connected roughly against Tom’s left cheek.</p><p>Shaking his hand from the sudden sting it felt, Sidney just stared at Tom as he watched Tom’s hand instinctively go to his sore cheek- a bright shade of red now. </p><p>Gawking at Sidney from shock, Tom leaned against the open drivers door to steady himself as he considered his move for a minute. His face was sore but there was no blood and the bruising would come in an hour or so.  Tom had an important meeting he needed to attended and despite Sidney’s sudden our burst, Tom steadied himself. He patted down his trousers. He straightened his waist coat. He pushed back his hair. </p><p>“Satisfied brother?” Tom asked.<br/>
“That felt rather good actually,” Sidney muttered as he looked at Tom, “Although satisfied would not be the word I use.”<br/>
“All I ask is that you trust me,” Tom smiled tightly before turning on his heels.<br/>
“Where are you going Tom?” Sidney asked.<br/>
“Meeting Sidney,” Tom said sharply jumping into his car.<br/>
“Tom,” Sidney said, pulling on the car door handle (it was locked) before tapping on the glass, “you can’t avoid me forever, I want answers.”<br/>
“Trust me brother,” Tom said before driving off so quickly there was a trail of dust left to linger in the air. </p><p>Sidney stood there for a moment. He was furious. Yet again, Tom was running away. Sidney looked at the lingering trail for a second before his mind went into over drive. </p><p>Not today Sidney decided, quickly jumping into his Aston Martin and following speedily behind Tom dust trail.</p><p>Today, he was getting answers.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title:<br/>Lorde- Liability</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. Better</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>What has Thomas Parker been up to?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It didn’t take long for Sidneys Aston Martin to catch up with Tom’s Mercedes on the road out of Sanditon. Sidney had swerved between people, cars and traffic lights to ensure he stayed on Tom’s tail and he was certain that Tom knew he was being followed.</p><p>Tapping his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel, Sidney frustratingly stayed on Tom’s car as they drove far too fast on the wide motorway roads. They had been driving for thirty minutes now- Sidney using his hands free to call Tom multiple times but being sent straight to voicemail. The anger in Sidney was simmering as his mind flooded with more questions. Where on earth where they? Sidney thought as he looked through the windows- greenery after greenery, tree after tree. </p><p>A sharp turn later, Sidney was following the Mercedes down a winding country road before reaching a long path. As he drove down the path, Sidney couldn’t stop staring out of the front screen window of his car, at the large stadium that sat in front of him. The silver building had green, metal bars around it. Flood lights sat high up on the roof tops. Turning into a car park, Sidney quickly pulled the handbrake as he stared at the building. </p><p>Why was Tom at a stadium?</p><p>Sidney tightened his hand around his steering wheel as he decided whether or not to confront Tom now. Looking around, it was just their two cars in the car park. The rest of the space looked like it had not been touched. The tarmac ground looked freshly laid. The building was shiny and not rusted. The windows (the few that had been embedded into the metal surface) were bare. Taking a deep breath, Sidney undid his belt and got out the car when he saw Tom stepping out of his drivers seat. His adrenaline was kicking in. </p><p>“Thomas!” Sidney shouted as he practically jumped towards Tom, “we haven’t finished.”<br/>
“For goodness sake Sidney, I told you I had a meeting,” Tom said, flustered as he got his briefcase from the backseat, “I don’t have time for this. Trust me.”<br/>
“Thomas I’ll punch you square in the middle of your face if you don’t explain to me what is happening right now,” Sidney said angrily, slamming Tom’s passenger door shut (narrowly missing Tom’s hand).<br/>
“Sidney I have a meeting,” Tom said almost desperately.<br/>
“Fine I will come with you Thomas,” Sidney said, shoving his hands into his pockets.<br/>
“What?” Tom gulped.<br/>
“At this point Thomas, I’m just checking theses meetings aren’t a figment of your imagination and happening in your head. I don’t understand what you could possibly be having a meeting about considering you just told me you sold the company,” Sidney said, “I quite frankly think you’ve lost you mind and talking to imaginary people in your head.”</p><p>Playing with the buckle of his briefcase, Tom decided to weigh up his options. He had sworn to not say anything- not even to Sidney, until everything had been finalised, but he didn’t seem to have much choice right now. Looking down at his watch as he felt Sidney boring his eyes into him, Tom realised he was running far later behind schedule than he was meant to be. Rolling his neck, Tom let out a loud sigh of frustration into the open air before he fixed his waist coat and looked at Sidney. </p><p>“Firstly, stop with this Thomas malarkey okay- not cool Sidney,” Tom said, spitting each word out quickly, “My partner is going to be annoyed but you can come to this meeting with me- just be cool okay Sidney, and let me do my thing- your going to need to trust me,” Tom exhaled as he gave Sidney a once over, “I just wish you showed a little more patience... and brought a nicer pair of trousers than jeans.”<br/>
“Patience? I’ve been very patient with you Thomas,” Sidney shouted as he followed a nervous Tom closely.<br/>
“Tom,” Tom corrected, “and all I asked was for a little more.”</p><p>Entering the large stadium, Tom tapped quickly on his phone as Sidney looked around. The walls were painted white with a single red stripe running along the middle. The floors were white laminate and shiny as if they had just been polished. The smell of paint was still strong and Sidney wondered if the fumes were starting to make him go crazy- he could of sworn he’d just seen a garage through one of the windows. </p><p>Trekking up the stairs, Tom nervously glanced over his shoulder at Sidney. This was supposed to be the final meeting without Sidney. Tom had got all his ducks in a row and tonight at dinner- one that he was going to invite Sidney to last minute since he only got back from Antigua yesterday, Tom was going to make his big announcement. He was a little bummed that Sidney had stolen the shininess of his news. Tom had planned it for months and now he would just have to blurt it out as if he were slashing prices on vegetables at the farmers market. </p><p>Gripping the handle of the wooden door, Tom suddenly stopped walking and Sidney walked into the back of him from the sudden halt. Stepping back, Sidney opened his mouth to ask what was going on but Tom spoke first. </p><p>“Trust me Sidney,” Tom said, as he tightened his hand on the handle of the door. </p><p>Pulling the door open, Tom led the way into a large conference room. Sidney noted the plush carpet-like flooring and ferns scattered around the room. Stepping closely behind Tom, Sidney saw them before they saw him. He almost froze when he saw Eliza sitting at the large conference desk in the middle of the room (having naively assumed he’d never have to actually see her again). </p><p>Finding the will to move his eyes, Sidney cautiously looked further around the table to see Susan and her partner, George, sat besides each other on the other side of the square table. There was another man that Sidney only recognised in passing but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. </p><p>“Tom what’s going on,” Sidney finally managed to say, pulling on Tom’s arm as they came into view in the room.<br/>
“Sidney!” Susan said with delight.<br/>
“Susan,” Sidney said slowly, “what are you doing here?”<br/>
“Keeping an eye on this one,” Susan smiled as she turned to look at George, “it seems you were the same with Tom- delighted you could make it here.”<br/>
“Tom, you didn’t tell us you were bringing Sidney,” George said with a raised eyebrow.<br/>
“He just got off of a flight from Antigua yesterday and was so keen to spend time with his older brother that he refused to let me go since,” Tom joked nervously.<br/>
“The cat was going to get out of the bag sooner or later,” George shrugged as he played with the paper holder on his coffee cup, “shall we begin then?”</p><p>Tom and Sidney pulled out their own cushioned armchairs at the empty end of the table and sat down. Tom ran his hands over anything and everything he could as his nerves went into over drive. Sidney rested his finger over his lip as he tried to sit and read everyone, wanting to make sense of what was going on. </p><p>“Everyone this is Louis,” George said as he pointed to the man sitting alone at the other end of the table, “he is my business lawyer.”<br/>
“You work for Susan’s company don’t you,” Sidney said.<br/>
“He does and he very good with client lawyer confidentiality it would seem,” Susan smirked as she looked at George.<br/>
“Louis, the floor is yours,” George said, wrapping his fingers around Susan’s hand on the table.<br/>
Clearing his throat, the lanky young man stood up, “Thank you Mr George. As he said, I’m his business lawyer. I work at Worcester and Maudsley. I’ve been handling the case of Mr Thomas Parker and Mr George England with regards to the Parker Company which is now formally owned by Ms Eliza Campion.”</p><p>Sidney felt himself grimace at the sound of it- Parker Company owned by Eliza. He sat quietly as Louis went through more details about the deal Tom had arranged. Sidney glanced occasionally at his brother- who was leaning forward on the table (elbows pressed against the wood) and listening with the up most interest. Mostly however, Sidney kept his eyes down as he felt the tears brimming in his eyes. This was what he had mentally said he wanted. Closure on this chapter (however it may have ended) but he did not want it to happen like this. </p><p>Trying to push away his feelings, Sidney looked out of the large window for the first time and felt his breath catch in his throat as he saw the large race track outside. It looked like something out of Silverstone with its grandeur and size. Sidney imagined himself ripping around the track- the marks of the 22’s tyres the first that would mark the ground here, if the track was theirs. </p><p>“And that concludes the formal sale for the Parker Company to Ms Eliza Campion,” Louis said, pulling Sidney out of his thoughts, “Any questions?”<br/>
“When can I start making changes?” Eliza asked with a smirk as she turned to look in Sidney’s direction.<br/>
“Whenever you wish Ms Campion,” Louis said as he sat down, “It’s your company.”<br/>
“Fabulous,” Eliza smiled, “Looking through the documents, I’m keen for the Campion company to start back up as soon as possible- that’s what I will be legally changing it to. Sidney is our driver so I expect you on the track tomorrow. Perhaps we could do it here- it is a fine, purpose built track.”<br/>
“You don’t own this track Eliza,” George said, “you don’t make calls like that.”<br/>
“No I don’t,” Eliza said, “But I own the heritage site in Sanditon. Or rather, the Parker company owns the heritage site.”<br/>
“What?” Sidney said, jumping forward in his seat from shock, “Lady D sold it to you? That old woman said she’d never sell it to anyone!”<br/>
“Sorry to interject here-“ Tom began but was quickly cut off.<br/>
“I own the site Sidney and I own the staff. And with the staff, I own you,” Eliza smirked.<br/>
“To interject-“ Tom tried again.<br/>
“You can’t own people Eliza,” Sidney said sternly, “our contracts are up in three weeks and then we’ll all leave.”<br/>
“You would risk all those peoples livelihoods?” Eliza said, “I can provide them with stability and a pay check. Don’t worry though Sidney, when I get your little Charlotte back in the garage I will let her touch the cars- even if only as an apprentice.”<br/>
“You can’t do that,” Sidney gritted.<br/>
“I believe I can,” Eliza said cooley. </p><p>As the words left her mouth, Sidney felt his anger burst like a volcano from his mouth as he began to fire words at Eliza in protest. Eliza wasn’t one to take things lying down and began spewing her own venom back to Sidney- drunk on the power of owning the Parker company and her plans to dismantle it before Sidneys eyes. Tom looked at George for help as he tried to interject on many occasions but couldn’t get a word in. George just shrugged. Exhaling, Tom stood up from his seat, fixed his waistcoat and cleared his throat. </p><p>“Sorry to interject,” Tom practically shouted, “but I have something rather important to add.”<br/>
“What is it Thomas?” Sidney spat, clenching his jaw as he stared at Eliza.<br/>
“Eliza,” Tom said as he turned to look at her, “you cannot make decisions about the staff from the Parker Company.”<br/>
“Of course I can, I brought the company from you,” Eliza shrugged, “I own the company, the track, the people- and Sidney.”<br/>
“Umm... well,” Tom said as he scratched his head, “you... you don’t actually.”<br/>
“Of course I do, Louis just said,” Eliza said.<br/>
“Louis said you own the Parker Company- a dissolved company,” Tom said.<br/>
“Yes I own the Parker company,” Eliza said, her face tightening as she tried to comprehend what Tom was on about.<br/>
“You brought the registered Parker Company. It was dissolved and the assets were sold to a shell company... so all you really own is the name- the Parker Company,” Tom said nervously as Eliza stared at him with a look that could kill.<br/>
“But I purchased the Parker Company,” Eliza protested.<br/>
“And you brought the Parker Company... which had nothing and no value. I did tell you that,” Tom said.<br/>
“But the building and the people,” Eliza said angrily.<br/>
“Are a companies assets and been sold to a shell company as instructed by Mr Thomas Parker to pay off the debt,” Louis interjected but quickly looked away as Eliza shot a daggered look his way.<br/>
“When I was purchasing the company, you said the assets were for sale with the Parker Company,” Eliza said.<br/>
“No- you asked me if the assets were for sale with the purchase of the Parker company, and I said the assets are for sale and so is the Parker company,” Tom said, stepping away from his seat slowly as he noticed Eliza stand up, “we never said they were being sold together. The assets were sold separately- a bit like when I buy Henry a toy and they say in the fine print that batteries aren’t included.”<br/>
“But I own Parker company,” Eliza said loudly.<br/>
“Yes you do,” Tom said with a nervous smile, “only that’s a dissolved company worth nothing.”<br/>
Eliza fumed as she grabbed her handbag from the chair beside her, “you’ll be hearing from my lawyer!”<br/>
“I did say to do your due diligence,” Tom shouted as Eliza stormed out of the conference room. </p><p>The banging of the conference room door brought with it a sigh of relief from all parties. Sidney pushed out his chair and walked over to the ceiling to floor windows and stared out at the race track. He could hear George, Louis and Tom chatting behind him but he was far too confused to listen. Sidney tried to piece the pieces together himself but he just simply couldn’t. Were they out of the woods yet? Were they in the clear yet? Or was this a plan that was just built to fall apart? </p><p>“I don’t get it ,” Sidney said, turning around to look at them all, “what have you been up to Thomas?”<br/>
“Well George gave me the kernel at the gala back around the beginning of the summer,” Tom said, turning to look at George.<br/>
“I just said to young Tom here that instead of just participating in the races, perhaps he should own the races,” George added excitedly.<br/>
“The kernel. I took it, added some of my Tom sparkle to it and expanded what we had. I’m visionary you see Sidney,” Tom said proudly.<br/>
“I helped with the financing and scouting sites of course,” George said.<br/>
“Of course,” Tom said, nodding agreeably, “George had found this track site and it fit all the requirements for the F1 to agree to allow us to be official race holders. The people who were building this stadium wanted to sell quick so I had to raise the capital within days.”<br/>
“I wasn’t going to give him all the money,” George chuckled, “I did give him the idea after all.”<br/>
“So I borrowed against the Parker Company to buy this stadium- and then there was an issue with the insurance,” Tom said.<br/>
“And I told him he simply had to have insurance,” George said dramatically, “what if there was a disaster? Something like... I don’t know... a fire.”<br/>
“So I borrowed more money to buy the insurance but I got this place,” Tom said proudly as he looked around the conference room with pride, “I was going to tell you once the stadium had been brought and built- you’d of laughed at me if I just brought you to a sight of soil. We’re just doing the final aesthetic stuff now but it’s pretty much complete.”</p><p>Licking his bottom lip, Sidney shoved his hands into the pocket of jeans as he tried to absorb the information. Some questions were beginning to make sense. He would of shouted at Tom for buying soil. He would of told Tom to not put them in debt when they had a perfectly viable business plan. He would of also had to disclose the new purchase to Susan (and Eliza) in his divorce settlement had he known about it. That thought drew Sidney back to his burning question. </p><p>“But what about Eliza?” Sidney said in confusion, “why didn’t you just tell me you were playing her.”<br/>
“Because if you’d of not cared for her, then she’d of been extra due diligent. We all know how much she thrives off of thinking she has the upper hand. George and Louis both agreed that keeping you in the dark made the most business sense,” Tom said, “and as far as how I dealt with Eliza, that idea all came from Susan.”<br/>
“From me?” Susan said, looking at Tom wearily.<br/>
“At the gala, toy said something about how you would agree with everything George said absentmindedly up until it was time for the final decision to be made. George would be so confident he’d get what he wants, that he never bothers checking what’s happening until it’s already happened,” Tom explained.<br/>
“You trick me?”George said, looking at Susan.<br/>
“Of course not my love,” Susan said, smiling tightly as she wrapped her hand around his.<br/>
“I just had to string Eliza along and bank on the fact that she wouldn’t look at the finer details- which she didn’t. She heard she was getting the Parker Company and she was satisfied, even telling her lawyer once to just let her sign the paperwork without him checking it over,” Tom said, “I count my lucky stars she never thought to check what the Parker Company actually held.”<br/>
“Tom,” Susan said, “I never thought I’d say this, but that was actually an excellent plan.”<br/>
“He had my help,” George added.<br/>
“Of course he did dear,” Susan said to appease him. </p><p>Sidney stood there in confusion. They owned the new stadium- that’s where all the company money Tom had been borrowing went. Tom dissolved the Parker Company to sell a valueless company to Eliza- that’s why Tom had done it. But that didn’t explain the sale of their shares or the new question... this shell company. </p><p>“Wait, so if Eliza only owns the registered Parker Company and we own this stadium,” Sidney said, “who is this shell company?”<br/>
“Oh,” Tom said with excitement, putting down his tea, “follow me.”</p><p>Tom excitedly pushed his chair back and didn’t even wait for everyone to respond as he began pacing out of the room. Walking along the long corridor and down the last set of stairs on the first floor, Tom fumbled about how excited he was to show everyone this part of his plan that he had been working on with Louis for the last month. Sidney looked at the garage through the glass window as they walked past it- his mind mentally recognising many of the tools in there from the team garage in Sanditon. Stepping out onto the track, Sidney almost frozen when he was hit by the cold autumn winds (the sunny sky a mischief disguise for how bitterly cold it was outside). Halting in the middle of the track, Tom checked everyone was there before clearing his throat and throwing his hands in the air- pointing to a large sign. </p><p>“Welcome to Robin Racetrack,” Tom beamed.<br/>
“Dad,” Sidney whispered as he look at the name sat on a silhouette of the 22.<br/>
“You had the right vision Sidney but you weren’t thinking big enough. You weren’t thinking far ahead. I was thinking about forever,” Tom said as he stood beside Sidney, “this track will make us key players in the F1- just think, a Parker cup.”<br/>
“You named it after dad,” Sidney said softly, unable to take his eyes off the large sign.<br/>
“You always said this was dads dream and a dream is a wish your heart makes,” Tom said, “I think that’s what they said in the film the kids were watching the other day but... actually that’s not relevant. This track. This business. This game. This is dads dream- dads legacy.”<br/>
“You dissolved the old company to buy this one?” Sidney said.<br/>
“No,” Tom said sharply.<br/>
“You didn’t spend all that money to buy this stadium?” Sidney said in confusion, “Where did all the money for the company go then Thomas? We were nearly bankrupt.”<br/>
“To four sites,” Tom said proudly, “George managed to get us a good deal and financed most of the money but I needed to put in collateral- mostly for this one because it was under construction but there were a few building hiccups along the way. The company only had so much money but the sale of our shares gave us enough to buy all four sights and own them. All for ourselves- and paying George off on a payment plan with a very nice interest fee.”<br/>
“Four sites?” Sidney said in astonishment.<br/>
“Four sites Sidney. This one. One in Buckinghamshire which can be used as a practice site for the overspill in Silverstone and a small track with a large a garage just outside of London specifically built to manufacture the pieces for the cars from scratch,” Tom said.<br/>
“That’s three,” Sidney said, raising an eyebrow.<br/>
“We get to keep the Sanditon Heritage Site,” Tom said, “but that one isn’t ours.”<br/>
“So Eliza wasn’t talking poppycock when she said that. Who did Lady D sell it to?” Sidney asked curiously.<br/>
“You,” Tom said cooly, “or rather to me after I bit her ear off about it but it’s in your name. I know that one meant the most to you.”<br/>
Taking in the news, Sidney started laughing as he looked at Tom, “You made me watch them pack everything up from there. Broke my heart little by little. Only for me to own it. You sick bastard.”<br/>
“George said I had to,” Tom said defensively, “we couldn’t let up on rouse. And all’s well that ends well.”<br/>
“Wow,” Sidney sighed. </p><p>Roaming his eyes around the whole stadium, Sidney felt butterflies (the beautiful kind) in his stomach as he just imagined the roaring crowds swooping in to watch the races. His mind automatically took him to the thought of little children- boys and girls who would be inspired by the racers, pit crew and engineers, to become apart of the sport themselves one day. That’s what his father wanted- a passion for the races and a respect for the drive of the cars to remain. </p><p>Tom was saying goodbye to George, Susan and Louis as Sidney looked around the track. This was theirs. In fact, Tom had secured them more than just this. He had secured them an entire legacy to build on. They could really build something that was lasting. Yet there was still one thing that didn’t make sense. </p><p>“Tom,” Sidney smiled, finally able to feel himself not simmer in anger when he looked at his older brother, “ the shell company. What do they own?”<br/>
“It’s actually the shell company that owns this track. The two other facilities and all the workers, equipment and the vehicles, “ Tom said, mentally checking off the list in his head.<br/>
“So technically we don’t own any of this?” Sidney said, crossing his arms over his chest as he felt his nerves rush back, “who owns this shell company?”<br/>
“A newly registered company actually,” Tom beamed proudly, “The Brothers Parker.”<br/>
“The Brothers Parker?” Sidney asked with a small smile.<br/>
“I know that leaves Diana out of the company, but The Brothers Parker and sister or The Brothers Parker and Diana didn’t quite have the same ring to it,” Tom laughed.<br/>
“So this is all ours?” Sidney said.<br/>
“It is. The four of us have equal shares of the company- that was Diana’s only condition when she sold her shares of the old company to Eliza,” Tom explained, “We all share everything besides the Sanditon Heritage site which is yours and your alone- I forged that paperwork as well. Don’t sue me... though I could afford it now.”<br/>
“Tom, I won’t sue you. Your my brother and... you have left me speechless,” Sidney said with a soft laugh.<br/>
“I’m a visionary- people don’t always get us creative types,” Tom said nonchalantly, “come to the garage with me and I’ll get you the official paperwork.” </p><p>Strolling beside one another, Sidney felt a lightness to him as they walked to the garage. For so long he had thought his brother Tom was insane. He thought Tom did not care about the family legacy or their fathers memory the same way he did- and for the most part this was true. But this image was not the sad picture Sidney had painted and looked at through his blurry eyes. </p><p>Tom and Sidney were different people with different memories. They were bound to have skewered somewhere along the line, but Sidney knew now that he could not doubt Tom’s love for him family. It was different from his own, but being different didn’t mean it wasn’t there.</p><p>“This must have been a lot of work Tom,” Sidney said quietly.<br/>
“It was but it was worth it,” Tom smiled as he unlocked the garage door.<br/>
“A whole new company? I thought you were planning to retire soon?” Sidney said.<br/>
“I’m only 43 Sidney, got plenty of life left in these old bones,” Tom laughed, “I was only planning on retiring because I was in the position to do so but I’d miss this all too much. I really like paperwork and I want a family legacy.”<br/>
“But... You’ve never cared about a legacy before,” Sidney said.<br/>
“I never cared openly but it burned at the back of my mind,” Tom said, “we live in an odd time Sidney where girls are told they can be anything they want to be but are still not given the opportunity to make those ambitions a reality. Jenny wants to be an engineer. Alicia wants to be a race car driver. We’ve seen from Charlotte that our girls- my girls, need more role models to lookup. People like Charlotte. We’re one of a small handful of teams who have a female engineer who actually does her job. If I have to - or rather we, have to own a company to make my daughters dreams come true then so be it. It is the height of nepotism but I won’t limit the ambition of my children. Four sites. Four chances for each of them.”</p><p>Pushing up the garage door, the light beamed through as Sidney and Tom stepped into their new pit. Looking to the centre of the room, Sidney was automatically drawn to the black vehicle and froze as his lips curved into a huge smile. </p><p>“The 22,” Sidney said almost breathless from the excitement, “did Eliza drop it off here?”<br/>
“She can’t drop off what she never owned,” Tom said.<br/>
“You had it all along?” Sidney said, his voice edging with frustration.<br/>
“Not me personally but I was aware of where it was,” Tom said, “I know you think I’m an idiot but I wouldn’t sells dads car- not if I wasn’t sure we’d get it back.”<br/>
“The Parkers Brother own this then,” Sidney smiled.<br/>
“No,” Tom said, grabbing hold of Sidneys shoulder and pulling him closer to him, “you helped dad make it. Arthur, Diana and I all agreed you could have it.” </p><p>Exhaling with relief, Sidney was moved by the gesture. He had always wanted to own this car and for a few years he did. Then when he was about to get divorced, he put the car in the companies name to protect it from being sold off. Now it was his once again. His. </p><p>“Oh Sidney and one more thing,” Tom said.<br/>
“I don’t know if I can take anything else on my fragile heart,” Sidney joked.<br/>
“My shoe lace,” Tom said quietly, looking down at his feet. </p><p>Bending down on one knee, Tom began to fix the laces on his suede shoes. He had never been particularly good at laces- not even as a child. As he took his time to pull the strong properly, he could see Sidney’s foot tapping beside him and smiled. Sidney was never that patient a person. </p><p>“Whats up Tom?” Sidney said, slightly more impatiently than he should have been.<br/>
“Ah yes,” Tom said.</p><p>Putting his hand into the pocket of his waist coat, Tom pulled out a little, royal blue box and opened it to show Sidney. Sidney looked at the ring in the box with confusion. It was an oval cut emerald stone surrounded by fourteen solitaires diamond and finished in white gold. It was a ring Sidney had seen everyday of his life for 13 years until it was slipped off his mother’s hand and put into a box- not seen until now. </p><p>“Are you proposing to me Tom?” Sidney said, with a cheeky smile, “I know I’ve been divorced a week and a bit but I’m sure incest is illegal- and bigamy come to think of it. What would Mary say?”<br/>
“No Sidney,” Tom said, checking his laces once more and then standing up, “it’s mum’s ring. You know I gave Mary her own mother’s wedding ring when we got engaged but I kept a hold of our mothers ring. She always wanted one of her kids to pass it on and... I think you might want it now.”<br/>
“Why now?” Sidney asked curiously.<br/>
“Oh the business matters all settled. I’ve secured yours and Charlotte future... and Mary may have called me with the good news,” Tom smiled.<br/>
“Charlotte told her,” Sidney laughed, “We’d agreed we’d tell everyone together.”<br/>
“She did- who could hide such exciting news. You know everyone’s not as good as me when it comes to secrets,” Tom joked before smiling softly at Sidney, “Congratulations brother!” </p><p>Sidney looked at Tom for a movement before reaching out to his shoulders and pulling him into a tight hug. Despite everything that had happened in his life, Tom was alway there for him. It was them. It was the Parkers. And whatever would be coming, there was one thing Sidney knew for sure- his siblings would turn up for him, as sure as eggs are eggs. </p><p>“Now go home and enjoy your time together before real life starts,” Tom smiled, “Your expected at the company first thing Monday morning- we need to interview for new board memebers.”<br/>
“I will go home,” Sidney said.</p><p>Walking over to the 22 that was glistening from the golden sun, Sidney ran his hand along the side of it before deciding to jump in. </p><p>“But I think I’ll just christen the track first.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I read somewhere that Jane based Tom based on a successful entrepreneur and had always wondered what would happen if we let that inspiration come true. </p><p>Title:<br/>Zayn- Better</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0046"><h2>46. Thinkin Bout You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The thrill of driving around the new track had yet to wear off of Sidney as he grinned like a little school boy in a sweet shop when he entered their house. He could not wait to share the news with Charlotte- the decisions of their future feeling lighter on his shoulders as he felt like a fresh page on the desk (ready to fill in the blanks as he went).</p><p>“Charlotte, I’m home,” Sidney called, throwing his coat onto the coat stand as he listened out for her.<br/>
“In the spare room,” Charlotte shouted back, her voice echoing through the house. </p><p>Taking the steps two at a time, Sidney tried to contain his excitement as he made his way to the spare room but he couldn’t help it- he wasn’t sure if there was a choice, getting swept away in all the excitement. The jet lag had kicked in earlier when he was at Trafalgar house but now Sidney was full of beans- the adventures of the day recharging his batteries. </p><p>Reaching the spare room, Sidney leaned against the wooden door frame as he watched Charlotte (dressed in a lace trimmed, silk night dress) finish emptying the bags from their trip. His smile warmed as he watch her place the cardboard 22 onto the bookshelf in the room- fully aware that it would be something they would both treasure for a long time now as it preserved his newest favourite memory. </p><p>Turning around to the bed and zipping the suit cases shut, Charlotte was about to lift them up and put them back in the wardrobe until Sidney stepped in the room. </p><p>“I’ll put them away later,” Sidney said as he walked towards her, “How are you?” 
</p>
<p>”Tired,” Charlotte said, “and hungry but nothing is staying down.”</p><p>Taking her by her hand, Sidney pulled Charlotte towards him and kissed her on her forehead as Charlotte wrapped her arms around his waist. </p><p>“Your home late,” Charlotte said, resting her head against his chest.<br/>
“I followed Tom,” Sidney said, his tone rising as he smiled at Tom’s name.<br/>
“Crowe did mention it when I went to see him earlier,” Charlotte said, looking up at him with a raised eyebrow, “what happened? Did he decide he wasn’t actually having a marvellous time ruining everything?”<br/>
“He’s actually thinking of throwing another party that will be tasteful if not a little loud,” Sidney said, trying to not break into a goofy smile but failing.<br/>
Charlotte said with a soft smile, “You look extremely happy.”<br/>
“I am extremely happy,” Sidney said, standing in the middle of the spare room and almost swaying with Charlotte in his arms, “For once in my life I should have trusted Tom.”<br/>
“Why?” Charlotte said.<br/>
“He saved the company,” Sidney said.<br/>
“What?” Charlotte said, looking at Sidney with a raised eyebrow, “how?” </p><p>Turning to stand behind Charlotte, Sidney wrapped his hands around her waist and began to lead Charlotte to their bedroom. Charlotte wrapped her hands around his arms as they walked, sceptical of what she was about to hear. </p><p>“It’s a long and complicated story- one I’m still trying to fully wrap my head around myself but he sold the Parker company to start the Brothers Parker company and now the four of us own three race tracks and garages,” Sidney said with giddiness.<br/>
“Wow,” Charlotte said, too lost for words as she walked barefoot into their bedroom, “that certainly... surprising.”<br/>
“It is because he told me to trust him and I just,” Sidney said, shaking his head.<br/>
“Didn’t believe him,” Charlotte finished.<br/>
“Yeah, I didn’t believe him. All my life Tom has played these stupid games, and won stupid prizes that were really worth nothing, but today he pulled it out of the bag. Even when he told me everything was going to be okay... better than okay, I thought it was a hoax- that he was going to tell me he was playing a joke on me,” Sidney said.<br/>
“Love is a powerful emotion Sidney,” Charlotte smiled, “Especially when you love someone in your family- it can make you irrational but Tom clearly always meant well. I’m glad it’s all worked out and now you can take his words for what they are- mercurial high, because I’m sure he’ll work you hard for your new role.”<br/>
“I’m so ready to get back to work but the three companies isn’t even the best part of today,” Sidney smiled as he looked down at Charlotte, “The Sanditon Heritage Site, my dads first stomping ground, that’s mine... mine. I can see my nieces and peters and my own kids grow up in the track their grandfather fixed his first car on. I don’t have to lose my dad after all.”<br/>
“Oh Sidney,” Charlotte said, turning in Sidney’s arms and tightening her arms around his waist, “you weren’t ever losing him.”<br/>
“I know,” Sidney said, “I just... it’s feels like as the autumn comes in, the leaves are falling like pieces into place.” </p><p>Glancing up at him, Charlotte pushed herself up on her tip toes to kiss Sidney on his lips. She was really happy for him- knowing that the loss of the company had been tearing him up for weeks. </p><p>Grabbing hold of Charlotte by the waist, Sidney pulled her closer to him as he deepened their kiss- his lips sipping on hers as he opened his mouth and let her tongue dip into his mouth. </p><p>“Did you agree to go to Tom’s this evening?” Sidney asked as he moved his lips to Charlotte’s neck.<br/>
“I wouldn’t be dressed like this if we were going out,” Charlotte said, as she closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation her body felt as Sidney sucked on the skin just above her pulse point. </p><p>Laughing, Sidney tightened his hands around Charlotte’s waist and lifted her up. Charlotte wrapped her legs around his waist as Sidney carried them to sit on the edge of their bed. As Sidney sucked gently on her neck- trailing her skin with wet kisses to leave a mark on her like a golden tattoos. Charlotte’s hand slipped under Sidney’s dark blue polo shirt. Her fingers ran over his twitching muscles as she slipped the shirt up and over his head. </p><p>Glancing into her eyes for a moment, Sidney couldn’t help but smile as he remembered getting lost in the memories of her over the last few months- time had slipped away like a bottle of wine from them but each one had been so worth it. With a grin, Sidney began drinking from her lips and slipped the silk night dress Charlotte was wearing down her shoulder- exposing her bare breasts. Sidney grabbed Charlotte’s breast and took her hard nipple between the tips of his fingers. Pulling his lips from hers, he trailed down the bare skin of her neck and gently wrapped his tongue around her hard nipple. Sucking gently on the soft skin of her breast, Charlotte moaned as Sidney gripped her waist, and pulled her even closer to him. </p><p>Grabbing onto his neck, Charlotte pulled Sidney’s face to hers and gently kissed his lips. She was pleased when he pressed his body with more need into hers and devoured her lips with his mouth. </p><p>Holding her more tightly around the waist, Sidney tried to lift Charlotte up so he could free himself of his trousers- eager to feel her more deeply as her hips pressed further into his. Charlotte had other plans though. Pressing her hands against his shoulders, she slowly leaned him down onto the bed. Only once he was lying down and Charlotte was siting completely on top of him, did she move her lips off of his and look into his eyes with a dark look. </p><p>Slowly, Charlotte trailed wet kisses down Sidney’s neck. She gently sucked on his bare skin as she slid down his chest, to his stomach and then his hip bone. Tugging on his jeans, Charlotte kissed the skin around Sidney’s hard cock as his jeans and boxers moved down his hips, thighs and then down to his ankles. Gently, she lowered her head and let her warm breath brush over him- a soft moan escaping his mouth. </p><p>Charlotte slowly licked along his hard cock and Sidney’s breath caught in his throat as he felt Charlotte’s lips close around his sensitive tip. Charlotte’s tongue circled around him and gently she licked at his tip before sucking him deeper and deeper into her mouth. Sidney moaned and whimpered all at once, as Charlotte’s fingers gently rubbed along his thighs. </p><p>As Charlotte moved her mouth along his length, Sidney felt like he was unable to keep himself together- he wanted her more far more intimately than this. Sidney grabbed Charlotte lightly by her hair and pulled her up towards him. Charlotte moved her small body onto his and felt his beating heart under her finger tips as he breathlessly kissed her.</p><p>Wrapping her in his arms, Sidney licked Charlotte’s bottom lip before slipping his tongue into her mouth. Intertwining their tongues, Sidney sucked on Charlottes tongue. Flipping her over on the bed, Sidney searched her mouth with need as he pressed her hands into the bed beside her head.</p><p>As Charlotte moaned, she pushed her head back into the bed. Sidney took the chance to let his tongue slide down her neck to her navel until he reached the waistband of her underwear. He slowly kissed the skin around her underwear as he dropped his hands on her thighs and spread her legs wider. Moving his fingers along the band of her underwear, Charlotte groaned when she felt him planting wet kisses on her thigh and arched her back as she felt his tongue slid up the inside of her bare skin until he reached her underwear. </p><p>Sliding his fingers under the black, transparent fabric of her underwear, Charlotte lifted her hips as she yearned to be closer to him. Pulling the underwear over her ankles, Sidney threw them absentmindedly behind him. Looking down at her, Sidney’s heart was racing from desire as he slowly lowered his head and planted wet kisses on her now exposed skin. Charlotte moaned as she felt his hot breath on her bare skin and felt the electric touch of his fingers trailing over her thighs. </p><p>Planting sweet kisses on her most intimate of places, Charlotte closed her eyes as she enjoyed the feeling of Sidney kissing her bare skin. Sliding over her skin gently, Sidney moved his head to plant kisses on Charlotte’s stomach as his fingers moved to her wet entrance. He kissed Charlotte’s skin tenderly as his fingers gently slid over the whole length of her slit. Using his thumb, he spread her folds open even further before moving his head down between her thighs. He dipped his tongue straight into her entrance- Charlotte moaning out loud as he pushed his tongue deep inside her. Moving slowly, Sidney moved his tongue so he could circle around Charlotte’s entrance. Charlottes loud moans only made him move more eagerly around her entrance. </p><p>Breathless, Charlotte’s burned to feel every inch of him on top of her. Pushing her fingers through the curls of his hair, she was about to pull him towards her but as she felt the tip of his tongue lick the length of her wet slit, Charlotte loosened her fingers and moaned from pleasure. Taking her delicate folds between his lips, Charlotte arched her back as Sidney sucked gently on them. </p><p>As the electric surges settled through her body, wrapped her fingers through his loose curls, and tugged on Sidney’s head as he glided his rough beard against her soft skin. Reaching her mouth, Sidney pressed his lips into hers roughly. They laid there in each other embrace for a while, kissing passionately as they searched each other’s mouths. As they pressed their lips into each other’s, Charlotte lovingly stroked Sidney’s body with her hands. Slowly, she trailed her hand along his spine to his hair before wrapping her fingers in his hair and pulling him closer to her.  </p><p>Tugging on his hair, Charlotte moaned as she longed to feel him inside of her. Charlotte wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. She could feel Sidney’s hard cock between her thighs as she moved her hips into his. </p><p>Planting kisses on the crook of her neck, Sidney slowly ran his hands over her thighs as Charlotte pulled him closer to her. Sidney ran the top of his cock through her wetness before Charlotte lifted her hips towards him so he was at her entrance. They both let out a mingled moan as Sidney thrusted into her and buried his entire length in her wetness. Loving each other slowly and tenderly, Sidney thrusted into Charlotte over and over again, hitting a special spot deep inside of her. </p><p>Wrapped in each other’s arms, Sidney and Charlotte kissed each other deeply as they moaned into each other’s mouths. Sidney continued to thrust into her, hard and slow as their fingers intertwined on the mattress beside Charlotte’s head. Thus panted breathlessly as they moved to the beat of the other. Thrusting deep into her again, Charlotte whispered Sidney’s name as she climaxed- her legs wrapping around his as she willed him to keep going. Sidney climaxed soon after and after he came undone, he felt beside Charlotte on the bed. Pulling Charlotte’s body towards him, they both laid their catching their breaths- their chests moving up and down quickly as they looked at each other. </p><p>Their limbs became tangled as they settled in between the duvet of their bed. Charlotte suddenly felt washed over from tiredness as she twirled her fingers through Sidney’s hair. </p><p>“Today was a good day,” Sidney said as she trailed his finger over Charlotte’s bare skin.<br/>
“I’m glad,” Charlotte said sleepily, “it was good to see Crowe again. I missed him.”<br/>
“Did you tell him as well?” Sidney said with a raised eyebrow as he began to draw circles around her stomach, “because Tom said Mary was very excited but I thought we agreed not to say anything yet.”<br/>
“Hey,” Charlotte said dramatically, “Mary made some fish thing and the smell just didn’t sit right. I had to explain why I was vomiting in her bathroom from one whiff somehow and it’s was clear I wasn’t drunk.”<br/>
“I don’t mind,” Sidney said, resting his hand on her stomach, “I’m too happy to care.”<br/>
“So our plans to pack our bags, and a sweater and move to India forever. I guess we can call it off,” Charlotte said softly.<br/>
“I think we’ll be quite happy in Sanditon now,” Sidney said, drumming his fingers gently on Charlottes bare stomach, “I heard interesting things about your new boss.”<br/>
“If he’s not nice, I could always sleep with him,” Charlotte said in almost a whisper as she closed her eyes, “I think we can make him be a bit more understanding of my pregnancy for sure.”<br/>
“I don’t know,” Sidney said, “he might might not even let you hold a screwdriver just to be on the safe side- the doctor did say  no heavy lifting.”<br/>
“Not working on engines in Antigua because it was the first three weeks of my pregnancy is one thing Sidney, but now I’ll throw that screw driver at your head if you stop me working,” Charlotte said, settling into the bed.<br/>
“I’m sure we can come to some sort of agreement,” Sidney laughed softly as he rested his whole palm on Charlottes stomach and wondered about the life that was growing inside.<br/>
“I’m sure we can, but before I get nightmares from being so jet lagged, this mama to be needs sleep,” Charlotte murmured as she rubbed her face in her pillow.<br/>
“In this story Charlotte my dear, the monsters turn out to be just trees and when sun comes up...I’ll be looking at you, because I love you to the moon and to Saturn and one day I’m going to tell our little baby about how much I love you, like a folk song,” Sidney said.</p><p>Glancing up from her barely visible bump, Sidney almost laughed at himself as he saw Charlotte completely out of it- sleeping deeply and breathing heavily as she did. Leaning down, Sidney kissed Charlotte on the cheek before slowly moving down to kiss her stomach. </p><p>“I’m the luckiest guy in the world.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so for all your feedback. I really do appreciate it. </p><p>One more chapter to go</p><p>Title:<br/>Frank Ocean- Thinkin Bout You</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0047"><h2>47. You Got The Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Four years later</p><p>Rubbing his eyes, Sidney frustratingly worked through the neatly stacked pile of never ending paper work on his desk. </p><p>Sat in his office in the Sanditon Heritage Site- the blinds drawn down so he would not get distracted by the guys in the garage, Sidney tried to focus on the order forms and race permit applications. However, his mind kept wondering home. To Charlotte and his little boy. It had been quite the four years with many nights spent barefoot in the kitchen, creating sacred new beginnings as their lives kept changing- and the couple tried to find more hours in the day just for themselves. </p><p>It was coming up to their third wedding anniversary and Sidney couldn’t help but think of the gift he had ordered that morning. He had asked their son a few mornings ago if he had any ideas- little Robin occasionally dropping a genius thought. Over a boys breakfast, Robin had drawn a balloon with a picture of their family in it. Sidney had taken the idea and excitingly combined it with a childhood memory of his own- ordering Charlotte a custom made snow globe with the two of them stood in the middle as confetti landed around them. When the small gold key was turned, für Elise would play and the two people moved around as if they were dancing and automatically, Sidney remembered their wedding day. It was the best night and Sidney would never forget how they moved. He was talking crazy as he danced with Charlotte, just imagining the infinite possibilities of their future. Little did he know how much of it would become true in the years to come. </p><p>The four years had not all run smoothly and there were many times Charlotte and he stormed out in the middle of the night- too angry or upset to talk rationally. But marriage was never going to be easy. Marriage was hard because life was hard. Relationships were hard. Parenting was hard. Work was hard. And the two of them were juggling it all. </p><p>Their marriage required work and wanting, but luckily for them, they knew they belonged with each other so they were both willing to wrap themselves in wool to brave the seasons and, stayed to accept the imperfections and blind spots of their other half with a tremendous amount of love and patience. Sidney was the one who made Charlotte laugh when he knew she was about to cry and Charlotte was the one who knew his favourite songs and who he whispered all his dreams to at 2 am. Marriage was at times hard but there was never a doubt in either of their minds that they didn’t want to stay together. Not just for the sake of their little family, but for magnetic force they felt from each other. </p><p>Sidney had once believed love was burning red- a blurred line between hot headed anger and fiery, passionate love, but love... love was golden. </p><p>The sound of knocking on his office door, drew Sidney out of his thoughts as he straightened up in his chair and flicked the page in the file onto the next one. </p><p>“Come in,” Sidney said tiredly, as he started skimming the through the page of their permit application. <br/>“Sorry to disturb Mr Parker but I have the plans drawn up for the new car that you wanted,” she said softly. </p><p>Sidney instantly dropped the pen in his hand and looked up with a smile. As she strolled towards him with rolled up papers in her hand, Sidney turned in his chair so she could stand besides him. Charlotte was a very welcome relief.</p><p>“I think you’ll like,” Charlotte said, putting the car design sketches on the desk in front of Sidney as she squeezed his shoulder. <br/>“I don’t know,” Sidney said, glancing at them and placing his hands on Charlottes hips to draw her into his lap, “You’ll have to ask Mrs Parker and her little engineer if they agree.”<br/>“Oh I think Mrs Parker agrees,” Charlotte laughed, “your little monster, I couldn’t say thought. He tried to scribble green crayon on it this morning so maybe he was trying to tell me something.” <br/>“Why is he always just mine when he’s a little monster?” Sidney chuckled. <br/>“Because the naughty side is definitely all you,” Charlotte said as she sat more comfortably in his lap, “I’m too sweet to have made that.” </p><p>Laughing, Sidney pulled Charlotte by the waist and pressed her body into his. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Charlotte pressed her lips into Sidney’s- kissing him passionately as they both devoured each other’s lips for a few moments.</p><p>“What brings you down here today besides wanting to see you amazing husband?” Sidney asked, as he pulled back and admired Charlotte. <br/>Charlotte giggled, “humble as alway Sidney,” she pecked him softly on the lips, “the little monster was driving me crazy and Mary could only have him so long whilst I was at my appointment.” <br/>“I wish I could of come but-“<br/>“You had a meeting with a new investor and couldn’t get out of it,” Charlotte finished, rubbing her thumb softly against his cheek, “I get it and I’d of been very disappointed if you missed your new brand sponsorship meeting just to accompany me to a scan to see a tiny avocado. Plus I have the pictures.” <br/>“I still wanted to be there. I was there for everything with Robin,” Sidney said, tucking a strand of Charlotte’s hair behind her ear. <br/>“As long as your in the delivery room, I really am fine,” Charlotte smiled. <br/>“So you can use me as a human punching bag again?” Sidney smirked. <br/>“Who told you to tell a birthing woman to just relax and push when she’s in excruciating pain and trying to relax and trying to push?” Charlotte said with a raised eyebrow, “you deserved it.” <br/>Sidney chuckled softly, “Where is our little monster?” <br/>“Little Robin saw Uncle Crowe and ran as fast as he could,” Charlotte said, “I was slightly worried about leaving them together but I saw Leroy, so I think we’ll be okay.”<br/>“It’s Crowe, he won’t do anything to Robin,” Sidney said, moving the sketches onto the neat pile to his left. <br/>“Oh I’m not worried about what Crowe will do, it’s all about how he will do it. I saw Robin at the breakfast table the other day sipping on his water bottle as if it were a hip flask and trying to flirt with his teddy bears by using racing pick up lines,” Charlotte laughed.<br/>“Wait,” Sidney said with a raised eyebrow as he looked at Charlotte, “so Robin is preoccupied with Crowe?”<br/>“You know those two are thick as thieves so we’ve probably lost Robin to him for a while,” Charlotte sighed. </p><p>Brushing his fingers through Charlotte’s hair, Sidney pulled her closer to him and crashed his lips into hers. Biting on her lower lip, Sidney gently sucked on it until he felt Charlotte opens her lips slight. Dipping his tongue into her mouth, he intertwined his with hers. They stayed like this for a while- time slowing down as if they were paralysed by it. </p><p>“What are you doing?” Charlotte giggled as Sidney moved his lips down her neck.<br/>“What I planned to do this morning had that little monster not come into our bedroom at six o’clock- I love him but he’s a bit of a cock blocker,” Sidney said quickly as he began to suck on the skin of her neck. <br/>“Yet you still managed to get me knocked up again,” Charlotte laughed. <br/>Pulling back from her for a moment, Sidney looked at Charlotte with a smirk and said, “It may not be regular but I am efficient.” <br/>Charlotte closed her eyes and stretched her neck, as Sidney pressed his lips against her soft skin, “in your office though?”<br/>“I gotta do what I gotta do Charlotte,” Sidney said, as he sat Charlotte on his desk and stood up to kiss her more deeply. </p><p>Charlotte laughed against his lips as she remembered all the times she had been red lipped and rosy checked in Sidney’s arms- the many places they had been, yet her favourite memories still those in their secret oasis. </p><p>She recalled the many times she would find Sidney’s hands in her hair and their clothes on the floor in their room. They would be tangled up in each other all night as Sidney’s familiar voice whispered his most intimate thoughts into the darkness of the night and the daylight of the new day. Those memories followed Charlotte around frequently and always put a smile on her face. Everything was very different once Robin had arrived. </p><p>Pressing her hands against his chest, Charlotte gently pushed Sidney away, “lock the door. I’m a mother now. I can’t be found in compromising positions and be accused of sleeping with my boss.”</p><p>Chuckling, Sidney walked over to the door speedily and locked the door. He double checked all the blinds were down before he made his way back over to Charlotte. </p><p>Charlotte sat on his desk as he stood between her thighs. Sidney gripped her cheeks with his hand and gently stroked her soft skin with his thumb. Lifting her head to his, Charlotte shut her eyes, opened her lips slightly and without hesitation, Sidney lowered his head to let his tongue slide into her mouth. Charlotte gently trailed her fingers down Sidney’s waist and caressed his ass through his overalls as she pulled him closer to her. </p><p>Deepening their kiss as Sidney moved closer between her legs, they both moaned into each other’s mouths. Charlotte let her hand trail up Sidney’s body and her fingers made quick work of the zip of his overalls. Pushing the top down his shoulders, Charlotte slid her hands down his bare skin and into his boxers- her fingers encircling his hard cock, sliding down his entire length and releasing a deep moan from Sidney’s lips into hers. Sidney was desperate to feel Charlottes warm body against his and pulled Charlottes body more closely into his- his tongue intertwining with hers as he passionately kissed her. </p><p>Sidney continued to kiss Charlotte as he slid her ass along the desk so she was sat at the edge. Slowly his hands slid over the fabric of her dress- down her neck and sides until he ran them over her breast with his thumb. Continuing to travel down her body with his hands, Sidney reached for the hem of her dress and pulled it over her head desperately as he pulled back his lips from hers. Once the dress was thrown aside, Sidney lowered his mouth to Charlottes skin-planting wet kisses on the skin of her neckline while his hands slide under the thin fabric of her bra and onto her bare skin. Pressing his lips along her collarbone, Sidney made quick movements, and freed Charlotte from her bra and ran his fingers over her underwear, between her legs. </p><p>Dropping his head further down her skin, Sidney closed his lips around her breast. His hot breath brushed against her skin as he sucked on her hard nipple. Charlotte moved her hand between the curls of his hair as she moaned (trying and failing from being too loud). Sidney slid the tip of his tongue over her hard nipple and slowly licked around it as his other hand gently clasped around her other breast and he massaged her gently. As she moaned, Charlotte moved her hips up slightly so she could press them into Sidney’s. Sidney moaned himself and moved his hands from her breast to her bare thigh. </p><p>Sidney made circles with his fingertips as he moved his hands to the waistband of her underwear. Charlottes whole body trembled as she enjoyed his touch- loving and so arousing. As Sidney trailed wet kisses over her stomach, towards her sensitive area, Charlotte watched him with half- open eyes as Sidney got down on his knees in front of her. Charlotte reached out her hand to push the things on Sidney’s desk off before she laid back. Lifting her hips, Charlotte whimpered as Sidney slipped her underwear off her ankles and his hot breath lingered over her sensitive skin. </p><p>Sliding his mouth down from her hips, Sidney pressed his lips against Charlotte’s folds and Charlotte moaned his name out loud. Opening his mouth, Sidney dipped his tongue into her slit and groaned loudly with desire. Charlotte breathlessly cried his name and Sidney gripped her hips with his hands as he gently licked her. He circled his tongue around her folds until he could feel her pulsing, and then sucked her sensitive skin in his mouth. Charlotte lifted her hips- wanting more, and Sidney moved his tongue towards her wet entrance and again licked slow circles. Charlotte reached her hand into his hair with desperation as she moaned his name. Her body was aching from desire. </p><p>Entering his tongue inside her, pushing it completely into her entrance, Charlotte almost screamed Sidney’s name. Over and over, Sidney pushed his hot tongue into her wet warmth and Charlotte quickly felt her walls tighten. Licking her inner walls, Sidney gripped her hips more tightly as Charlotte felt herself come undone. Sidney gently sucked her pulsating walls until Charlotte’s walls loosened and calmed. </p><p>Charlottes fingers tightened around Sidneys curls and she immediately pulled his head up to hers and pressed her lips into his greedily. </p><p>Climbing onto the table and on top of her, Sidney tenderly stroked a few strands of stray hairs from Charlotte’s face. Running his thumb over her red, lower lip, he gently leaned forward to kiss her. Charlotte rested one hand on his neck to pull him closer to her and the other laid on his chest- his racing heart beating against the skin of her fingertips. </p><p>Sliding his hand down the side of her body as their tongues intertwined, Sidney gently touched her until his fingers laid on her thighs. Spreading her legs even further for him, Sidney shifted comfortably between her- getting even harder as the seconds passed. Bowing his head, Sidney slid his tongue over the valley between Charlottes breasts. Charlotte moaned and arched her back as she felt him suck on her skin. </p><p>Enclosing her legs around his body, Charlotte pulled Sidney in closer to her and could feel his hard cock linger near her wet entrance. Pressing his forehead against hers, Charlotte ran her fingers over his rough beard as she pushed her hips into his. Sidney dipped his tongue into her mouth and for a moment, the two of them were lost in a sensual kiss. Running his hand over her body, Sidney grabbed Charlottes ass and lifted her closer to him. </p><p>Positioning himself carefully over her, Sidney pushed the tip of his cock gently into her as their mingled breaths moaned in the air. Pressing his hands into the desk beside her head, Sidney thrusted into her again and again- moving gently and with passion. Wrapping her hands around his shoulders and digging into the muscles on his back, Charlotte licked his bottom lip before she slid her tongue into his mouth and explored him with her tongue. Over and over again, Sidney hit the right places deep inside Charlotte as they moaned breathlessly in each other’s mouths until they both came, completely undone. </p><p>Dropping his head into the crook of her neck, Charlotte and Sidney both let their breathless breaths mingle in the air as their racing chests moved up and down. </p><p>“This feels like home, can we just stay here,” Charlotte moaned softly as Sidney began to get off of her. <br/>“Our little monster is out there so I’m afraid as much as I’d like to stay here, we can’t,” Sidney said softly, pressing his lips on Charlottes forehead as he helped off the desk. </p><p>Throwing their clothes on quickly, Charlotte kissed Sidney slowly once more, before they stepped out of his office. Walking through the empty garage (it was 5pm on a Friday), Charlotte wrapped her arm around Sidney’s waist. </p><p>Charlotte and Sidney giggled from giddiness as they walked towards the track where they smelt that familiar burnt rubber smell. </p><p>Greeting Leroy with a quick hello, the pair looked out at the track as they saw the 54 out on the track. It wasn’t going as fast as usual and it gave Charlotte a chance to look at Leroy and around the garage for a moment, before realising why the car wasn’t zipping around the track. </p><p>Resting her head on Sidney’s arm, the pair watched the car circle around the lap for four more laps before slowing down as it pulled into the pit. Charlotte smiled as Sidney cheered, clapping his hands profusely as they looked at the two bodies squeezed into the formula one car.</p><p>Carefully picking the little boy up by his waist and putting him down beside the car, Crowe stepped out of the formula one car himself and bent down to help the little boy with taking off his helmet. Unclasping his own, Crowe threw both helmets in the drivers seat of the formula one car and took the little boys hand in his own as they walked towards the garage. Bouncing along the tarmac, the little boys loose brown curls (just like his fathers) glistened almost ginger in the golden sun, as he jumped into his own little folding chair. Crowe dug into the pockets of his overalls before falling into the larger seat beside little Robin’s. Holding two hip flask in his hands, Crowe undid the caps before passing the smaller red one to Robin and smiled. </p><p>“Cheers,” Crowe said, holding out his silver flask. <br/>“Cheers!” Robin said with excitement as he hit his flask against Uncle Crowe’s before taking a big sip. </p><p>Charlotte and Sidney laughed. Letting go of Charlotte’s hand, Sidney strolled over to the seated pair whilst Charlotte caught up with Leroy- her morning sickness had returned with a vengeance (one of the things she did not miss about her pregnancy) and she had missed a lot of days of work. </p><p>“What are you giving my son after a race Crowe?” Sidney asked as he approached them.<br/>“It’s the best Dadda,” the little boy said with excitement, bouncing in his seat as he sipped on it. <br/>“It’s just some fizzy juice for both of us,” Crowe said, rolling his eyes, “I got that trick from you dad young Robin.” <br/>“It better be,” Sidney laughed. </p><p>Bending down a few steps away from the pair, Sidney opened his arms wide as Robin pushed his flask into Crowe’s hand and ran towards his father- practically jumping into his arms. Sidney wrapped his hands around his little boy and gave him a big, wet kiss as he stood up with Robin in his arms. </p><p>“Dadda did you see me?” Robin said with excitement as he tapped his hand against Sidney’s shoulder, “I going so fast.” <br/>“You were going very fast,” Sidney smiled before looking over at Crowe with a questioning look. <br/>“This car,” Robbie said pointing at the 54, “looks just like my car.” </p><p>Robbie held up the toy car he had gripped since he‘d left the house-the maroon exterior with a single white stripe going down the middle of the hood.</p><p>“I think Uncle Crowe might have got you that toy on purpose,” Charlotte said as she walked towards them, “what have you beastly boys been up to?” <br/>“Mama,” Robin said, almost jumping out of Sidney’s arms towards Charlotte.<br/>“I’m going to pretended I’m not offended by that,” Sidney said as he helped adjust Robin in Charlotte’s arms. <br/>“Don’t worry Parker,” Crowe snorted, “you can always try again with the next one.” <br/>“Uncle Crowe let me drive car,” Robbie said excitedly.<br/>“To clarify I drove,” Crowe said, standing up and pushing his flask into his pocket, “I’m not insane.” <br/>“Doctors might beg to differ,” Sidney laughed. <br/>“I’m not concerned about the car,” Charlotte said Robin rode his fingers through Charlottes hair, “Leroy sent me the specs last night and I checked them over a number of times.” <br/>“Of course you did,” Crowe said, “Robbie I’m testing the 66 next, want to join me?”<br/>“Uncle Crowe!” Robin shouted as he tried to leap out of Charlotte’s arms.</p><p>With a soft laugh, Charlotte put Robin down on the ground so he could run after Crowe and follow him into the garage. Turning around once Robin was fully out of sight, Charlotte looked at Sidney. He was staring out at the race track, hands stuffed in the pockets of his overalls, and just looking around. For a moment, Charlotte just studied his face. He looked at peace. </p><p>Glancing at his eyes, Charlotte felt herself get lost as rested her hand on her four month bump and just smiled. Hearing the chuckles of her little boy from the garage and watching Sidney as he smiled, Charlotte felt as if she had been sleeping in a twenty year dark night until now... where everything felt like daylight. None of the trials, tribulations or stresses really mattered anymore. She was surrounded by the things she loved- Sidney, Robin, her expectant child. She was defined by the things she loved- her ability as an engineer and the force she brought on the pit crew and her brains in the design room. She was truly, absolutely and fully content. </p><p>Wrapping her arms around Sidney’s waist, Charlotte smiled as she looked up at him. The Parker team and thrived over the past four years- Crowe their lead driver and Charlotte their Chief engineer. Charlotte had admired the way Sidney had taken control from all sights- and liked that Tom, Arthur and Diana all trusted him to do so. Sidney had made life his own- every sky was his own kind of blue, and Charlotte was happy that he was so content when everything was so lost once. </p><p>“Penny for your thoughts Mr Parker?” Charlotte said. <br/>Sidney exhaled and smiled as he looked down at her, “Mrs Parker.  I still can’t believe that little Robin is running around on the same ground as his grandfather. The two of them would have been worse than Robin and Crowe.”<br/>“I don’t doubt it,” Charlotte said, rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb. <br/>“I love this. Our little life. Our family... who knows if you never showed up what could have been,” Sidney said, lowering his head to kiss her on the lips, “I love you Charlotte.”<br/>“I’m glad you do,” Charlotte whispered against his lips, “because I love you too and you promised me a once in twenty lifetimes kind of love. I’m still cashing in on that.”<br/>“Charlotte don’t you worry about that. Our love is a great love and they’ll still be writing pages about us when we’re gone,” Sidney said. </p><p>Looking over his shoulder, Sidney smiled as he heard Robin screeching from laughter in the garage as he watched Crowe chase him around the cars. </p><p>“Let’s go get our little monster and go home,” Sidney said, pulling Charlotte in closer to him as he intertwined their fingers. <br/>“I am home.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you all so much for reading this story. I’ve enjoyed writing it. Your feedback and lovely comments have been really appreciated throughout and I hope the ending does the story justice (it was hard letting this one go).</p><p>I will add a page with all the songs and T Swift Easter Eggs within the next few days (I need to dig the sheet with the first few chapters out). </p><p>Once again, thank you all for joining on this ride- it’s been a fun ride :) </p><p>Title:<br/>Florence and The Machine- You Got The Love</p>
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<a name="section0048"><h2>48. Easter Eggs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi, thank you all so much for all the love you’ve given this story. I will be doing some one-shots around these characters as I just can’t let them go just yet. </p><p>These are the Taylor Swift Easter Eggs that we’re laced through the chapters (that was a very fun little game and if you don’t mind, I think I’d like to continue them through the one shots).</p><p>Once again, thank you so much for reading :) x</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 1:<br/>Dress</p><p>Chapter 2:<br/>The 1 </p><p>Chapter 3: <br/>Mad Woman</p><p>Chapter 4:<br/>The man<br/>Peace<br/>Mirror ball</p><p>Chapter 6:<br/>London Boy <br/>The Last Time</p><p>Chapter 8:<br/>The Man <br/>I knew you were trouble <br/>Dear John<br/>Look what you made me do<br/>The moment I knew </p><p>Chapter 9:<br/>Style</p><p>Chapter 10:<br/>Girl at home <br/>I did something bad<br/>Lover</p><p>Chapter 11:<br/>Blank Space</p><p>Chapter 12:<br/>August</p><p>Chapter 13:<br/>This is me trying </p><p>Chapter 14:<br/>Seven <br/>Lover</p><p>Chapter 15:<br/>Daylight<br/>Hoax<br/>Cardigan <br/>(Additional: Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran was referenced in here as well)</p><p>Chapter 16:<br/>Untouchable</p><p>Chapter 17<br/>Epiphany <br/>Mine<br/>Lover<br/>I almost do </p><p>Chapter 19:<br/>Your in Love </p><p>Chapter 20:<br/>Everything has changed<br/>Betty<br/>Begin again <br/>Seven</p><p>Chapter 22:<br/>Dancing with our hands tied <br/>I knew you were trouble <br/>London Boy</p><p>Chapter 23:<br/>Paper Rings <br/>Lover</p><p>Chapter 24:<br/>Dancing with our hands tied</p><p>Chapter 25:<br/>The lakes<br/>All too well<br/>Cold as you<br/>Forever and alway<br/>Clean</p><p>Chapter 26:<br/>Back to December <br/>Lover <br/>August<br/>I don’t want to live forever <br/>Forever and alway </p><p>Chapter 27:<br/>The lakes </p><p>Chapter 28: <br/>This is me trying <br/>Red</p><p>Chapter 29:<br/>New Romantics <br/>Peace</p><p>Chapter 31:<br/>Tear drops on my guitar<br/>Dancing with our hands tied</p><p>Chapter 32:<br/>All too Well<br/>Hoax<br/>Sparks fly<br/>Invisible String</p><p>Chapter 33:<br/>Never grow up<br/>Invisible String<br/>Dancing with our hands tied</p><p>Chapter 34:<br/>Forever and Always <br/>Archer </p><p>Chapter 35:<br/>False God<br/>Your In Love <br/>Clean </p><p>Chapter 36:<br/>Never grow up<br/>Paper rings<br/>Cardigan </p><p>Chapter 37:<br/>Betty</p><p>Chapter 38: <br/>Cruel Summer<br/>All too well <br/>August </p><p>Chapter 40:<br/>Stay stay stay<br/>Red<br/>Speak now<br/>Lover <br/>Cardigan <br/>Teardrops on my guitar<br/>Delicate  </p><p>Chapter 41:<br/>Picture to burn <br/>Holy ground <br/>Last Time <br/>Should’ve said no </p><p>Chapter 42<br/>Daylight<br/>End game <br/>New Years Day<br/>Lover<br/>Dress</p><p>Chapter 43:<br/>Dress<br/>This is why we can’t have nice things <br/>Long live </p><p>Chapter 44:<br/>End Game<br/>So it goes </p><p>Chapter 45:<br/>Out of the woods <br/>Everything has changed<br/>Change (not a sad picture Sidney had painted)</p><p>Chapter 46:<br/>The last great American dynasty<br/>Miss American and the heartbreak king<br/>Illicit Affairs <br/>Treacherous <br/>Out of the woods <br/>Death by a thousand cuts <br/>August<br/>Dress<br/>Seven<br/>All too well</p><p>Chapter 47:<br/>You belong with me<br/>Cornelia Street <br/>starlight <br/>Daylight<br/>Wildest dream <br/>Invisible string <br/>All too well<br/>Cardigan <br/>Last American dynasty</p>
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